Over the Top Prom invites- Is this now a thing?

[marcyinPA]

They are a thing here and I think its great, good creative fun. Teens today can't get a break, whatever they do is ridiculous. I'm not too old where I don't remember being a teen and doing lots of ridiculous things too.

If them asking someone to the prom isn't hurting anyone who cares how its done

I agree. I think it is neat that kids want to put some effort into a relationship and want to make someone feel special. My DS didn't give a rats behind what other people thought- he just wanted to do something sweet and special for his girlfriend. I see nothing wrong with that at all.

I can see how some of these promposals are over the top, but really- who cares? People need to stop reading into it and see it as a sweet gesture to make a moment special.

 

[elphaba91]

I just saw this posted on The Book of Mormon's Facebook page. Amazing! http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=aN_EQyWwI5w

 

[nugov2]

I just saw this posted on The Book of Mormon's Facebook page. Amazing! http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=aN_EQyWwI5w

So creative!!! I just think it is a lot of fun for the kids to do it. I see no annoyance in it at all.

 

[Bluestars]

I think it's silly, but all of the kids do it where I live. It does put some pressure on the boys. My son asked a girl last year with cupcakes. Each cupcake had a letter on it and they spelled out P R O M ?

This year he took a girl out to dinner, but arrived early to make arrangements. After their dinner, the waiter brought out the flowers my son had given him earlier. There was a note asking her to prom.

I think it makes the girls feel special and maybe it creates a happy memory for them. I do feel sorry for the guys if he did all of that and the girl told him no. If I were a guy, I would probably try to see if the girl wanted to go with me before I asked her in a public way.

 

[aprilgail2]

Prom itself doesn't seem to be especially elaborate- just the invites. We live in a small city so limos aren't really done. I think there are only 2 or 3 limos in town so that wouldn't get many people there. Some kids will drive a cool car if they have access to one.

DD and her girl friends already have hair and nail appointments for that day. Some are also having professional make up but DD doesn't like that. DD will most likely go out to dinner with just her boyfriend or maybe the group of friends. They'll go to Prom and then one of her friends is having a backyard pool party after.

Seriously though, they are being asked to prom with more thought and style than DH's marriage proposal 34 years ago.

Wow-that is pretty laid back. They don't have to go out to eat prior to prom here because that is part of prom-its at a wedding type venue and it comes with a meal just like a wedding reception. Almost everyone comes in a limo and after prom varies, some kids go into the city, others have house rented out east that they go in a big group and spend the weekends out there. Asking to the prom is pretty out there too- my daughter came home laughing because yesterday during school one kid was outside their classroom in the school field with a megaphone singing his invite to a girl in a third floor classroom, all the kids and teachers in the lower floors were all yelling "say yes"

 

[sk!mom]

Wow-that is pretty laid back. They don't have to go out to eat prior to prom here because that is part of prom-its at a wedding type venue and it comes with a meal just like a wedding reception. Almost everyone comes in a limo and after prom varies, some kids go into the city, others have house rented out east that they go in a big group and spend the weekends out there. Asking to the prom is pretty out there too- my daughter came home laughing because yesterday during school one kid was outside their classroom in the school field with a megaphone singing his invite to a girl in a third floor classroom, all the kids and teachers in the lower floors were all yelling "say yes"

I'm sure that kids here would love to do more but there really isn't anything more to do. The only places still open after prom would be IHOP or Applebees. The nearest major city is a 3 hour drive away and no shore nearby in this barren land There aren't even any nice hotels here just motels. The best plan kids come up with is a house party after. It is warm enough to swim already- 90's the past two days.

I don't really know why there is no dinner before prom but I assume it might be a space issue. It's a Junior/Senior Prom which makes 1200 kids eligible to attend plus they can bring a date from another school or an underclassman. I don't think the venue could accommodate a meal and a large enough dance floor.

 

[kellyg403]

I don't know if its a big deal around here, but I don't think so. My ds18 would not participate, he is more like me and shy's away from being the center of attention in public. I would have not liked it. My dh proposed to me in public. I did not like it, though I appreciated the effort and pretended all was good.

I don't have the money needed for elaborate promposal's with college coming up anyway, ds would definitely have to be cheap or use his own cash

Kelly

 

[luvsJack]

I'm sure that kids here would love to do more but there really isn't anything more to do. The only places still open after prom would be IHOP or Applebees. The nearest major city is a 3 hour drive away and no shore nearby in this barren land There aren't even any nice hotels here just motels. The best plan kids come up with is a house party after. It is warm enough to swim already- 90's the past two days.

I don't really know why there is no dinner before prom but I assume it might be a space issue. It's a Junior/Senior Prom which makes 1200 kids eligible to attend plus they can bring a date from another school or an underclassman. I don't think the venue could accommodate a meal and a large enough dance floor.

