Opinions on this school lunch matter

[castleview]

I had lunch with my DH. But now I feel bad that all that other workers whose spouses weren't able to have lunch with them will have hurt feelings. Especially the ones who have no spouses.

Let the flogging commence.

Hey did you notice this thread was about kids and that you and DH are adults?

 

[JVL1018]

DD eats in her classroom(no cafeteria), no parent goes in to eat, but the kids can come home for lunch.

Once we came back from a field trip at lunchtime and one of the boy's moms was there and handed her son a bag from Wendy's.
The teacher chastised the little boy for it, saying it wasn;t fair to the other kids and he wasn't allowed to eat Wendy's at school.@@
Wendy's is not exactly a huge treat for these kids, I don't think any other kid in the class would have been upset in the slightest.
What's next? I can't send in a homemade brownie because Johnny's mom doesn;t bake and it might make him feel bad?

I was so tempted to bring in Wendy's for my DD every day for a week after that.
Ridiculous. Not only is she poking her nose into it, but she said it in front of all the kids and the chaperones, talk about making a kid feel bad.

 

[diznygirl]

Hey did you notice this thread was about kids and that you and DH are adults?

Yup - quite aware that I am a mature person here.

 

[auntpolly]

I had lunch with my DH. But now I feel bad that all that other workers whose spouses weren't able to have lunch with them will have hurt feelings. Especially the ones who have no spouses.

Let the flogging commence.

Do you have kids? Because if not, I don't think you realize how complicated this is.

I think that it's not black and white - for some kids who are having a rough time, a visit at lunch from a loving mom or dad can make the difference between a terrible day and a day that is saved. For some kids who need to be doing things on their own, it is smothering.

I only have a problem with a mom bringing stuff in for a select few and underscoring who the popular and unpopular kids are. I volunteered alot in the schools and I just saw too much of this.

 

[Kath2003]

I think that it's not black and white - for some kids who are having a rough time, a visit at lunch from a loving mom or dad can make the difference between a terrible day and a day that is saved. For some kids who need to be doing things on their own, it is smothering.

Never known this to happen in the UK - certainly it's not allowed at any school I know of - but occasionally kids get a "note" from their parent in their packed lunch, or the teacher puts it on their tray in the cafeteria. It usually just says that mom is thinking about them and they'll play when school's out. Kids are made to eat with their peers from the age of 4 unless they go home for lunch (never knew anyone who did) - gets them used to the school routine. It's tough for the little ones who're barely 4 but they get used to it fast.

Guess what? You're not allowed to leave the table until you've eaten enough of your lunch, either (not until you're 11 in my old school!). Yep, gotta ask permission to leave!

 

[stargrazer]

Do you have kids? Because if not, I don't think you realize how complicated this is.

I think that it's not black and white - for some kids who are having a rough time, a visit at lunch from a loving mom or dad can make the difference between a terrible day and a day that is saved. For some kids who need to be doing things on their own, it is smothering.

I agree that it is very complicated. My Mother died when I was 11. Seeing another Mum come into lunch to spend with her kids was hard - REAL hard. But instead of expecting parents to change, I learned how to deal with the situation. And focus on what I am doing instead of what others are doing.

Extreme example but same principle, IMO.

PS - That wasn't just an example, it's a true story.

 

[castleview]

Not only is she poking her nose into it, but she said it in front of all the kids and the chaperones, talk about making a kid feel bad.

She definitely could have been more diplomatic or talked to the mother, at least. But I've noticed a lot of people have been saying "they can't tell me what to feed my kid." While I agree on that, I also think teachers and schools have rules and if they don't want fast food there, that's their right.

 

[auntpolly]

Never known this to happen in the UK - certainly it's not allowed at any school I know of - but occasionally kids get a "note" from their parent in their packed lunch, or the teacher puts it on their tray in the cafeteria. It usually just says that mom is thinking about them and they'll play when school's out. Kids are made to eat with their peers from the age of 4 unless they go home for lunch (never knew anyone who did) - gets them used to the school routine. It's tough for the little ones who're barely 4 but they get used to it fast.

