Opinions on this school lunch matter

[Southern4sure]

Well, I think I understand what the poster is saying though. People should not be able to just come and go in the school (maybe that's what the poster is thinking is happening). We don't know every parent of every kid in the school. Parents volunteer but the school's get to know them, and they're visible. But, just any parent coming in where there's not a whole lot of supervision (when I moderated caf, I was one of three moderators for a couple hundred kids, sometimes there were only 2 of us)--- it could possibly lead to problems-- you never know, the poster is right, people are nutty, sometimes even some parents-- if they're allowing parents, would they allow a "special person" for the kid who doesn't have mom or dad home during the day? An uncle, an aunt, mom's boyfriend? This is something that probably comes to our mind more than others, being in the school day in and day out, but I could see the potential for a possible problem. Teachers have to go through background checks and what not, volunteers are usually visible to teachers and administration, but when you have multiple people coming in, sitting with the kids--- I see what the poster is saying. It's not something I'm all that worried about, but I can see what the poster is getting at, and I don't think Friend of Pooh is nutty at all.

If you were the only monitor for 100+ kids, then I'd wonder how "safe" the school was period to be put into that position and I would be asking questions. Where was the cafeteria staff or teachers? The teachers should at least sit with their class if this is the case.

This is not something I worry about daily either. Like I said, even the volunteers have to go through a background check, it is a county thing not a school thing. I see the steps the schools take and it struck me wrong that anyone could post something totally out of the blue (pizza for a few to possible molestation) and it appears to be pot stirring. In this day and age, I would think the majority of schools are cautious enough not to let just anyone walk onto school property and willy nilly as another poster mentioned.

To answer your question about allowing a special person to visit...only the people I list on my child's card at registration are allowed and must show ID which again is scanned and a name tag is printed with the pic off of the ID. No ID, no getting past the office.

 

[va32h]

Thats me! It is a whole different ball game opening your door when someone knocks and having strangers sitting with my child without me there. Now if my daughter was home alone and someone knocked I would say don't answer it, but for an adult to be afraid to answer their one door is another story.
I don't agree with having parents in the rooms helping kids with school work, it only leads to gossiping about other peoples children and how bad they are, or how this one can't read, or how this one stinks like smoke-and YES I have heard parents saying things like that who go to school that allow that sort of parental "help" in the classrooms-to me its a violation of a childs privacy. As far as sitting by my child when I am not there I don't like that-who knows if one of those parents can follow your child in to the bathroom at the school...just leaves the child open to trouble I believe. I prefer it the way our school work, it works for us.

Do you realize that when your child is in class, she is in a room with - gasp! - a stranger? You don't know that teacher. They could be a pervert who purposely got into education so they could be around children.

I think it is insane to think that any random parent who has lunch with their child is doing so for an opportunity to molest other children.

And I would never allow my child to attend a school in which parents were forbidden. Hello? Miss Everyone-is-out-to-molest-my-baby -- has it ever occurred to you that if parents aren't allowed to set a toenail on campus, the teachers and administrators can do whatever they want, with no checks and balances?

I cannot believe that someone would consider opening the door to a stranger perfectly safe, but having someone's mother in a school cafeteria risking molestation.

 

[tar heel]

I'm just amazed that some of you would be worried about another parent sitting at the lunch table with your child. I honestly don't think I could send my child to a school that I was that paranoid about. If you don't trust another child's parent to sit next to yours, how can you trust the teacher? After all, he/she is also another adult with access to your child.

I must be way too trusting. I've sent my kids off in carpools. I've let all three of my children visit friends in their homes when my knowledge of their parents was a cordial five minutes, "Hi I'm DS's mom, and he's really excited about coming over to play with little Johnny" conversation.

For the record, I think the pizza thing is totally inappropriate, but I have no problem with whatever parents want to bring when they come to eat with their child.

 

[tar heel]

Looks like va32h and I were posting about those suspicious teachers at the same time!

 

[grlpwrd]

Thats me! It is a whole different ball game opening your door when someone knocks and having strangers sitting with my child without me there. Now if my daughter was home alone and someone knocked I would say don't answer it, but for an adult to be afraid to answer their one door is another story...

