Pregnant 20 year old

[tinkabella627]

She should look into CNA work once the baby comes maybe. Often they can get full time easily, pays okay (not great, but definitely over min wage) and most hospitals/nursing homes offer benefits. It will also make her more employable when she graduates from nursing school since she'll have hospital experience (which is becoming more and more important). A nursing degree should do her very well in the future though.

Oops I should have read your post before I posted

 

[aaarcher86]

I didn't have time to read through everything so sorry if this has been mentioned.

I was pregnant with my first while on my mother's insurance since I was a full time student in college.

I was covered for prenatal care and my child was covered for 30 days after birth.

I do agree though that they will need to contact their insurance provider to get a direct and accurate answer.

 

[mjejj]

I don't have any advice about insurance but I do have a thought about the babysitting.

It's really great that you are willing to watch the baby for them. Just make sure that before the baby comes to sit down with mom and dad and agree on a few "rules" about babysitting. My Mom watched my DB little girl from the time she was a few weeks old until she was five. It started out it was supposed to be just for the first year and only a few hours a day, a couple days a week. It morphed into several hours a day, almost everyday. Of course, my mom didn't mind spending the time with her granddaughter but when my SIL would come to pick up the baby, she would stay for hours after, often not leaving until 8 or 9. My parents ended up feeding not only the baby but my SIL dinner almost every night. It really started wearing my mom out but she didn't want to say anything because she really enjoyed her granddaugher. Anyway, Mom had some health issues and ended up having to make rules that she would watch the girls (they had another that my mom watched too) but that everyone needed to be out of the house by a certain time so she could recover from the day.
They were fine with that and my Mom wished that she had told them that at the begining so she wouldn't have had to stress over how to tell them to leave earlier.

My point in this rambling is, make sure everyone is on the same page before you start so there are no issues later.

Again, I think it is very generous of you to watch the baby. They are going to have a lot on their plate but at least they don't have to worry about the baby getting really good care

 

[Purseval]

It isnt just "someone" else's money...it is everyone's including my own...

If it was your own you could volunteer to give it, not have it taken from you by the government then given away to someone else.

and this ONE COUPLE isn't going to make your taxes and what not go down any less. I would rather it be them that gets help than a drug addict or lazy person...I know a lot of parents that get government help, not because they had an unplanned baby but because they are just useless and don't work.

Again we have no choice in the matter and it isn't one couple. If it was you could PM the OP and send her a check to deal with it. Tossing out a red herring doesn't take away from the fact that you feel it's OK to subsidize poor decision making with other people's money.

Do you know what their kids want to do when they get older....THE SAME THING...they want to "stay at home like my mom".

This particular baby is going to be taken care of by a mom who stays at home. In fact it sounds like if it wasn't for the stay at home mom the girl would be in a major jam.

At least this baby will see her parents working hard to finish college and get a degree. A baby is a miracle, planned or not. I sure hope a situation like this never falls on anyone's lap in your family... and the same goes for other posters who agreed with this one.

Making up a scenario to support your position or trying to make anyone feel guilty over a poor choice doesn't make it any better, it only bolsters the fact that you have a tenuous position that's hard to support with facts.

And to the poster that said college doesnt guarantee better wages... it may not IMMEDIATELY but at least they will have a better shot at a CAREER and not a JOB at some point. Work at starbucks instead of go to college...what a joke! Maybe work at starbucks WHILE going to college, but not instead.

If that were true we wouldn't have record numbers of adult children moving back in with their parents. I'd much rather have a son who knows how to replace brakes than one who majored in English Literature with a minor in History. And the person who works at Starbucks is learning how to run a Starbucks at the same time. So here you are, Starbucks regional hiring manager, and you have 2 managerial candidates before you. Candidate A has 4 year's experience working the store and filling in for management. Candidate B has a college degree with a major in English Literature and a minor in History. Which do you think is better qualified for the CAREER?

None of us know anything about these people except that they are 20/21 and are in college and expecting a baby, but people are so quick to judge....

Not nearly as quick to judge as quick to throw other peoples money at the problem.

