Paying bills versus going on vacation or other non-essentials

[Christine]

Well I'm a bill payer so you know my answer. I also think that we've lost the trait of personal responsibility. I paid for both of my kids' college tuition because I wanted to do that for them--have them start out debt free. I sacrificed a lot of fun stuff to do so while my cousin, in the same position, did the opposite with her kids. They each wracked up $100K in debt and she herself bought a beach condo and lived the life. I skipped vacations for a few years, didn't move out the area that I dislike, etc, all to make it work. I feel like, one day, I'll be the fool because her kids may get loan "forgiveness."

That said, my aunt, who has never been fiscally responsible, was diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer. We scheduled a big trip to Disney as sort of a last family fun time for her. She insisted on paying her way on the trip which was a pricey one for everyone. She loved that trip, made great memories for her and she talked about it until her death 2 years later. But, she died with significant credit debt and unpaid bills because she did live that way. It was all written off.

 

[mjkacmom]

Please be careful with this comment as it shows clear ignorance to the modern college student. Most kids don't go to a name brand school. They go to their local state university, which although public, may still be expensive. And they may still rack up a lot of student debt in the process going to this "non-name brand" college.

Bills always come before vacation.

I think folks who didn’t go to college recently or have kids in college really don’t understand the current tuition crisis which has outpaced salaries and increased almost 200% in the last 20 years. Our in state publics are $30,000+ a year with room and board ($15,000 to commute). Nothing fancy or prestigious, those would be $90,000 a year. Two of my kids are almost done paying off loans, they started out paying $1000 a month (good salaries, all of my kids’ chosen professions require a college degree, one needs a doctorate, two require post college exams).

 

[mjkacmom]

Well I'm a bill payer so you know my answer. I also think that we've lost the trait of personal responsibility. I paid for both of my kids' college tuition because I wanted to do that for them--have them start out debt free. I sacrificed a lot of fun stuff to do so while my cousin, in the same position, did the opposite with her kids. They each wracked up $100K in debt and she herself bought a beach condo and lived the life. I skipped vacations for a few years, didn't move out the area that I dislike, etc, all to make it work. I feel like, one day, I'll be the fool because her kids may get loan "forgiveness."

That said, my aunt, who has never been fiscally responsible, was diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer. We scheduled a big trip to Disney as sort of a last family fun time for her. She insisted on paying her way on the trip which was a pricey one for everyone. She loved that trip, made great memories for her and she talked about it until her death 2 years later. But, she died with significant credit debt and unpaid bills because she did live that way. It was all written off.

You do know that student loan forgiveness was for the federal loans, which students can only borrow $27,000 over the four years (and we all know there is no way that much will ever be forgiven). We were only able to save up about $200,000 for our kids to go to college, divide that by 5 and obviously they still need loans. We drove cars into the ground (only bought used) and took vacations every 4 years or so, never ate out, shopped sales, and live in a small home. Students can have debt even if parents are frugal. My kids worked in HS and college, part time when in school and full time on breaks, since they were 14.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I think folks who didn’t go to college recently or have kids in college really don’t understand the current tuition crisis which has outpaced salaries and increased almost 200% in the last 20 years. Our in state publics are $30,000+ a year with room and board ($15,000 to commute). Nothing fancy or prestigious, those would be $90,000 a year. Two of my kids are almost done paying off loans, they started out paying $1000 a month (good salaries, all of my kids’ chosen professions require a college degree, one needs a doctorate, two require post college exams).

This is so on point. I'm in the VERY RARE class in which college tuition is free for my kid since I'm a professor. BUT, that doesn't factor in fees. In some cases, the fees alone can be as much, if not more, than the tuition itself.

But I work at a small regional state university with very affordable tuition and most of my students incur at least some debt.

The world of higher education is a foreign one to most unless you actually live/work in it and believe me, it's changed drastically since we all went to college.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I’m two years out from a stage 3 diagnosis. I’m healthy right now, but very aware that the cancer can come back at any time. I’m all about living my life to the fullest,

Best wishes for you, @#1hoosierfan. Just wanted to say my wife, Marie, also a stage 3 cancer survivor, does try to live life to her fullest also. She was diagnosed at age 50, 26 years ago. We just celebrated her 76th a few months ago. Blessings for you in all you do and enjoy in the many years ahead.

