Opinions on this school lunch matter

[va32h]

No schools around here allow this and not for the reasons any of you mentioned. Aren't any of you concerned about parents being allowed in cafeterias in this day and age? While you may be going to spend time with your child and genuinely care about them, what about the parents that are up to no good (could be a multitude of things)? I wouldn't want someone like that in a cafeteria with my child if I had kids. And as a teacher, I wouldn't feel safe with parents in the building like that. How do I know they really leave the bulilding? How do I know they don't have a weapon? People are nutty.

Why ever leave your house then? There may be a crazed gunman right there on the corner. Those people shopping at the grocery store - you don't know them, and any one of them could follow you home and plot to assault or kidnap your child. How do you know every single person you walk past isn't carrying a weapon? I'd stop getting my mail if I were you - your mailman could be a homicidal manic putting letter bombs in your mailbox. And don't subscribe to the paper - that delivery boy could be a pervert, and now he knows your address! In fact, why not just dig a bunker under your house and live in that?

I cannot and will not go through life terrified that my children's classmate's parents are always "up to no good" and should therefore be banned from setting foot in the school their own child attends.

The likelihood that something untoward would happen to a child in a cafeteria full of 100+ teachers and students is ludicrous.

And to conclude that you and you alone are there because you care about your child, and every other parent is there because they are nutty and up to no good, is just paranoid.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

My DD is in first grade. Just last week she told me how a classmate's mom brought him McDonald's for lunch because it was his birthday. Ok, fine - didn't know that was allowed. I've known that parents are allowed to go in and eat lunch with their kids - not something I do, but it seems like a nice idea especially if kids are going through some tough times. But ever since she told me that, I've learned that some parents bring their kids a Happy Meal at least once a week. Our school does serve hot lunch, fyi.

Well today was the kicker. I was helping out at the book fair and as I was leaving I see another mother (who I'm very friendly with) bringing in a pizza. We chit chatted and she said she was bringing a pizza to her daughter and some of her friends. That's seems so...encouraging a clique to me. Plus, I looked at the lunch menu when I got home and the cafeteria was serving pizza today!

I love DD's school, but I'm sort of stunned that people do this. Yes, I buy McDonald's and I could bring in a Happy Meal for my DD once in a while. But it just doesn't seem right to me. Any other thoughts?

I have brought my own kids fast food, but I'm not so sure I like the idea of bringing a pizza for a group of friends (wouldn't mind if it was the whole class, though). I go 1-2 times a year if that, so it's definitely a special thing, and the kids love it.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

No schools around here allow this and not for the reasons any of you mentioned. Aren't any of you concerned about parents being allowed in cafeterias in this day and age? While you may be going to spend time with your child and genuinely care about them, what about the parents that are up to no good (could be a multitude of things)? I wouldn't want someone like that in a cafeteria with my child if I had kids. And as a teacher, I wouldn't feel safe with parents in the building like that. How do I know they really leave the bulilding? How do I know they don't have a weapon? People are nutty.

Are you serious? Parents come in to my children's schools all the time to volunteer. Some weeks I feel like I live there! Are you suggesting that parents not be allowed in the school building?

 

[Amlee]

My nephew LOVES cheese pizza. Nothing but the dough and cheese. My mother will make him a small cheese pizza in the morning for his lunch. It's still warm by the time lunch comes around. Is this unfair? He also gets carrots and a snack to go with this.

If it's unfair that a parent brings in food, then shouldn't packed lunches be banned also? As what one might have in his or her lunch might make the other jealous and up set. When do you say ok enough is enough? Life isn't fair! Your old enough where your wants won't hurt you! You can't have it all!

 

[Cool-Beans]

No schools around here allow this and not for the reasons any of you mentioned. Aren't any of you concerned about parents being allowed in cafeterias in this day and age? While you may be going to spend time with your child and genuinely care about them, what about the parents that are up to no good (could be a multitude of things)? I wouldn't want someone like that in a cafeteria with my child if I had kids. And as a teacher, I wouldn't feel safe with parents in the building like that. How do I know they really leave the bulilding? How do I know they don't have a weapon? People are nutty.

Paranoid much?

Relax, most people aren't out to kill you. And if they are intent on killing you, a locked door will not be stopping them, nor a policy against it.

I'm not worried about people bring food to their kids. If it is me, good for me! If it isn't, I just don't care. And I sure don't worry that everyone with a happy meal might be a murderer.

