Opinions on Confrontations?

[themilesfamily]

I haven't read through the whole thread, but here's my take. I don't confront anyone about anything at Disney. It's my vacation and confrontation is just going to leave me with a bad memory that I don't want.

And I don't think it's necessary for me to go around confronting people. Disney has staff that is employed to enforce the rules and I'm going to trust them to do the very best job they can.

I just want to show up, be happy and enjoy my vacation and my family! Honestly, it doesn't really bother me if someone cuts a line or whatever -- those type of people are in the vast minority. I feel the majority of people at Disney follow the rules and things at Disney are usually pretty orderly.

And it actually makes me feel uncomfortable when I see people confronting or arguing with other people at Disney. It spoils the magic.

 

[J3nn78]

Be polite but stand your ground
On our last trip I encountered a rude and pushy bunch. We found our parade spot 2 hours before Spectro. We were 7 people and for the most part we all waited together. No one was off riding rides to pass the time. At one point 2 members went for food. Then my 3 year old suddenly had to go to the bathroom, so DH took him. It was very crowded and now only 20 minutes from parade time. Some woman kept trying to push her children in front of me in my scooter and our stroller. I nicely told her those seats were taken. She tried to argue with me that it was not fair because her children wanted to see. She was being VERY pushy and insistent. Finally I told her that if she wanted her kids to see, she should have gotten there more than 15 minutes before parade time and we had waited for 2 hours. I then put my crutches between me and the stroller so they could not come between. She stood behind me griping for the whole parade.

 

[Suellen]

Wow, wow, wow.

I certainly can tell who has small children, older children and NO children.

My children are respectful of all adults and would listen to anyone who told them to or not to do something. When I am saying you shouldn't be correcting my kids behaviour there are a few facts you should take into conisderation:

1. You are a stranger to them not a teacher.
2. You have NO idea what things might cause my kids behaviour (my 3year old is OCD ~ you don't know that! not all disablities are visable)
3. My children are small and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER unattented or unwatched by me or my husband.
4. Of course if she was in danger ~ please do something.... of course (at the Aquarium the other day I saw an 18 month old running from his dad at a better clip than dad, I sqautted down and swept my arm in front of him to slow him down for dad)
5. As far as teenagers go or unattended children... then the same rules apply as if they were an adult... because by sending them off on their own you are essentially saying they are old enough to make their own smart decisions.

As I said in my first post. I have only said something to an Adult twice. Once for dropping the F bomb about my 11 month old and once for not watching their kids.

 

[Suellen]

Forgot to add two things:

1. If my kid is in front of you at a parade ~ and I am not there ~ please notify a CM because she is LOST!

2. My biggest, biggest, biggest gripe is the smokers you don't smoke in the designated areas and blow their smoke directly at my children or myself. (The location of the smoking area at Pop drives me insane!)

 

[jjpenguin]

See thats the attitude that has made society part what it is now. Children do think they need to listen to anyone but there parents. Thats why schools have no control over a child. Parent wont allow....

I tell my childrens teacher they are the gaurdians and discipline as see fit. We trust our kids with the people several hours a day 5 days a week , 180 days a year and then tell them they cant say nothing to them...I call BS

I have every right to say something to a child if he is disrupting, in danger, or about to in danger my family...Every right...

What happens when you child start there first job and they get chewed out by the boss, you gonna confront there boss. Or does the boss call home and get your permission. What happens if your child makes the school team and goofs up and gets chewed out you gonna confront the coach...

Fact is if you child is in my way...I not gonna ask you to tell them to move....WHY? cause if they are in my way you obviously are not paying attention to them anyway....its silly to think that an adult cannot say anything to a child without fear of being confronted by a parent...

Now if an adult is verbally assaulting or has his hands on a child then yes thats a different story...But a noisy kid on a ride and we are half way through the ride and you havent said anything to the kid yet, then you are not gonna and I am. Then you and I can talk after we get off the ride...

