Parents - PLEASE be reasonable!

[DawnaJean]

...when you could tell from the conversation that dinner time was never observed at home, these kids were picked up at daycare, driven through McDs, and home to bed...talk about some cranky kids, and down right nasty parents !!!

I really think you could have made your point without including the last bit.
There are overstimulated, overtired, overwhelmed children and ADULTS of ALL sorts of families. Even the most well-mannered children can get a bit flustered by the change in excitement / routine.

Dawna

 

[allie&mattsmom]

We have always done the up at the parks early, back after lunch to swim relax. And sometimes it just doesn't matter. Sometimes kids will be kids and have meltdowns. Hey, my 8 y/o DS had a few himself last month at Disney. Believe me, he doesn't get away with it, but nonetheless, he had some public meltdowns. Kids get tired, hot, they don't sleep as well as they do when they are at home. DS had his mostly when things didn't go exactly his own way. For example every afternoon we'd try to get a FP for Test Track and every afternoon they were gone. The last day this happened he proceeded to sulk, stomp, and whine his way through Epcot, which didn't fly with me. So when I started in on him, along came the major public meltdown. I was embarassed but heh, it happens. I hope no one was looking at me like I was a terrible parent b/c I honestly was trying to get him to stop, I wasn't ignoring it. I guess my point is no matter how hard you try, they are just kids and there is a lot of stimulation and other factors, ie the heat, going on here and meltdowns and tantrums will happen. Most of the time I feel more sorry for the partents of the child throwing the fit. Heck, I'm 41 and sometimes when I'm at Disney I want to meltdown .

 

[CleveRocks]

I have a feeling many of these parents haven't been w/ their children for a week or two at a time since the child was a month old...therefore they have no idea how to read the signs of exhaustion.

you could tell from the conversation that dinner time was never observed at home, these kids were picked up at daycare, driven through McDs, and home to bed...talk about some cranky kids, and down right nasty parents !!!

What an obnoxious and prejudiced rant that was!!! I could go on, but my own rant would get even more obnoxious, so ....

-- Eric

 

[beattyfamily]

We have always done the up at the parks early, back after lunch to swim relax. And sometimes it just doesn't matter. Sometimes kids will be kids and have meltdowns. Hey, my 8 y/o DS had a few himself last month at Disney. Believe me, he doesn't get away with it, but nonetheless, he had some public meltdowns. Kids get tired, hot, they don't sleep as well as they do when they are at home. DS had his mostly when things didn't go exactly his own way. For example every afternoon we'd try to get a FP for Test Track and every afternoon they were gone. The last day this happened he proceeded to sulk, stomp, and whine his way through Epcot, which didn't fly with me. So when I started in on him, along came the major public meltdown. I was embarassed but heh, it happens. I hope no one was looking at me like I was a terrible parent b/c I honestly was trying to get him to stop, I wasn't ignoring it. I guess my point is no matter how hard you try, they are just kids and there is a lot of stimulation and other factors, ie the heat, going on here and meltdowns and tantrums will happen. Most of the time I feel more sorry for the partents of the child throwing the fit. Heck, I'm 41 and sometimes when I'm at Disney I want to meltdown .

ITA! Sometimes melt downs happen no matter how hard you try to avoid them, from kids and adults alike.

 

[jonestavern]

We had the same observations and we follow the same plan as you do and we have an amazing time.

Jean &Chris(topher)

 

[!@#$%]

No one likes the OPs last 2 paragraphs, but I agree somewhat with it. Working with the public, in their homes, I see everything. Good and bad. The fact is there REALLY ARE people out there like that. LOTS of them, ESPECIALLY in the upper incomes! The mom has her career & the dad has his too. They both work the 40-50 hour week, but many work MANY more hours than that especially with all the "at home laptop" work. They are working 60-80 hours a week. They send the kids off to school, then to the sitters, then to bed. They simply dont have time for their children. They would rather pay someone to watch them, so they can make the big bucks. Its not just the upper incomes though, its everyone. They have the time to work to pay for that expensive SUV or that new car, but the children take the backseat. They each have their goals in life, and the children dont enter those goals till they graduate and move out. Call me cruel, but I see it all the time. Im not calling anyone here like that, NOT POINTING ANY FINGERS, but there ARE those out there who do. To ignore it is being nieve. To say that everyone out there who has a screaming child is that way would be totally wrong, but I dont think thats what the OP was saying. It gets back to the big question... one you hear about with homeschooling topics. Where are your priorities? A new Volvo costs ...what... $50,000? That money comes from INCOME, and that income usually comes from WORK. Sure there are lots out there who make BIG money, and can afford it, its the ones who cant who are the topics here. They want to keep up with the neighbors. Same 0-turn mower, same SUV, same perfect yard, same name brand clothes. And they are missing the most important thing, their own families lives.
As for me, I like my OLD vehicles. They are paid for. I like my home, its bizarre and beautiful, and its ALMOST paid for. Im basically debt free. I spend all my extra time with my family. They are what I am working for. Vacations are VERY high on my priorities, but I couldnt take so many (if any at all) if I had an SUV payment.
I took 4 wonderful trips to WDW last year. That dont include the trips to the parks, playgrounds, or the homeschool trips. Most people just dont realize that happiness doesnt come from having the best of everything, it comes from love and quality time. I find it funny that in over half the childrens movies theres a typical dad who doesnt spend time with his son because of his work, and the son feels left out, yet when someone here posts that same thing, you flame them. Did you flame hollywood for insinuating there are dads out there like that?