 

[Moliphino]

You do know that student loan forgiveness was for the federal loans, which students can only borrow $27,000 over the four years (and we all know there is no way that much will ever be forgiven). We were only able to save up about $200,000 for our kids to go to college, divide that by 5 and obviously they still need loans. We drove cars into the ground (only bought used) and took vacations every 4 years or so, never ate out, shopped sales, and live in a small home. Students can have debt even if parents are frugal. My kids worked in HS and college, part time when in school and full time on breaks, since they were 14.

And the interest rates have gotten ridiculous. I've heard of a lot of people on income based repayment plans whose monthly payments don't even cover the interest, so the loans continue to grow even though they're making regular payments.

 

[LSUmiss]

Because there are so many cancer types there's not really a way to say what one person would do.

Last year my aunt was diagnosed with Stage 3b lung cancer and for her she was advised a very low 5 year survival rate. She's now in remission but there could have been so many variables to her that made for different choices made.

My husband's coworker is dealing with his son having DIPG which is fatal. His son has done Make a Wish, there's been a lot of efforts to do things for him including biker parades, police parades and so much more. Right now they are in CA for 6 weeks for treatment hoping on hope that experimental trial/treatment can help. This poor kid is trying like heck to put on a happy face. But I have no idea what they are doing financially speaking nor can I muster up judgement and I've only met this couple once.

You're not crazy but neither is necessarily the other people. I'm all about personal responsibility and would normally say of course don't put yourself in debt but what would I do if I had cancer? That's a question I can't answer and one I hope I never have to actually ponder with seriousness.

Happy that you healthy

Exactly both of my parents died rather suddenly. My dad got diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer & only lived 3 weeks after that. My mom died of cardiac arrest with no warning. Both had not retired yet & had been extremely frugal out of concern for having enough money to live into retirement. They’re has to be a balance, but if I had already been diagnosed with cancer once, I would definitely take that trip! My dad was in remission from his first bout of cancer (lymphoma) for 10 years when the pancreatic cancer showed up.

 

[Christine]

You do know that student loan forgiveness was for the federal loans, which students can only borrow $27,000 over the four years (and we all know there is no way that much will ever be forgiven). We were only able to save up about $200,000 for our kids to go to college, divide that by 5 and obviously they still need loans. We drove cars into the ground (only bought used) and took vacations every 4 years or so, never ate out, shopped sales, and live in a small home. Students can have debt even if parents are frugal. My kids worked in HS and college, part time when in school and full time on breaks, since they were 14.

Oh wow, did I sound like I was judging people who got loans? I'm not at all. I absolutely understand why people get them. I just don't agree with forgiveness. Sure, if my kids (or I) had the loans, I'd take what the government might offer me to get rid of some of the debt. I just don't agree with it. In my particular circle at our particular income level, there are parents who made the choice to do what I did (I also drove around 200K mile cars for a long time), and forego things, and other who provided no college support at all to their children--and that's a choice people make based on what they believe in. I just don't happen to think loans should be "forgiven" on the backs of taxpayers. Not a fan of corporate bailouts either.

 

[luv2cheer92]

And the interest rates have gotten ridiculous. I've heard of a lot of people on income based repayment plans whose monthly payments don't even cover the interest, so the loans continue to grow even though they're making regular payments.

Thanfully my loans will be forgiven in a few years with PSLF, but I've gained around $30,000 in interest.

 

[#1hoosierfan]

Best wishes for you, @#1hoosierfan. Just wanted to say my wife, Marie, also a stage 3 cancer survivor, does try to live life to her fullest also. She was diagnosed at age 50, 26 years ago. We just celebrated her 76th a few months ago. Blessings for you in all you do and enjoy in the many years ahead.

Oh my goodness Dan. Thank you so much for posting. I love hearing stories such as this. I was 49 when diagnosed. Tell Marie I said “hello”

 

[TiggerTrigger]

I can see both sides of it.