Our school doesn't have a dinner before prom either, they all go out to eat in town about 40 miles from the school (the venue is half way between the two).

But after prom there are breakfasts that are set up and provided by parents. A junior breakfast at one location and a senior breakfast at another--juniors dating seniors can just choose which one the couple wants to go to. It was originally organized to give them something after prom and cut down on the after prom parties that pop up without parent supervision. I don't know if it accomplished that but they seem to have a good time at the breakfasts.

 

[nugov2]

Ours is a big thing around here with a wedding like sit down dinner, limos etc. What shocks me is the price of the girls dresses. Most are running around $1000(can't imagine the cost in 8yrs when dd goes) . I am glad I have only on dd and my other two are boys. Tux rentals are so much cheaper!!

 

[LukenDC]

A great idea for a promposal from a girl would be for the young woman to douse herself with blood and stand wide-eyed in front of a group. Take ME to the prom!

 

[JanaDee]

Ours is a big thing around here with a wedding like sit down dinner, limos etc. What shocks me is the price of the girls dresses. Most are running around $1000(can't imagine the cost in 8yrs when dd goes) . I am glad I have only on dd and my other two are boys. Tux rentals are so much cheaper!!

When was the last time you rented a tux? DS's was close to $250 for his upcoming prom.

 

[sj&k]

I'll weigh in on the "ridiculous" factor since my daughter was on the receiving end of a "promposal." I thought it was cute, and she loved it. The video and the fact that he picked out a song that she liked to play in the background, plus the captions he put with the pictures, moved her to tears. Everyone they know didn't see it, so it wasn't necessarily done for attention but more to make her feel special and like he really was excited about them going to prom together. He showed it to her at his house, and he did try to put it on Facebook later so others could see it, but it was removed because the song was copyrighted. It couldn't be put on Instagram either. I think that's the main reason most guys do this, even in established relationships-to make their date feel special. I'm sure some girls demand it, but all my daughter told him was that she'd like to be asked in some way. He'd originally wanted to set fires spelling out "prom" with chemicals and newspaper in our driveway so the video was a much better idea. I'd feel a lot better about the whole thing with my daughter if he hadn't backed out of going to prom after going to so much trouble to ask her and the time I spent saving for her dress and shopping with her for it in anticipation of them going, but we both understand why he did that. I will say that the drama over prom wound up causing them to be, as they are now, "on a break" from their relationship, but that happened when he got scared that she was going to end things when he backed out of taking her to prom and took it upon himself to break up with her instead. For the record, she was not planning on ending their relationship, but she was understandably upset about him not going with her-things like this usually mean a lot to girls her age. She's never dated anyone older so this was her first opportunity to go to prom, and she loves getting dressed up and going out. Her dress is beautiful on her and I'm sure she'll still have a great time, but going with your best girlfriend is not the same.

 

[drinkme]

This is one of the most ridiculous things I have heard. All that just for prom? If I would ask a girl to prom and she said "no it has to be done with fan fair", I would be looking for another date or go stag with a bunch of friends.

I think it's ridiculous too. And too much pressure for the boy.

For homecoming this year a boy asked dd to the dance. She didn't want to go with him but after what he did she felt she couldn't say no. This was a boy she has known since first grade. They're just friends.

Dd is going to prom & her bf didn't do the elaborate proposal. It didn't bother dd at first. But now I think it is. A lot of the kids had the big promposals so I think she feels she missed out.

 

[pigletgirl]

The whole thing is just silly. These are kids! It's over the top and unnecessary. All I think it does it place pressure on the boys and in exchange the girls are expecting something over the top.

 

[MrsPete]

Yes, this is a "thing" here. A friend of mine who's the mother of boys says there's a little something else behind it: She says it's hard /impossible for a girl to say NO when it's a very public thing. So, yes, the boy has to "put himself out there" to do the ask . . . but he's practically assured of a YES.

Note to all mothers of girls: Be sure to talk to your daughters about how to politely turn down an invitation, even if it's very public.

Prom is too serious these days. 5-6 years ago a girl in our area committed suicide over prom. Yes, she had some rather serious issues going on beforehand, but it was prom that put her over the edge.

Finally, a recent trend I'm seeing: Fewer kids are attending prom, but those who do are really going "all out". Some kids are simply priced out of the event. I mean, when I was in high school our prom was held in the gym, and decorations were very minimal. Today it "must" be held somewhere fancy, printed invitations are provided, decorations are really over-the-top. Some changes have been inevitable: for example, the school now has to provide a police officer, but most of the other things are driven by student demand.