 

[Anjelica]

OP - I don't have any advice on assistance programs but I did want to say that it is VERY generous and nice of you to take care of the baby. Many families/people don't have that kind of support system, etc.

With the above being said I guess you could put me in the crabby category as well. I am baffled that the OP is doing quite a bit of the leg work in researching assistance/help and the brother/gf don't appear to have a good plan of attack, per se. I don't believe they should get assistance if they can at all do it themselves. This may mean some sacrifices such as taking less classes, cutting out all extra-activities (i.e. eating out, etc.). These people may have all ready made a good plan that will help to ensure they don't need assistance but I didn't see that mentioned.

Hopefully they learned from this "mistake" - no I am not calling the child a mistake but rather the timing of having a child. Sometimes I think if people take the easy way out (i.e. not having to make sacrifices) then they rarely learn from their mistakes.

Lets hope in a couple of years the couple have finished school, have good paying jobs, a healthy young child and did not need any assistance to get to that point. Something tells me that if they make quite a bit of sacrifice to get where they need to be they will have learned a very valuable life lesson - personal responsibility.

 

[tinkabella627]

If it was your own you could volunteer to give it, not have it taken from you by the government then given away to someone else.


Again we have no choice in the matter and it isn't one couple. If it was you could PM the OP and send her a check to deal with it. Tossing out a red herring doesn't take away from the fact that you feel it's OK to subsidize poor decision making with other people's money.

This particular baby is going to be taken care of by a mom who stays at home. In fact it sounds like if it wasn't for the stay at home mom the girl would be in a major jam.


Making up a scenario to support your position or trying to make anyone feel guilty over a poor choice doesn't make it any better, it only bolsters the fact that you have a tenuous position that's hard to support with facts.


If that were true we wouldn't have record numbers of adult children moving back in with their parents. I'd much rather have a son who knows how to replace brakes than one who majored in English Literature with a minor in History. And the person who works at Starbucks is learning how to run a Starbucks at the same time. So here you are, Starbucks regional hiring manager, and you have 2 managerial candidates before you. Candidate A has 4 year's experience working the store and filling in for management. Candidate B has a college degree with a major in English Literature and a minor in History. Which do you think is better qualified for the CAREER?


Not nearly as quick to judge as quick to throw other peoples money at the problem.

1. The gov't takes money for plenty of things... if you don't like it I guess you could find another country to live in? But being that this isn't the first day your money has been taken from you, I am sure you can drop that subject now...

2. I just truly think you need to be in someone else's shoes to really understand the need for gov't money.... You know nothing of me or my family so who is to say that my family didn't at one point or another need gov't help... I am not going to glorify you by giving you details, just saying you don't know half these people and you could be offending more than just the OP...not everyone who made a "bad decision" abuses the system... those are the people that ruin it for the people that need it temporarily...you are looking at everyone that needs gov't help as an inconvenience to you.

3. The child i mention that wants to be "just like mom and stay home"... isn't trying to be a stay at home mom, they are trying to be a lazy mom who lives off the gov't because she either won't work or can't get a job because she has no credentials.

4. I didn't make up any scenario...I am not sure what you are referring to but nothing I posted was "made up"

5. Your starbucks career.... how about my friend who has been working at Burger King since she was 15 (11 years now) AND has the business degree... BUT STILL ISN'T A STORE MANAGER..... it doesn't always work that way...

like I said, you know nothing of me or anyone else's background... so before you (and other posters similar to your ideas) are so quick to throw out harsh judgements of people that may need gov't help or accidentally got pregnant or any other situation.... think about the fact that you could be hitting a nerve with someone else.

 

[pigletto]

OP, I have little practical advice to give you on your insurance situation. I just wanted to send best wishes to you and your family and commend you for looking for the positives in a trying situation. Congratulations on becoming an Aunt.

 

[aaarcher86]

I find it interesting that people are so angry over a 20 year old soon to be mother who wants to finish college while working getting a bit of assistance.

Before we complain about our taxes going to a situation like this why don't we eradicate the people who make a career out of living on welfare and popping out a kid every year or so to keep their payments coming in. After that happens I would be able to at least understand where you're coming from.

