Pixie dust, good thoughts, etc!! Update 7/9

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Thank you! Now let's focus on getting your mom to the same place! My mom was exactly where your mom is now. Cancer in the lymph nodes and all. Chemo is tough, but with people around her that cared about her and for her, she was able to pull through. I think it may have been harder on my dad that on my mom. So it's important now to make sure that ALL of your loved ones have support.

If your mom isn't good about being her own advocate, someone else needs to do it for her. Communication with the doctors about pain, etc is crucial.

And remember that you've got us to lean on when YOU need it!

My mom is a widow, and a single mom. My 16 year old sister is a selfish diva. The best I can do is remind my sister that if something happens to Mom that I will be her guardian. That's her idea of hell on earth.

I am a professional nanny. I raise other people's children, and that's what I have done full time for almost 16 years. I am strict. I am also immune to whining, manipulation, threats, and everything else in her arsenal. Better for her if Mom recovers!

Mom has her sister, a sister-in-law, and several nieces living in the same town. I am 2 states away. I am authorized to talk with her medical team, so I will do what I can from here. I told her we need to look at the different options for chemo and prepare a list of questions. She figures the oncologist can pick whatever chemical he wants and she will sit and be infused with it.

My friend tells me she prays for me to have patience and peace.

 

[rpmdfw]

My mom is a widow, and a single mom. My 16 year old sister is a selfish diva. The best I can do is remind my sister that if something happens to Mom that I will be her guardian. That's her idea of hell on earth.

I am a professional nanny. I raise other people's children, and that's what I have done full time for almost 16 years. I am strict. I am also immune to whining, manipulation, threats, and everything else in her arsenal. Better for her if Mom recovers!

Mom has her sister, a sister-in-law, and several nieces living in the same town. I am 2 states away. I am authorized to talk with her medical team, so I will do what I can from here. I told her we need to look at the different options for chemo and prepare a list of questions. She figures the oncologist can pick whatever chemical he wants and she will sit and be infused with it.

My friend tells me she prays for me to have patience and peace.

Well, if I prayed, I think I'd be praying for you to have patience and peace, too! I'll send you happy thoughts, instead.

Wow. 2 states away? That's tough. Your sister being a "Selfish diva" probably masks a lot of insecurities. Make sure that you're looking out for her as well. This is going to be really hard on her for a lot of reasons. And it may bring out another side of her that you don't expect. Sometimes this kind of thing brings out the best in people, sometimes it doesn't. Hopefully she'll rise to the challenges and help you. Is it possible that your mom tells her things she doesn't share with you? She may be the person who knows the most about how badly your mom is feeling. I know my mom tells my sister things that she doesn't talk to me about. My suggestion is to try and make her your ally in this fight. It'll make things easier for you both.

It sounds like you've got a handle on the medical side of things, even if you can't be there. My advice is to call on your support system (both in your mom's town and your own local system--including us) as much as possible.

Anyway, that's my take on things. It may or may not be helpful, but I sure hope you're doing okay!

Let us know how things are going. Sometimes just talking through it is very helpful!



Rob

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Thanks, Rob!

I think my mom and my sister spend most of their time butting heads. I don't know if Mom shares her feelings with anyone. She tends to prefer not to get to bogged down in reality.

I have told Mom over and over that BOTH she and Diva Girl need counseling. Our family is horribly dysfunctional, and my father did a lot of emotional damage. Neither one of them have dealt with his death, let alone dealing with the cancer. It's a mess. My sister figures the best way to deal with things is to be sure that everything is always 100% about HER. I can talk to her until I am blue in the face. She will nod and act like I am getting through, but as soon as I leave the room she is back to her old ways.

My sister was born the year I got married, so we are essentially strangers. We've never lived in the same house. She is only 4 years older than DS and she is insanely jealous of him. She doesn't like me because I am always telling Mom she is too lenient. Mom doesn't feel like fighting with her, so she just never gives her any rules or boundaries. Like I said, it's a mess. And Mom refuses to put any effort in to change things, so I am just spinning my wheels.

 

[rpmdfw]

Wow.

Maybe I WILL start praying for you!

Well, it looks like all of my wonderful advice doesn't apply to your situation at all.

Sorry!

But we're still here if you need us!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Rob - I still appreciate your advice!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I flew up to visit Mom on Thursday. She seemed to be doing well. Friday she was running a fever so I took her in for some lab work. Labs were normal. Saturday she felt OK, Sunday she slept all day. Yesterday she was feverish again and felt horrible. They put her back in the hospital last night, so I cancelled my flight home.

I spoke to her a little while ago and she said she is exhausted. She doesn't know if they are going to discharge her today or not. If I need to stay longer I can change my flight again, but DH HAS to go back to work. He is home with DS today but it is unpaid.

I'm not sure what time the doctor will see Mom today, but hopefully I will hear something soon!

 

[rpmdfw]

I flew up to visit Mom on Thursday. She seemed to be doing well. Friday she was running a fever so I took her in for some lab work. Labs were normal. Saturday she felt OK, Sunday she slept all day. Yesterday she was feverish again and felt horrible. They put her back in the hospital last night, so I cancelled my flight home.

I spoke to her a little while ago and she said she is exhausted. She doesn't know if they are going to discharge her today or not. If I need to stay longer I can change my flight again, but DH HAS to go back to work. He is home with DS today but it is unpaid.

I'm not sure what time the doctor will see Mom today, but hopefully I will hear something soon!

