Opinions on this school lunch matter

[Lady V]

well, I take Happy meals every now and then (read-a couple times a school year) to my kids and they love it and I love doing it for them. I see nothing wrong with it. Sure-me being there is enough but why not surprise them? They are only little once and I love doing stuff like that for them! I think it is great!

Now- I do not think it is ok to exclude any children. I only take enough for my children. I would NEVER want to pick and choose who got to eat pizza and feel special that day. that is just wrong and cruel in my opinion.

 

[Dina]

well, I take Happy meals every now and then (read-a couple times a school year) to my kids and they love it and I love doing it for them. I see nothing wrong with it. Sure-me being there is enough but why not surprise them? They are only little once and I love doing stuff like that for them! I think it is great!

I don't see anything wrong with that.

 

[autumnbaby9]

What's that saying about preparing your child for the path and not the path for the child.....

Exactly

 

[cruisnfamily]

More likely it was a parent who couldn't stand the thought that their Precious Child could possible be left out of anything. If life isn't fair for their child every step of the way no one can have any fun.

Judging from the responses here, you may be right. I thought it was more likely a safety issue. Either way, it's a shame!

 

[autumnbaby9]

You know a few people are going on about life not being fair, but shouldn't we also be teaching kids good manners If I brought in a treat for kids in my class (or my son's)--- I bring in enough for the entire class. If you want to do something nice for a few kids, why not invite them over for pizza after school for dinner or on a Saturday. Parents took a few of us out for ice cream after dinner, things like that. That's what people did when I was a kid---- you don't need to shove it in other kids faces. That's what parents in my son's school do--- we call each other and say, can so and so come over to play on such and such a date. I'll make cupcakes or brownies if we're having a little group. Is it exclusive too-- yeah I guess so, obviously I can't invite the whole class over, but at least we're not having a little party right in front of them--- c'mon.

But the schools are telling us we can't do that anymore either. If you invite 1 kid to a get together you have to invite them all. I'm sorry I'm not feeding my DD entire class for the next 13 years.

And since when is doing something around other people rubbing their nose in it? I just bought a new car, am I not suppost do drive DD and her friends to school in it because someone else wasn't able to buy a new car also? I just bought new shoes for DD and her best friend, are they not suppost to wear them around the other students?

If DD started the "we get pizza and you don't" attitude, pizza would stop (not that I have ever brought pizza). That is rubbing someone nose in it IMO.

 

[JVL1018]

After reading the many replies about the different way schools are run around the country, if my child's school didn't allow me in to see my child for whatever reason, field day, her birthday, eating lunch with her, etc., she wouldn't be going to that school. I'm very happy that our school system encourages parental involvement at all ages.

Heather

The logistics of parents eating lunch with their kids in my DD's school would just be too much.
19 kids in the class, the kids eat lunch in their classroom.
If parents went in for lunch we'd be crouching on the floor next to our kids desks. LOL

I have no problem not being allowed to go in and eat lunch. I am more than welcome to take my child out for lunch if I feel the need to spend a little extra time with her.
Birthdays, I drop the cupcakes off at her class, but I don't go and hang out with the kids while they eat.
They're busy, the teacher doesn't even know when they'll have the treat-it may be during lunch, but if some kids went home for lunch she may do it at snack time in the morning or at the end of the day, carving out the time.
Even in my son's preschool, I drop off the treats and leave.
Field day, I go to.

 

[MushyMushy]

They're sitting with they're classes? How could a teacher do that when they teach 5 different classes. I'm assuming you mean they are sitting in the caf for lunch---I'm sure that's the case, but it wasn't where I taught--- teachers had a separate dining room, and buffet line, and avoided the caf at all costs

Yes, I believe I said that they're eating IN the cafe -- but not with their classes. It's a voluntary thing, and quite a few teachers do it for some reason. They do have a lounge to go to, but some prefer to eat in the cafeteria with the students.

Uh oh -- teachers who actually want to be around kids! They must be pedophiles!

 

[cruisnfamily]

After reading the many replies about the different way schools are run around the country, if my child's school didn't allow me in to see my child for whatever reason, field day, her birthday, eating lunch with her, etc., she wouldn't be going to that school. I'm very happy that our school system encourages parental involvement at all ages.

Heather

I agree with this as well.

And ya know what, I don't object to other parents(perhaps they may be strangers to me) seeing their kids either. If they want to volunteer in the classroom I figure my kid is benefiting...even if I don't know them. And if they want to bring their kid McDonalds or Pizza, I'm OK with that too.

 

[Dina]

But the schools are telling us we can't do that anymore either. If you invite 1 kid to a get together you have to invite them all. I'm sorry I'm not feeding my DD entire class for the next 13 years.