Until this ^^ happens I'm happy that my tax dollars (which would be taken regardless) can help people like this, or people who lose their jobs and need a little help for a short time, etc.

I mean cripes OP - how dare you not post the most intimate details of the situation. Geeze - how could you not know that your few sentences wouldn't lead to 'intentional pregnancies' and 'welfare whoring.'

Carry on.

 

[tinkabella627]

I find it interesting that people are so angry over a 20 year old soon to be mother who wants to finish college while working getting a bit of assistance.

Before we complain about our taxes going to a situation like this why don't we eradicate the people who make a career out of living on welfare and popping out a kid every year or so to keep their payments coming in. After that happens I would be able to at least understand where you're coming from.

Until this ^^ happens I'm happy that my tax dollars (which would be taken regardless) can help people like this, or people who lose their jobs and need a little help for a short time, etc.

I mean cripes OP - how dare you not post the most intimate details of the situation. Geeze - how could you not know that your few sentences wouldn't lead to 'intentional pregnancies' and 'welfare whoring.'

Carry on.

 

[Hannathy]

5. Your starbucks career.... how about my friend who has been working at Burger King since she was 15 (11 years now) AND has the business degree... BUT STILL ISN'T A STORE MANAGER..... it doesn't always work that way...

OT BUT Have you considered it is your friend and not Burger King. Degree or not she may not be management material, not everyone is. If she has been employed there that long and they know she wants to manage I would say the problem is with her. I have a friend who moved up to manager with out the degree after far less time with the company but she is very good at what she does. So it is possible.

 

[tinkabella627]

OT BUT Have you considered it is your friend and not Burger King. Degree or not she may not be management material, not everyone is. If she has been employed there that long and they know she wants to manage I would say the problem is with her. I have a friend who moved up to manager with out the degree after far less time with the company but she is very good at what she does. So it is possible.

I see what you are saying but it isn't..she has moved up multiple times. She is a manager but not a store manager. The problem is the openings aren't there yet. That is more what I was saying...they may be great at what they do and completely eligible but the openings may not exist or someone with the same credentials but more seniority exists... things happen so they can't depend on becoming a manager even though it is a possibility.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

My 21 year old brother and his 20 year old girlfriend are pregnant. I love my brother and I love babies...but I still wish they would have been a little more carefull. We will welcome this little girl into our lives and I am very excited to meet her. It is a mixed blessing...

Anyway, I need your help to figure out the options my brothers girlfriend will have during pregnancy and once the baby is born. She is currently going to college and on her parents health care plan. What happens once the baby is born?? How do we make sure the baby has health insurance?

Does anyone know of any other programs available for young mothers in MN? I want to get her all of the help that I can find.

I am a stay at home mom, so I plan on watching the baby for her so she can continue going to college.

Thanks you! I just found out about the pregnancy 4 days ago. I am still a little in shock. She is already 5 months!!!

I have read all of the replies but I am not here to judge. Most states have a children's health insurance. CHIP. I have the list of the states that have this along with the phone numbers if you would like a copy I can pm you one. The company includes this list every year when we chose our health plan.

 

[Colleen27]

I think some of the "crabby" posters are like me. When I read the OP's first post I see a couple that have kept the pregnancy secret for 5 months. During that time they haven't checked on insurance or daycare...or why would OP be doing the cking ? Nothing about either of the couple increasing work hours or school load before the baby arrives. It is nice OP wants to do free day care, but as any of us w/ children know this is a huge responsibility...and one I see offered LOTS, and then 2-3 months into it withdrawn. I have a sense the mom to be got pregnant because she wanted to...I see that a lot too. Old enough to decide to have a baby, but not old enough to be responsible for it...or she'd have already had the insurance, day care, etc... in place. There is nothing more wonderful than a baby, and all babies deserve responsible, mature parents that do their utmost to provide for them. That means you wait to get pregnant until you can take care of both yourself and the baby. Novel concept.

