Parents - PLEASE be reasonable!

[DisneyPhD]

I agree naps are not for everyone, it can even make things worse. Once our DD slept the whole way back to the room, then promply woke up when we got there. There was no putting her down. Lucky for us it was a nice day and we had a lovley swim. We normally leave it open to going back for a nap if the mood calls for it, and don't if we find we don't need one. Also if you travel in value season the parks often close so early if we take nap it is too hard to get back before the park closes at 7:00. Better to take a few spins on the TTA instead.

I have to admit that when at WDW I see a few stressed out families and kids. Sometimes it maybe the parents fault (sometimes not, as !@#$% pointed out, you have no idea what every day life is like with someone until you are there.) Every person has seen examples of bad parenting (they are out there) but more often then not it isn't.

I see it everywhere I go, not just WDW. The local zoo, parks, malls, any place familes go, it isn't just wdw. I do think the stress of having this be a once in a life time trip does add to it for some people. Many friends have gone with that attitude and when I asked them how they liked it when they got home, they didn't. I wonder why? Often they didn't stay on property either, that seems to help reduced stress and enjoy the whole trip more.

maddi, that sounds like a lovley gesture. I know many a cm has managed to save an overstressed family by distraction. My DD is so shy she wouldn't hid behind me (one reason she doesn't have meltdown in puplic places.) but would talk about it later.

 

[blueeyez]

It is not always the parents fault for these meltdowns. I don't know why, but when we're on vacation I feel like my kids will try to push our buttons. Taking naps did not work for us either. The only thing that saved us were Nestle ice cream sandwich cookies. Sitting on a bench in the shade with one of those seemed to cure everything!

 

[poohguys]

We will be at WDW in 2 weeks. DH and I have been there many times so we don't need to run arround to see everything. We will go at DS4's pace. He tends to be a little hyper, is always on the go from the minute he wakes up until he goes to sleep at night. He is a good kid, but I think that his mind is moving as fast as he is! Sometimes we have to repeat things and or hold him by the shoulder to get him to look at you so you can get him to listen to what you are saying. I worry about him sometimes because I know that people think that he is much older than he is, and expect him to "behave" better. (He is as big as many 6 or 7 yr olds.) I think that all kids react differently to the excitement and new environment. Keep in mind that the child having the meltdown may not be as old as you think he/she is. We are hoping to have a great trip. We will take as many breaks a day as we need to. We will not get up super early, will probably get to the parks around 10 or 11 each day. We are on the dining plan so have a TS meal each day-a nice break. Usually I can tell when my DS has had it and we will go back to the hotel for a swim break. (he has not napped in almost 2 yrs)

12 more days!!!!

 

[Honeybehr1]

So if our child has a melt down am I suppose to take him back to the hotel for a nap? Is Everyone? Man WDW would be so empty. Perhaps that is the way to lower the crowd rating for the parks.

Your in Disney. Lighten up. Some kids have a melt down - some adults do as well. Heck some adults have a meltdown about kids having a meltdown. Vicious cycle.

 

[!@#$%]

Blueeyez.. Bingo! Only its the micky ears bars for us. An ice cream on a stick is often a CURE ALL!!! All meltdowns seem to fade away if you find an ice cream bar, cup of cold water, and a parkbench in the shade! Shoot, that even works for us BIGGER kids!!! The ice cream cookie was the ONLY food item I really wanted on my last trip that I never seemed to manage to get. Dont know how it happened really, too stuffed from the other meals on the dining plan probably. We all agreed while discussing it on the trip home that we all wanted one, and somehow we all managed to NOT get one! How'd that happen? Please lie to me and tell me it wasnt that good so I will know I didnt miss much.