Really? You can't call a parent and have a kid over your house? I know in DS's preschool we could not send in invitaions to the classroom that were to be given to only a few kids, but I can't imagine that you can't talk to another parent (what if you were friends?) and have a kid over outside of school??? A good friend of mine's son is in my kid's class (we've been friends for years long before our kids were students here). Sometimes he comes over when she has to run in to work during the weekday or if she has to run errands--- I dont' see how a school can prevent this

And since when is doing something around other people rubbing their nose in it? I just bought a new car, am I not suppost do drive DD and her friends to school in it because someone else wasn't able to buy a new car also? I just bought new shoes for DD and her best friend, are they not suppost to wear them around the other students?

That's something different entirely

I guess we all have our own opinions on what's rude and what isn't--- so, I'm not going to debate this anymore, and I'll just agree to disagree here.

 

[autumnbaby9]

Really? You can't call a parent and have a kid over your house? I know in DS's preschool we could not send in invitaions to the classroom that were to be given to only a few kids, but I can't imagine that you can't talk to another parent (what if you were friends?) and have a kid over outside of school??? A good friend of mine's son is in my kid's class (we've been friends for years long before our kids were students here). Sometimes he comes over when she has to run in to work during the weekday or if she has to run errands--- I dont' see how a school can prevent this

There is not much they can do to stop it but if your student and their friends were to mention how much fun they had to another student and it got back to the school it is considered going against school policy and your child can be suspended.

It totally rediculious IMO and I don't follow it. If DD gets suspended I will have to deal with though.

 

[Dina]

There is not much they can do to stop it but if your student and their friends were to mention how much fun they had to another student and it got back to the school it is considered going against school policy and your child can be suspended.

It totally rediculious IMO and I don't follow it. If DD gets suspended I will have to deal with though.

I'm not debating, just needed to say, if this is a public school, and my child got suspended for something like this, I'd be contacting my attorney. That's absurd--- they can't regulate who you have or don't have over your house outside of school. That is totally ridiculous-- I agree with you there.

 

[Teacher03]

You know a few people are going on about life not being fair, but shouldn't we also be teaching kids good manners If I brought in a treat for kids in my class (or my son's)--- I bring in enough for the entire class. If you want to do something nice for a few kids, why not invite them over for pizza after school for dinner or on a Saturday. Parents took a few of us out for ice cream after dinner, things like that. That's what people did when I was a kid---- you don't need to shove it in other kids faces. That's what parents in my son's school do--- we call each other and say, can so and so come over to play on such and such a date. I'll make cupcakes or brownies if we're having a little group. Is it exclusive too-- yeah I guess so, obviously I can't invite the whole class over, but at least we're not having a little party right in front of them--- c'mon.

I'm a teacher, and I agree with this. I know some have said that children need to learn at an early age that they won't always be included, etc. But I have some students who would never be brought pizza or be asked to share lunch date with another student and his or her mom. Friendships (or lack of them) and being excluded are something they have to deal with everyday. If you would like to bring pizza, bring it for the whole class, not just a select few. It couldn't possibly be that much more. We have parents that will bring McDonalds for their child, which is fine. We have a grandpa that will bring McDonalds for his grandson, but bring french fries for everyone else in the class. The kids love it!

 

[Daxx]

At DS's school (private), they are not allowed to bring any fast food into the cafeteria. From what I understand, it basically means that if you have a dentist appt. and you stop off at McD's to pick up lunch, you can't bring that into the cafe.

I wonder what would happen if someone brought in leftover fast-food in w/them (ie: leftover Subway sub)? Not that I'm going to "test the waters" w/that!

Our school is a "free for all" when it comes to food. They let the kids use the microwave and have it in the cafe itself. I find that stupid b/c think of the lawsuits if the kids spilled something hot on themselves while using it! Anyway, I've seen parents drop off the gamut of fast food for their kids. Today, I think there were 3 in my class whose parents dropped of McD's or BK.

 

[doxdogy]

So in your world it is okay to open the door to a complete stranger. Yet you don't want a parent eating lunch with your child? What is the difference? They are both.....STRANGERS. And actually your child has more of chance of being assaulted by a stranger knocking at your door. And until we had a the dogs, I did not open a door to a stranger. Therefore, you have no right to make an assumption about an adult that will not answer the door to a stranger. In my instance it is because I am only 5'2" and weigh about 110lbs. A full grown fifth grader could probably overtake me.

Also what rights are being violated by having a parent volunteer at the school? I see no violation of any rights. A parent volunteering THEIR time at a school is no different then a paid teacher's aide. Most school districts do not have the funds available to have a paid teacher's aide. So they have to rely on the help of parents. And since you are relaying the same gossip you have heard, you are really doing the same thing that you are rambling on about. I really think that you are just borrowing trouble.

