Parents, Stop Giving In To 'Picky Eaters'!

[joviroxx]

Do you have children? I once told my pediatrician that ds11 (when he was younger) wouldn't eat more than 6 items. She said "so what?" I've had kids who will eat ANYTHING, and kids who have very sensitive palates (initially - the older they get, the more they'll eat - they do have to try everything). I've learned the hard way not to force food (nothing like a little vomit at the table).

Sounds like my house. My DS eats everything, my DD could survive on spaghetti only. My husband suffers because of it, I just let it go. My pediatrician told me not to make eating and food an issue. He is of the belief that it is the worst thing you can do.

They are both growing, they are both healthy, that's what matters to me. If I have to make a separate meal for her every now and again, I do it. But then again, they both know, no dinner, no sweets or snacks. But I refuse to make food a point of contention.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Nor do I - "forcing" is different than "catering".. The food was placed in front of us.. We could eat it - or not.. However, if we chose not to, mom wasn't going to hop up from the table and make something else for us..

Barring the previously mentioned medical issues, a "picky eater" would be one who sits down to a meal consisting of 5 or 6 items and insists there is nothing there that they "like"..

I agree. Like my DH's cousin... she basically got absolutely NO real nutrients (well, except cheese and fortified bread, and chicken if you count nugget meat as real chicken...)

At family BBQ's, a pizza place had to be called for her "pizza", because she couldn't "starve".

At weddings, a special order had to be made, because "chicken dish" or "pasta dish" wouldn't work for her. Can the banquet hall prepare cheese bread? No? Well, can you order her special pie so she can eat?

I think OP is talking about THESE kinds of kids (and parents).

 

[lizandjason]

While I don't necessarily disagree with you, your opinion is really not worth a hill of beans to me. If you become a parent, I can almost guarantee that someday you will look back at this moment and laugh at yourself.

Funny, I don't remember asking what you thought of my opinion...but thanks for sharing yours!

 

[clutter]

I had the worlds pickiest eater! It turned out he had sensory issues and even the Occupational Therapist told me trying to get him to eat something was like asking us to eat worms! Since he was a baby in the high chair he would look at food, cover his mouth and shiver like it was the grossest thing he had ever seen! He's 11 yrs old now and mostly lives on Ensure. He has mild autism so I'm glad I didn't force the issue with him. I would have lost anyway!

Same here, except my dd tried to climb out of the high chair to get away from most foods. I did finally figure out that it was a color and textural thing, and worked as best as I could within those constraints. (My dd's sitter amended the statement "a child will eat what's in front of them if they're hungry enough" to add "except Clutter's dd!" And yes, we've had conversations today about the fact that she'd rather go hungry than put certain things in her mouth.)

By working with her, and having some discussions with her about her fear of foods as she aged, she did finally start eating different things. We love going out to eat at Disney, as we both think of it as a place where she started eating more variety. Although she's still not a big veggie or fruit eater, she is one of the least picky eaters her age (13), and loves a variety of flavors and cuisines. However, the former fish sticks, chicken nugget, pizza kid now hates fast food and prefers freshly made things.

So, you know, you're not entirely right. Sometimes a picky eater that is catered to evolves to a healthy eater!

 

[overlyspoiled4sure]

I'm another older (65) poster here & I see valid points from everyone. We're all entitled to our opinion. Besides, circumstances often dictate how things will be or won't be.

For me, though, food wasn't a battle I was willing to wage. When I was growing up, I was the "oldest" & had to set the darn example for my younger brothers. Gosh, how I hated dinnertime, especialy when mom served icky liver & onions. Ewwwwwwww! I'd cut the meat in tiny pieces & swallow it whole with mashed potatoes & a gulp of milk. That darn meat was so dry & icky! So I refused to do to my kids what my mom did to us. She made us try several bites too. I hated that!


When I had my own family, I refused to be a short order cook & did offer a variety of foods which were eaten willingly when it was babyfood. As the kids grew I still offered a variety & if they didn't want to eat, so be it. They either went hungry or had a bowl of cereal. Like another mom, I did try & make things that satisfied most of us.

Same rule applied when my DD & her kids moved back in after a nasty disgusting divorce. DGS is a wonderful eater & was more than willing to be my guinea pig when I tried new recipes. DH is great that way too. DGD wasn't so willing but now she's a junior in high school she's taking cooking classes. What a difference! Now they have their own place so it's back to me & DH.

My kids now are doing well & trying new stuff. DS better than DD though, but that's OK. We all survived.

 

[mickeyboat]

Funny, I don't remember asking what you thought of my opinion...but thanks for sharing yours!

Actually, If you will kindly refer back to your first post on this thread, I think you did ask for my opinion.

I've seen so many parents post questions on these boards like, 'my two year old only eats pancakes and cheese pizza, where can we find these at Disney?'