I'm nearing the 2-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis and I've been through a wide range of emotions...as well as a wide range of bills. The only true vacation we've had since my diagnosis was booked 3 months before I my initial biopsy and paid for in part by my parents as a treat (celebrating their milestone anniversary). My diagnosis came on the heels of my younger one breaking her thumb and requiring surgery. So, it was a really bad time for medical bills. Still, we found a way to balance everything out since I didn't want a mountain of medical debt. We haven't had a real vacation since and settle for tacking on a little fun here and there to my younger one's softball travels. We celebrated our own milestone anniversary over the summer and I had a big bday, but I didn't get to do any of the bucket list travel I'd dreamed of before my diagnosis. In fact, around that time, I got to have another biopsy and excision instead of taking a trip. So, all of that travel is just going to have to wait. I get why some would do it. A fun trip would be a nice mental treat in the middle of it all, but I just can't justify it when there are medical bills and child expenses to pay.

On the flip side, if it's a terminal diagnosis or the odds are heavily against you, I could see doing something. A college friend died from lung cancer (non-smoker) several years ago and they took a few trips as a family before she became too ill for travel. They did have Go Fund Me going to help with costs, but I'm not sure if that was for travel or medical bills. I just know it was really important to them to have these family experiences before she became too sick for anything.

I think the amount also becomes overwhelming if you need more critical. long term or experimental cancer care. I have a work friend whose mom is pretty much living at MD Anderson right now. Others I know who have had similar treatments have spent 6+ months living at the hospital and getting care. That kind of care will literally destroy most people on the financial side. People talk about budgeting, but how do you budget for hundreds of thousands to millions in cancer care? Thankfully, my costs are not on this level (at least for now), but many people wind up having to sell off everything they own and declare bankruptcy. So, I try not to be too critical as most people don't have that kind of money.

 

[slo]

As many know, I manage a Chiropractor's office and it's amazing how many people don't pay their bills - even the smallest ones like $25 or less - they just don't - I'll never understand.

I think a big problem with many people is that they don't know how to budget their money and/or they don't have financial organization. They get all these medical bills and they feel completely overwhelmed. They don't know what to do, so they run and hide from them. But, these medical bills will catch up to them when they are sent to collections.

When I'm trying to collect large amounts from people, I always bring up a payment plan with them. Some take me up on it, and others do not. The ones that do the payment plan we happily work with, even if it takes a long time to get the account to zero. The ones that ghost us, we do send to collections and then the collection attorney tacks on a crazy amount of money. I warn people of this, but I think they think I'm just threatening, but I'm not, this is true and then they end up owing even more, and further down the rabbit hole they go.

On a personal note......this year we have over $10,000 worth of medical bills (it's been a bad year). All large amounts are on payment plans (if the hospitals are willing to allow me to make payments and not charge me interest, then I will take them up on that), because that's the only way we can manage all these bills and still enjoy some fun in our lives. I have a bank account that money is put into from my DH's check every month for only medical bills - nothing else. I will not allow an account to be late and I will not allow an account to go to collections. I think all the time that we could take one heck of a vacation if we didn't have all these medical bills, but we do, and it is what it is.

People ask me - you still go to WDW, how do you afford that? And I tell them, I have a second job that pays for that. My next trip was booked through Disney and they let you make payments with no interest. This next trip of ours will be paid off by June 2024 and the trip is Dec 2024. Then the second job will pay for gift cards to pay for food and souveniers.

I am very very organized when it comes to finances. I've gone down the financial rabbit hole when I was in my 20s and I will never do that again. I am teaching my DD20 all the tricks to be financially organized - to make sure all your major bills are handled before you have your fun money. It takes a lot of discipline, but it works and that's what matters for us.

ETA........For those that don't know.......you can call hospitals and ask them to put you on a payment plan. I don't think many people know this. This way it is documented that you called, and that you agreed on the monthly rate so your account doesn't go to collections. Just paying $5 a month, like what was mentioned in the original post, isn't going to work - that will catch up to people in a very negative way. So for those that have high bills, please call the billing department on the statement and set up the payment plan - you'll sleep easier at night knowing that this is arranged.

 

[slo]

I also want to add - that for all of us that medical issues causing all these medical bills - my thoughts and prayers are with you - regardless what your ailment is.
Hugs for all of us

 

[mjkacmom]

Oh wow, did I sound like I was judging people who got loans? I'm not at all. I absolutely understand why people get them. I just don't agree with forgiveness. Sure, if my kids (or I) had the loans, I'd take what the government might offer me to get rid of some of the debt. I just don't agree with it. In my particular circle at our particular income level, there are parents who made the choice to do what I did (I also drove around 200K mile cars for a long time), and forego things, and other who provided no college support at all to their children--and that's a choice people make based on what they believe in. I just don't happen to think loans should be "forgiven" on the backs of taxpayers. Not a fan of corporate bailouts either.