Nothing I can say, but I hope things work out for your mom and for you.

Hugs!

 

[OrlandoMike]

Good thoughts and Pixie dust for your Mom, I hope the news gets better!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Thanks, Rob & Mike!

Really no news today yet. When I talked to Mom she said the fever has resolved but she didn't know if they were going to send her home or not. When I spoke to the doctor yesterday she gave me no reason to think they would keep Mom longer than overnight.

 

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

Darn, I am awfully sorry to hear about this. I hope she gets better soon and can come home. Prayers on the way.

 

[NikkiPants]

Ooh I hope your mom recovers quickly and without problems!
Good thoughts, positive energy, pixie dust, and good vibrations her way!!!

Aaand...it sounds like your sister needs a good bum-whoopin.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Thanks for your good thoughts, everyone! They discharged Mom about 3:30 today. I was able to grab her prescriptions on the way to the hospital, so that was good. She doesn't feel great, but better than yesterday! We got her home and she settled in, and I left for the airport about 5 PM. Miraculously, there was a Dallas flight boarding when I got there. It had been delayed. I was able to hop on that instead of waiting for my flight at 9:50 PM, so I am home now.

I talked to my sister for HOURS this weekend. Only time will tell if it did any good.

Back to work in the morning. I told Mom to call me after she goes to the doctor tomorrow afternoon.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

{{{hugs}}} My parents live in the northeast and it's very hard when they fall ill. I send you strength and patience. (I have one of those sisters too).

All the best to you, and to your Mom for a problem free full recovery from this point on.

 

[Saxton]

I'm glad to hear that she's out of the hospital and you're back home. I'm sure she'll feel more comfortable at home and hopefully she'll recover quickly.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Thanks, all!

Mom is still plugging away. We think the problems she is having now are side effects from her antibiotics.
DH and I were both FLOORED that they didn't have her on antibiotics for the days immediately following her surgery. Didn't they think there MIGHT be a chance of infection? And wouldn't it have been better to PREVENT the infection instead of waiting for it to set in and THEN try to treat it? Just my opinion, of course, but it chaps my fanny that nobody else seemed to think post-op antibiotics were a good idea.

She saw one doctor yesterday, then she sees another one on Wednesday, then back to the first doctor on July 9, and then the oncologist on July 18. They are keeping an eye on her, so hopefully she will start to feel better soon. She will be finished with one antibiotic on Monday.

 

[rpmdfw]

Thanks, all!

Mom is still plugging away. We think the problems she is having now are side effects from her antibiotics.
DH and I were both FLOORED that they didn't have her on antibiotics for the days immediately following her surgery. Didn't they think there MIGHT be a chance of infection? And wouldn't it have been better to PREVENT the infection instead of waiting for it to set in and THEN try to treat it? Just my opinion, of course, but it chaps my fanny that nobody else seemed to think post-op antibiotics were a good idea.

She saw one doctor yesterday, then she sees another one on Wednesday, then back to the first doctor on July 9, and then the oncologist on July 18. They are keeping an eye on her, so hopefully she will start to feel better soon. She will be finished with one antibiotic on Monday.

Glad to hear that things are looking up! I would have assumed that post-op antibiotics were routine for any surgery. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

 

[mykidsintow]

Actually post op antibiotics aren't really routine anymore. None of our med mission kids or even Julia when she had her foot surgery were on antbiotics. Apparently they do some huge antibiotic pre-surgery and during surgery that is suppose to do the trick. It is suppose to last and prevent infection for the entire surgery and post-op. I have only had a child on antibiotics once after a surgery and I won't get into the raunchy details, but lets just say it was an open wound in an area that would see lots of gooey mess. So it was necessary.

I am glad to hear your mom is doing better. We will continue to send positve thoughts her way for her and your family!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Glad to hear that things are looking up! I would have assumed that post-op antibiotics were routine for any surgery. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

Thanks!
See, that's how I feel, too. I would think that preventing infection would be a top priority, because infection is the thing that will derail a recovery faster than anything else! And they had her on pain meds that would have masked her fever had she not skipped a dose!
I get not over-using antibiotics, but it seems like they would have been clearly warranted here.
Anyway, she is feeling a bit better. I hope she continues to improve so she will be nice and strong for her first chemo infsuion.

 

[TuckandStuiesMom]

OMG JSG! I totally missed this earlier...glad she's doing better but still sending all the pixie dust i can muster...

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Actually post op antibiotics aren't really routine anymore. None of our med mission kids or even Julia when she had her foot surgery were on antbiotics. Apparently they do some huge antibiotic pre-surgery and during surgery that is suppose to do the trick. It is suppose to last and prevent infection for the entire surgery and post-op. I have only had a child on antibiotics once after a surgery and I won't get into the raunchy details, but lets just say it was an open wound in an area that would see lots of gooey mess. So it was necessary.

I am glad to hear your mom is doing better. We will continue to send positve thoughts her way for her and your family!

I guess with so many strains of resistant stuff they are trying to get away from using antibiotics as a preventative? I guess I can see it from both sides. They don't want to use antibiotics unless there is an infection, but the infection caused her to be hospitalized for another night and she has felt like crap ever since. Double edged sword, I suppose.

OMG JSG! I totally missed this earlier...glad she's doing better but still sending all the pixie dust i can muster...

Thanks! As bumpy as her post-op has been I am very concerned about her chemo, so we still need plenty of good wishes!