 

[shaylahc]

I am seeing WAY too many generalizations in this thread. Certain posters think that THEIR way of doing the parks is the best way/only way. I have 4 kids ages 8 and under, and yes, my kids do have meltdowns, and yes, we do take the naps, and no, we don't do "commando" park touring. I shouldn't have to "fake" enjoying the same things the OP enjoys just to have a good time at the park And no I don't work so I can afford a big SUV (we don't even have an SUV), in fact I don't work at all so I can spend my every waking moment with my precious little angels 'cause God forbid they should grow up and not feel that they aren't the most important people on the face of the earth....which includes the annual trip to Disneyworld and mom and dad faking smiles at every turn when it's 100 degrees outside and the baby screaming, because we wouldn't want them to have anything but perfect memories from their time at Disney

Sorry, I was being snotty, but seriously....I think it's mean to judge people on how they decide to "do" their vacations, how their children do or don't act, whether or not parents work or don't work, etc. The fact is there are about as many ways to have a great Disney vacation as there are individual personalities. Sometimes meltdowns cannot be avoided, children can be unpredictable and it may not have anything to do with whether or not their parents are taking the afternoon nap break or not, or whether their mothers work or not, or whether their trip to Disney is an annual event or a once in a lifetime trip. My kids are well behaved, we do try and go to Disney every year, but sometimes problems do crop up. Last year my 2 month old son ruined our trip by screaming every single second we were there, and I fail to see that there was ANYTHING anyone could have done to change that. When I take my kids on vacation I expect them to behave as they would anywhere else, and I certainly don't put on a fake mommy fascade so my kids can have a fantasy style vacation. We do the things we all enjoy as a family and try and have a great time.

There is no "right" way to have a Disney vacation, IMHO.

 

[DisneyPhD]

We will be at WDW in 2 weeks. DH and I have been there many times so we don't need to run arround to see everything. We will go at DS4's pace. He tends to be a little hyper, is always on the go from the minute he wakes up until he goes to sleep at night. He is a good kid, but I think that his mind is moving as fast as he is! Sometimes we have to repeat things and or hold him by the shoulder to get him to look at you so you can get him to listen to what you are saying. I worry about him sometimes because I know that people think that he is much older than he is, and expect him to "behave" better. (He is as big as many 6 or 7 yr olds.) I think that all kids react differently to the excitement and new environment. Keep in mind that the child having the meltdown may not be as old as you think he/she is. We are hoping to have a great trip. We will take as many breaks a day as we need to. We will not get up super early, will probably get to the parks around 10 or 11 each day. We are on the dining plan so have a TS meal each day-a nice break. Usually I can tell when my DS has had it and we will go back to the hotel for a swim break. (he has not napped in almost 2 yrs)

12 more days!!!!

Poohguys, don't let this thread scare you. You will have a good time (there will be some stressful moments, but that is parenthood, it isn't like you didn't know that. ) It sounds like you are prepared and ready for a great vacation. Your son sounds very sweet and he should have a great time. My kids always are small so they look younger then they are, and people think they are advanced. Being big can be a challenge some times for just the reasons you say. People expect them to act older then their age, now that just isn't fair.

Everyone who has every been out in puplic has seen parents doing "questionable jobs" or kids that we are happy aren't us, but judging them isn't going to help anyone. Support and encourgementis the best way to help other parents. As wonderful as it is to be a parent, it ain't easy all the time!

shaylahc, I agree with you about everything, expect
"there is no right way to do Disney." I really think there are many right ways. They are different for every person, every age and every situation. They also require constant adjustment. Just like life. We do know how to do it right for our family, but it changes as we do. The best plans don't awalys work and you need to not let other people bother you. (because you WILL find them in places with lots of other people like WDW.) Having a systm down really helps us enjoy the trip.
Back when it was just the 2 of us we would go to what ever park that bus came 1st. That also worked well for us then!