I actually don’t agree with loan forgiveness either, because those who are in serious debt due to loans won’t get much of a break with a $10,000 federal forgiveness. It just drives me nuts when people blame the loan crisis on choosing expensive colleges and spending thoughtlessly. Or who say that they managed to work and pay for college themselves (my 4 year OOS degree cost about $15,000 all in). The college loan issue is not due to lattes and pedicures. Unfortunately many parents are unaware at how crazy costs are now, I can “hear” the panic on college parent message boards when the reality sinks in and they start asking about loans.

 

[sk!mom]

Please be careful with this comment as it shows clear ignorance to the modern college student. Most kids don't go to a name brand school. They go to their local state university, which although public, may still be expensive. And they may still rack up a lot of student debt in the process going to this "non-name brand" college.

Bills always come before vacation.

My youngest graduated college in 2018. She had a half tuition scholarship at a state uni and we still paid 80K for that diploma.

She would be saddled with debt had we not been able to pay and it wasn’t a name brand school.

 

[brockash]

I’m a part of a VERY large Disney group on Facebook. A lady posted that she can’t afford to go to WDW because she has cancer and has a lot of bills. She wanted tips on how to afford to go.

I was shocked at the number of people who said not to pay the bills or only $5 a month and go to Disney.

I commented that I’m a cancer survivor and I have a lot of bills, but those get paid first. Dang, I got raked over the coals for that remark.

I’m two years out from a stage 3 diagnosis. I’m healthy right now, but very aware that the cancer can come back at any time. I’m all about living my life to the fullest, but bills still come first.

Am I crazy? Thoughts?

Also, either the author of that post deleted it or it gotten taken down by the mods.

It's always astonishing to me how many ppl. have the mindset that they don't have to responsible for themselves or not pay their bill before spendimg money they really don't have on non-essentials. I have to assume it's a generational thing and they were brought up that way. Wouldn't we all rather live on vacation and not have to pay our bills?

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

I feel like "paying bills" is a bit simplistic as there are different categories of bills. Things like credit cards or car payments are quite different from medical debt that is caused by our completely broken system we have in the US.

I haven't been in the shoes of someone with a terminal diagnosis thankfully so I cannot say what I would do in that situation. I will say that the medical bills can be overwhelming from even a moderate medical issue though so I can see why someone would ignore them and live the remainder of their life how they want.

 

[brockash]

I think folks who didn’t go to college recently or have kids in college really don’t understand the current tuition crisis which has outpaced salaries and increased almost 200% in the last 20 years. Our in state publics are $30,000+ a year with room and board ($15,000 to commute). Nothing fancy or prestigious, those would be $90,000 a year. Two of my kids are almost done paying off loans, they started out paying $1000 a month (good salaries, all of my kids’ chosen professions require a college degree, one needs a doctorate, two require post college exams).

I think it's the mindset. I went to college and have a son in his sr. yr. We both started at community colleges due to the cost. To me, this is what most should be doing...live within your means. Tuition and room/board isn't going to come down when they have plenty of ppl willing to take out large loans to "afford" it. If you have the money, more power to you, but if not, then do what is realistic for you.

 

[Kestryl]

I think it's sad that unlucky people who have huge medical bills- often through no fault of their own, but by sheer bad luck- are told to suck it up and pay their bills because we are apparently incapable of providing care without throwing them into debt.

 

[White Cat]

I’m a part of a VERY large Disney group on Facebook. A lady posted that she can’t afford to go to WDW because she has cancer and has a lot of bills. She wanted tips on how to afford to go.

I was shocked at the number of people who said not to pay the bills or only $5 a month and go to Disney.

I commented that I’m a cancer survivor and I have a lot of bills, but those get paid first. Dang, I got raked over the coals for that remark.

I’m two years out from a stage 3 diagnosis. I’m healthy right now, but very aware that the cancer can come back at any time. I’m all about living my life to the fullest, but bills still come first.

Am I crazy? Thoughts?

Also, either the author of that post deleted it or it gotten taken down by the mods.

She was most likely looking for hand outs.