 

[lovetoscrap]

I find this all very interesting. My kids have been in 2 different districts and both not only allowed parents to come for lunch they encouraged it. Notes were sent home at the beginning of the year with the lunch times and the procedures on how to order lunch from the cafeteria. Special adult meals/salads etc were available from the cafeteria in our last district. There were special days set up through out the year for parents and grandparents to come in addition to just the usual year round welcome.

I have gone in occasionally. Usually as a reward for something. I took Subway sandwiches once I think when Grandma and Grandpa went with me for Grandparents day. But usually I just get the cafeteria meal or a cafeteria salad. I think my kids think it is way more special to see me eating the same stuff that they are in the cafeteria. And it sets a good example when I eat all my vegetables And I always complement the cafeteria ladies on the wonderful meal. I enjoy sitting with DD7 and her 1st grade friends now and it has helped me to get to know the kids in her class.

Besides, by the time you go to McDonalds and get the Happy Meal and get to the school and sign in and get to the cafeteria the fries and nuggets or burger are cold and rubbery--Yech!

But DD 11 is in 5th grade and I know better than to go and eat with her (although I keep threatening to ) .

 

[SunKat]

Our school needed moms to come in and do lunch duty. There are what the kids call "PTA Moms" who just can't enough of being around the school and they do a LOT of it, but they still asked for volunteers to help out.

You stand around while the kids eat. Then you go outside and stand around while the kids play. Once in a while, a tattle-tale comes up to *******..otherwise, the kids ignore you and you just stand around talking to other mom recruits. Extraordinarily boring. I did it one week out of the year, as many moms did. On the day I'd do it, I'd bring one of my kids McDonalds.

It seriously wasn't a big deal at all...except to the kid who got it. They'll remember their McDonalds at school for the rest of their lives.

That sounds fun, being able to volunteer in the lunchroom (although I don't know if I'd have the patience for that!) In our district (and I think it may be a statewide policy), there are lunch/recess aides who are employed by the school district. Our district doesn't allow parent volunteers in the classroom either; they have the para-professionals for that. We can volunteer to help for class parties or the book fair, bake sale, holiday sales etc, but that's about it. In fact, this year we aren't even allowed to go to Field Day.

 

[aprilgail2]

Are you serious? Parents come in to my children's schools all the time to volunteer. Some weeks I feel like I live there! Are you suggesting that parents not be allowed in the school building?

They can go in our school building but not past the office and never into the cafeteria where other peoples children are. I have to say I would not be comfortable with some other kids parents sitting next to my daughter at the lunch room table. There are to many crazys out there and I can just see hearing about one groping some other persons kid under the table. If we are setting up for a book fair or something you wear a pass and can only go to that area, you just cant wander willy nilly around the school or cafeteria or around other peoples children. For the class parties only the 2 class moms can attend, you get a pass and they bring you to the classroom and you stay there for the party, not wander around the school. One of the kids in her school has a grandfather that is a registered sex offender, another has a father that is a registered sex offender, I would really prefer they didn't open the school up to parents or grandparents even for lunch!!

 

[Cool-Beans]

That sounds fun, being able to volunteer in the lunchroom (although I don't know if I'd have the patience for that!) In our district (and I think it may be a statewide policy), there are lunch/recess aides who are employed by the school district. Our district doesn't allow parent volunteers in the classroom either; they have the para-professionals for that. We can volunteer to help for class parties or the book fair, bake sale, holiday sales etc, but that's about it. In fact, this year we aren't even allowed to go to Field Day.

"Fun" is not the word I'd use to describe Lunch Duty week. Boring as crap is more like it. We were guilted into it by the priest. I wish more people considered it "fun," then we wouldn't have had to do it.

I didn't so much have the patience for it. Sometimes a tattletale comes up and says, "Johnny said '****' " Then I say, "****? Is that a bad word? What does that mean?" Kind of stops the tattletales in their tracks. It is kind of fun to watch their little faces as it dawns on them that the grown up is too dumb to tattle to.

It is a Catholic school. No way they are going to pay someone to come in and watch kids eat. Not ours, anyway!!

I never helped out at anything else - not book fairs, not anything. I did not enjoy hanging out in a school. I did my time, thanks!

 

[mommylicious]

My son attends a local charter school. We were told parents are always welcome to come have lunch with their child and you are welcome to bring them whatever you want but you don't eat in the lunchroom with them. Last year they had a room called the "cozy corner" where parents and kids ate. This year they needed the space so you can either eat outside at the picnic tables near the playground or in your child's classroom. They do not allow you to have a "friend" join you unless the friend's parent sends a note in advance that it is OK so it really has to be pre-arranged. I volunteer in DS's classroom every Wednesday and the reading group I work with ends at 11:15. They go to lunch at 11:25 so I hang around and have lunch with DS every Wednesday. Twice now we've arranged with his best friend's Mom for her DS to eat with us but usually it's just us. The system seems to work well because no one is eating a happy meal in front of the other kids and parents aren't allowed to let their kid just pick 3 friends to come eat with us sort of thing. Of course the reason for you not eating in the caffeteria is more a space issue than anything else but it works just fine.