So basically, you read some simply facts and wove them into a narrative that fits your biases? You don't know when they found out about the pregnancy, or if they waited to make the announcement until they'd weighed all the options and were sure they planned to keep the baby. You assume the OP - a SAHM - doesn't know what she's getting into by offering childcare. And then you make the leap that always gets made eventually about a young woman who decides to keep an unplanned pregnancy - that she did it on purpose because she's such a hormonal, empty headed twit that she'd deliberately make her entire life harder to satisfy some dysfunctional desire to have a child RIGHT NOW.

I'd be crabby too if I looked at everything through such a cynical lens.

 

[Colleen27]

Maybe one of them should choose a trade. Plumbers and electricians can make a very nice living, and nurses always have work (usually with benefits).

Nurses, maybe (but isn't that a 4yr degree?). But unemployed plumbers and electricians (and carpenters and HVAC specialists and anyone else in the building trades) are a dime a dozen right now, and demand for their skills won't pick up until the housing market does. Now is not the time for a young adult looking for an in demand skill to be going into any of those trades.

 

[Colleen27]

So here you are, Starbucks regional hiring manager, and you have 2 managerial candidates before you. Candidate A has 4 year's experience working the store and filling in for management. Candidate B has a college degree with a major in English Literature and a minor in History. Which do you think is better qualified for the CAREER?

Sadly, the reality of hiring decisions these days is that in many cases Candidate A won't even be considered unless she also has the "piece of paper" the company requires for advancement. BTDT in the IT field - I have a 2 year degree and (at the time) multiple industry certifications backed up by current job experience, but was told by quite a few companies that without a bachelors I wouldn't even get an interview. These are companies that recruit at colleges, so obviously a brand-new grad is more desirable than an experienced professional, on the basis of having the degree.

 

[MrsPete]

I think it is important to look at the big picture/long run, though, rather than fall into the poverty-inducing/perpetuating trap of looking only at the immediate. Medical assistance for a child while one or both parents finish college is more likely to result in a stable long term outcome than for them to drop out and go to work at Starbucks to provide benefits right now at the expense of their long-term prospects.

I definitely agree that they need to look at the long-term picture, but that doesn't excuse them from short-term responsibilities too.

My objection is that so many posters suggested that they head straight for government assistance as a FIRST CHOICE. They should figure out what they can do FOR THEMSELVES FIRST: Part-time jobs, moving home with parents rather than living in an apartment, etc. And then look to others for help IF they need further assistance.

For example, insurance is probably going to be a sticking point -- neither of them is likely to get insurance with a part-time job, and their parents' insurance probably won't pay for a child born to a dependant. So they may HAVE TO go with government help with medical stuff . . . but that doesn't mean that they themselves shouldn't be providing other things, which are within their grasp. For example, food, clothing, baby equipment. They shouldn't look to others for anything they themselves are capable of providing.

Two healthy young people should be able to work part-time jobs while going to school, and IF they're living at home they should be able to put a good dent in the baby's expenses. They no longer have as many options as they did pre-baby (they may need to choose a different school closer to home, they may not be free to work late hours, etc.), but they should provide SOMETHING financially for their child, even if they are students.

Their choice to have a child now will certainly make it more difficult to get an education, but it won't make it impossible -- especially since they're both committed to the baby.

 

[Tink-aholic]

Nurses, maybe (but isn't that a 4yr degree?). But unemployed plumbers and electricians (and carpenters and HVAC specialists and anyone else in the building trades) are a dime a dozen right now, and demand for their skills won't pick up until the housing market does. Now is not the time for a young adult looking for an in demand skill to be going into any of those trades.

MAs, CNAs and LPNs can get certified in less than a year. Many RN programs are still two years while the rest are three. Average salary for an RN is between 45K-65K (and OP's brother's girlfriend is going for nursing).

Plumbers and electricians will always be in demand as long as people have plumbing and electricity. According to CollegeBoard.com, economists expect job growth for plumbers to be faster than the average for all careers through 2018. Not to mention that the median salary for plumbers averages $50K per year.

None of these jobs can be effectively outsourced, so the skills will always be in demand.

 

[torinsmom]

I definitely agree that they need to look at the long-term picture, but that doesn't excuse them from short-term responsibilities too.

