Over the Top Prom invites- Is this now a thing?

[java]

A couple years ago my son helped a friend spell out Prom? In a girl's driveway with votives. They nearly burned her house down. But she said yes. My son worked in a coffee shop at the time and asked a girl that came in all the time by getting some fancy ice tea glass and a rose and bringing it to her with her order.

The grand idea problem is that if the girl doesn't want to go she feels way pressured to. My dd(junior) had that happen. But she said no anyway. I felt bad for the poor kid that asked so publicly.

 

[Viva Las Disney]

We did things like this at my high school way back in 1992, very rarely did anyone just ask a girl to a dance, it was all about being creative and having fun.

I asked out a good friend (who was my high school crush) by sending her on a scavenger hunt, it started with a rose with a clue attached that lead to the next location which had another rose with a card with another clue, etc. Her best friend was in on it so she couldn't get stumped but I sent them all over town and she had a half dozen roses when she was done and the final clue revealed it was me asking. She replied with a riddle and a message I had to decode that gave me a number for yes and a number for no that then said to check my room, when I opened the door there were literally hundreds of ribbons hanging from my ceiling and I had to count them to find my answer. I must have counted those ribbons a half dozen times before I was confidant the answer was yes. I left the ribbons up for weeks, it was like being in a jungle. We ended up dating all through high school.

Both my question and her answer probably cost $10 total in supplies but it was a lot of fun.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I know a lot of people feel bad for the boys (and I do) but I feel bad for the girls too. It seems like the "promposals" are being equated to how much the guy likes you (ie. the more complex the more he cares). Which isn't true - but try telling an emotional 16 year old that, especially if her friends a had "instagramable" "promposals" and she didn't. I feel like these things set people up for disappointment when the real proposal isn't half as fancy.

I feel sorry for both the boys and the girls too. Then again, I have always disliked the idea of public wedding proposals too. I think no one should be put on the spot like that for an answer with an audience waiting.

 

[JanaDee]

This is one of the most ridiculous things I have heard. All that just for prom? If I would ask a girl to prom and she said "no it has to be done with fan fair", I would be looking for another date or go stag with a bunch of friends.

 

[cabanafrau]

It's catching on here. My friend's son just made a promposal this past weekend. He had already asked the girl and her response was, where's my promposal. It was a clever, but simple public promposal w/ a poster board.

I'm so not the target audience for this -- and wouldn't have been even back in my teen years. Will be interesting because I have a HS sophomore so I'm sure by next year this will be a big deal in our school & this DD will probably get her heart set on one.

 

[okeydokey]

Thank goodness this is NOT a trend where I live.

 

[Art 1]

It's probably about attention more than anything.

 

[Katy Belle]

It is a big thing here, with all of the formal dances. DS18 was a Senior last year and his girlfriend specifically said she did NOT want a big, elaborate, public invitation. That made it easy. She still wanted to be invited. Nice that she made it all so clear So he invited her in private, with flowers. Perfect for who she was.

In November we came home from having dinner out, to find a girl in front of our house with a poster board, and she was covered in blood She was here to invite DS16 to her Winter Formal. It was the night of the first Walking Dead for the season, and they both watch that show. So she was dressed up like a zombie, and the poster said, "I came back from the Dead to ask you to Winter Formal." Then she had Yes and No boxes for him to check. He was not dating this girl and had never even thought of it as a possibility that she would ask him. Poor kid was in shock. Breathing super hard before he got out of our car...saying "what should I do?!" I told him to take a deep breathe, make a decision, and go out there and see her! He checked yes and they had a nice time at the dance. She is a year older, our HS is divided into 9-10, 11-12, so this dance was for her school not his.

DS16s Snowball Dance was in January. So a few weeks after going to Winter Formal with Zombie Girl, it was time for him to invite someone to Snowball! He invited a different girl. He and this girl had gone on a few dates and she was not surprised that he invited her. She said yes. He went to her house with a vintage vinyl Credence Clearwater Revival Album. He put a note on the front of it that said, "It would ROCK if you went to Snowball with me." She LOVED it. He took a red rose too. Not public, but certainly instagramable.

I've seen PROM? on cars, lockers, and windows of houses lately. Tis the season!

 

[joviroxx]

They are a thing here and these promposals are ridiculous. What ever happened to just picking up the phone and calling? This need to one-up and make a show of everything is just inane. It becomes about HOW you were asked and not just that you were asked. These poor boys.

I mean really, especially with kids that have been dating for while, they are STILL expected to do this promposal.. really? Isn't is just understood you are going together? My DS and his GF are rather lowkey but I did hear about the "competition" between girls one-upping each other with their promposals.