Thats me! It is a whole different ball game opening your door when someone knocks and having strangers sitting with my child without me there. Now if my daughter was home alone and someone knocked I would say don't answer it, but for an adult to be afraid to answer their one door is another story.
I don't agree with having parents in the rooms helping kids with school work, it only leads to gossiping about other peoples children and how bad they are, or how this one can't read, or how this one stinks like smoke-and YES I have heard parents saying things like that who go to school that allow that sort of parental "help" in the classrooms-to me its a violation of a childs privacy. As far as sitting by my child when I am not there I don't like that-who knows if one of those parents can follow your child in to the bathroom at the school...just leaves the child open to trouble I believe. I prefer it the way our school work, it works for us.

 

[Princess Stitch]

When I was in elementary school we never had a cafeteria and I remember some kids getting fast food from their parents once in a while. My parents both worked full time so I never got any special treats like that.. sandwiches every day! If there was a birthday or it was valentines day or something my mom would send treats for the WHOLE class, but I was only allowed to invite a few people to my birthday party, and there were alot of parties I didn't get invited to.

I turned out fine! I don't even have a problem with the mom who brought pizza for her daughter and her friends ... you know what, life is like that.. things aren't fair, not everyone is equal and has the same opportunities. I think if kids grow up always expecting to have an equal share and being invited everywhere then they're gonig to be horribly disappointed one day.

 

[friend of pooh]

Are you serious? Parents come in to my children's schools all the time to volunteer. Some weeks I feel like I live there! Are you suggesting that parents not be allowed in the school building?

To clear things up for those who so kindly jumped on me instead of asking for clarification or thinking about what I said from a different perspective, I am a teacher. Maybe it is the area I teach in, but I wouldn't be comfortable with parents/family members being allowed in for lunch and things of the sort. While you might be a wonderful person, many parents aren't. Do you want a drug dealer sitting near your child? How about a felon? Unfortunately those are the parents of many kids these days. I am not paranoid. I deal day in and day out with this. I have seen collegues threatened by parents. I wouldn't want that parent hanging out with my child. That's all I was trying to say. Again, it may be that we are just in very different areas.

 

[grlpwrd]

To clear things up for those who so kindly jumped on me instead of asking for clarification or thinking about what I said from a different perspective, I am a teacher. Maybe it is the area I teach in, but I wouldn't be comfortable with parents/family members being allowed in for lunch and things of the sort. While you might be a wonderful person, many parents aren't. Do you want a drug dealer sitting near your child? How about a felon? Unfortunately those are the parents of many kids these days. I am not paranoid. I deal day in and day out with this. I have seen collegues threatened by parents. I wouldn't want that parent hanging out with my child. That's all I was trying to say. Again, it may be that we are just in very different areas.

Oh my goodness, what area are you teaching? Yikes.

 

[castleview]

When I was in elementary school we never had a cafeteria and I remember some kids getting fast food from their parents once in a while. My parents both worked full time so I never got any special treats like that.. sandwiches every day! If there was a birthday or it was valentines day or something my mom would send treats for the WHOLE class, but I was only allowed to invite a few people to my birthday party, and there were alot of parties I didn't get invited to.

I turned out fine! I don't even have a problem with the mom who brought pizza for her daughter and her friends ... you know what, life is like that.. things aren't fair, not everyone is equal and has the same opportunities. I think if kids grow up always expecting to have an equal share and being invited everywhere then they're gonig to be horribly disappointed one day.

I agree that life isn't fair, but that doesn't mean you should be an unfair person. I certainly won't teach my kid to be a victim because someone excluded her from the "pizza group". However, I will teach my kid that it's not very nice to exclude other kids from a group. Does it happen? Sure. Should you at least have a conscience. Yeah! Whatever happened to being considerate?

 

[TDC Nala]

I think it is nobody else's business what anybody else gives or brings their child to eat.

 

[Princess Stitch]

I agree that life isn't fair, but that doesn't mean you should be an unfair person. I certainly won't teach my kid to be a victim because someone excluded her from the "pizza group". However, I will teach my kid that it's not very nice to exclude other kids from a group. Does it happen? Sure. Should you at least have a conscience. Yeah! Whatever happened to being considerate?

Fair enough. The world would be a better placee if more adults were considerate too. I'm not suggesting you teach her that she should only be nice to her closest friends. I just think this new generation of kids is being brought up too soft. It's not about teaching them to be a victim, it's about teaching them that not everyone gets included all the time. Kinda OT but I even heard somewhere once that teachers are no longer allowed to use red pens when correcting papers because it make kids feel bad about themselves. I mean, come on!

I DO think that it would be nicer though that instead of brining the pizza to the clasroom, the mother got permission to take her daughter and her friends out to eat instead. That way they wouldn't have to be shoving it in the faces of the other kids.