Pregnant 20 year old

[MrsPete]

I am still trying to figure out where anyone here suggested any gov't help besides Medicaid and WIC. I haven't seen anyone suggest they apply for food stamps or subsidized housing or aid for dependent children or any other programs. Like you said, the sticking point will be insurance and it would be irresponsible to not look at all options in order to make sure that baby is covered from the moment she is born. Unless the mom somehow gets insurance herself that will cover her and then the baby when it is born, there aren't many choices for that.

Marsha

I looked back at JUST the first page of the thread, and these suggestions appear. I ignored items related to insurance. As you'll see, people are suggesting that the couple run to the government for more than medical needs. Again, I'm not saying that they may not need help, but it seems that they should look into what they can do on their own FIRST and look to others only after they've done as much as they can. Two college students should be pretty resourceful.

. . . She will most likely get some Food stamps and day care vouchers as long as in school . . . Also she should sign up for Women Infants and Childrens (WIC) and get the benifits from that . . . Also I know in my state that with Day care vouchers a faimly member could get paid for watching a child so you might want to look into that when she has the baby.

. . . I also qualified for WIC, which helped with getting healthy food while I was pregnant and then covered formula for the baby for the first year . . . check into this with Social Services . . .

. . . but here the only thing that DSS recoups from the father is cash assistance. For food stamps and medicaid they'll insist the mother open a Friend of the Court case . . .

Programs such as WIC (which are vouchers for healty food and formula only) have been lifesavers for working women just as much as non-working women.

 

[Colleen27]

If your brother's GF decided to formula feed she could sign up for enfamil/similac's program on the computer. Every month I was getting a butt load of coupons from them, they were great.

And when she registers on those sites, she needs to say she's planning to breastfeed. We got WAY more free samples and coupons when we said I'd be nursing than when we checked "undecided" or "combination of breast and bottle". A little sleazy of them, I think, to try to "tempt" nursing moms to use their products so I don't feel bad at all for pointing out how to get more freebees from them.

Mom to mom sales can be a great source of cheap baby clothes/gear if they have them nearby. SE Michigan has got a great network of sales pretty much every weekend from Mar-June and Aug-Nov, mostly held by churches and schools, but I know from talking to parents on other online forums that they're fewer and further between in some areas. If you can find them, though, you can usually get better than consignment prices, and it is a win-win-win transaction - you get the cheap price, some other mom makes a little cash on her used baby stuff, and the host organization gets the funds from the table rentals.

 

[OrangeCountyCommuter]

WOW! What a thread...

Has anyone on this board ever heard
"Judge not lest you be judged"

I am new here, but the statements on here where people "assume" they know all and are telling others how "wrong" they are seem very "un Disney like" to me. Guess the "Disney sprit" doesn't live on here.

 

[Colleen27]

I looked back at JUST the first page of the thread, and these suggestions appear. I ignored items related to insurance. As you'll see, people are suggesting that the couple run to the government for more than medical needs. Again, I'm not saying that they may not need help, but it seems that they should look into what they can do on their own FIRST and look to others only after they've done as much as they can. Two college students should be pretty resourceful.

FWIW, the bit from me you quoted was part of a tangent about DSS policies, something I know a bit about since I used to work for our state's system. In my first response on the thread I said this:

Receving WIC and food stamps can be very demoralizing, so I wouldn't rush to suggest it unless they're likely to have real problems providing a decent diet without aid. And check the rules before suggesting she apply for daycare assistance, both as far as whether college is an eligible reason (it isn't in my state) and whether you'll be able to accept the vouchers without going to the trouble of getting licensed. Odds are you'll find keeping the arrangement informal to be the better option - between the need to get licensed and the tax implications of declaring the daycare vouchers as income, the tiny reimbursement likely isn't worth the work it takes to get it.

 

[Tink-aholic]

I would like to point out that receiving WIC is not the same as food stamps/welfare. The money comes from Federal grants and from the USDA, so it is not a state-run program. The income eligibility level for WIC is much higher than that of welfare programs.