Guess what? You're not allowed to leave the table until you've eaten enough of your lunch, either (not until you're 11 in my old school!). Yep, gotta ask permission to leave!

Oh I never ate lunch in the cafeteria with DD - I'm just not going to be the one who judges the ones who do. DD's public school welcomed parents who wanted to come in for lunch. DD and I have always been extremely close. Honestly, she probably would have loved it if I came in for lunch, but when she was little, I thought it was important for her to manage on her own.

But once in awhile, probably once a year, when something bad was happening and she was upset by something a teacher did or something, I'd say, "Let's go out to lunch together" or even "Let's take the day off!" Those days meant alot to her - she still brags about them to her friends - sometimes, things can seem very dismal for a kid, and a little attention can make all the difference.

 

[stargrazer]

She definitely could have been more diplomatic or talked to the mother, at least. But I've noticed a lot of people have been saying "they can't tell me what to feed my kid." While I agree on that, I also think teachers and schools have rules and if they don't want fast food there, that's their right.

I don't believe a teachers rights trump my rights to feed my child what I choose. I am paying the teacher's salary and teachers don't own the school; citizens do.

Now that I've really ticked off a bunch of teachers, don't take that the wrong way. I love and appreciate you all very much. But any thoughts of removing our rights as parents has got to stop.

IMO.

 

[auntpolly]

I agree that it is very complicated. My Mother died when I was 11. Seeing another Mum come into lunch to spend with her kids was hard - REAL hard. But instead of expecting parents to change, I learned how to deal with the situation. And focus on what I am doing instead of what others are doing.

Extreme example but same principle, IMO.

PS - That wasn't just an example, it's a true story.

I'm so sorry! That must have been really hard. I know kids that for other reasons a mom coming in could be really powerful though. One I can think of, by the way, was when a little girl's dad commited suicide. The mom came in for lunch with her for awhile, DD told me about it.

It's just complicated - I think we all do the best we can.

 

[autumnbaby9]

Hey did you notice this thread was about kids and that you and DH are adults?

I don't see much of a difference. If we don't teach our children that this sort of thing happens then what are they going to do when they are adults?

Like I said in a PP I don't get upset when people I work with bring in food for others and don't include me, and they don't get upset when I do it. We were taught from a young age we were not going to be included in everything and we didn't turn out to be pycho's with low self esteem. Just because a child is not included doesn't mean thay are going to be scarred for life.

If I want to treat my DD and her friends I'm going to. If someone she is not friends with has a problem with that then they need to get over it. I'm not buying food for someone that doesn't get along with my DD.

I would like to add I have never done any of this stuff but I'm not going to NOT do it because it MIGHT hurt someone else's feelings. I don't live my life like that,and no one should have to worry about every little thing they do. This world has gotten WAAAYYY to PC

 

[stargrazer]

I'm so sorry! That must have been really hard. I know kids that for other reasons a mom coming in could be really powerful though. One I can think of, by the way, was when a little girl's dad commited suicide. The mom came in for lunch with her for awhile, DD told me about it.

It's just complicated - I think we all do the best we can.

--OFF TOPIC--
Good thing the little girl had someone to be there for her. I wish all kids had an adult they could turn to.

And yes, we all (I think) have good intentions at heart, just different ways of honoring those intentions. Which is why we have to respect each other in the end no matter what.

 

[castleview]

I don't believe a teachers rights trump my rights to feed my child what I choose. I am paying the teacher's salary and teachers don't own the school; citizens do.

Now that I've really ticked off a bunch of teachers, don't take that the wrong way. I love and appreciate you all very much. But any thoughts of removing our rights as parents has got to stop.

IMO.

I'm torn on this one. While I agree totally with parental rights, I think we have to respect the teacher's/school's rights also. Just because I pay the teacher's salary doesn't mean I should be able to tell her how to run her class. I'll add my two cents if it affects my kid, but I can't force anything on them.

I don't think my kid should be able to go to a friend's house and not follow their rules...

 

[stargrazer]

I'm torn on this one. While I agree totally with parental rights, I think we have to respect the teacher's/school's rights also. Just because I pay the teacher's salary doesn't mean I should be able to tell her how to run her class. I'll add my two cents if it affects my kid, but I can't force anything on them.