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

We will be at WDW in 2 weeks. DH and I have been there many times so we don't need to run arround to see everything. We will go at DS4's pace. He tends to be a little hyper, is always on the go from the minute he wakes up until he goes to sleep at night. He is a good kid, but I think that his mind is moving as fast as he is! Sometimes we have to repeat things and or hold him by the shoulder to get him to look at you so you can get him to listen to what you are saying. I worry about him sometimes because I know that people think that he is much older than he is, and expect him to "behave" better. (He is as big as many 6 or 7 yr olds.) I think that all kids react differently to the excitement and new environment. Keep in mind that the child having the meltdown may not be as old as you think he/she is. We are hoping to have a great trip. We will take as many breaks a day as we need to. We will not get up super early, will probably get to the parks around 10 or 11 each day. We are on the dining plan so have a TS meal each day-a nice break. Usually I can tell when my DS has had it and we will go back to the hotel for a swim break. (he has not napped in almost 2 yrs)

12 more days!!!!

I think your son and my daughter must be clones! You could have so easily be describing my DD. She's a real livewire! She's also very tall for her age (she's 5 tomorrow) and wears age 6-7 clothes. As you say this means that people look at her and expect her to behave like a six or seven year old but above the neck she's just like any other four/five year old.

Personally we don't leave the parks until we're ready to go home for the day - DD will sleep anywhere if she needs to - and slept a couple of times on our last trip while DH and I took it in turns to ride and to chill in the shade!

I would not dream of judging people I don't know in the way some others on here seem to feel they have the right to - so if you're there in November and a blond, English 'seven' year old in a stroller has a 'meltdown', keep your opinions to yourself and move on - There's nothing to see here!!!!!

 

[HaleyB]

When I saw the title of this thread I was thinking it was going to be about the parents that act like brats. You know the ones that yell at their kids or tell them they are dumb and stupid (not in a joking sort of way). It kills me to see it. Also husbands and wives being rude and disrispectful to each other, sad.

Other peoples kids melting down never bothers me. If I am in a position to help I try (like in line for the bathroom, most adults can hold it better than a 3 year old).

I agree that it is not wise to push kids too far... but for some kids it comes on rather suddenly.

 

[barkley]

I think your son and my daughter must be clones! You could have so easily be describing my DD. She's a real livewire! She's also very tall for her age (she's 5 tomorrow) and wears age 6-7 clothes. As you say this means that people look at her and expect her to behave like a six or seven year old but above the neck she's just like any other four/five year old.

Personally we don't leave the parks until we're ready to go home for the day - DD will sleep anywhere if she needs to - and slept a couple of times on our last trip while DH and I took it in turns to ride and to chill in the shade!

I would not dream of judging people I don't know in the way some others on here seem to feel they have the right to - so if you're there in November and a blond, English 'seven' year old in a stroller has a 'meltdown', keep your opinions to yourself and move on - There's nothing to see here!!!!!

we will be there in early november-i'll be the people watching strawberry blond parked in the shadiest spot if can find

 

[*Fantasia*]

I only read the OP's post and a few posts after that.

I'm not even a child and I need my mid-day break!! I get a little grouchy and irritated when the heat and the crowds collide. We go early in the morning to the park, then back to our hotel around noon, then if we want to, we go back out to the park around 6pm.

I need my mid-day nap! While I nap, they play in the room. Then later, we go for a swim. How refreshing... I feel better and the children got their energy back... everyone is happy again!

 

[marcyinPA]

This is why we bring a stroller for my 6 year old! When he's tired, he'll ride and usually fall asleep. We can either keep going, or take a break...whatever we feel like.

My oldest gets tired too, (who wouldn't!) and we take a break when he needs it. When he says "I'm tired"...then we call it quits!

Seems like common sense to me!

 

[GeauxTigger]

My first trip to WDW was when I was nine, second at 15. Both included hotels offsite, so there were no naps! However, all other trips were onsite and included afternoon naps, whether we had kids with us or not. Heck, like someone said above, I get cranky if I don't get my nap . Another trip is planned for the week between Christmas and New Year's (I KNOW, I know), and I will be taking naps again .