On a security note, I attended the school board meeting last week and there was an item on the agenda saying that all in school volunteers will have to be fingerprinted next year before being allowed to volunteer. I wasn't fully clear on if this was a definite or just a suggestion but I've emailed the principal for more details. I know all of the school employees are finger printed and have a background check. This just seems like a nightmare to do for each parent who volunteers in the building ESPECIALLY when you take into consideration that as a charter school they have required family involvment so each family is required to do 25 hours of volunteering during the course of the year in order for their child to be able to attend the next year.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Why ever leave your house then? There may be a crazed gunman right there on the corner. Those people shopping at the grocery store - you don't know them, and any one of them could follow you home and plot to assault or kidnap your child. How do you know every single person you walk past isn't carrying a weapon? I'd stop getting my mail if I were you - your mailman could be a homicidal manic putting letter bombs in your mailbox. And don't subscribe to the paper - that delivery boy could be a pervert, and now he knows your address! In fact, why not just dig a bunker under your house and live in that?

I cannot and will not go through life terrified that my children's classmate's parents are always "up to no good" and should therefore be banned from setting foot in the school their own child attends.

The likelihood that something untoward would happen to a child in a cafeteria full of 100+ teachers and students is ludicrous.

And to conclude that you and you alone are there because you care about your child, and every other parent is there because they are nutty and up to no good, is just paranoid.

Thank you for being a voice of REASON. How some people make it thru the day looking for the boogy man around every corner is beyond me.What a rotten life.

 

[MushyMushy]

They can go in our school building but not past the office and never into the cafeteria where other peoples children are. I have to say I would not be comfortable with some other kids parents sitting next to my daughter at the lunch room table. There are to many crazys out there and I can just see hearing about one groping some other persons kid under the table. If we are setting up for a book fair or something you wear a pass and can only go to that area, you just cant wander willy nilly around the school or cafeteria or around other peoples children. For the class parties only the 2 class moms can attend, you get a pass and they bring you to the classroom and you stay there for the party, not wander around the school. One of the kids in her school has a grandfather that is a registered sex offender, another has a father that is a registered sex offender, I would really prefer they didn't open the school up to parents or grandparents even for lunch!!

Aren't you the one who makes fun of posters for not answering their doors when a stranger knocks? If that's not you, then I apologize.

What do you think parent volunteers do in the school? We actually interact with other kids than our own. I've been volunteering in the school since my oldest was in kindergarten and the main rule for most volunteers -- especially reading volunteers, which is what I did the most, was that we didn't work with our own kids. And nobody walked "willy nilly" through the school. We had to sign in at the office, get a pass saying where we'll be, and go there.

As for groping under the lunch table, I suppose it's slightly feasible, but I just can't imagine it. First of all, those tables are SMALL -- not a regular adult size. And secondly, there are literally hundreds of kids around, not to mention cafeteria monitors. If someone that desperately wants to grope a child, then they must have a strong desire to get caught. I can't imagine anyone being that blatantly stupid.

 

[MichelleVW]

They can go in our school building but not past the office and never into the cafeteria where other peoples children are. I have to say I would not be comfortable with some other kids parents sitting next to my daughter at the lunch room table. There are to many crazys out there and I can just see hearing about one groping some other persons kid under the table. If we are setting up for a book fair or something you wear a pass and can only go to that area, you just cant wander willy nilly around the school or cafeteria or around other peoples children. For the class parties only the 2 class moms can attend, you get a pass and they bring you to the classroom and you stay there for the party, not wander around the school. One of the kids in her school has a grandfather that is a registered sex offender, another has a father that is a registered sex offender, I would really prefer they didn't open the school up to parents or grandparents even for lunch!!

We went from it's not fair they get McDonalds to groping under the table??!!!

Those tables are small...there are a million kids/lunch aides/teachers etc around....I don't really think you have to worry about that...

 

[aprilgail2]

Aren't you the one who makes fun of posters for not answering their doors when a stranger knocks? If that's not you, then I apologize.

.

