OT: Kids at inappropriate movies

[DisneyPhD]

sunshinegirl, my mother was the same way and now as an adult I am thankful for it. I plan to be the same with my kids.

I remember a few years ago when I took my neice and nephew to see a children's movie, that had some lines and situations that didn't need to be in a children's movie. We talked about it and I felt very confident in their opinion of it and understanding of it. I think IF you are going to allow your children to watch such things you really need to discuss them before and after.

OP, I am with you on this topic. It bothers me to no end to see young kids in movies that I feel they shouldn't be seeing (sometimes that is a judgment call and my judgment may be different then others, sometimes it is plan common sense really.)

I remember before we had kids being in a movie theatre for "The Rock" a very violent and graphic sex movie. There was a group of little kids behind me, 4 or 5 of them with a women. They were all under 6 years old (some around 3 or 4 I would guess, old enough to understand what they shouldn't be seeing, and they yelled through the whole thing, they were loving it actually.) It made me sick to my smomach that I appeared to care more about the impact this would have on her children then this women. (my guess is she wanted to see it and it was cheaper to take the kids then get a sitter, this was a late seatting at $2 movie.)

After that I pretty much stopped seeing movies that I knew I would be angry about if kids saw in theaters. Also it was a decision for me not to support such movies. Really if it is any more intense then Harry Potter I don't need it.

edited to add, kidshop, I couldn't agree more!

 

[ducklite]

DisneyPhD--That's atrocious!

I can't imagine taking DS to a movie like that at that age. When he was in that 4-6 range it was movies like the Disney animated's and the one about teh dogs and the cat that find their way to their owners new home after they move--can't recall the name of it.

As he got into the 6-10 range we saw every movie that came out like The Sandlot, Angel's In the Outfield, The Big Green, Rudy, etc. Once he hit ten we were still into those, but started to introduce some more adult movies on a very careful basis--like Star Trek and Star Wars. And as he aged we gradually determined if a movie was appropriate, often ignoring the rating and instead making the determination based on speaking to people who had seen it and researching it on the Internet.

We used good judgement based on our beliefs, and I'll admit we were probably somewhat more liberal than many would have been, but yet still used common sense to choose age appropriate movies.

The only time we had to leave a movie was one of the Ernest movies when DS was around nine--something scared him silly and he began to cry uncontrollably, so we left. To this day we never did figure out what he was so frightened of, he didn't seem to know himself!

Anne

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I think we need to guide our kids. As a high school teacher, I work with the kids who've been allowed to 'see' everything. Want it or not, taking kids to see graphic movies, whether sex, language, or substances, gives them the idea that we accept that behavior. They are exposed to it. They are desensitized.

I am more overprotective than DH. I don't even want them to watch Cops , but DH allows them to watch with him. I hate Cops. But, I can tell that I'm too fussy. OTOH, allowing the to see more graphic movies takes away their innocence, which I value.

I don't believe in censorship, but age-appropriate, child-appropriate is better for the kid. For example, DD9 can't handle violence, or even high levels of tension. We saw National Treasure, which we loved, but she was lying on top of me the whole time it was exciting. DS4 (at the time) didn't bat an eye. During Narnia, the emotional scenes had him on my lap, but the battle (which made me wince) was fine for him! Further, I think crude humor is really dumb, so my kids don't watch the Shrek movies. Not funny to me. If they see it at school, will I flip out? No, but I certainly let the kids know I don't like the movie.

And I have my own rating system. A a high school teacher, all my students come tell me whether I'll approve or not of a movie. They know my prudishness levels based on what I permit in class.

I'm a high school teacher, too and I totally agree with you. I always wanted kids, but in the past 5-8 years, thinking of the "trend" of kids to "see it all" at such a young age (and likewise share with their classmates) I have strongly reconsidered. Kids deserve to be kids. I didn't even know what "the f word" was until I was 11. And I didn't know what it meant until I was 14.

I am often taken aback as to how permissible parents are. When I saw a mother with two kids (one about 10, the other about 1, in a carrier, who cried most of the movie ) in the audience at "Resident Evil" it took all my strength not to confront her.

 

[mickeyfan2]

on my sons bus last year while he was in 2nd grade 2 3rd grade boys on the bus were giving each other oral sex...gross I know, terrible for other kids to witness but it happened.

This if far worse than gross. Who showed them this?

 

[Mom to Jordan]

First- the situation with the little boys on the bus is a sign that a child that has been sexualy abused. I pray that someone did more than just punish the boys and look into their home situations.

Now the movie deal...
The same rating can mean so many different things. We let our DS see a lot of the super hero PG13 stuff since he was about 6 or 7. I however turned off a PG-13 movie we were watching on PVP the other night with our now 14 year our because it was just plain goss with the sexualy situations and language. We talk with our DS about everything and I was embarrassed to watch it with him.