As someone who has been on both WIC and food stamps for a very short period of time, I can tell you that it is demoralizing to realize that you cannot take care of your responsibilities and must count on other taxpayers to do it. And it SHOULD be. I never felt "entitled" to it....and I made sure I was off all programs AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. That meant I worked full-time and went to school full-time.

Why is everyone assuming that this couple can only work part time while attending school?

 

[aaarcher86]

I would like to point out that receiving WIC is not the same as food stamps/welfare. The money comes from Federal grants and from the USDA, so it is not a state-run program. The income eligibility level for WIC is much higher than that of welfare programs.

As someone who has been on both WIC and food stamps for a very short period of time, I can tell you that it is demoralizing to realize that you cannot take care of your responsibilities and must count on other taxpayers to do it. And it SHOULD be. I never felt "entitled" to it....and I made sure I was off all programs AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. That meant I worked full-time and went to school full-time.

Why is everyone assuming that this couple can only work part time while attending school?

I don't think anyone is assuming that - that is simply what has been stated as the situation currently with one or both (can't remember) looking for another job.

Of all the things people have assumed in this thread, that by far is the least note worthy.

 

[funnygarcia]

\Also I know in my state that with Day care vouchers a faimly member could get paid for watching a child so you might want to look into that when she has the baby.

And check the rules before suggesting she apply for daycare assistance, both as far as whether college is an eligible reason (it isn't in my state) and whether you'll be able to accept the vouchers without going to the trouble of getting licensed. Odds are you'll find keeping the arrangement informal to be the better option - between the need to get licensed and the tax implications of declaring the daycare vouchers as income, the tiny reimbursement likely isn't worth the work it takes to get it.

MN does have programs in place for day care help if you are in college.

As for being licensed, that would not be necessary. If you are only doing child care for one family, no license is required but it is recommended to register with the state. The provider can still accept child care aid funds at the lower unlicensed rate.

OP-have your son's gf check into this with Social Services. Be aware that if they get married before
she qualifies, she may not qualify.

Chances are that she WOULD qualify if they are married. The income guidelines are pretty high for preg moms and babies up to one year. Mom counts as two, family of "2" income cap is $3,340 per month, family of "3" (with husband) is $4,198 per month to qualify for medical assistance in MN.
If they earn over that amount, have not been offered insurance thru an employer (paying 50% of premium), have been without insurance for at least 4 months.. they can apply ofr MN Care which is a sliding scale insurance thru the state. (MN's version of CHIP)

This is their problem and they should be the ones planning. Your job is Aunt and offering to watch the baby is where your involvement should stop.

When I read the OP's first post I see a couple that have kept the pregnancy secret for 5 months. During that time they haven't checked on insurance or daycare...or why would OP be doing the cking ?

That may be true, but young people do panic and maybe a tad embarrassed.

If you are not familiar with the programs or don't know of ANY resources, it can be an overwhelming process. I can understand OP wanting to know what is out there to ensure a healthy baby and help her brother.

As a nursing student, she should be able to be a nursing asst.. however, it might be at a nursing home as the hospitals have cut back on services drastically. Another option is home health or PCA work, lots of families looking for caregivers for disabled children and adults.

Something to consider, marriage might be a good option in terms of qualifying for financial aid as they are no longer considered dependents and would only have their own smaller incomes. This will cover the college costs plus extra funds leftover for day care. It makes sense to pursue the degrees now with a bit of help, then to struggle for years.

 

[Hannathy]

I would like to point out that receiving WIC is not the same as food stamps/welfare. The money comes from Federal grants and from the USDA, so it is not a state-run program. The income eligibility level for WIC is much higher than that of welfare programs.

What difference does it make whether it is state or federal?

 

[funnygarcia]

SNAP (food stamps) is federal dollars too, not that it makes any difference for an argument.

 

[feezle]

What a wonderfully pathetic thread. It amazes me how ignorant some people are on these forums.