I don't think my kid should be able to go to a friend's house and not follow their rules...

Agreed as far as teaching. My DD's teacher has them reading from a book aloud right now that has cuss words. Do I like it? No. But I respect the boundary of the educator (unless it gets ridiculous).

Lunch room when I'm packing lunch, different story. Unless it's illegal, like beer, I can feed her what I want.

NOTE - My kid is soup and salad, we don't do fast food for lunch.

 

[JVL1018]

She definitely could have been more diplomatic or talked to the mother, at least. But I've noticed a lot of people have been saying "they can't tell me what to feed my kid." While I agree on that, I also think teachers and schools have rules and if they don't want fast food there, that's their right.

I agree if it makes sense--like no peanut butter, or healthy snacks.
Why no fast food? Because it's a hamburger or chicken nuggets?
The school serves that for lunch themselves.
Because it's not fair is not a good reason, in my book.
ETA, I have never and will never bring in fast food for lunch, mostly because I acn't see disturbing the class by delivering it. If as a treat I wnated her to have fast food, I would have her come home for lunch and we would go.

She gets a granola bar for snack with school milk. For lunch she has monterey jack and cheddar cheese(sometimes tuna) with a few crackers, fruit and a cookie or a FF pudding cup, and a juice box. So I am not rah rah let them eat junk.
School has ice cream day on Fridays so she gets ice cream every Friday.

 

[castleview]

I agree if it makes sense--like no peanut butter, or healthy snacks.
Why no fast food? Because it's a hamburger or chicken nuggets?
The school serves that for lunch themselves.
Because it's not fair is not a good reason, in my book.

I forgot the school lunches aren't as nutritious as they claim to be. I just remember when DD was in kindergarten (half day), the teacher asked for a healthy snack to be sent in and specifically asked for no candy. A couple of parents actually complained about that.

BTW, Wendy's might not be a treat for some people, but a Frosty is like gold to me!!!

 

[JVL1018]

I forgot the school lunches aren't as nutritious as they claim to be. I just remember when DD was in kindergarten (half day), the teacher asked for a healthy snack to be sent in and specifically asked for no candy. A couple of parents actually complained about that.

BTW, Wendy's might not be a treat for some people, but a Frosty is like gold to me!!!

That IS the new "healthy balanced lunch"

For K we just have a half day and I always sent for DD(and will for DS next year) healthy snacks M-Th, yogurt, granola bar, applesauce, etc.-but I always sent in a treat for Friday, not candy, but a couple of cookies or something.
I really would never go against the wishes of the teacher, even if I think it's silly.

 

[friend of pooh]

No schools around here allow this and not for the reasons any of you mentioned. Aren't any of you concerned about parents being allowed in cafeterias in this day and age? While you may be going to spend time with your child and genuinely care about them, what about the parents that are up to no good (could be a multitude of things)? I wouldn't want someone like that in a cafeteria with my child if I had kids. And as a teacher, I wouldn't feel safe with parents in the building like that. How do I know they really leave the bulilding? How do I know they don't have a weapon? People are nutty.

 

[stargrazer]

No schools around here allow this and not for the reasons any of you mentioned. Aren't any of you concerned about parents being allowed in cafeterias in this day and age? While you may be going to spend time with your child and genuinely care about them, what about the parents that are up to no good (could be a multitude of things)? I wouldn't want someone like that in a cafeteria with my child if I had kids. And as a teacher, I wouldn't feel safe with parents in the building like that. How do I know they really leave the bulilding? How do I know they don't have a weapon? People are nutty.

You aren't allowed to come in the school (locked up) unless you come through the front office and get your driver's license scanned and get a nametag on.

Here they won't let you in without a license, period.

 

[4greatboys]

I have lunch with my K son atleast once a week and I take him fast food. Usually Taco Bell. I dont see any problem with this at all. I would have a problem with the school telling me what I could bring though.

Many of his classmates wave hi when they see me waiting for him. I havent seen one break out in tears they werent having the same thing as well