I am sorry, but that really doesn't make sense. I sure wonder what kind of school your child attends if you are so very paranoid about it.

I cannot believe that someone would consider opening the door to a stranger perfectly safe, but having someone's mother in a school cafeteria risking molestation.

va32h, yes, thanks for being the voice of reason.

 

[Dina]

If you were the only monitor for 100+ kids, then I'd wonder how "safe" the school was period to be put into that position and I would be asking questions. Where was the cafeteria staff or teachers? The teachers should at least sit with their class if this is the case.

This is not something I worry about daily either. Like I said, even the volunteers have to go through a background check, it is a county thing not a school thing. I see the steps the schools take and it struck me wrong that anyone could post something totally out of the blue (pizza for a few to possible molestation) and it appears to be pot stirring. In this day and age, I would think the majority of schools are cautious enough not to let just anyone walk onto school property and willy nilly as another poster mentioned.

To answer your question about allowing a special person to visit...only the people I list on my child's card at registration are allowed and must show ID which again is scanned and a name tag is printed with the pic off of the ID. No ID, no getting past the office.

Umm this was a high school in Philadelphia--- teachers don't sit with their classes, we teach 5 classes a day-- that's not even possible. Cafeteria staff was working the kitchen, and (at one time being a pregnant teacher in the middle of 20 9th and 10th graders, most bigger than me, trying to stop a fight, I can most certainly guarantee they do no not come out to help with the kids). Whether or not the school is safe is per your judgement-- I'm not a pot stirrer or lying for that matter. I just think don't think you should have called that poster nutty, I don't think their post was out of left field. When I was teaching there, the principal was molesting students in exchange for the drugs they were addicted to (this was discovered a few years later), so I don't put anything past anyone--- like I said maybe I have a different perspecitve

Am I worried about this in my child's school--- frankly not at all, but like I said, I don't think the poster is "nutty."

 

[MushyMushy]

Umm this was a high school in Philadelphia--- teachers don't sit with their classes, we teach 5 classes a day-- that's not even possible. Cafeteria staff was working the kitchen, and (at one time being a pregnant teacher in the middle of 20 9th and 10th graders, most bigger than me, trying to stop a fight, I can most certainly guarantee they do no not come out to help with the kids). Whether or not the school is safe is per your judgement-- I'm not a pot stirrer or a liar for that matter. I just think don't think you should have called that poster nutty, I don't think their post was out of left field. When I was teaching there, the principal was molesting students in exchange for the drugs they were addicted to (this was discovered a few years later), so I don't put anything past anyone--- like I said maybe I have a different perspecitve

Am I worried about this in my child's school--- frankly not at all, but like I said, I don't think the poster is "nutty."

Teachers sit in the cafeteria at my kids' high school. There are monitors and a whole group of teachers -- anywhere from 5 to 10 teachers on any given day.

 

[Dina]

Teachers sit in the cafeteria at my kids' high school. There are monitors and a whole group of teachers -- anywhere from 5 to 10 teachers on any given day.

They're sitting with they're classes? How could a teacher do that when they teach 5 different classes. I'm assuming you mean they are sitting in the caf for lunch---I'm sure that's the case, but it wasn't where I taught--- teachers had a separate dining room, and buffet line, and avoided the caf at all costs

 

[Southern4sure]

Umm this was a high school in Philadelphia--- teachers don't sit with their classes, we teach 5 classes a day-- that's not even possible. Cafeteria staff was working the kitchen, and (at one time being a pregnant teacher in the middle of 20 kids trying to stop a fight, I can most certainly guarantee they do no not come out to help with the kids). Whether or not the school is safe is per your judgement-- I'm not a pot stirrer or a liar for that matter. I just think don't think you should have called that poster nutty, I don't think their post was out of left field.

I have a ds in highschool also. I know the differences between ele and highschool cafeterias. It would have been helpful if you mentioned you were referring to highschool. My posts were based mainly on my youngest ds ele cafeteria as I think most posts were. You are right, not many if any volunteer in highschool cafeterias. But I dont worry because I'm fairly confident my 6 ft 203 lb son would be able to knock a under the table nutty molesting parent to the ground. Same thing goes, ID and name tag is printed and you go to where you need to, no random walking the halls are allowed.

