Paying bills versus going on vacation or other non-essentials

[jimmymc]

I think I would need more info. What type and how far along, plus how long have you been in treatment. If I'm several years into treatment but my cancer is only getting worse, I'm telling those bill collectors some nasty words and going to Disney. But if my treatments are on track, then I'll make it to Disney later.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

I think it's the mindset. I went to college and have a son in his sr. yr. We both started at community colleges due to the cost. To me, this is what most should be doing...live within your means. Tuition and room/board isn't going to come down when they have plenty of ppl willing to take out large loans to "afford" it. If you have the money, more power to you, but if not, then do what is realistic for you.

"Live within your means" seems like the wrong term here. Few 18 year olds can afford even community college at current rates.

 

[LuvOrlando]

About having a terminal diagnosis and bills, this is such a tricky thing.

A dear cousin of mine who always lived a frugal life with extra aside for timeshare for family fun had a long bucket list when he was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer at 52. He was not "of means' however, he did have a very large Life Insurance policy and so he and his wife danced through the end of his life as best as they could. He even made it onto a very long and very extravagant Panama Cruise in the months before passing. To someone who didn't know him well I guess my cousin looked irresponsible but he knew it would all come out in the wash when he passed, he was actually very responsible and left is wife and son cared for.

But you know what, even if Life Insurance wasn't in play it is such an invasion to me to judge a family going through such a thing. My cousin skipped treatments to go on these trips and we talked about it once, he said, "Look, we all know where this is headed and there is only so much I can do so this is my choice," and that was that.

 

[TippyThomas]

I'd go out in a blaze of glory to be honest. The animal shelter will get whatever is left but I'd try to do so many things that I avoid simply because it wouldn't really matter anymore. My blaze of glory would more than likely be less intense than most others so my blaze might be like a sparkler of glory instead.

 

[barkley]

Our in state publics are $30,000+ a year with room and board ($15,000 to commute).

OUCH! glad ours are considerably less-$8346 for a commuter (or non campus dweller) all inclusive (all tution/fees...). choose to live on campus and at minimum add another $15,000.

It just drives me nuts when people blame the loan crisis on choosing expensive colleges and spending thoughtlessly

i don't blame it all on that but i have seen it happen. we live in very close proximity to 1 public and 2 private universities as well as 2 comminity colleges. my oldest has a friend who is complaining endlessly on facebook about her student loan debt but she CHOSE to attend a local private university over the public because (as she explains it)-

'the campus was soooooooooooo much prettier'

'they did'nt charge any fee to apply but the public university did-i figured it would save me money to go there'

she racked up $49,000 in tuition and fees per year BEFORE her on campus housing was factored in (did'nt want to commute the roughly 30 minutes each way/wanted 'the college experience'). she also did a year of college abroad but b/c it was'nt offered for her major she decided to add a second major which also added another year of attendance on the bill.

she can't understand why it's not all being forgiven and why her peers that opted for either the local community college entry path or the public university (for the identical major) are not more sympathetic to her 'plight'.


we have extended family with 40 something's carrying what i consider horrific college debt strictly b/c of personal choice-they chose pricy schools, study abroad, 'educational travel' (summer break travel that earned a few units of college electives credits at insane cost) as well as on campus housing despite in at least one case the family home being a block from the campus.

i've heard it defended as 'personal choice'-i consider it thoughtless spending.

Few 18 year olds can afford even community college at current rates.

i would be interested to know what it costs in other states-here i still see it as very reasonably priced at $5600 per academic year.

 

[Christine]

i would be interested to know what it costs in other states-here i still see it as very reasonably priced at $5600 per academic year.

I'm in Virginia and our CC looks to be right at the same amount per year. I haven't checked in a bit but I believe our state universities run double that, plus most people have to pay for housing.

 

[lifesavacation]

A person in the US can wrack up thousands in medical bills. I won't judge anyone for not paying medical bills on time, and especially someone with cancer who is likely in for months of treatment.

The issue here is access to affordable medical care. Not personal responsibility.

 

[mjkacmom]

OUCH! glad ours are considerably less-$8346 for a commuter (or non campus dweller) all inclusive (all tution/fees...). choose to live on campus and at minimum add another $15,000.


i don't blame it all on that but i have seen it happen. we live in very close proximity to 1 public and 2 private universities as well as 2 comminity colleges. my oldest has a friend who is complaining endlessly on facebook about her student loan debt but she CHOSE to attend a local private university over the public because (as she explains it)-

'the campus was soooooooooooo much prettier'

'they did'nt charge any fee to apply but the public university did-i figured it would save me money to go there'

she racked up $49,000 in tuition and fees per year BEFORE her on campus housing was factored in (did'nt want to commute the roughly 30 minutes each way/wanted 'the college experience'). she also did a year of college abroad but b/c it was'nt offered for her major she decided to add a second major which also added another year of attendance on the bill.

she can't understand why it's not all being forgiven and why her peers that opted for either the local community college entry path or the public university (for the identical major) are not more sympathetic to her 'plight'.


we have extended family with 40 something's carrying what i consider horrific college debt strictly b/c of personal choice-they chose pricy schools, study abroad, 'educational travel' (summer break travel that earned a few units of college electives credits at insane cost) as well as on campus housing despite in at least one case the family home being a block from the campus.

i've heard it defended as 'personal choice'-i consider it thoughtless spending.


i would be interested to know what it costs in other states-here i still see it as very reasonably priced at $5600 per academic year.

