Opinions on Confrontations?

[mmexpress]

If there is a problem with someone's child you approach the parents, you have NO right correcting a person's child especially if you don't know them.

 

[3girls4me05]

If there is a problem with someone's child you approach the parents, you have NO right correcting a person's child especially if you don't know them.

How about if you don't even know who the kids parents are? When my kids were playing with the CM and the beach balls while waiting for the MK parade to start there was a group of kids who were getting too rough. They were diving for the ball, pushing kids away so they could get it etc.. The CM had said something to them, she looked around searching the crowd for their parents etc.. Well I said nothing till my child was the one who got pushed down (and as a result cut her heel). Then I said in my sternest teacher voice that they needed to be more careful. I told them they were bigger than some of the other kids and needed to watch out for them. I have no regrets about doing that. I will also tell a child "Be careful sweetie" if I see them climbing too high and the parent is not paying attention. If I can get a parent and draw their attention to it I will. One day we were at Animal Kingdom and a dad was pushing two young kids in a stroller. Well one of them had pulled off the foam fan blade of his portable fan and was about to put it in his mouth. All that was left was a sharp, long metal rod. I stopped the dad and pointed it out to him. He thanked me and took it away from the child (after he almost passed out when he saw what the child had done and was about to do)
So yes, if you can get the parents attention then do so but if not and the child is being a danger to himself or others then I have no problems saying something
But then I am the mean lady who also tells teenagers to watch their language please because their is young children around when they are swearing. They have always apologized and stopped!

 

[dolphindan1]

If there is a problem with someone's child you approach the parents, you have NO right correcting a person's child especially if you don't know them.

See thats the attitude that has made society part what it is now. Children do think they need to listen to anyone but there parents. Thats why schools have no control over a child. Parent wont allow....

I tell my childrens teacher they are the gaurdians and discipline as see fit. We trust our kids with the people several hours a day 5 days a week , 180 days a year and then tell them they cant say nothing to them...I call BS

I have every right to say something to a child if he is disrupting, in danger, or about to in danger my family...Every right...

What happens when you child start there first job and they get chewed out by the boss, you gonna confront there boss. Or does the boss call home and get your permission. What happens if your child makes the school team and goofs up and gets chewed out you gonna confront the coach...

Fact is if you child is in my way...I not gonna ask you to tell them to move....WHY? cause if they are in my way you obviously are not paying attention to them anyway....its silly to think that an adult cannot say anything to a child without fear of being confronted by a parent...

Now if an adult is verbally assaulting or has his hands on a child then yes thats a different story...But a noisy kid on a ride and we are half way through the ride and you havent said anything to the kid yet, then you are not gonna and I am. Then you and I can talk after we get off the ride...

For example...I coach a 11-12 year old boys basketball team. We had practice tonight they got loud and unruly, and I had to yell loudly for them to be quiet and then I made them run....several parents were sitting there and they never said a word and thats how it should be...JMHO

 

[jamstew]

Duplicate post--sorry.

 

[jamstew]

If there is a problem with someone's child you approach the parents, you have NO right correcting a person's child especially if you don't know them.

And you, as the parent, have the responsibility to properly supervise them and be sure they aren't behaving in ways that disturb, disrupt or offend others. Not all parents do, and sometimes the parents are nowhere to be found.

 

[luvthemouse71]

How about if you don't even know who the kids parents are? When my kids were playing with the CM and the beach balls while waiting for the MK parade to start there was a group of kids who were getting too rough. They were diving for the ball, pushing kids away so they could get it etc.. The CM had said something to them, she looked around searching the crowd for their parents etc.. Well I said nothing till my child was the one who got pushed down (and as a result cut her heel). Then I said in my sternest teacher voice that they needed to be more careful. I told them they were bigger than some of the other kids and needed to watch out for them. I have no regrets about doing that. I will also tell a child "Be careful sweetie" if I see them climbing too high and the parent is not paying attention. If I can get a parent and draw their attention to it I will. One day we were at Animal Kingdom and a dad was pushing two young kids in a stroller. Well one of them had pulled off the foam fan blade of his portable fan and was about to put it in his mouth. All that was left was a sharp, long metal rod. I stopped the dad and pointed it out to him. He thanked me and took it away from the child (after he almost passed out when he saw what the child had done and was about to do)
So yes, if you can get the parents attention then do so but if not and the child is being a danger to himself or others then I have no problems saying something
But then I am the mean lady who also tells teenagers to watch their language please because their is young children around when they are swearing. They have always apologized and stopped![/QU

It comes down to this, IMHO. If the parent isn't going to correct their kid, someone has to, especially if others are being affected. That's why some many of these kids are brats..no healthy fear of adults. Such brats often have a hard time of it in adulthood, when other people don't tolerate their crap.