For the record, I never called you pot stirrer or a liar. I referred to the post I thought as a pot stirrer. Maybe you would be right IF that post was on topic but it wasnt. I feel it was posted with intent to be a pot stirrer and I responded.

 

[Dina]

For the record, I never called you pot stirrer or a liar. I referred to the post I thought as a pot stirrer. Maybe you would be right IF that post was on topic but it wasnt. I feel it was posted with intent to be a pot stirrer and I responded.

I apologize then, the way you questioned whether or not that was safe, I felt that you were questioning what I was saying, but I still don't think that person's post was out of left field--- maybe they were pot-stirring, but maybe not. I don't know. But, I'm staying away from this thread from now on LOL. My elementary school son doesn't stay for lunch yet (he's in AM-K) so I didn't realize how many monitors a caf would have, just going by my own experience. I went to a very small catholic school-- we didn't have a caf. I apologize, though it's not something I worry about in my child's school district, I could see the poster's point, and felt badly that they were called nutty--- and wanted to share my perspective.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Umm this was a high school in Philadelphia--- teachers don't sit with their classes, we teach 5 classes a day-- that's not even possible. Cafeteria staff was working the kitchen, and (at one time being a pregnant teacher in the middle of 20 9th and 10th graders, most bigger than me, trying to stop a fight, I can most certainly guarantee they do no not come out to help with the kids). Whether or not the school is safe is per your judgement-- I'm not a pot stirrer or lying for that matter. I just think don't think you should have called that poster nutty, I don't think their post was out of left field. --- like I said maybe I have a different perspecitveWhen I was teaching there, the principal was molesting students in exchange for the drugs they were addicted to (this was discovered a few years later) so I don't put anything past anyone

Am I worried about this in my child's school--- frankly not at all, but like I said, I don't think the poster is "nutty."

All the more reason to have more, not less eyes and adult contacts in the crowd.

 

[Southern4sure]

I apologize then, the way you questioned whether or not that was safe, I felt that you were questioning what I was saying, but I still don't think that person's post was out of left field--- maybe they were pot-stirring, but maybe not. I don't know. But, I'm staying away from this thread from now on LOL. My elementary school son doesn't stay for lunch yet (he's in AM-K) so I didn't realize how many monitors a caf would have, just going by my own experience. I went to a very small catholic school-- we didn't have a caf.

I agree with you about staying away from this thread. I posted several pages back then this morning I decided to read it and wow so I responded. I "think" I'll do the same.

 

[Dina]

Just wanted to apologize one more time for being snarky. That's unlike me. Sorry.

 

[cruisnfamily]

At our school you have to go thru the office and get a pass(they scan your license to check for a record and print a pass that has your photo from your license) and then you sign in on the computer and then you are free to enter the school.

I have volunteered for many years at my kids elementary school and I did everything you can imagine...from cutting and copying to one on one reading with individual children(not my own).

Also, we used to have a policy where you could come in and take your child "out to lunch" which meant sitting at the picnic tables outside with them. You could also take 2 additional friends out with you. You could bring fast food or not, your choice. The kids loved this. It was so exciting for them to pick a couple of friends and get to eat outside. Many, many parents would come once a week and it was such a treat! And then 2 years ago they changed the rule and you can only take your own child out. I don't go anymore. My kid doesn't want to go out to eat with just me. It's no longer a treat but a punishment. He wants to be with his friends and be able to socialize and I don't blame him. It was probably a paranoid parent who thought somebody might do something to their child who had this rule changed and we're all very very sad about it. Ya know, we're still allowed to volunteer and work one on one with the kids so if we "strangers" wanted to do somethign to the children we still have ample opportunity.

It's a sad, sad world we live in!