For example...I coach a 11-12 year old boys basketball team. We had practice tonight they got loud and unruly, and I had to yell loudly for them to be quiet and then I made them run....several parents were sitting there and they never said a word and thats how it should be...JMHO

Bravo!
I volunteer in the local zoo, and will often ask children to stop climbing on things where they are not supposed too, as this often happens while the parents are just looking on and saying nothing. If you don't feel responsible enough for your kids behaviour to allow him/her to break the rules, well then I will have to take over that responsibility.

The root of the bad behaviour is IMHO the fact that a lot of people nowadays feel that the world revolves around them and that common courtesy and "do as you would be done to" is nowhere to be found, it's all about me, me, me!

My gut respons is usually a sarcastic comment, but I feel it's not the right way to behave as it does lower you to the level of the 'offender'. I'm teaching myself to politely let the person know what the problem is.

In general at WDW I try not to let things get to me, and just enjoy my vacation, but I do have things I really hate and those are based on the "me, me, me" attitude, such as people not moving all the way down the row, making it difficult for everyone behind them, flash photography where it's not allowed, ruining the atmosphere for everyone else in the ride etc.

 

[Sparkie]

I've been reading this thread for a couple of days now and this is what I think..... for what its worth


It takes a village to raise a child.

What happened to the days when, you, the kid, couldnt do anything in the neighborhood without the neighbor next door knowing about it, correcting it and then telling your parents only for you, the kid, to get into trouble again?

I would appreciate the assist from other parents if you were to see my teens acting in a way that was rude, disrespectful, or dangerous.

I would appreciate another parent helping me to keep my toddler safe. We all know that they move like lightening and I cant keep my eye on them all the time but if I have extra eyes to assist me that is great.

So I think its ok to gently guide a child in the right direction if needed. I'm not saying you have to be mean. I dont think I would correct a child if that child were in the immediate presence of their parent because of course, that job is the parents first, I'm just the back up. But if kids are unattended or apprear to be unattended then it is the responsibility of the "village".

I know that there are others out there who will not agree and that is ok. I promise, I'm not going to be mean to anybody's elses child BUT if you see one of mine misbehave (because i also know that even though you have taught your kids to be respectful that sometimes when they are out of your sight they forget what they are taught) so if one of mine misbehaves, is causing a nuscience, is putting themselves or someone else in danger, you have my permission to correct them on the spot.


I also agree with another poster that causing the BIG SCREAMING CONFRONTATION is really not worth it. So choose your battles carefully. Most of the time you can tell which parents would be appreciative and which will make it a big deal.... let Disney deal with those situations.... it seems to me that there are some people who are just looking for confrontation and to offer a parental assist to those type is just adding fuel to their fire and nobody wants to be FLAMED. (so be gentle fellow readers)

 

[Sparkie]

Let me add another story... A confrontation that I witnessed......

July 2007 we were at the POP Century pool- the lifeguard told a child that she had to get out of the pool - the little girl about 10 or 11 went to her mother crying, saying that the lifeguard made her get out of the pool for no reason- we watched a very large mom (not overweight but a big woman) stride purposefully over to the lifeguard- she was going to give him a piece of her mind and how dare he kick her baby out of the pool- that kind of walk- well, she approached the lifeguard and asked what the child had done, the child was on mama's heels waiting on mama to get that mean lifeguard for putting her out of the pool-......... the guard politely told the mom, that he put her child out of the pool because the child was cursing the other children........... Mama, turned on her heel, snatched her child by the arm and last we saw they were headed towards their room.

So initially, the mom was mad because she thought someone was being mean to her child but her usually respectful daughter, who out of the presence of her mother, misbehaved, got in trouble ...... not once but twice.

My DH and I were so proud of that mom for doing the right thing..... she wanted to be mad at the guard but when she heard the entire story, mom handled it.