(Excuse me while I hoist myself on this soapbox...)
Parents who give in to their kids' 'picky' food habits are doing their kids an incredible disservice. Healthy eating habits are formed in the first few years of life, and when kids are only given 'kids foods' like fried chicken fingers and pizza, guess how they'll continue to eat as they age?

I'm sure many parents will come back at me saying, 'but my Johnny won't eat any vegetables, and I don't want him to STARVE'! Guess what, Johnny won't starve. He'll eat what you give him. And when he's older, he'll thank you for loving him enough to set standards for his well-being. You are the parent. Do your job, stay in control.

I'd love your opinions!

(Bolding mine)

 

[diznygirl]

Thanks for all your responses! Just so you all know, I fully respect everyone's opinions, whether they agree with me or not. It's interesting to see all of the perspectives.

I don't have kids, and I don't think that my lack of kids makes what I'm saying any less valid.It's just common sense! YOU are the parent...and it is your responsibility to make sure your kids are doing healthy things...I don't care whether they whine, cry, scream or tell you they hate you a million times. They are children, and they need guidance. Letting your kid do whatever he wants will lead to a slew of problems in the future.

Help me out...are you saying that because I'm not a parent, I'm uneducated on the subject and my opinion doesn't count? No hard feelings if this is your opinion, but I'd like to know why you think I'm wrong.

I'll give you two kids to feed on a daily basis and sit back and watch the "Common Sense" happen.





Seriously, my kids ate everything when they were younger. Then they got picky. And now they are not so much. And they aren't even teens yet. I expect more changes to come. THAT'S common sense.

Reality with children is so much different than just watching from the outside with your cats on your lap.

 

[LuvLDM]

What about the moms on this thread who agree with the OP? Their opinions are valid-- even though they are the exact same-- but the OP's aren't?

That doesn't make a bit of sense.

 

[nmmom95]

I've learned the hard way not to force food (nothing like a little vomit at the table).

I thought my son was the only one who did that!

 

[Chelley00]

How many kids do you have?

I'm not the OP, but I have 4. Not all parents buy into the "Oh my kids are just picky"

I laugh when I hear about picky eaters. My kids tried to be picky. It doesn't happen here. You eat what you get or you wait until the next meal. I don't cater, and I see so many parents make "their" dinner and dinner for their kids.

Our kids are told they have to try at least 3 bites (not nibbles of a food) This alleviates them just "I don't like it" from just looking at something. 99% of the time they eat those 3 bites, and then finish it. If they try those 3 bites and still hate it, they get a pass and can pick something else to eat, but I don't cater first.

 

[lizandjason]

Reality with children is so much different than just watching from the outside with your cats on your lap.[/QUOTE]

OOOhhh!! Snarky! My cats are sad now.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

This topic always intrigues me. On many levels I completely agree with the OP. Oh- and I am a parent so I get the whole kid thing btw.
While I think that some kids do have issues with food (sensory etc.) I do not believe that any child can only eat chicken nuggets, hots dogs and pizza. Sorry but that is just catering to nonsense. That has nothing to do with being picky. Yes- there are foods that each of my children do not like. I never force them to eat things they do not like. They do however have to try everything. I don't allow them to just look at something and say "yuck."

Having a palate is one thing. Refusing to eat anything but junk is a preference. Sorry but you never hear people whining about their picky eater only wanting to eat apples, fresh veggies and lean meat. The alleged picky eater only wants fast food junk. That imo is what the OP was trying to say - although I could be wrong. On that level I do agree.

 

[Minnie]

What I don't get OP is why this topic bothers you

If you don't like the thread topic.... there are many other topics to read

I'll give you the side of an adult that happens to be a picky eater.... I've tried various foods over the years and have always had issues - finally being diagnosed with a food allergy that is very difficult to manage. Sometimes your body is telling you something Interesting though that my dad will eat almost anything - or would before his diet was restricted due to health reasons... My mom is more selective but not nearly to the issues I've had....

As the parent of a picky eater... this is not the battle that I choose to fight. His Ped says his food choices are just fine - he's just more selective than average.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I knew everything before I had kids too.

Sorry, but I didn't battle over food with my kids. I wasn't going to allow it to be a big deal in our lives. Their weight is just fine, thank you very much, and picky phases came and went.

This is me. I knew how I was going to raise my dd long before she entered my life. Well - she had to go and change my plan.

My dd is a "picky" eater. I don't cater to her in that I run around like a chicken with its head cut off to make sure she has just the exact thing. I do respect her choices. We agree on menu items. She has been know to pick a reciepe, shop for everything, cook it, and serve it to the extended family and not eat any of it.

In our house you do not know if you like or don't like something until you have tried it a few times. Does that mean she or I have to eat the entire serving of it each time? No but we do have to try a few bites each time. Only after those few times can a certain food be put on an "I don't like list". Which does have to be revisted at a later date.