 

[autumnbaby9]

Also, we used to have a policy where you could come in and take your child "out to lunch" which meant sitting at the picnic tables outside with them. You could also take 2 additional friends out with you. You could bring fast food or not, your choice. The kids loved this. It was so exciting for them to pick a couple of friends and get to eat outside. Many, many parents would come once a week and it was such a treat! And then 2 years ago they changed the rule and you can only take your own child out. I don't go anymore. My kid doesn't want to go out to eat with just me. It's no longer a treat but a punishment. He wants to be with his friends and be able to socialize and I don't blame him. It was probably a paranoid parent who thought somebody might do something to their child who had this rule changed and we're all very very sad about it. Ya know, we're still allowed to volunteer and work one on one with the kids so if we "strangers" wanted to do somethign to the children we still have ample opportunity.

It's a sad, sad world we live in!

More likely it was a parent who couldn't stand the thought that their Precious Child could possible be left out of anything. If life isn't fair for their child every step of the way no one can have any fun.

 

[castleview]

More likely it was a parent who couldn't stand the thought that their Precious Child could possible be left out of anything. If life isn't fair for their child every step of the way no one can have any fun.

Who knows why that happened. Although I stated that I would probably not bring in fast food for my kids, I wouldn't stop others from doing so...and I never said I had a problem with parents eating with their kids.

From what I've gathered at DD's school. Many people bring in fast food for birthdays or special treats, but there's just two cases of inappropriateness: one being the pizza clique and two being the child whose mother brings him McD's twice a week and grandfather brings it once a week.

While I've seen some nice points from a lot of people hear. I am surprised by the few who said they have no problem with their children excluding other children.

 

[autumnbaby9]

While I've seen some nice points from a lot of people hear. I am surprised by the few who said they have no problem with their children excluding other children.

I'm sorry you think it is mean, but it is how I feel.

Children learn life issues better at a young age. The hurt feelings are going to be less at an elementary age then later in life. If they don't learn now that they are not going to be included in everything in life then they are going to have a really tough life ahead of them.

Rather then telling parents to stop doing nice stuff for thier kids and their friends, we need to start telling parents to explain to their children that life isn't fair and we don't live in some paradise where everyone is treated the same.

Maybe if children were taught at a yong age how to deal with disapointment we wouldn't have so many teenagers going off the deep end.

Obvioulsy this is just MY opinion.

 

[Dina]

I'm sorry you think it is mean, but it is how I feel.

Children learn life issues better at a young age. The hurt feelings are going to be less at an elementary age then later in life. If they don't learn now that they are not going to be included in everything in life then they are going to have a really tough life ahead of them.

Rather then telling parents to stop doing nice stuff for thier kids and their friends, we need to start telling parents to explain to their children that life isn't fair and we don't live in some paradise where everyone is treated the same.

Maybe if children were taught at a yong age how to deal with disapointment we wouldn't have so many teenagers going off the deep end.

Obvioulsy this is just MY opinion.

You may have a point, but sorry, I still could not bring in pizza for a select few--- I was taught as a kid that it was bad manners to exclude others. But, to each their own.

 

[cruisnfamily]

I am surprised by the few who said they have no problem with their children excluding other children.

Nobody ever got upset! It was just the way it was. Some kids had parents who came every week on a particular day, some kids had parents who came once a month, some kids had parents who came on special occassions and some kids had parents who didn't ever come. Everybody was always like "wow Johnny's lucky his mom brought burger king" or whatever but trust me, nobody ever cried because they didn't. With so many parents coming in and everybody being able to take out a couple of extra kids, most kids ended up being able to eat outside once in a while. If not, they were fine.

What's that saying about preparing your child for the path and not the path for the child.....

And it's just my opinion but I personally don't see anything wrong with a parent bringing in a pizza for her kid and a couple of friends as a treat for lunch once in a while.

 

[Dina]

You know a few people are going on about life not being fair, but shouldn't we also be teaching kids good manners If I brought in a treat for kids in my class (or my son's)--- I bring in enough for the entire class. If you want to do something nice for a few kids, why not invite them over for pizza after school for dinner or on a Saturday. Parents took a few of us out for ice cream after dinner, things like that. That's what people did when I was a kid---- you don't need to shove it in other kids faces. That's what parents in my son's school do--- we call each other and say, can so and so come over to play on such and such a date. I'll make cupcakes or brownies if we're having a little group. Is it exclusive too-- yeah I guess so, obviously I can't invite the whole class over, but at least we're not having a little party right in front of them--- c'mon.