It’s $10,000 here, and not very good. ETA NJ, plus due to a very high COL many who struggle aren’t eligible for FA.

 

[NotUrsula]

If I'm terminal and the accounts are in my name alone? Sorry, but I'm not worrying too much about the bills if I'm still able to travel. (I'm a pretty frugal traveller, though; just more comfortable that way, so it wouldn't be an enormous extravaganza.)

I wouldn't blow off any debt that my heirs would be responsible for, but if I was terminal I'd make it a point to go ahead and distribute my assets as much as possible before I died.

PS: To be clear, a person in the US can easily rack up MILLION$ in medical bills, especially for cancer treatment (or speaking of children and debt, a premature birth. I know several people who didn't manage to save for their children's college fund because 16 years later they were still paying off the hospital bills from the child's birth.)

 

[Lord Manhammer]

My youngest graduated college in 2018. She had a half tuition scholarship at a state uni and we still paid 80K for that diploma.

She would be saddled with debt had we not been able to pay and it wasn’t a name brand school.

Trust me I get it. My land grant state Uni is very good (but not at all a Big 10) but not cheap, and that includes my tuition remission. Fortunately I'm in a position where I can pay whatever is left over but I know many parents cannot.

 

[Grace&Carolinesmom]

I think it's the mindset. I went to college and have a son in his sr. yr. We both started at community colleges due to the cost. To me, this is what most should be doing...live within your means. Tuition and room/board isn't going to come down when they have plenty of ppl willing to take out large loans to "afford" it. If you have the money, more power to you, but if not, then do what is realistic for you.

Our family has the same mindset. Oldest DD graduated college in 2020. When she was deciding on a college to attend, we not only toured the colleges and looked at the tuition but also considered the percentage of graduates who were employed full-time in their major/career within one year of graduation. She chose the college based on the tuition cost and employment rate. She had an internship her senior year that turned into a contract job offer before her graduation. She is still working at that company today. She had many friends who decided to go to the "popular" more prestigious college that cost $10K more per year and had a lower rate of employment in the field of study. Three years later and those friends still haven't found jobs in their degree field.

DD starting paying her private student loans 6 months after graduating and will start paying her federal loans this month. She made a budget and didn't choose the fancy apartment to live in or a flashy car to drive. We are very proud of her.


ETA: We made a deal with her that we would pay for her SENIOR year of college and we also kept a savings account for her to use for her first apartment after college to use for rent, security deposit and furniture, etc. This gave her an incentive as I see many parents paying for their children's college and they have no skin in the game because they are going on their parents' dime. These children sometimes don't finish school or choose majors without a strong job market. By her knowing she is footing the bill for 3 years of school, it makes things more serious and encourages responsibility/accountability.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I could never throw caution to the wind and go to Disney with unpaid bills. Never.

My family jokes, the last words on my deathbed would be, “Pay….my…Visa…..”
lol.

Mine would be pay my amex....same idea.

 

[MillauFr]

Please be careful with this comment as it shows clear ignorance to the modern college student. Most kids don't go to a name brand school. They go to their local state university, which although public, may still be expensive. And they may still rack up a lot of student debt in the process going to this "non-name brand" college.

Bills always come before vacation.

Exactly. Sending my daughter to a private college was about the same price as sending her to the University of Washington. Sure it was a few thousand more per year but it seemed like a better value as her freshman classes were 30 people and taught by the professors versus 800 and taught by teaching assistants at our public University.

 

[MillauFr]

I think we've lost a sense of personal responsibility. People buy houses they can't afford and want the government too bail them out. People and companies run up debt through stupid decisions then file bankruptcy rather than face the consequences. Students rack up thousands of dollars of student debt to go to a name brand school then don't want to pay it back. Each generation teaches the next to not be responsible.

I get where you are coming from. We are force fed a daily diet of people making irresponsible choices on the "news". However people were flat out lied to back in 2007/2008 when they took out those mortgages that defaulted. The amount of fraud was rampant.

 

[disney-inspired]

I’m a part of a VERY large Disney group on Facebook. A lady posted that she can’t afford to go to WDW because she has cancer and has a lot of bills. She wanted tips on how to afford to go.

I was shocked at the number of people who said not to pay the bills or only $5 a month and go to Disney.

I commented that I’m a cancer survivor and I have a lot of bills, but those get paid first. Dang, I got raked over the coals for that remark.

I’m two years out from a stage 3 diagnosis. I’m healthy right now, but very aware that the cancer can come back at any time. I’m all about living my life to the fullest, but bills still come first.

Am I crazy? Thoughts?

Also, either the author of that post deleted it or it gotten taken down by the mods.