 

[metivier]

LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN!

This sums up the best advice in this thread.

When parents either ignore or forget to follow this sage advice, THAT'S when things can get "ugly".

As for our experience, we do the best we can to factor in "LISTEN TO THE CHILDREN" time. We do manage to do lots of TS lunches and dinners, but we do not "overplan". Personally, I don't do well with my OWN life "overplanned", forget about including my children in the mix!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

No flames from me--we don't stay at the parks all day for that type of response from the kids...if they've gotten to that point...we probably have too. So we call it a day when we do realize that everyone is tired. It has been a while since we've even attempted to stay and watch the fireworks.

 

[TikiGoddess]

I think when you try to get into parenting issues, you'll always stir the pot. It's hard to see the exact same behavior in your own child that you see in others' kids. I know, I have 2 of my own. I think as a nation we could be a little more understanding of each other. It's like being on a plane w/a screaming baby and people being irritated with the mother. I'm sure the mother is enjoying the screaming and would love for the baby to continue to scream until the plane lands (sarcasm). Sometimes kids melt down the first 5 minutes you're there....they're kids, that makes them unpredictable. You never know, the crying baby could have an ear infection, the child could be autistic as the other poster noted or they could just be having a bad day. Have you ever acted in a manner that you'd be embarrassed to see broadcast? I know I have. I also know my kids sometimes act ways in public they know they're not allowed to act. That doesn't mean I condone it. I think even if we took 3 hour naps each day, they would have meltdowns. Give people a break and realize not everyone is going to do things the way you do...and some of the things your children do might be things I wouldn't let my children do. It's all about perspective.

 

[Manda]

I have a feeling many of these parents haven't been w/ their children for a week or two at a time since the child was a month old...therefore they have no idea how to read the signs of exhaustion. I'm sorry, a family vacation means mom and dad are going to miss some things...if your child is up early it cannot stay up after 9 pm to see fireworks...if your child still needs a 2 hour afternoon nap then it needs the nap...WDW or no WDW...most children need some goof-off, unstimulated time...if that means sitting in the room while they watch "Jungle Book" for the 200th time...accept it, and know that dinner will be much more pleasant. Your child doesn't realize how much each minute costs...all they understand is that they're exhausted, overstimulated, and that mom and dad are being unreasonable. DH and I saw this on the repo cruise...parents bound and determined that their children were going to sit through dinner every night...when you could tell from the conversation that dinner time was never observed at home, these kids were picked up at daycare, driven through McDs, and home to bed...talk about some cranky kids, and down right nasty parents !!!

That's just about the stupidest thing I've yet to read here since I joined not so long ago.

I was trying to think of some way to address what you said, but I can't because it's just too ridiculous. If you want to turn this board into a flamewar of SAHM stereotypes and WOHM stereotypes, I'll gladly jump in. I've got plenty of judgements I could throw your way, too.

I'm, however, assuming that no one on the board wants to go there.

 

[DisneyPhD]

We have young kids, but we had been to WDW at least a half dozen times as a couple before we had kids. (so we had that experince.) Our kids now have been many time (the oldest 4 years old has been over a half dozen times also). We know how to do WDW, with or with out kids. Our kids always have a great time and hardly ever cry or are unhappy while there.

I think much of the problem comes from parents who take their kids only because they feel it is their middle or upperclass duty to "Do WDW with your kids". They feel, "We are only doing this once so we better get it all done and you better enjoy every second of it because it is costing me, and I am not doing this for me." They would never dreamof going with out kids, or even to have fun themselves. We are DVC members and go at least once to 3 times a year (depending if we get AP or not) and we know if we don't do it this time, their will be others. You can't do it all, or even you all your favorites every trip, so we know and look forward to next time.

 

[lucincia]

They have the time to work to pay for that expensive SUV or that new car, but the children take the backseat.

And with a child seat too. I thought this is the law?

