Parents, Stop Giving In To 'Picky Eaters'!

[Luv Bunnies]

I have a very picky kid and hate it when people assume I'm just "giving in" to him. He also has Asperger's which comes along with sensory issues. He has a real problem with the feeling and smell of certain foods. When I tried putting him on solid foods as a baby, he would start gagging and it would scare the heck out of me. I can't force him to eat anything and if I withhold what he will eat, his anxiety will just intensify and we would have lots of other problems on our hands. I choose not to fight the food battle.

When people say their kids are picky, please don't assume it's because their parents are allowing it and it could be easily dealt with. There may be all kinds of reasons why kids won't eat a variety of foods and it's not right to judge their parents for it.

 

[SaraJayne]

You must not have children...LOL I said the same thing before my son was born, and guess what......he ate great until he turned about 4! Would eat ANYTHING I gave him, then one day...nothing. I hate it when people assume things.

Yup, same here. My DD is healthy, she's growing, has gorgeous skin and hair (as my Facebook friends can confirm) and takes a vitamin every day.

It just isn't a battle I'm willing to fight ~ I don't make anything special for her. If she wants something different, she can make it.

And I didn't see you answer how many children you have.

 

[Tink888]

I've seen so many parents post questions on these boards like, 'my two year old only eats pancakes and cheese pizza, where can we find these at Disney?'

(Excuse me while I hoist myself on this soapbox...)
Parents who give in to their kids' 'picky' food habits are doing their kids an incredible disservice. Healthy eating habits are formed in the first few years of life, and when kids are only given 'kids foods' like fried chicken fingers and pizza, guess how they'll continue to eat as they age?

I'm sure many parents will come back at me saying, 'but my Johnny won't eat any vegetables, and I don't want him to STARVE'! Guess what, Johnny won't starve. He'll eat what you give him. And when he's older, he'll thank you for loving him enough to set standards for his well-being. You are the parent. Do your job, stay in control.

I'd love your opinions!

I think in theory it sounds great and kids should be exposed to all sorts of foods as early as possible.

But I also think that kids go through food phases and while a child might only want to eat chicken fingers (or strawberries for that matter) for awhile, allowing that isn't going to condone your child to a lifelong limited diet of those foods.

I also don't believe in forcing a child to eat something they don't want to. Not only does it lead to bad habits but it can backfire.....like the time my Mom forced me to eat oatmeal as a child and I wound up throwing up at the table.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You wont' like my opinion.

I used to be like you--but now I have hte unfortunate circumstance of having such a picky eater. I didn't make him that way. He sort of came that way.

I don't fret that he will starve to death--but made a vow when he was three to increase his exposure to more foods including fruits and veggies.

It will be a long haul--but given my track record with the other two--I can safely assume that he's just going to be more challenged in that area.

Case in point--my son could discern "fruit" from a "veggie" when he was an infant. You could put a bowl of mashed peaches next to a bowl of sweet potatoes--and not say a word of what was what. He'd willfully try that sweet potato (and willingly eat more of it)--but he refused that peach. He refused ALL fruit. Most bizarre thing ever. What is more, force feeding it, just meant that it would be on his forever, not eating it list.

He would try any veggie of any color without a peep. He would scowl at all fruits. He had absolutely no way of knowing which was which. Very bizarre.

At this point, our training has begun and it starts with having the options on his plate. I don't make him eat it, YET. Just getting him aclimated to their presence so that he doesn't freak.

So far so good. His Godparents this weekend--on the last meal of the weekened (they watched our kids while DH and I went ot NYC), got my son to try some broccoloi and some onion. Most impressive--but it took the whole weekend before he was even willing to taste it....and it required hot dog bribes in between.

Baby steps for my picky eater. And I am not ashamed to stand up for him. He also has speech issues as well, so no idea if there is any correlation. *I would have started many months earlier, but due to my own medical issues and food intolerances (both consumption and cooking)--it became a matter of survival for us. I was eating only donuts for 2 weeks straight at one point. I still lost way, still got sick lots and the last thing on my mind was getting my son to eat a green bean or strawberry.

However--I find it tacky to post a dis about other posters for whom you may be entirely clueless as to why their child is that way.

I used to think poorly of my sister and her only child in much the same way as you. And then my son turned out just like her.