My objection is that so many posters suggested that they head straight for government assistance as a FIRST CHOICE. They should figure out what they can do FOR THEMSELVES FIRST: Part-time jobs, moving home with parents rather than living in an apartment, etc. And then look to others for help IF they need further assistance.

For example, insurance is probably going to be a sticking point -- neither of them is likely to get insurance with a part-time job, and their parents' insurance probably won't pay for a child born to a dependant. So they may HAVE TO go with government help with medical stuff . . . but that doesn't mean that they themselves shouldn't be providing other things, which are within their grasp. For example, food, clothing, baby equipment. They shouldn't look to others for anything they themselves are capable of providing.

Two healthy young people should be able to work part-time jobs while going to school, and IF they're living at home they should be able to put a good dent in the baby's expenses. They no longer have as many options as they did pre-baby (they may need to choose a different school closer to home, they may not be free to work late hours, etc.), but they should provide SOMETHING financially for their child, even if they are students.

Their choice to have a child now will certainly make it more difficult to get an education, but it won't make it impossible -- especially since they're both committed to the baby.

I am still trying to figure out where anyone here suggested any gov't help besides Medicaid and WIC. I haven't seen anyone suggest they apply for food stamps or subsidized housing or aid for dependent children or any other programs. Like you said, the sticking point will be insurance and it would be irresponsible to not look at all options in order to make sure that baby is covered from the moment she is born. Unless the mom somehow gets insurance herself that will cover her and then the baby when it is born, there aren't many choices for that.

Marsha

 

[funnygarcia]

I live in MN.. and I was in the same situation 17 years ago.

Mom and baby (Baby auto qualifies for one year) will qualify for medical assistance, a family can make a decent wage and still get medical aid.
The state can pay for COBRA, any deductible/ co pay, part of the premium if she is still covered under her parent's insurance.

If they do make too much $ income, mom can be covered under MN care if she does not have access to health insurance thru an employer. If they decide to marry, they all can be under MN Care (they key is no insurance thru an employer)

info here!

http://www.dhs.state.mn.us/main/idc...onMethod=LatestReleased&dDocName=dhs16_136855

If she qualifies for medical assist, she auto qualifies for WIC.

More resources in MN
http://www.health.state.mn.us/wrtk/findservices.html

or call first call for help 211
They also have a website.

And resources for the father.. equally important!
http://www.mnfathers.org/resources.html
http://www.mnfathers.org/dads.html

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

OP HERE

Wow. I am a bit surprised by all of the replies.

Thank you to those who offer support and constructive ideas on how to handle the insurance. I just found out that the insurance will not allow the baby to be added to the plan after she is born. My brother and his girlfriend ARE checking into insurance options for the baby. In addition to what they are doing, I told them I would check around to see if I could find anything to help them out. In my mind, that is what family is for especially when you are forced to deal with an unplanned situation. I thought the NICE people on the dis would be able to offer me some helpful tips/ideas.

My brother is a full time college student with a part time job (that doesn't offer benefits). Yes, he could quit college and get a full time job with benefits, but in the long run staying in college seems like the best option. My brothers girlfriend plans on continuing with college after the baby is born. I am happy to be able to help them out with daycare. Yes, this baby wasn't planned...but it will be LOVED by its parents and all of the extended family. I don't believe anyone should be forced to "fend for themselves" when they have a child, no matter the age of the parent. I believe all parents need help/support and the more loving people in the lives of a child and parent...the better.

Just wanted to offer you and your brother and brother's GF a .
Here in NJ we have a program, I think its called NJ Kid care and its all based on income of course. I hope everything works out for your family, I know that it was unexpected, but its a baby and a baby is blessing, so enjoy this little one coming into your life.

If your brother's GF decided to formula feed she could sign up for enfamil/similac's program on the computer. Every month I was getting a butt load of coupons from them, they were great. Pampers also has site that they could register on. Consignment shops are GREAT, especially when they are newborns/infants and grow out of clothes so quickly, why waste all that money on new things that they will only wear for 3 months? Also ebay, people sell "lots" of clothing, they could get tons of outfits for the price of one.

I am sure everything will work out, good luck to you all.