Hahahaha. Ok, I slay myself sometime

 

[allie&mattsmom]

We have young kids, but we had been to WDW at least a half dozen times as a couple before we had kids. (so we had that experince.) Our kids now have been many time (the oldest 4 years old has been over a half dozen times also). We know how to do WDW, with or with out kids. Our kids always have a great time and hardly ever cry or are unhappy while there.

I think much of the problem comes from parents who take their kids only because they feel it is their middle or upperclass duty to "Do WDW with your kids". They feel, "We are only doing this once so we better get it all done and you better enjoy every second of it because it is costing me, and I am not doing this for me." They would never dreamof going with out kids, or even to have fun themselves. We are DVC members and go at least once to 3 times a year (depending if we get AP or not) and we know if we don't do it this time, their will be others. You can't do it all, or even you all your favorites every trip, so we know and look forward to next time.

Sorry but I have to disagree here. That's wonderful that you "know how to do WDW & that your kids have a great time & hardly ever cry or are unhappy while there". You're lucky. Our kids are 8 & 10 and have been more times than I can count but yet, they occasionally still have melt downs. This is b/c they are children. As I stated in my previous post, we don't let them get away with these meltdowns however it does happen. And I also stated that we always do the breaks in the afternoons and kindof let our kids lead us on what it is exactly we'll be doing that particular day because, like you, we've seen it/done it many times before and so there's no "we've got to fit it all in mentality going on". I guess my point I'm trying to make here is it's not always the "diehard" parents that have to squeeze it all in that have children that might have an occasional melt down. My 8 y/0 DS had a couple of "meltdowns" last month at Disney and ya know what I would bet my bottom dollar that he and DD will probably each have at least one good one next month. And then I may join them!

 

[DisneyPhD]

Sorry but I have to disagree here. That's wonderful that you "know how to do WDW & that your kids have a great time & hardly ever cry or are unhappy while there". You're lucky. Our kids are 8 & 10 and have been more times than I can count but yet, they occasionally still have melt downs. This is b/c they are children. As I stated in my previous post, we don't let them get away with these meltdowns however it does happen. And I also stated that we always do the breaks in the afternoons and kindof let our kids lead us on what it is exactly we'll be doing that particular day because, like you, we've seen it/done it many times before and so there's no "we've got to fit it all in mentality going on". I guess my point I'm trying to make here is it's not always the "diehard" parents that have to squeeze it all in that have children that might have an occasional melt down. My 8 y/0 DS had a couple of "meltdowns" last month at Disney and ya know what I would bet my bottom dollar that he and DD will probably each have at least one good one next month. And then I may join them!

As it turns out my kids just aren't big melt down kids (at least not in puplic, my oldest saves her tanturms for the saftey of home .) I don't mean that they are perfect or that kids who do have melt downs have bad parents. I don't really see what in my post you disagree with, just that your kids are different then mine. (of course now that I have said it my kids will develop a tendency for meltdowns while at WDW. )

 

[staci]

I agree with the OP that SOME families will push too hard to get through a vacation at WDW without missing a thing.

Some other families simply do not know how to control their children, whether at home, the grocery store, or WDW.

But I tend to think that MOST families fall into the category that I place mine. I love my son. He comes first always. For a trip anywhere (restaurant, grocery store, etc), I think about him. Has he had a nap? Do we need a diaper change? Is he thirsty? Is he hungry? How is his mood? Because of my planning, 90% of the time my ds is an angel in public. I am honestly very proud. BUT........... kids are unpredictable. There have been a handful of instances in his short little life where I just wanted to walk away and leave him in the store. Once, he saw a toy left on the shelf in the bread isle at SuperWalMart, and thought he was gonna die without it. (We left without the toy). Once, a very happy meal turned horrible when he choked on a small peice of a chicken finger, gagged, and threw up all over, then proceeded to BAWL that we had to leave and throw away his food that he had vomitted on.

The truth is, as much as you plan as a parent, small children WILL have tantrums. It is part of their development. And inevitably, in a vacation destination that caters to children, tantrums will occur freqently, due to the amount of children. I have no doubt that my lovely little angel will give me a good one at some point in our vacation. The difference is, when he does it locally I have the option of removing him from the situation immediately, as the car is usually within about 3 walking minutes away. At WDW, families do not have such an exit option in place, and must work through it.

So, as a parent, I sit here, analyzing what portions of the trip could potentially trigger a tantrum. I will plan ahead, follow his lead, and try to make this an enjoyable experience for all involved. However, at that inevitable moment when he melts down, PLEASE dont glare at me and my son. He is being a toddler, I am being the best parent I can, and we BOTH wish this were over much more than you do!