Thats me! It is a whole different ball game opening your door when someone knocks and having strangers sitting with my child without me there. Now if my daughter was home alone and someone knocked I would say don't answer it, but for an adult to be afraid to answer their one door is another story.
I don't agree with having parents in the rooms helping kids with school work, it only leads to gossiping about other peoples children and how bad they are, or how this one can't read, or how this one stinks like smoke-and YES I have heard parents saying things like that who go to school that allow that sort of parental "help" in the classrooms-to me its a violation of a childs privacy. As far as sitting by my child when I am not there I don't like that-who knows if one of those parents can follow your child in to the bathroom at the school...just leaves the child open to trouble I believe. I prefer it the way our school work, it works for us.

 

[mickeyfan2]

We went from it's not fair they get McDonalds to groping under the table??!!!

Those tables are small...there are a million kids/lunch aides/teachers etc around....I don't really think you have to worry about that...

Aren't registered sex offenders not allowed within a certain distance of a school. So they won't be eating lunch in the cafeteria and groping as their dessert!

 

[SDFgirl]

The Happy Meal, even weekly, doesn't bug me.

The pizza for a "select few" does bother me. Seems mean!

 

[dhcoffey]

After reading the many replies about the different way schools are run around the country, if my child's school didn't allow me in to see my child for whatever reason, field day, her birthday, eating lunch with her, etc., she wouldn't be going to that school. I'm very happy that our school system encourages parental involvement at all ages.

Heather

 

[powellrj]

The Happy Meal, even weekly, doesn't bug me.

The pizza for a "select few" does bother me. Seems mean!

I agree. Back when parents were encouraged to eat lunch with their kids at our school, lots of moms would bring in fast food meals to share with their own children. I never saw that as a problem. I would compare it to the kid who got "real" hostess snacks and fritos while the rest of us ate the store brands!

Now just bringing in pizza for a select few, thats just asking for trouble.

 

[Southern4sure]

No schools around here allow this and not for the reasons any of you mentioned. Aren't any of you concerned about parents being allowed in cafeterias in this day and age? While you may be going to spend time with your child and genuinely care about them, what about the parents that are up to no good (could be a multitude of things)? I wouldn't want someone like that in a cafeteria with my child if I had kids. And as a teacher, I wouldn't feel safe with parents in the building like that. How do I know they really leave the bulilding? How do I know they don't have a weapon? People are nutty.

I'm not trying to be mean but honestly this post is nutty. I think you have gone too far and either you are being a pot stirrer or your the nutty one.

As another poster mentioned, ds school is totally locked up with a 6 ft chain link fence surrounding the entire property. The gates are locked at all times except for arrival (am) and dismissal (pm) of students. A parent MUST go through the office by showing ID which is then scanned into the system and then your picture is printed on the name tag which you MUST wear at all time while on school property.

A parent is not allowed to volunteer at ds school unless you are approved. To be approved you must fill out a form with your name and such. This form is sent to the sheriffs office for a background check.

 

[Dina]

I'm not trying to be mean but honestly this post is nutty. I think you have gone too far and either you are being a pot stirrer or your the nutty one.

As another poster mentioned, ds school is totally locked up with a 6 ft chain link fence surrounding the entire property. The gates are locked at all times except for arrival (am) and dismissal (pm) of students. A parent MUST go through the office by showing ID which is then scanned into the system and then your picture is printed on the name tag which you MUST wear at all time while on school property.

A parent is not allowed to volunteer at ds school unless you are approved. To be approved you must fill out a form with your name and such. This form is sent to the sheriffs office for a background check.

Well, I think I understand what the poster is saying though. People should not be able to just come and go in the school (maybe that's what the poster is thinking is happening). We don't know every parent of every kid in the school. Parents volunteer but the school's get to know them, and they're visible. But, just any parent coming in where there's not a whole lot of supervision (when I moderated caf, I was one of three moderators for a couple hundred kids, sometimes there were only 2 of us)--- it could possibly lead to problems-- you never know, the poster is right, people are nutty, sometimes even some parents-- if they're allowing parents, would they allow a "special person" for the kid who doesn't have mom or dad home during the day? An uncle, an aunt, mom's boyfriend? This is something that probably comes to our mind more than others, being in the school day in and day out, but I could see the potential for a possible problem. Teachers have to go through background checks and what not, volunteers are usually visible to teachers and administration, but when you have multiple people coming in, sitting with the kids--- I see what the poster is saying. It's not something I'm all that worried about, but I can see what the poster is getting at, and I don't think Friend of Pooh is nutty at all.

Editing--- because I should say that I taught in the city of Philadelphia, so maybe I have a different perspective.