 

[luvthemouse71]

See thats the attitude that has made society part what it is now. Children do think they need to listen to anyone but there parents. Thats why schools have no control over a child. Parent wont allow....

I tell my childrens teacher they are the gaurdians and discipline as see fit. We trust our kids with the people several hours a day 5 days a week , 180 days a year and then tell them they cant say nothing to them...I call BS

I have every right to say something to a child if he is disrupting, in danger, or about to in danger my family...Every right...

What happens when you child start there first job and they get chewed out by the boss, you gonna confront there boss. Or does the boss call home and get your permission. What happens if your child makes the school team and goofs up and gets chewed out you gonna confront the coach...

Fact is if you child is in my way...I not gonna ask you to tell them to move....WHY? cause if they are in my way you obviously are not paying attention to them anyway....its silly to think that an adult cannot say anything to a child without fear of being confronted by a parent...

Now if an adult is verbally assaulting or has his hands on a child then yes thats a different story...But a noisy kid on a ride and we are half way through the ride and you havent said anything to the kid yet, then you are not gonna and I am. Then you and I can talk after we get off the ride...

For example...I coach a 11-12 year old boys basketball team. We had practice tonight they got loud and unruly, and I had to yell loudly for them to be quiet and then I made them run....several parents were sitting there and they never said a word and thats how it should be...JMHO

Ha, I've worked with people who have had their MOM call in sick for them!! People in their 20s! So, apparently, too permissive parenting does come back to bite everyone in the butt.

 

[mmexpress]

Don't get me wrong, I did not say do nothing, I will confront the parents.
I had a child on a flight in the seat behind me on the way to disney that kept kicking and banging the back of my seat.
After about 10 minutes of it I turned and told the father "the next time she kicks my seat I'm going to kick you." It got a little heated after that.

 

[3girls4me05]

Don't get me wrong, I did not say do nothing, I will confront the parents.
I had a child on a flight in the seat behind me on the way to disney that kept kicking and banging the back of my seat.
After about 10 minutes of it I turned and told the father "the next time she kicks my seat I'm going to kick you." It got a little heated after that.

Gee you think? I can't imagine why!

 

[dawnj99]

I personally am one who is constantly on my children in public, probably much more than I should be, about noise level, bumping others etc but there have been occasions when I have been preoccupied with one child when my high strung son who seems to always have ants in his pants will start hopping or twirling etc and I don't catch it quickly enough before someone else is impacted. I would not be very happy if that someone else decided to lecture or correct my child rather than say to me, excuse me but he keeps bumping me could you maybe talk with him. You never know the circumstances of some children either, I have a friend who has a 6 year old who does ok in crowds, movies, parks whatever as long as stangers don't talk to her, charachters don't mess with her etc. But even a, wow what a pretty dress from a stranger, would send her into tears.
There are times, such as coaches on sports teams, teacher etc, when you have basically given consent for them to disipline your child whether you are present or not, but to me a complete stranger in a theme park is not one of those time.

Is it always possible to talk with the parent first, maybe not, if that child or another appears to be immediate danger, of course you can't wait, but if there just bumping you or being annoying, I think it can hold until you could discuss it with the parent.

 

[JenniferK]

See thats the attitude that has made society part what it is now. Children don't think they need to listen to anyone but there parents. Thats why schools have no control over a child. Parent wont allow....

I tell my childrens teacher they are the gaurdians and discipline as see fit. We trust our kids with the people several hours a day 5 days a week , 180 days a year and then tell them they cant say nothing to them...I call BS

I have every right to say something to a child if he is disrupting, in danger, or about to in danger my family...Every right...

What happens when you child start there first job and they get chewed out by the boss, you gonna confront there boss. Or does the boss call home and get your permission. What happens if your child makes the school team and goofs up and gets chewed out you gonna confront the coach...

Fact is if you child is in my way...I not gonna ask you to tell them to move....WHY? cause if they are in my way you obviously are not paying attention to them anyway....its silly to think that an adult cannot say anything to a child without fear of being confronted by a parent...

Now if an adult is verbally assaulting or has his hands on a child then yes thats a different story...But a noisy kid on a ride and we are half way through the ride and you havent said anything to the kid yet, then you are not gonna and I am. Then you and I can talk after we get off the ride...