 

[torinsmom]

I would like to point out that receiving WIC is not the same as food stamps/welfare. The money comes from Federal grants and from the USDA, so it is not a state-run program. The income eligibility level for WIC is much higher than that of welfare programs.

As someone who has been on both WIC and food stamps for a very short period of time, I can tell you that it is demoralizing to realize that you cannot take care of your responsibilities and must count on other taxpayers to do it. And it SHOULD be. I never felt "entitled" to it....and I made sure I was off all programs AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. That meant I worked full-time and went to school full-time.

Why is everyone assuming that this couple can only work part time while attending school?

That's what I was saying. WIC is not welfare. If you qualify for Medicaid, you qualify for WIC. You get vouchers that cover foods like beans, milk, fruit juice and cheese while you are pregnant. Once your baby is born, the vouchers are for the same if you are bf'ing or for formula if you are not. It can really help when you are struggling to make ends meet, and can make the difference between whether a baby is healthy or not when it is born and throughout the first year.

It is sad that people who abuse the system give programs like this such a bad name. I am sure most people who use them do so out of necessity until they can do better. I am proud to live in a country where babies don't die because noone thinks they should fund someone else's poor "choice". It isn't a choice, it's a baby. I was struggling for that first year, but that doesn't mean I should have given up my son. I have paid taxes for almost 24 years now, and I don't think there was anything wrong with my asking for help when I needed it. My taxes support those who really need and deserve help, as well as those who live off the system for years. I am doing great now, and I don't mind my taxes going to support these programs.

Marsha

 

[torinsmom]

Chances are that she WOULD qualify if they are married. The income guidelines are pretty high for preg moms and babies up to one year. Mom counts as two, family of "2" income cap is $3,340 per month, family of "3" (with husband) is $4,198 per month to qualify for medical assistance in MN.
If they earn over that amount, have not been offered insurance thru an employer (paying 50% of premium), have been without insurance for at least 4 months.. they can apply ofr MN Care which is a sliding scale insurance thru the state. (MN's version of CHIP)

Wow, those are pretty high income limits! I would never have known that a person with one child making over $40,000/year or a family of 3 making $50,000 could qualify for Medicaid. I've been teaching for 12 years and still make less than $40,000

 

[Sunbeamblue2002]

I looked back at JUST the first page of the thread, and these suggestions appear. I ignored items related to insurance. As you'll see, people are suggesting that the couple run to the government for more than medical needs. Again, I'm not saying that they may not need help, but it seems that they should look into what they can do on their own FIRST and look to others only after they've done as much as they can. Two college students should be pretty resourceful.

Yes I did suggest food stamps and WIC because even with sacrafice comes a breaking point. I belive that a child should be able to eat, drink milk, stay healthy. I suggested it because when you go and apply for medcaid you can apply for Food Stamps. When it was just me and my first child and I made 7.50 got nothing and life was tough. We all make sacrifices for our kids but I don't belive that food should be one of them.

Also if your child has ever gotten a grant for college you have gotten govermet asstance. I never suggested that she ever recieve cash help of any type however if she needs that also she should get that. I just was suggesting something to a young first time mom that she may have not know about.

Do you not give to the food pantry or to something at church that is your money going to another person who needed help.

Why is it when something comes up they'll help the downtrodden in other countries, yet will step over a person down the street and call them worthless. I really don't know of many min wage jobs that give benifits. Maybe if people would rally for living wages and the likes these programs wouldn't be so need right now.

 

[hambirg]

This isn't a knock on the OP or the OP's situation, I'm just trying to figure out the mindset of someone who posts like the above.

Why should money be taken by force from people who had no influence on a pregnancy and used to subsidize those who did when they couldn't afford it? Did you ever stop to consider that if folks knew in advance that there would be no money siezed in order to help them they might be a bit more cautious? What you advocate is rewarding poor decision making and anyone knows if you reward a behavior it's more likely to be repeated than avoided.

I have a son in college and you think that somehow society is better off it you take money I could have used to pay for his education and use it to pay for someone else's education instead just because they acted irresponsibly?