 

[can'twait]

!@#$% - I LOVE that relaxing guy from the planning dvd!

 

[Laura22]

PLEASE NO FLAMES

Don't flame and then expect no flames in return!

up at 6am, quick breakfast in the room, dressed and out the door to get to X park for Early Magic Hours, or Character Breakfast; then agenda to do ALL the rides in the parks, eat quick meals so as not to miss specific shows, go ALL DAY in the heat, humidity, noise, and stimulation, eat dinner in a nice restaurant (with a child / children who have not napped or had any of their "own" time), go back to the park for more stimulation, sugared snacks, and noise, as well as heat, watch fireworks that are on much later than these kids' normal bedtimes, then stand in large crowds waiting for busses to take them back to the hotel, where some parents then let them swim at 11pm or feed them yet another high-calorie, low nutritional meal, and ALL THE TIME WONDER - WHY IS MY KID SO ILL-MANNERED?!!! WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE GIVING ME / MY FAMILY DIRTY LOOKS?

You are right there - if a family is using that type of schedule then their kids are going to be miserable. But sometimes it takes trial and error to learn. I did a "too packed" trip last year with 2 toddlers and although they handled it well, it was just too much. But I had to experience it to know. It's hard to understand the exhaustion of Disney when you only see it on paper, it doesn't really set in until you're in the middle of it.

Parents - PLEASE - do what we did. Get to the park early. Heck, my son wakes up at 7am which leaves plenty of time to get there for the opening. Go on some rides. But mid-day, when the heat and noise is taking it's toll, GO BACK TO YOUR HOTEL TO HAVE A SWIM AND NAP!!!!

Here comes the flame - just because that works for YOU does not mean it works for everyone. Remember a second ago I said our trip last year was just "too much" - well that was because I had scheduled a nap break back at the hotel for every day, per others advice. It just about killed us to do that. It was utterly exhasting to walk all the way back to the park entrance, walk back to our car, load up the strollers, put the kids in the carseats, drive back to the resort, unload the kids, walk a quarter mile up to our room at Pop Century, etc. By the time we'd get there the kids had already napped in the car, so we just sat there and twiddled our thumbs. An hour later we'd pack everything up, put the kids back in their carseats and go through all the hassle of driving back to the park, parking, going through turnstiles, and walking all the way back to where we left off earlier. By the time we got back to where we were, we were wiped out and exhausted from taking our "break". Doing it day after day made us miserable. So for our next Disney vacation we didn't bother with midday breaks. The kids just napped in the strollers. Everyone was SOOO much happier this way. So again I say, just because you happen to like going back in the afternoon, doesn't mean you should insist that EVERY parent does it.

Trust me - it's not fun for the kids if all they want to do is have some down time while you are insisting on dressing the little princesses up (villains would be the appropriate attire in my opinion for the parents!) just so you, as a parent, can relive some mis-translated memory of your own childhood.

From what I've read in various Disney forums, usually it's the KIDS who insist on wearing the princess stuff. The parents would prefer they just wear comfortable clothes.


And in conclusion, just because you see whiney kids doesn't mean that Disneyworld is making them whiney, so don't be so quick to judge. I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old and even when we are sitting at home and relaxing we can't go 30 minutes without at least meltdown over something stupid (Abby took my crayons! Dylan hit me!). If my kids have about 10-15 meltdowns a day at home, I'm sure they will have them at Disney too. That dosen't mean they are being pushed too far, it just means they are kids!

 

[faindrops27]

It really kills me when poeople like the OP. Talk about screaming children. After all you are talking about WDW. What did you really expect? Disney caters to family, yes, but for the most part children. If you have a problem with screaming children. I would not suggest you return. Any "reasonable" person would know children cry.It is not something someone can control That's how they communicate thier wants, and or needs. It surprises me that you have a child, and have a problem with crying children. My daughter 1, is being weaned. She does not like it one bit. So she will cry.
I will try to comfort her, but she will cry. Is she wrong no. Am, I wrong, or as you say an unreasonable parent, no. There are numerous reason why children cry. But, to suggest what parents do on thier vacation, with thier children. Just plain nerve.