They waited until age 4 and are doing similar things that I am doing with my son. I started sooner b/c I knew that starving wasn't a problem. IT just took them longer to come to that realization. I would have started sooner had it not been for my own personal medical issues .

What a child is able or willing to eat--isn't always due to faulty parenting.

 

[hereyago]

She was also smart in that she taught us to cook at a young age.

This is what I have done with dd especially with her getting older.

 

[C.Ann]

I have a very picky kid and hate it when people assume I'm just "giving in" to him. He also has Asperger's which comes along with sensory issues. He has a real problem with the feeling and smell of certain foods..

This is an entirely different situation.. A far cry from "Suzy will only eat mac 'n cheese.."

 

[minniebeth]

OP, I agree with you for the most part, but once the habits are already formed, when going to WDW or anywhere on vacation, I don't blame parents for wanting to accomodate their kids' palattes (sp?) for several reasons. One, I wouldn't want to pay WDW prices for food to be wasted, and two, hungry kids who are fed are happier kids and happy kids don't only make their parents happy but everyone else around them too!

I do accomodate my kid's likes and dislikes as long as they are eating well-balanced meals and are trying new things regularly.

 

[si-am]

Careful there, OP. You aren't allowed to have opinions on stuff like this if you don't have kids.

For what it's worth, I agree with you. I can understand that some kids are stubborn, but I have many friends (and family members) who just completely give in to it and cater to it. I have a 12 year old niece who pretty much only eats mac n' cheese. It's just not healthy at all.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Thanks for all your responses! Just so you all know, I fully respect everyone's opinions, whether they agree with me or not. It's interesting to see all of the perspectives.

I don't have kids, and I don't think that my lack of kids makes what I'm saying any less valid.It's just common sense! YOU are the parent...and it is your responsibility to make sure your kids are doing healthy things...I don't care whether they whine, cry, scream or tell you they hate you a million times. They are children, and they need guidance. Letting your kid do whatever he wants will lead to a slew of problems in the future.

Actually--it kind of does.

 

[lizandjason]

This is not true at all and is only yours personal opinion. I used to be a kid who would only eat pizza chicken tenders and hotdogs as was my brother. I don't like vegetables at all now but I still eat them. It doesn't matter what you force your kids to do they will do what they want when they are old enough. Whether it's eating dressing or whatever after a certain age you have no control. It's up to the child.

Respectfully, this kind of thinking is one of the reasons why we have an obesity epidemic in this country. While not 100% true all of the time, I am basing my statement on sound evidence that kids who are raised with healthy eating habits continue these habits as adults, and we all know that healthy eating is a key component to disease prevention and overall better self-being.

 

[si-am]

Actually--it kind of does.

What about the moms on this thread who agree with the OP? Their opinions are valid-- even though they are the exact same-- but the OP's aren't?

That doesn't make a bit of sense.

 

[lizandjason]

Actually--it kind of does.

Help me out...are you saying that because I'm not a parent, I'm uneducated on the subject and my opinion doesn't count? No hard feelings if this is your opinion, but I'd like to know why you think I'm wrong.

 

[LuvLDM]

This is an entirely different situation.. A far cry from "Suzy will only eat mac 'n cheese.."

I agree.
Also, I think there is huge difference between being considerate of your childs food preferences while preparing meals and catering to "pickiness".

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Respectfully, this kind of thinking is one of the reasons why we have an obesity epidemic in this country. While not 100% true all of the time, I am basing my statement on sound evidence that kids who are raised with healthy eating habits continue these habits as adults, and we all know that healthy eating is a key component to disease prevention and overall better self-being.

You are preaching something quite different here.

Noone doubts that healthy eating habits are best.

But you are preaching in your postings that bad parents created these problems. You are blind to the various things that might have occurred to influence how a "picky" eater was formed.

 

[lizandjason]

When I was a kid...and there were 6 of us kids in the family, we were allowed to "not like" only one thing on the table at any given meal. We had to eat the protein, but we could not like any one thing on the table and not eat that. This was a challenge as Mom made lots of veggies, and we could only skip one! Brussel sprout night was always a challenge.....