DH said that any guy ever did that for DD, he'd be like.. what is wrong with this kid? LOL..

 

[Andtototoo]

Ridiculous. What are the expectations going to be for a marriage proposal?

 

[marcyinPA]

They are done here too, but they are usually tailored to the person on the receiving end. My DS asked his girlfriend to senior prom by baking those brownies that had peanut butter and Oreos layered in them. She had "pinned" them on Pinterest, so he baked them and wrote PROM?? on them. Cute

My younger DS asked a girl to the 8th grade dance by typing "will you go to the 8th grade dance with me?" in French and then wrapping a box of Warheads with it. She loves Warheads, and the theme of the dance was "A Night in Paris". She had to google translate because they both took Spanish

Swimmers ask their dates in the pool, theatre kids have asked on stage after the final bow of the Spring show, etc.

 

[MrsDuck]

I teach high school and have seen a fair share of over-the-top prom "proposals" - very impressive yet kinda odd

I teach in a very wealthy area of South Florida so a lot of these kids have $$ to spend and they spare no expense when it comes to prom!

 

[bethy]

They are totally a trend here. How nice a promposal you get often correlates with how pretty or desirable a date you are. It's a status symbol.

 

[DWGal210]

I feel sorry for both the boys and the girls too. Then again, I have always disliked the idea of public wedding proposals too. I think no one should be put on the spot like that for an answer with an audience waiting.

I completely agree. When my brother's at sports games and someone does this, he always shouts "Say No!". I would never want a public proposal like that, but to each his own.

I'm so glad this wasn't in vogue when I was in high school (and it wasn't that long ago, about 15 years). For my junior prom, I asked a good friend of mine; for senior prom, I went with my best guy friend and he's gay, so no pressure there. I had the best time, both years, as there as no pressure to make it into some big, grandiose, seminal moment in my life. It was just a fun dance.

 

[Christine]

Last year when my DS was a senior, he wasn't thrilled about going to prom. But his "friend" that he said since 4th grade wanted to go and had not been asked yet. He kind of felt sorry for her (and they were/are good friends to boot) so he asked her to go.

She then came back and criticized him from not doing some sort of promposal. I just couldn't believe it. In the end, they went together, but he basically had to tell her to get over herself.

 

[nugov2]

This really isn't anything new, when I was in High School which wasn't super long ago [mid 2000's], asking someone to prom was super elaborate and extremely detailed. Same with Homecoming.

Yep, it has been around for a long time here too. Way before FB and social media. Do I think it should cost a ton of money or result in a break up(those kids a shallow and it is better to be rid of someone like that early IMO)? No, but it is cute. It is no different than making something into a big deal for your kids(christmas, easter etc). Why can't we just let kids have fun and enjoy something without making it a bigger deal than it is. I mean to be "thankful my dd or ds isn't involved in that type of thing" is a little extreme. It isn't drugs and alcohol and when I was teaching(even though I was elementary the district was smaller and we heard a lot of cute stories) the kids had a lot of fun with it...both the planner and the receiver.

ETA: that around here it is established couples mostly(like someone else posted) not every person being asked to prom.

 

[joviroxx]

ETA: that around here it is established couples mostly(like someone else posted) not every person being asked to prom.

You see, to me , that is even worse. At least if a guy is going all out to try and convince a girl to go with him, to win a girl over, I can at least give points for trying, but established couples? Really? They already know they are going together, what is the need for the public show?

 

[nugov2]

You see, to me , that is even worse. At least if a guy is going all out to try and convince a girl to go with him, to win a girl over, I can at least give points for trying, but established couples? Really? They already know they are going together, what is the need for the public show?

It is fun. What is the point in telling kids there a santa, it is fun for the parents. Whats the point in a lot of things other than it is fun. Like I said is it worth spending tons of money you don't have or only doing it b/c some nasty girl is forcing you too...nope, but that isn't the case around here in most cases from the stories I hear. There are worse things teenagers do that are more worthy of criticism than this IMO. And not all involve public spectacles.

 

[luvsJack]

I agree. It is just fun. Most of the ones done here do not cost a lot of money, some don't cost anything. Just thought and time. And it makes prom fun for them.

Even if they are an established couple, its fun and some of the girls (and guys) still want to be asked instead of it being assumed that they are going together. Doing it with flowers or balloons or baseball bats spelling it out just makes it a little more special than being asked to the movies on Saturday night.

 

[EMode]

They are a thing here and I think its great, good creative fun. Teens today can't get a break, whatever they do is ridiculous. I'm not too old where I don't remember being a teen and doing lots of ridiculous things too.

If them asking someone to the prom isn't hurting anyone who cares how its done