 

[allie&mattsmom]

As it turns out my kids just aren't big melt down kids (at least not in puplic, my oldest saves her tanturms for the saftey of home .) I don't mean that they are perfect or that kids who do have melt downs have bad parents. I don't really see what in my post you disagree with, just that your kids are different then mine. (of course now that I have said it my kids will develop a tendency for meltdowns while at WDW. )

I'm not trying to start a debate, but let me try to explain how I disagree. First, below is one part I don't agree with:

"I think much of the problem comes from parents who take their kids only because they feel it is their middle or upperclass duty to "Do WDW with your kids". They feel, "We are only doing this once so we better get it all done and you better enjoy every second of it because it is costing me, and I am not doing this for me." They would never dreamof going with out kids, or even to have fun themselves. We are DVC members and go at least once to 3 times a year (depending if we get AP or not) and we know if we don't do it this time, their will be others. You can't do it all, or even you all your favorites every trip, so we know and look forward to next time.[/QUOTE]"

My second post above explains why I feel this way.

and this next part of your post quoted below, I disagree with (as explained in my above post also) because basically no matter how many times a family has been to Disney and they may have their Disney stategies down pat, kids can and will sometimes throw you a curve ball. Kids will be kids and will have an occasional meltdown.

"We have young kids, but we had been to WDW at least a half dozen times as a couple before we had kids. (so we had that experince.) Our kids now have been many time (the oldest 4 years old has been over a half dozen times also). We know how to do WDW, with or with out kids. Our kids always have a great time and hardly ever cry or are unhappy while there"

Again, not trying to start anything here. Just sharing my experiences and
opinions.

 

[TENIA66]

No flames from me but I have to disagree. This doesn't work for everyone. If you are staying off-site during off-season (like us) that is just not going to work. When my kids are tired, we find a shady spot and eat some ice cream,and have a long rest until they're ready to continue.

My kids are 2, 6, and 8 and they've never had tantrums and such at WDW but I agree with your main point.

I agree completely with you. We've been a few times, there's three kids now, and our kids have been anywhere from 1 to 11, and the afternoon break is a great bust for us. We're much better off starting with emh, riding the big demand rides, then watching a few shows, cooling off, also relaxing along the parade route 45 minutes to 1 hour before they start. also, my kids, up to 8 rode in the double rental stroller at times through the day. I do the running for the fast passes. i will tell you that with the fast passes we do have to take the time to relax while in the park. before, just standing in line did it for us.

our one and only trip back to the room resulted in fighting and whining because we were leaving without doing everything, crying and whining at the hotel because they couldn't swim(ear infection risk following tubes), then constant whining about when were we going to leave to to back to the park and what would we do first.

without the trip back to the room, we do quite nicely from park open until about ten.

 

[marathonmommy]

I have somehow managed to miss seeing these misbehaving children and frazzled parents. Maybe I was too busy watching my own children having a wonderful time?

One other thing I have never seen is someone giving someone else dirty looks. As for myself when I see a child melting down I always give the family a friendly smile to let them know I understand.

It can't be the happiest place on earth unless you want it to be!

You are so right! I noticed a few overtired children/parents during out last trip, but it's par for the course at WDW. If you are going to let other people's children bother you so much so as not to have a good time, WDW may not be the vacation spot for you. WDW is loaded with kids, and of course parents - not all of them behave the way you might hope they would. I try to monitor my own children's behavior and give appropriate rest times, etc. But kids are unpredictable . . . I hope you don't let others spoil your trip next time! Here's some pixie dust and best wishes for a peaceful next trip!

 

[!@#$%]

That's just about the stupidest thing I've yet to read here since I joined not so long ago.

I was trying to think of some way to address what you said, but I can't because it's just too ridiculous. If you want to turn this board into a flamewar of SAHM stereotypes and WOHM stereotypes, I'll gladly jump in. I've got plenty of judgements I could throw your way, too.

I'm, however, assuming that no one on the board wants to go there.

Manda... Who died and made YOU God? We ALL have opinions, or we wouldnt be here. Perhaps you should learn a lil better how to get along and stop being so harsh. Its his/her opinion, and he/she made it without singling any one person out, yet you attacked them directly. Looks like YOU are the one trying to start a flamewar. Sheesh. It wasnt that big of a deal.

 

[maddi]

Does anyone do as we do when visiting a park/zoo/etc? We do take our breaks as much for our DD as for ourselves. When she has a melt down the entire family can have one!! But something we have done since our oldest was little was take meltdown gifts for all meltdowns. This time while we are at disney I'm taking wedding bubbles($3.94) at Wal-mart, miniture airplanes that you can put together (10/$1.00) and jingle bell bracelets. If we see a child having a melt down, with parents permission, we give them a gift from Tinkerbell. I attached little cards with a lime green ribbon that say 'spreading the magic" with Tinks pix on it. Bubbles are always a hit! It seems to distract them and make them forget why they are having the meltdown. I know it sounds silly but it does work for those we have shared with.