 

[WolfpackFan]

I had a situation last week where it came close to a confrontation but I just finally let it go. It was Christmas Day and we were down near the entrance of MK watching the parade. I was standing watching with about 2-3 feet between myself and the person in front. This lady, who looked to be in her 50's and was obviously of a foreign nationality, all of a sudden just pushed right in front of me. Well I just kind of stepped back thinking she was trying to join her family or something. She then turned around and motioned with her hand for someone to join her. This person came up and shoved in front of me and joined her. She then repeated the process and a third person joined the group. This time I stood my ground and wouldn't let the person get around me. But the lady in front kept motioning and giving me the evil eye, so the person finally shoved me aside. All three so far were ladies about the same age. Then they did it a fourth time and a man joined them. I finally just said the heck with it, said "Merry Christmas" to them and walked away. If they wanted my space that bad they could have it.

 

[RobinFabulous]

I’m not pointing out to anyone but the “ if anyone tries to tell my kid what to do” attitude makes me even stronger in my belief not to let any ones child to stand in front of me watch the parade.

I’m not allowed to say anything if this kid is stamping on my feet, drools his ice-cream over my shoes, jumps up and down so I can’t take pictures ,is screaming and pushing me aside just to talk to mommy and so on and on.

I’m also very afraid of even touching a child by accident because some parents are very obsessed regarding this subject even if they asked me to let their child stand in front of me.

I know it’s not my child but your child has no right to spoil my vacation because it’s behaving bad.

You know, my whole problem with someone saying something to another person's child is this..... You have no idea about that child. My child is autistic, and by looking at him, you'd never know it, any maybe he did exhibit behaviors that are non-typical. So basically behaviors that YOU deem as "bad" may or may not be.. Now I'm NOT excusing crappy parenting (which I saw in Disney myself) but sometimes there are underlying things there...

At the block party bash he proceeded to sit down and examine his Mickey bar. He looked at every bit of it, then pulled the chocolate coating off. He made a huge mess, but it was all over him, not his neighbor. The woman standing next to him looked on in horror. It's just his way though, and he wasn't "hurting or bothering" anyone. I'm the one that had to wipe all the sticky off him and his shorts.

I know plenty of kids (special needs and typical) that just get excited and bounce, now if a super excited child accidentally gets your foot, I'm sorry, but hey it's Disney World, there are kids there. I know lots of kids with ADD that are like that when excited....

So maybe, just maybe a child's behavior isn't "good" or "bad" maybe in some situations it's because of what the child is dealing with.....


JMHO

 

[boxer]

See thats the attitude that has made society part what it is now. Children do think they need to listen to anyone but there parents. Thats why schools have no control over a child. Parent wont allow....

I tell my childrens teacher they are the gaurdians and discipline as see fit. We trust our kids with the people several hours a day 5 days a week , 180 days a year and then tell them they cant say nothing to them...I call BS

I have every right to say something to a child if he is disrupting, in danger, or about to in danger my family...Every right...

What happens when you child start there first job and they get chewed out by the boss, you gonna confront there boss. Or does the boss call home and get your permission. What happens if your child makes the school team and goofs up and gets chewed out you gonna confront the coach...

Fact is if you child is in my way...I not gonna ask you to tell them to move....WHY? cause if they are in my way you obviously are not paying attention to them anyway....its silly to think that an adult cannot say anything to a child without fear of being confronted by a parent...

Now if an adult is verbally assaulting or has his hands on a child then yes thats a different story...But a noisy kid on a ride and we are half way through the ride and you havent said anything to the kid yet, then you are not gonna and I am. Then you and I can talk after we get off the ride...

For example...I coach a 11-12 year old boys basketball team. We had practice tonight they got loud and unruly, and I had to yell loudly for them to be quiet and then I made them run....several parents were sitting there and they never said a word and thats how it should be...JMHO

You're missing the point I was trying to make.......teachers and coaches are PUT into authority, and recognized as such. I would expect (and would completely allow) you to discipline my son (if you are his coach/teacher), because YOU WERE PUT INTO THAT POSITION.

Conversly, if I didn't know you, and you yelled at one of my kids at Disney World (where you have no authority), we'd have a problem. I don't know you, nor do you know my children, so unless they are hurting your kids you have NO reason to correct or say anything to them. If there is that much of an issue, go get the parents and let THEM do the yelling.