You are LOGICAL and MATURE.
I'm 3 years post uterine cancer and surgery. This resulted in an autoimmune disease, rheumatoid arthritis, so now my life is doctors, meds and specialists. I make sure all my bills are paid before anything fun happens. Also, I have been working with sinking funds for a couple of years now to save up for vacations or fun stuff. To me, being in debt is more stressful than being broke. Also if anything were to happen to me, I wouldn't want to leave an additional burden on my family. Thankfully, my current life insurance policy covers twice my income so everything would be covered.

Now am I rushing to pay back my student loans? No. I pay the minimum and move along lol. I do make two half payments so I'm helping myself by reducing my interest by smidge.

The author probably deleted because the thread was more stress than it was worth.

 

[SpaceMan5]

ETA........For those that don't know.......you can call hospitals and ask them to put you on a payment plan. I don't think many people know this. This way it is documented that you called, and that you agreed on the monthly rate so your account doesn't go to collections. Just paying $5 a month, like what was mentioned in the original post, isn't going to work - that will catch up to people in a very negative way. So for those that have high bills, please call the billing department on the statement and set up the payment plan - you'll sleep easier at night knowing that this is arranged.

Yes, Yes, and Yes to this advice. Our family of 5 have unfortunately experienced a high number of expensive medicals bills over the last few years, We have always arranged payment plans with the providers and it has helped us out tremendously with our budget.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

"Live within your means" seems like the wrong term here. Few 18 year olds can afford even community college at current rates.

Try 17 year olds because that's the age at which most of them are applying for college anyhow.

 

[SpaceMan5]

Here is my take away in reading all of the posts.

We all have different view points on this subject.

Is really anyone right or wrong in what they would or would not do? No.

It is all based on so many variables. And seeing that ppl are being respectful of other opinions is really cool to see!

For me personally, if I am lucky to have a chance to reflect on my life before passing I will fondly remember my life experiences of traveling to my favorite places with my family- Disneyland, Cannon Beach in OR, doing my favorite things - golfing with my son, brother and friends etc. I won't be thinking of the time I spent in the office.

 

[barkley]

Yes, Yes, and Yes to this advice. Our family of 5 have unfortunately experienced a high number of expensive medicals bills over the last few years, We have always arranged payment plans with the providers and it has helped us out tremendously with our budget.

it's also helpful to see if the medical group a provider or facility is affiliated with offers any kind of financial assistance program. i knew these programs existed but not the extent they are available until my oldest asked me to tag along to a pre-op appointment at the hospital. we were providing all the insurance information, medical power of attorney...and the patient services rep. started talking about the financial assistance program. until handed an actual eligibility chart i had no idea how high an individual's/family's income could be and qualify for a minimum 60%/maximum 100% discount on all services provided by the hospital and all their affiliated providers (this was for non emergent surgery). the kicker is the discount is on whatever the patient's bill is AFTER any insurance they have is applied so copays, deductables, share of cost...at the insurance company's already negotiated price.

i was curious so i looked at the major medical groups in our state (b/c 9 out of 10 providers here are affiliated with one or multiple groups) and most if not all have these programs which currently provide-

60-100% discount for single individuals with incomes between $43,740 and $58,320

families or persons with a spouse have higher limits, as an example-

60-100% discount for a family of 4 with an income between $90,000-$120,000.

 

[FreeTime]

OUCH! glad ours are considerably less-$8346 for a commuter (or non campus dweller) all inclusive (all tution/fees...). choose to live on campus and at minimum add another $15,000.


i don't blame it all on that but i have seen it happen. we live in very close proximity to 1 public and 2 private universities as well as 2 comminity colleges. my oldest has a friend who is complaining endlessly on facebook about her student loan debt but she CHOSE to attend a local private university over the public because (as she explains it)-

'the campus was soooooooooooo much prettier'

'they did'nt charge any fee to apply but the public university did-i figured it would save me money to go there'

she racked up $49,000 in tuition and fees per year BEFORE her on campus housing was factored in (did'nt want to commute the roughly 30 minutes each way/wanted 'the college experience'). she also did a year of college abroad but b/c it was'nt offered for her major she decided to add a second major which also added another year of attendance on the bill.

she can't understand why it's not all being forgiven and why her peers that opted for either the local community college entry path or the public university (for the identical major) are not more sympathetic to her 'plight'.


we have extended family with 40 something's carrying what i consider horrific college debt strictly b/c of personal choice-they chose pricy schools, study abroad, 'educational travel' (summer break travel that earned a few units of college electives credits at insane cost) as well as on campus housing despite in at least one case the family home being a block from the campus.

i've heard it defended as 'personal choice'-i consider it thoughtless spending.


i would be interested to know what it costs in other states-here i still see it as very reasonably priced at $5600 per academic year.

Not sure if the community college cost, but my DD attended our large state university by starting at the regional campus. Regional academic year was $7000. Fortunately we got 1/2 of that due to being employed at the main campus. She only had to attend the main campus, higher price, for the last two quarters. She worked and was able to cover it all.