For example...I coach a 11-12 year old boys basketball team. We had practice tonight they got loud and unruly, and I had to yell loudly for them to be quiet and then I made them run....several parents were sitting there and they never said a word and thats how it should be...JMHO

This is exactly what I was thinking (especially the bolded parts). When I was growing up I (and my friends) had a (healthy) fear of authority - fear and respect. Adults in general, but especially police, teachers, etc. I am flabbergasted at the way I see kids commonly act today. I am not just talking about the occasional kids, there have always been those. But there are alot of them. Foul mouths and nasty behavior and they don't seem to care who is around to witness it. Most likely because they know their parents would never "allow" anyone else to say boo to them. This does them no favors because some day they will need to live in the real world and will have to answer for their behavior. If my kid is doing something wrong, I have no problem if someone else tells him so, just so long as they are not abusive about it.

 

[dolphindan1]

This is exactly what I was thinking (especially the bolded parts). When I was growing up I (and my friends) had a (healthy) fear of authority - fear and respect. Adults in general, but especially police, teachers, etc. I am flabbergasted at the way I see kids commonly act today. I am not just talking about the occasional kids, there have always been those. But there are alot of them. Foul mouths and nasty behavior and they don't seem to care who is around to witness it. Most likely because they know their parents would never "allow" anyone else to say boo to them. This does them no favors because some day they will need to live in the real world and will have to answer for their behavior. If my kid is doing something wrong, I have no problem if someone else tells him so, just so long as they are not abusive about it.

 

[MickeyNicki]

I have my DH help me keep my big mouth shut! I am the first to admit that I am a hot blooded Italian and I say whatever is on my mind...DH is the cool level headed one that everything rolls off his back. Once I caught an elbow in the neck from some guy pushing to get off the monorail and if DH didnt remind me that it was an accident this guy would have had an ACCIDENT!

So to keep DH and I and I out of trouble and not get kicked out of WDW I zip my lips!

 

[iggbees]

i get annoyed when there's a huge line for the bus and the busses leave less than half full because people decide that they want to stop at the front to stand. i will be as nice as possible, but i have been known to ask people to please keep moving back to get more people on the bus. i get a lot of nasty looks. i just don't get why it's such a big deal to keep moving to the back of the bus?? i take the bus a LOT around home and never encounter the level of rudeness that i do down at wdw with people stopping and not letting anyone else on. i wish the bus drivers would announce that there are a lot of people waiting and to keep moving back. they used to. those were the days...

 

[marsrunner]

I certainly wasn't trying to start a debate about parenting, but I still say that if anyone tries to tell my kid what to do they are going to have a serious problem with me. I'm not talking about a teacher, police officer or anyone else in authority, I'm talking about some yahoo that doesn't know me or my kids from Adam. I take full responsibility for my kids and they behave the way my wife and I have taught them to behave. If they do not, then my wife or I will be the ones to correct them. I personally do not care one whit if anybody else approves or disapproves of the way my kids act. I know that they are well behaved and respectful of everyone around them, and they are no one else's responsibility but ours. You have a problem with my kids, take it up with me or my wife.
Sorry, I know there are other good parents on here and elsewhere, but I don't know who is or isn't, and I don't want anyone else trying to parent my kids for me. We do a good enough job all on our own.

 

[dolphindan1]

I certainly wasn't trying to start a debate about parenting, but I still say that if anyone tries to tell my kid what to do they are going to have a serious problem with me. I'm not talking about a teacher, police officer or anyone else in authority, I'm talking about some yahoo that doesn't know me or my kids from Adam. I take full responsibility for my kids and they behave the way my wife and I have taught them to behave. If they do not, then my wife or I will be the ones to correct them. I personally do not care one whit if anybody else approves or disapproves of the way my kids act. I know that they are well behaved and respectful of everyone around them, and they are no one else's responsibility but ours. You have a problem with my kids, take it up with me or my wife.
Sorry, I know there are other good parents on here and elsewhere, but I don't know who is or isn't, and I don't want anyone else trying to parent my kids for me. We do a good enough job all on our own.

I think you are taking this waaaaayyyyy to personal...no one is saying you are a bad parent...its just everyone has different opinions or philosophies....You know teachers, police officers or whoever are adults and parents too....To me adults have authority over a child no matter who they are....How do you know the person that says something to your child is not just a teacher on vacation....whats the difference...none....I am sorry but if I ever say something to your kid trust me it will be with the utmost respect and concern for everyone involved...I wouldnt say something just to say it...you see my point....

example...waiting for the buses...we are standing by you and your child is about to run in front of the bus and you are preoccupied with something else, lets face it kids have a way I drifiting off, You would prefer I not say something to him to keep him out of harms way...the bus coming mind...you would rather me find you and try and get your attention and let your child just stay in the bus path.....sorry You would just have to be pissed at me....

I am just using that as an example...nothing personal....

 

[JenniferK]

Once again I agree. My comments were not directed to anyone in particular. Just to say that I think in general it is common for kids to not respect authority these days and I still do believe it has alot to do with the feeling that they do not need to answer to anyone (except maybe their parents, and really in some cases not even then). This is also where alot of the entitlement attitude comes in. If your children are well-behaved and you pay attention to them than this shouldn't be an issue for you anyway.