If kids are yelling on a ride, or swearing, or whatever----go get a CM, go get their parents, go get the grandparents, etc. I don't think anyone should take it upon themselves to discipline SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD.

 

[SpectroMax]

Just my take, but you guys really are arguing over misunderstandings.

For those of you saying that "noone should ever discipline my kid" you probably will never have to worry about that because you obviosly keep an eye on your kid and take care of the child yourself.

The problems arise from the parent whose mentality is "my kid is at WDW he will do what ever the hell he likes and tough for those of you who don't like it." From what I've read that personality doesn't apply to anyone here. If it does we are in disagreement.

Secondly, for the most part when you correct someone elses child it tends to be kid in the 10-16 age range that is unattended by parents. Sorry but if you let your 12 year old run wild in the park and he tries to cut me in line he's not getting by and if the parent of said brat wants a confrontation he or she will get all she wants.

Now when it comes to young kids the correct approach would probably be to ask the kid "where are your parents" then tell the parents to get controll of the kid. I know this is gonna piss them off, but if you don't want to be told that, keep control of your rugrat in the first place.

My point is there are plenty of times when it is acceptable to correct a child and plenty of times when it is not. You guys can sit here all day and come up with times that it is and isn't acceptable and argue both ends of the discussion.


Acceptable:
Rude preteens cutting line, any child in danger, an unattended child in front of me at the parade when mommy and daddy are 4 rows deep and left him up there sorry but if you don't want him to get corrected don't let the little devil run rampant. I'm not missing out to come find you to take care of your problem when all I have to do is politely and athoritatively ask the kid to back off.

Not Acceptable:
See above but mommy and daddy are simply preocupied and sitting right next to me not noticing what the child is doing. In this case I would take it up with them. An unattended special needs child (really, how many people wouldn't alert a CM!? and how many parents would let them out of their sight in the first place?) An unattended young child (again alert the CM of the lost child). Berating or threatening a child for any reason.

Flame away

 

[princesswendy720]

I thought this thread was supposed to be about encountering and confronting rude people at the parks...

Maybe we can start to steer it away from a debate on parenting/disciplining and someone will have another story about how they delt or chose not to deal with a rude/pushy person at WDW?

Anyone?

 

[boxer]

Just my take, but you guys really are arguing over misunderstandings.

For those of you saying that "noone should ever discipline my kid" you probably will never have to worry about that because you obviosly keep an eye on your kid and take care of the child yourself.

The problems arise from the parent whose mentality is "my kid is at WDW he will do what ever the hell he likes and tough for those of you who don't like it." From what I've read that personality doesn't apply to anyone here. If it does we are in disagreement.

Secondly, for the most part when you correct someone elses child it tends to be kid in the 10-16 age range that is unattended by parents. Sorry but if you let your 12 year old run wild in the park and he tries to cut me in line he's not getting by and if the parent of said brat wants a confrontation he or she will get all she wants.

Now when it comes to young kids the correct approach would probably be to ask the kid "where are your parents" then tell the parents to get controll of the kid. I know this is gonna piss them off, but if you don't want to be told that, keep control of your rugrat in the first place.

My point is there are plenty of times when it is acceptable to correct a child and plenty of times when it is not. You guys can sit here all day and come up with times that it is and isn't acceptable and argue both ends of the discussion.


Acceptable:
Rude preteens cutting line, any child in danger, an unattended child in front of me at the parade when mommy and daddy are 4 rows deep and left him up there sorry but if you don't want him to get corrected don't let the little devil run rampant. I'm not missing out to come find you to take care of your problem when all I have to do is politely and athoritatively ask the kid to back off.

Not Acceptable:
See above but mommy and daddy are simply preocupied and sitting right next to me not noticing what the child is doing. In this case I would take it up with them. An unattended special needs child (really for whoever brought that up, how many people wouldn't alert a CM!? and how many parents would let them out of their sight in the first place?) An unattended young child (again alert the CM of the lost child). Berating or threatening a child for any reason.