Notice I said both of us. She likes several things that I do not. I let her try to convince me just like she lets me try to convince her.

She is healthy and in a low percentage for her weight. Her Doctor and I are on the same page and agree that she is getting what she needs.

Now that she is older she is widening her world a bit because of friends.

Any food that she has been "forced" to eat has pretty much remained on the I don't like list. Forcing foods does not work. Respecting her choices while educating on proper diet and new foods does. Sometimes it takes 50 times of offering something before she likes it.

There are so many more battles I prefer to "fight".

 

[LilSongbird]

As a parent who has struggled with a child who will not eat I was immediately offended by this post. It has to be one of the most frustrating things I have dealt with. Of course I want my child to eat well. What parent doesn't?? Even while vacationing I make sure I have the foods my daughter does eat available to me. We are leaving for a stay at GF in 3 weeks so I set up an order with Garden Grocer. Letting my little girl go hungry is not an option in my book

 

[Mouse House Mama]

This is me. I knew how I was going to raise my dd long before she entered my life. Well - she had to go and change my plan.

My dd is a "picky" eater. I don't cater to her in that I run around like a chicken with its head cut off to make sure she has just the exact thing. I do respect her choices. We agree on menu items. She has been know to pick a reciepe, shop for everything, cook it, and serve it to the extended family and not eat any of it.

In our house you do not know if you like or don't like something until you have tried it a few times. Does that mean she or I have to eat the entire serving of it each time? No but we do have to try a few bites each time. Only after those few times can a certain food be put on an "I don't like list". Which does have to be revisted at a later date.

Notice I said both of us. She likes several things that I do not. I let her try to convince me just like she lets me try to convince her.

She is healthy and in a low percentage for her weight. Her Doctor and I are on the same page and agree that she is getting what she needs.

Now that she is older she is widening her world a bit because of friends.

Any food that she has been "forced" to eat has pretty much remained on the I don't like list. Forcing foods does not work. Respecting her choices while educating on proper diet and new foods does. Sometimes it takes 50 times of offering something before she likes it.

There are so many more battles I prefer to "fight".

This is not what I call picky eating. This is what I call learning what you like etc. To me picky eating is when parents insiste that snowy will only eat McDonalds or hot dogs and NOTHING else. That imo is ridiculous.

 

[luvmy3]

I have 3 kids, one of them is pretty picky and while I don't cater to him, I do not force him to eat something I know he doesn't like and I will make an alternative meal for him using the components of the dinner I am serving everyone else.
I was a very pick eater when I was a child, and there was no alternative for me, I was supposed to eat what was cooked and there was no argument. The truth is I hid food in my napkin, under my plate and even snuck it into the bathroom to flush down the toilet. I wasn't going to make my kid resort to that just because his tastes happen to be different from mine.

 

[tonilea]

One of the biggest things I have learned as a parent is don't make judgement calls about other parents. It WILL come back to bit you in the butt! Example: I couldn't imagine how a parent could not medicate their child. *snort* DS, until he learned to swallow pills was impossible to medicate. Oh, I could force it down him, but I was rewarded by being puked on! I would put him in the bathtub, wrap a towel around him and make him take the meds.... In short order, I was cleaning puke off both of us! For meds we relied on tylenol supposatories and injections for antibiotics.


I do have a particular eater, but I am okay with that. He loves most veggies and fruits. He absolutely refuses fruit juices, fruit flavored candies, fruit leathers, fruit gummies, etc. No Koolaid, no cake, not many types of candy or sweets.

 

[marcyinPA]

Sorry, I have to disagree. My DS12 was the absolute pickiest eater. If I tried to give him something new, he would throw up. This happened for YEARS! I let it go, and now, he is a great eater. He will try anything, loves seafood, eats veggies. He doesn't eat much fruit, but he drinks juice, so I'm not expecting scurvy anytime soon. I kept offering, but didn't push, and eventually he came around. You get tired of cleaning up puke after awhile.

My DS10= same. He ate a handful of foods when he was younger, and I had to make everything plain. No bbq sauce, no red sauce, plain white rice, etc. If I forced him to eat something like baked ziti, he gagged and threw up.

He's still picky, but less picky. He'll eat salad and green beans, carrots(raw) and corn. He eats all meats, and loves fish, and shellfish. He's not a fan of red sauce or tomato based products, and he really dislikes soup of any kind. He LOVES olives and marinated artichoke hearts! I make him take a courtesy bite of everything now, but he can make a meal of the things he likes and make himself a pb&j if he wants.

I have a feeling OP doesn't have children. Until you've walked a mile in a parents shoes....

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

This is not what I call picky eating. This is what I call learning what you like etc. To me picky eating is when parents insiste that snowy will only eat McDonalds or hot dogs and NOTHING else. That imo is ridiculous.