She was also smart in that she taught us to cook at a young age. This gave us some ownership in the meals that were served. My sister and I (one year apart) would peruse our kid friendly recipe books, make our grocery list and then she would help us shop. We then cooked the meal..with Mom supervising from the safety of the living room. We found out first hand that preparing a meal that our family ate made us feel really good. My brothers also had their cooking night and we all loved it, especially the dessert that we always made as part of the meal. It was fun to deny our parents dessert when they chose to "not like" more than one thing on the plate. To this day, everyone in our family eats ( and cooks) well.

Linda

Awesome, Linda!! I wish every family did this. Your mom sounds like a smart lady, and an WONDERFUL mom. I love to hear when families cook together!

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

I have a very picky kid and hate it when people assume I'm just "giving in" to him. He also has Asperger's which comes along with sensory issues. He has a real problem with the feeling and smell of certain foods. When I tried putting him on solid foods as a baby, he would start gagging and it would scare the heck out of me. I can't force him to eat anything and if I withhold what he will eat, his anxiety will just intensify and we would have lots of other problems on our hands. I choose not to fight the food battle.

When people say their kids are picky, please don't assume it's because their parents are allowing it and it could be easily dealt with. There may be all kinds of reasons why kids won't eat a variety of foods and it's not right to judge their parents for it.

My child has sensory issues as well...so I do cater to him, or he won't eat. Don't tell me that if he is hungry enough he will eat anything...he won't. We tried that...his wt fell from 25th perc to 0.

I think "in general' that you shouldn't cater to picky kids, but there are kids with medical issues that are the exception. I don't cater to my older DS...he eats what we eat, and isn't picky at all.

 

[iwrbnd]

I had the worlds pickiest eater! It turned out he had sensory issues and even the Occupational Therapist told me trying to get him to eat something was like asking us to eat worms! Since he was a baby in the high chair he would look at food, cover his mouth and shiver like it was the grossest thing he had ever seen! He's 11 yrs old now and mostly lives on Ensure. He has mild autism so I'm glad I didn't force the issue with him. I would have lost anyway!

 

[lizandjason]

You are preaching something quite different here.

Noone doubts that healthy eating habits are best.

But you are preaching in your postings that bad parents created these problems. You are blind to the various things that might have occurred to influence how a "picky" eater was formed.

Sorry if I came across too harsh to all the parents out there. I can understand some of the defensiveness. I can't imagine anyone on the DisBoards to be a BAD parent. After all, you're taking your kids to WDW, and that's one of the coolest things you can do as a family!

Every family is different, and there may be circumstances that are unique. I just think that we need to try harder as a society in general to raise our youth as properly as possible.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Help me out...are you saying that because I'm not a parent, I'm uneducated on the subject and my opinion doesn't count? No hard feelings if this is your opinion, but I'd like to know why you think I'm wrong.

Your opinion is invalid for a variety of reasons. Your theme is to stop "giving in".

Being educated on the fact that fruits and veggies are important provide you no insight as to the difficulties some parents may have had.

I was forced to eat eggplant TWICE a week for months.

The only reason it stopped was b/c the abusive grandparent who prepared that delicacy was scared from our home (long story--but "abusive" is the clue!).

For months I suffered that dish b/c my "whining" would not be listened to. I didn't like it-but more than not liking it--it stung my tongue...like a bee. The cooked insides.. Very painful. But I was only seen as insolent and forced to consume that dish.

I did learn a way to eat it--but had I been listened to instead of commanded, it could have been understood.

But someone like you--who is educated on the healthy aspects of such a dish but lack parenting skills due to inexperience...

would probably just see me as a whiny bratty kid versus someone who quite possibly just truly didn't like eggplant.

I can't stand coffee either. And I won't eat liver.

And milk....disgusting stuff--you can't make me drink it. ( I stopped drinking it while still in elementary school when I realized that I Didn't have to drink something so yucky!)

I'm a believer in the "no thank you serving"--one of the few positive aspects of my step-mother. Annoying, but gosh darn useful to learn respect to try new things and not be bratty. (though on the forced milk, I'd soil a glass and dump the milk and lie that I drank it to her b/c I coudln't stand milk and still don't to do this day--it isn't even a necessary "food" to consume).

In any case--based on your posting and judgement....you have a lot to learn.

 

[MushyMushy]

I knew everything before I had kids too.

Sorry, but I didn't battle over food with my kids. I wasn't going to allow it to be a big deal in our lives. Their weight is just fine, thank you very much, and picky phases came and went.