Now another thing to look at is the child. DS is a very mature only child and has always prefered more grown up movies. He has never had a problem with reality and nothing scares him. As he has gotten older we have really eased off on most of our censership. I hated scary stuff at his age but respect that he likes it and it does not bother him. I was a little younger than him when the first Omen came out and my mom refused to let me go. ALL my friends went! I finally sat down on a cold aftenoon to watch it on cable about a year ago whe DS came in and wanted to watch. I let him. It gave me nightmares and he thought it was great. Now he wants to see the new released Omen. We have had a strict no R movies but are thinking of letting him see it if someone besides me takes him!!
It is looking at each movie and looking at your own child and deciding what is best.

We have friends that had a G only rule for thier boys till they were like 10 and 12. It was really sad becasue there are a lot of really good PG movies and they could never go with thier friends to see them.

It like everything else in parenting is a balancing act!!!!

Jordan's mom

 

[fan_of_small_world]

I won't add too much to the discussion on whether to take young kids to certain movies...I'm in agreement with OP and I believe that sheltering our children from inappropriate content is part of our responsibility as parents. (Not flaming anyone! I realize that different children react differently, and part of our job is to make sure they can handle what we allow them to see.)

A website that I LOVE is www.kidsinmind.com. It details (and I mean it really details, down to the smallest thing) anything that anyone could find offensive. It has helped me make well-informed decisions about some movies our kids have wanted to see. Sometimes I have said no, and at least once I decided to allow a movie I thought would be too much for them, Chronicles of Narnia (I was glad I had read the review - although much of it went over their heads and some scenes were intense, they both enjoyed it and it sparked some excellent conversations). I find it very useful.

 

[nurseypoo5]

I am on the Dis right now because DH and I were watching Signs on TV and it has me so scared that I need some distraction, but so sucked in that neither of us can shut it off! We are both NOT scary movie people, we are scared out of our wits and yet can't look away!

No way would I let my kids watch Signs at 10 years old, but I bet they'd be fine and we would be shaking in our boots!!!

yup i can understand, its a personal thing really. My sis is 55 yrs old and CAN NOT watch anything that is remotly scary (i'm talking signs, sixth sense etc) she absolutely freaks out and gets nightmares. I'm not normally like that but i cant watch movies like SAW or some of those slasher movies. The scariest movie ive ever seen was Jeepers Creepers 2...omg ugh.

Anyway, my son loves those kind of movies that are more psychological like Signs, there wasnt much violence if you think about it (just the scene at the end) but was "creepy"... He'll probably love horror movies as an adult, but that is just his personality. As for Harry Potter I dont see that as violent at all..

I think some cartoons out there now are way move violent than some movies lol, and what the heck is up with Adult Swim on the cartoon channel? I work in a hospital and kids always get there hours mixed up, and are trying to watch Adult Swim..now that stuff is raunchy

 

[Sandi12404]

I decide more by the movie itself then the rating. My 8 year old loves Harry Potter (me too ) and I didn't think twice about taking her to see it. However she also likes Lord of the Rings but I wouldn't take her to see it. She watched it on our couch when it came out on video so if she didn't like it I could turn it off. As parents we know our kids better than anyone else. I know what she can handle and what she can't. Of course there are some movies that she flat out isn't allowed to see (like Waiting).

 

[mrsltg]

I agree with the OP. I saw the Break Up on Friday and sure enough, there was a kid about 5 at the movie. She was bored about half way through so her inconsiderate moron of a parent let her run up and down the aisle to amuse herself.

People took children to see Munich, too. Yes, there are some themes that are above children. Rated R movies should be reserved for adults and older children. People shouldn't be allowed to bring babies to movie theaters. There's a whole host of reasons why it's inconsiderate. Unfortunately, saying that someone is "inconsiderate" is not PC and it's "judgemental". Where the world is headed is frightening.

 

[momimouse27]

Im with the OP. I am astounded by the amount of kids I see in things that are considered adult movies. I think some of the worse that I see lots of kids in are very violent movies(action) and horror. There is no way I want to sit up with my 9 yr old all night because she watched a horror movie. I agree with the poster before who said, some of them just don't want to pay for a babysitter. There are many parents nowadays who just don't protect the innocence of a child's mind anymore. Kids go from 2 to 20 in a couple of years....

 

[laceemouse]

We have friends that had a G only rule for thier boys till they were like 10 and 12. It was really sad becasue there are a lot of really good PG movies and they could never go with thier friends to see them.

It like everything else in parenting is a balancing act!!!!

Jordan's mom[/QUOTE]

We had the "G only" rule until our oldest was about 9 or 10. It used to be that ALL kid movies were G. Then Disney came out with Dinosaur. Our youngest was only 2 at the time and already a DINO FREAK (she still says, at 8, she wants to be a paleontologist!) Anyway, after we read the reviews, and why it got a PG, we decided it was okay for our family. Even our toddlers knew that sometimes dinos eat dinos! There were also a couple of suggestive jokes, but pretty mild. I agree with you, banning all PG is a bit extreme. Often, we can't figure why a movie GOT a PG rating . Dh and I think sometimes studios WANT a kid movie to get a PG because it may make more people come to see it, thinking it will not be so babyish or something. We take it movie by movie. Those parents should read plugged-in and some of the other reviews for parents. I do have to say though, as conservative as dh and I are we know several families who are even more so.