If nothing else I guess we should admire your willingness to be so kind with someone else's money

So with that mind frame. . .is your son attending a public university? Did he attend public schools? Do you drive on public roads? Ever had to call the police? I'm sure I can find people that don't use those services. Why should they have their money "seized" to subsidize you? Surely you aren't planning to collect Social Security at some point! Why would people want to pay to take care of others in their old age? The nerve of those blue hairs!!! Hmph! I think we should get rid of FEMA! I have never used their services. And if you live in a flood zone, a hurricane state, or tornado alley, I want my money back! You CHOSE to live their!

Obviously, I'm being sarcastic, but you get my point. We live in a society. there are very good reasons why these kinds of programs are in place. . .and most of them are monetary. It is cheaper to make sure that mothers have prenatal care and babies have insurance, than not. A little help now will save the tax payers money in the long run. I don't know where people are getting the idea that people get welfare money forever. H.R.3734 -- Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996 changed all that. Here's the link. . .read it if you think you know everything. There are mandatory work requirements and it is temporary. . .hence being called Temporary Assistance for Needy Families. In case you don't feel like reading H.R. 3734:

TANF was created by the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act instituted under President Bill Clinton in 1996. The Act provides temporary financial assistance while aiming to get people off of that assistance, primarily through employment. There is a maximum of 60 months of benefits within one's lifetime (some states have instituted shorter periods).[4] In enforcing the 60-month time limit, some states place limits on the adult portion of the assistance only, while still aiding the otherwise eligible children in the household. While on aid, there is a component requiring non-exempt clients to attempt to find employment. Unmarried minor parents have to live with a responsible adult or guardian. Paternity of children must be established in order to receive benefits. These requirements have led to massive drops in the number of people receiving cash benefits since 1996

If you do actually read the bill, Sec 101 will clearly explain why it is in the best interest of ALL of us to provide temporary assistance to families.

I don't get why people get so up in arms about providing needed services in a case like this. I think they just like to pick on the little guy. If you really want to be outraged at something, ask for your TARP money back!!!!!!

To the OP:

http://www.dhs.state.mn.us/main/idc...tionMethod=LatestReleased&dDocName=id_006248#

 

[MomRN]

MAs, CNAs and LPNs can get certified in less than a year. Many RN programs are still two years while the rest are three. Average salary for an RN is between 45K-65K (and OP's brother's girlfriend is going for nursing).

Actually, LPN courses can run 18-24 months, RN associates 2-3 years, and a Bachelors degree takes at least 4 years (like Bachelors degrees do). A ot depends on whether the student is working full-time also, and takes summer classes.

I'm offended by the nursing as a trade comment. We are a profession the same as teachers, doctors, lawyers, etc.

And I offered comments about food stamps, daycare, TANF, etc because some people are unaware of those options. Particularly people that have never needed them. The first time you start crying because you have counted all your change out and your not sure how you are going to buy milk... then come talk to me. Maybe the parents can't help financially. Maybe they won't them back in. You never know the other guys story.

 

[hambirg]

What difference does it make whether it is state or federal?

It means that it is not up to the discretion of the state. It is a program created and funded by the USDA. . .United States Department of Agriculture. Hmmm. . so why would the Department of Agriculture be interested in the nutrition of women and children? It was created by a Senator from Minnesota. . .the 6th largest dairy producing state in the country. What do people get on WIC? Mostly milk and cheese. You do the math.

 

[Hannathy]

It means that it is not up to the discretion of the state. It is a program created and funded by the USDA. . .United States Department of Agriculture. Hmmm. . so why would the Department of Agriculture be interested in the nutrition of women and children? It was created by a Senator from Minnesota. . .the 6th largest dairy producing state in the country. What do people get on WIC? Mostly milk and cheese. You do the math.

So what? it is still paid for by all the people that is my point they are still getting other peoples money. It isn't brought by the WIC fairy.