It probably sounded like I just go around correcting other children all the time, which I don't. I will only say something if the child is in danger (or their actions put someone else in direct danger). Or if they are being exceptionally obnoxious, especially if it is directly towards my family and no one else is dealing with it, either because the parents are unknown or just don't care. That said, for me personally I still don't mind if other people correct my child if he is really doing something wrong. I think it teaches him that he needs to respect other people and can't do as he pleases, even if Mommy and Daddy can't/don't see what he is doing (sorry, but an important lesson in my eyes). And hey, sometimes it enhances what I am saying - my kid is pretty well behaved, but he has his moments like all kids do. We were at the grocery store one time and he was really being a bear, and would not listen to me. A lady there wagged her finger at him and told him he should mind his mommy and start behaving. I was not offended at all, in fact I thanked her. He just looked at her wide eyed and stopped dead in his tracks - behaved the rest of the shopping trip.

I also want to clarify that I am not talking about someone who screams at other people's kids or talks/acts in an abusive manner toward them (I would be pissed if someone did that to my kid too). Or someone who seems to be correcting them for the sake of doing so rather than because it is warranted. And lastly, I am not talking about putting someone else's kids in a timeout or anything, lol.

 

[Disneyadore]

I’m not pointing out to anyone but the “ if anyone tries to tell my kid what to do” attitude makes me even stronger in my belief not to let any ones child to stand in front of me watch the parade.

I’m not allowed to say anything if this kid is stamping on my feet, drools his ice-cream over my shoes, jumps up and down so I can’t take pictures ,is screaming and pushing me aside just to talk to mommy and so on and on.

I’m also very afraid of even touching a child by accident because some parents are very obsessed regarding this subject even if they asked me to let their child stand in front of me.

I know it’s not my child but your child has no right to spoil my vacation because it’s behaving bad.

 

[marsrunner]

I know it’s not my child but your child has no right to spoil my vacation because it’s behaving bad.

Well, my kids wouldn't be acting like that. If they were, the child in question would be removed from the situation by my wife or myself.
In the situation you mentioned, you don't have the right to tell the child what to do...you either find a CM or talk to the parent.

example...waiting for the buses...we are standing by you and your child is about to run in front of the bus and you are preoccupied with something else, lets face it kids have a way I drifiting off, You would prefer I not say something to him to keep him out of harms way...the bus coming mind...you would rather me find you and try and get your attention and let your child just stay in the bus path.....sorry You would just have to be pissed at me....

I would not have any problem with you saving my kids life. That's just silly. I wasn't talking about a situation like this. I'm talking more along the lines of telling my child to be quiet or correcting his/her (non-life-threatening) behavior; i.e. language, whatever. I would expect someone to have the respect for the parent to talk to the parent instead of the child.

Not taking this personally, I don't care if anyone says I'm a bad parent or not (not that anyone has). I just don't think that anyone else has the right to parent my children. Maybe if you'd lived the life my wife and I had, you'd understand.

And I'm sorry, but a teacher on vacation is not an authority figure. I mean a teacher at my child's school, or a police officer or whatever who is actually on duty.

I know people say this all the time, and you can take it or leave it, but my kids don't require supervision from anyone else. And I'll just leave it at that. I just know that I don't tell anyone else's kids how to behave because I wouldn't want them doing that to me. If it is intrusive on my experience, I talk to the parents, and if that doesn't work, I find a CM.

 

[Disneyadore]

example...waiting for the buses...we are standing by you and your child is about to run in front of the bus and you are preoccupied with something else, lets face it kids have a way I drifiting off, You would prefer I not say something to him to keep him out of harms way...the bus coming mind...you would rather me find you and try and get your attention and let your child just stay in the bus path.....sorry You would just have to be pissed at me....

And even then I just keep my mouth closed with a zipper.
We do see very dangerous situations were kids really bring there own life in danger.

In the winter when the river gets high and the water is streaming very strong we do see kids playing almost in the river. The water is cold and you only have a minute ore four before the cold parallelizes you.

In the summer when the water is low the children play also in that same river.
As barges passes by the under stream of the water gets very strong and might pull somebody in the water. Even an adult can be pulled under water.

These kids are not alone but guarded by there parents.

We did see this happen more than once. We did try to warn the parents but just got a shu...up... as an answer ore mind your own business.
My husband is a barge captain and has been asked to many times by the police to look out for a child that disappeared in the water


Now a days we just look away if we do see a dangerous situation and do mind our own business.

The most scaring thing is that a dog owner is more concerned about his dog when we warn him than some parents about there children.