Flame away

I can agree with that........my kids are younger, so I'm looking at it through that fact. I just saw some of the posts about people yelling at kids running through the parks, sitting on railings, etc and think that is the type of stuff that people just need to mind their own business.

Now if my kid cuts you off in line, you tell him, then try to find me so I can put a beatin' on him, LOL.

 

[SpectroMax]

I can agree with that........my kids are younger, so I'm looking at it through that fact. I just saw some of the posts about people yelling at kids running through the parks, sitting on railings, etc and think that is the type of stuff that people just need to mind their own business.

Now if my kid cuts you off in line, you tell him, then try to find me so I can put a beatin' on him, LOL.

Thanks.
I honestly think that if you guys were all in a room talking about this issue everyone would agree, but noone can issue an ultimatum "I will correct any child for doing wrong." and otherwise noone can say "you should never correct my child." in both cases you're gonna be wrong some times! I agree with getting away from this discussion also.

This has been the most hijacked board I've seen in a while!!!

 

[boxer]

Thanks.
I honestly think that if you guys were all in a room talking about this issue everyone would agree, but noone can issue an ultimatum "I will correct any child for doing wrong." and otherwise noone can say "you should never correct my child." in both cases you're gonna be wrong some times! I agree with getting away from this discussion also.

This has been the most hijacked board I've seen in a while!!!

Now, do you correct a child that has a Pop Century refillable mug, but is at the POR soda station?

LOL.....

 

[savvy?71]

I thought this thread was supposed to be about encountering and confronting rude people at the parks...

Maybe we can start to steer it away from a debate on parenting/disciplining and someone will have another story about how they delt or chose not to deal with a rude/pushy person at WDW?

Anyone?

My comment covers both issues~

HISTK playground at DHS. Chaos. Children of all ages (and some so old I wonder what they are doing in there at all) running amok. Pushing. Falling. Hiding in tunnels. Crying. Parents either trying their best to follow and monitor. Other parents using this time as a mental break. No way CMS can keep up with it all in there.

There is little way to tell what kids belong to what parents in there, and there is a lot of accident potential (as well as temporary loss of child) in that playground.

I did witness an ugly incident where a parent confronted another (about lack of watching kids), and the CMs had to intervene and ask the families to leave the playground. I felt bad for the mom who initially spoke up, because from what I observed, her child was pushed down the musical steps by an older child, who was clearly running wild in the playground. As a mom, I would have been irate.

Was it worth the scene? Was it rude to call out another parent? Nothing was resolved, they all had to leave...maybe apologies were offered outside-- I don't know. But I do feel when safety is becoming an issue, (as opposed to 'hey that family went ahead of us!), I'd be prompted to speak up.

 

[jamstew]

Just my take, but you guys really are arguing over misunderstandings.

For those of you saying that "noone should ever discipline my kid" you probably will never have to worry about that because you obviosly keep an eye on your kid and take care of the child yourself.

The problems arise from the parent whose mentality is "my kid is at WDW he will do what ever the hell he likes and tough for those of you who don't like it." From what I've read that personality doesn't apply to anyone here. If it does we are in disagreement.

Secondly, for the most part when you correct someone elses child it tends to be kid in the 10-16 age range that is unattended by parents. Sorry but if you let your 12 year old run wild in the park and he tries to cut me in line he's not getting by and if the parent of said brat wants a confrontation he or she will get all she wants.

Now when it comes to young kids the correct approach would probably be to ask the kid "where are your parents" then tell the parents to get controll of the kid. I know this is gonna piss them off, but if you don't want to be told that, keep control of your rugrat in the first place.

My point is there are plenty of times when it is acceptable to correct a child and plenty of times when it is not. You guys can sit here all day and come up with times that it is and isn't acceptable and argue both ends of the discussion.


Acceptable:
Rude preteens cutting line, any child in danger, an unattended child in front of me at the parade when mommy and daddy are 4 rows deep and left him up there sorry but if you don't want him to get corrected don't let the little devil run rampant. I'm not missing out to come find you to take care of your problem when all I have to do is politely and athoritatively ask the kid to back off.