 

[hambirg]

So what? it is still paid for by all the people that is my point they are still getting other peoples money. It isn't brought by the WIC fairy.

Who is they? The mothers and children on WIC aren't getting any money. They are getting food. The Dairy Industry however is getting lots of money. . .to keep their commodity off the market, avoiding a glut and allowing them to keep prices artificially high. This way they get to collect money from Uncle Sam for a product they over produce that if left to be sold on the free market would drive the price down. WIC is a dairy subsidy.

 

[Hannathy]

PS Uncle Sam is the tax payer. The Government still has to buy the food. and it is more than just dairy on the program. And don't even start on subsidies for different food products, you act like only dairy gets them. Since when does cereal or juice come from cows? those are on WIC. Either way it is still tax dollars being spent.

 

[Jey12]

To the OP, you really don't have to explain every single intimate detail of your family's life. You asked a simple question, and not one I felt you thought you were forced to ask by your brother and his gf. I would suggest having the mom to be talk to a counselor at school. At least one of the college counselors is going to be well versed in offering solid correct advice to pregnant students. Not like this is the first time a college student has gotten pregnant. According to some posters on here they should have never gone to college to start with. I mean why would you when starbucks or Target has benefits and offers a fullfilling career choice. Anyone ever think being a plumber is a SKILLED trade and not just one any person off the street can do and be good at? Since the only question asked here was about insurance I offer the suggestion of talking with a counselor at the school. They probably have a decent listing of available options.

And now...

That is why I mentioned adoption-it isn't a dirty word. It used to be the responsible thing to do in cases like this when they couple couldn't afford the child and wanted to finish school. Rather than making everyone pay for what they should be paying for. they knew they couldn't and would give it to someone who could. This is why it is so hard to adopt a child now. When there was less go ahead we will not hold you responsible and will pay for your irresponsibility women would choose the best for the child and themselves and put it up for adoption when THEY couldn't support it.

Obviously you have never been involved in any way with adoption. If you have I'm sorry but were you paying attention? The way it "used" to be was to shun the mother to feel an outcast and pretty much force to her relinquish parental rights. Many woman never saw their children and most of their children still cannot see their original birth certificate without a court order. This was a slap in the face to any rights a woman had. So if you want to go back to the days when you could drop by your local orphanage like a dog shelter and pick out a baby that's fine, but I personally think those days were not a good way for children to be added to a family.

It isn't that hard to adopt a child now. If you want to take a newborn white child home at birth that looks just like the adoptive parents yes it can take awhile. If you decide you want to be a parent more than usher around a "mini me" of yourself it isn't that difficult. Seems to me that social services are always looking for loving, caring homes for children that want and need one. DH and I decided we'd rather be parents than spend a fortune on being pregnant. We waited exactly 24 hours to speak and be matched with our daughter's biological mother, and a month after that I was holding her in my home rocking her to sleep. Yes we went about all of it legally, and didn't troll high schools or colleges or any other place where unplanned pregnant woman frequent. Adoption is a personal choice and isn't one that should be forced upon someone. This is a life changing choice and the main person it will affect is that child. It's important to remember the child is the only one that didn't have a choice in the matter. No one involved just goes back to their life and continues on. This effects all involved forever, and it is not a decision to be entered into lightly or just because someone else thinks they should.

I have always been respectful that in order for my heart to be complete another mother's heart had to break. I never allow anyone to speak poorly of my DD's biological mother, especially if they want to say she was reckless, didn't want her child or any other negative comments. I am not so arrogant to believe that I can love our child any better than her biological mother. I do love her with all I have like any good parent, but Dh and I simply offer her a life that is different than the one she would have been born into. One that offers a different set of opprotunities, but still in a home where she is treasured, loved, and guided to become a self sufficient happy adult. She was never an unwanted burden that someone couldn't properly take care of. She is my child and was always wanted and loved, and now she has even more people to love and adore her. Adoption is a choice and not one that should ever be entered into without all involved taking the time to educate themselves on the life long impact it can have.