 

[taximomfor4]

I have somehow managed to miss seeing these misbehaving children and frazzled parents. Maybe I was too busy watching my own children having a wonderful time?

One other thing I have never seen is someone giving someone else dirty looks. As for myself when I see a child melting down I always give the family a friendly smile to let them know I understand.

It can't be the happiest place on earth unless you want it to be!

What she (?) said!

Actually, my first WDW trip in 2001 was just me and oldest dd (8). She melted down constantly. Often before our FIRST ride/attraction. She has a sensory integration problem ...

Sometimes kids get cranky/have fits for other reasons besides commando touring! Heck, mine have fits at home when bored, when coming down with colds, when they don't like the limits I have set, etc. I, too, am one of the parents who will give small, encouraging smiles to parents I see who are dealing with children in meltdowns or tantrums.

ON our family trips, we do NOT return to the hotel mid-day. And our kids don't have more fits than usual at all. We get to the parks around opening, and throughout the day find quiet places to sit and relax. We head back to the hotel for our kids normal bedtime. Now that oldest dd is older, we have no problems doing it this way.

Beth

 

[DisneyPhD]

Don't flame and then expect no flames in return!

Hi Lauraa22,

That should be the new goldern rule of internet message boards!

 

[VSL]

This time while we are at disney I'm taking wedding bubbles($3.94) at Wal-mart, miniture airplanes that you can put together (10/$1.00) and jingle bell bracelets. If we see a child having a melt down, with parents permission, we give them a gift from Tinkerbell. I attached little cards with a lime green ribbon that say 'spreading the magic" with Tinks pix on it. Bubbles are always a hit! It seems to distract them and make them forget why they are having the meltdown. I know it sounds silly but it does work for those we have shared with.

I think this is a wonderful idea, but please, no bubbles!
So many children (well, people in general) out there are allergic to the bubble mixture and have bad reactions if one pops on them, so maybe blowing them in the middle of WDW isn't such a great idea.
Without the bubbles though - very thoughtful of you, and I've no doubt that the parents appreciated it. (Who wouldn't appreciate someone stepping in and just calming the situation?)


Back ON-topic..
Look, I'm sure we can all agree on a few things:
- Kids have meltdowns, regardless of where they are
- Kids have meltdowns, regardless of who their parents are
- There are some wacko parents in WDW, and the world in general (I'm talking about the cruel kind who berate their children and abuse them)
- Wacko parents and kid meltdowns don't necessarily go hand in hand
- Most parents in WDW are wonderful, but yes, their kids will have meltdowns too
- We all have meltdowns sometimes.

 

[Stimpy]

That's just about the stupidest thing I've yet to read here since I joined not so long ago.

I was trying to think of some way to address what you said, but I can't because it's just too ridiculous. If you want to turn this board into a flamewar of SAHM stereotypes and WOHM stereotypes, I'll gladly jump in. I've got plenty of judgements I could throw your way, too.

I'm, however, assuming that no one on the board wants to go there.

Why do we even have to bring SAHM and WOHM into the picture? I think we have all seen both SAHM and WOHM that seem to have bad parenting skills. Just because a parent stays at home it doesn't make them a good parent and just because someone goes to work does not make them a bad parent.

I do understand your anger at the post you are referring to and I agree it is ridiculous. It seems you are way too hostile about it though. I realize it is an over-generalization that the OP could have said in a better way. Obviously not every parent is like that! But it does happen, after working many years in law enforcement, I've worked with the kids that it has happened too. (And it goes both ways, I've also worked with kids with SAHM)

Please do not try to turn this into a SAHM & WOHM debate. One of those threads will come up around here soon enough....they always do