Not Acceptable:
See above but mommy and daddy are simply preocupied and sitting right next to me not noticing what the child is doing. In this case I would take it up with them. An unattended special needs child (really, how many people wouldn't alert a CM!? and how many parents would let them out of their sight in the first place?) An unattended young child (again alert the CM of the lost child). Berating or threatening a child for any reason.

Flame away

EXACTLY! I don't think anyone is talking about well-supervised small children and are primarily talking about older and/or unsupervised ones.

I also don't think anyone is talking about yelling or berating anyone else's young children. Corrections can and should be made in a non-aggressive way.

Oh, yea--and if you don't want me to correct your child, don't ask if he/she can sit in front of me at a parade.

 

[JenniferK]

Just my take, but you guys really are arguing over misunderstandings.

For those of you saying that "noone should ever discipline my kid" you probably will never have to worry about that because you obviosly keep an eye on your kid and take care of the child yourself.

The problems arise from the parent whose mentality is "my kid is at WDW he will do what ever the hell he likes and tough for those of you who don't like it." From what I've read that personality doesn't apply to anyone here. If it does we are in disagreement.

Secondly, for the most part when you correct someone elses child it tends to be kid in the 10-16 age range that is unattended by parents. Sorry but if you let your 12 year old run wild in the park and he tries to cut me in line he's not getting by and if the parent of said brat wants a confrontation he or she will get all she wants.

Now when it comes to young kids the correct approach would probably be to ask the kid "where are your parents" then tell the parents to get controll of the kid. I know this is gonna piss them off, but if you don't want to be told that, keep control of your rugrat in the first place.

My point is there are plenty of times when it is acceptable to correct a child and plenty of times when it is not. You guys can sit here all day and come up with times that it is and isn't acceptable and argue both ends of the discussion.


Acceptable:
Rude preteens cutting line, any child in danger, an unattended child in front of me at the parade when mommy and daddy are 4 rows deep and left him up there sorry but if you don't want him to get corrected don't let the little devil run rampant. I'm not missing out to come find you to take care of your problem when all I have to do is politely and athoritatively ask the kid to back off.

Not Acceptable:
See above but mommy and daddy are simply preocupied and sitting right next to me not noticing what the child is doing. In this case I would take it up with them. An unattended special needs child (really, how many people wouldn't alert a CM!? and how many parents would let them out of their sight in the first place?) An unattended young child (again alert the CM of the lost child). Berating or threatening a child for any reason.

Flame away

Thank you - you said essentially what I was trying to get at, but apparently wasn't explaining well. Those here who watch their children should not have this issue. It will almost always be those parents who don't watch their kids, or watch them do whatever they want and say nothing where there is an issue. And going to get a CM (assuming you are at DW) is not always an option or practical.

 

[inkkognito]

Kinda hard to effectively tell the parent about their child's bad behavior when the parent is the one telling the child to do it.

More than once, I have witnessed parents telling their kids to cut the line, then following them later, "Excuse me, excuse me, my kid's up there." This is especially rampant in wide lines like Soarin'. Sends a great message to the kid, then we wonder why so many people grow up with an entitlement attitude

 

[SpectroMax]

Kinda hard to effectively tell the parent about their child's bad behavior when the parent is the one telling the child to do it.

More than once, I have witnessed parents telling their kids to cut the line, then following them later, "Excuse me, excuse me, my kid's up there." This is especially rampant in wide lines like Soarin'. Sends a great message to the kid, then we wonder why so many people grow up with an entitlement attitude

You've got to handle that as best you can. For some that means "let em go and ignore it so as not to ruin my vacation" for others that means "go get the CM and point them out" for some that means "take it up with the parents" (my opinion would be try to stop the kids in the first place.) Anyway there are a lot of ways to handle this, none of which are going to be very much fun or satisfying.

Personally I would take this up with the parent and probably be end up pretty heated confrontation. Which if you read my earlier posts (page 2 or 3) I do try to avoid, however I consider the line cutter to have left me no choice.

The other thing is eventually people with this attitude will lose in life in the long run so just let things work themselves out.