 

[JVL1018]

Yes, this is a "thing" here. A friend of mine who's the mother of boys says there's a little something else behind it: She says it's hard /impossible for a girl to say NO when it's a very public thing. So, yes, the boy has to "put himself out there" to do the ask . . . but he's practically assured of a YES. Note to all mothers of girls: Be sure to talk to your daughters about how to politely turn down an invitation, even if it's very public. Prom is too serious these days. 5-6 years ago a girl in our area committed suicide over prom. Yes, she had some rather serious issues going on beforehand, but it was prom that put her over the edge. Finally, a recent trend I'm seeing: Fewer kids are attending prom, but those who do are really going "all out". Some kids are simply priced out of the event. I mean, when I was in high school our prom was held in the gym, and decorations were very minimal. Today it "must" be held somewhere fancy, printed invitations are provided, decorations are really over-the-top. Some changes have been inevitable: for example, the school now has to provide a police officer, but most of the other things are driven by student demand.

I graduated in 1989 and prom was limos, prom(with fancy invitations) held at a place that does wedding receptions, and included a sit down dinner, printed menu keepsakes, and a favor (glass) for every person.
Cost of the prom was your dress, hair, flowers, and limo, all of which could be tailored to any budget.

The prom itself, as well as our yearbook and video yearbook,and our Project Graduation night(dinner at a Japanese steakhouse, party at a health club-dancing/sports/swimming, breakfast at a local Elks Club and raffled off prizes like cameras and luggage) were all free. No one paid a dime because we had been fundraising for 4 years.

For myself, I asked my oldest friend and neighbor in like December-I said if I don't have a boyfriend, want to go with me? He said sure. I ended up having a boyfriend, but decide to go with my friend instead because he went to the same school, so he knew everyone and I wouldn't have to be stuck to his side, he danced and he was fun. Win/win/win. ;-)

 

[sk!mom]

I'll weigh in on the "ridiculous" factor since my daughter was on the receiving end of a "promposal." I thought it was cute, and she loved it. The video and the fact that he picked out a song that she liked to play in the background, plus the captions he put with the pictures, moved her to tears. Everyone they know didn't see it, so it wasn't necessarily done for attention but more to make her feel special and like he really was excited about them going to prom together. He showed it to her at his house, and he did try to put it on Facebook later so others could see it, but it was removed because the song was copyrighted. It couldn't be put on Instagram either. I think that's the main reason most guys do this, even in established relationships-to make their date feel special. I'm sure some girls demand it, but all my daughter told him was that she'd like to be asked in some way. He'd originally wanted to set fires spelling out "prom" with chemicals and newspaper in our driveway so the video was a much better idea. I'd feel a lot better about the whole thing with my daughter if he hadn't backed out of going to prom after going to so much trouble to ask her and the time I spent saving for her dress and shopping with her for it in anticipation of them going, but we both understand why he did that. I will say that the drama over prom wound up causing them to be, as they are now, "on a break" from their relationship, but that happened when he got scared that she was going to end things when he backed out of taking her to prom and took it upon himself to break up with her instead. For the record, she was not planning on ending their relationship, but she was understandably upset about him not going with her-things like this usually mean a lot to girls her age. She's never dated anyone older so this was her first opportunity to go to prom, and she loves getting dressed up and going out. Her dress is beautiful on her and I'm sure she'll still have a great time, but going with your best girlfriend is not the same.

I'm sorry for your DD. The same thing happened to my DD last year. After a Fortune Cookie promposal, he cancelled on her due to a conflict. I didn't like him to begin with and DD actually took it better than I did. I was angry about the expense- mostly at his parents as they could have avoided the conflict. They did eventually break up but the Prom incident was just one event in a not good relationship. In the end, she went with a large group of friends- girls, boys, couples- and had the time of her life. She was dating a Junior the year before and went then too. She honestly had more fun with the group last year than the date Sophomore year. So much so, that she and her current boyfriend (both seniors) are planning to spend most of the night with a larger group.

I hope your DD's experience is similar.

 

[marcyinPA]

When was the last time you rented a tux? DS's was close to $250 for his upcoming prom.

Wow!! That is pricey! My DS's tux was $85 without shoes last year. We opted to go to a local mom and pop rental place, and he picked a very basic tux. Easy peasy and relatively cheap!

 

[Nola Girl]

It is huge here as well. Since I have a DD and a DS we have been on both the planning and the receiving ends. I can honestly say I found it ridiculous but it was very important to the kids so we took it seriously. Spelling PROM? out in red rose petals was involved in some way for both my kids. This is very popular apparently in this area.

 

[nugov2]

When was the last time you rented a tux? DS's was close to $250 for his upcoming prom.

That is still 750 cheaper than a prom dress. I can get both of my son's a tux for less than my dd's dress at todays rate, so I'd consider the 250 a steal!!