Opinions on Confrontations?

[3girls4me05]

The teacher in me can't keep her mouth shut. I generally do say something. But as I have said, I am a teacher and I have a great teacher voice that most people don't challenge. My DH on the other hand wants to die a thousand deaths when I speak up and is the type to not say something. I try to keep that in mind and not speak up too often. Oh and I will also say something to a child who is being unsafe or rude. I am kind and smile and gently remind them of the right thing to do. I have never had a parent say a word to me about that.
I will say that the previous poster who told the child to go back to his spot may have been better served giving a couple of loud, friendly warnings first along the lines of "Hey buddy..watch out for the camera please!" or "Woah..there is popcorn there. Please don't spill it" That would have drawn the attention of his mom and been a little more friendly then telling the child where to stand.

 

[seashoreCM]

What I did was probably not correct but there have been times when small kids would bump into me or squeeze past me and I would either follow them or hold them back long enough to heartily pat their heads and then I let them go on.

 

[WDSearcher]

And I LOVE the second one. What is the person going to do? Get a Cast Member involved when they know they are doing something wrong?

The whole "I plopped my butt down and didn't discuss it any further." thing seems really rude to me, especially if there were other good seats left. If the front row was really it and this person had been saving them for some time, that's one thing. If the theatre had just opened at the time and inkkognito walked up when there were ample other choices and plopped down just to "make a point" (especially if it was expressed exactly as it appeared in the description), I'd have called inkkognito the rude guest too.
I'm a firm believer in winning more flies with honey than vinegar. If you have to be rude to counter another rude person, then all you've done is sink to their level.

 

[boxer]

No offense taken My reasoning is that maybe I don't know he is causing problems, so let me know and I as the parent will handle it. I personally have issues with parents who think that they are allowed to scold my child. Now, if he was harming someone else or could be harming himself, then by all means stop him and let me know what's going on and I will take it from there. But if he is just being plain obnoxious its no one's place to tell him to do anything. Its sort of rude for people to automatically assume that a parent is not doing their job correctly if they don't notice their child being a brat. And for the record, my son is only 2 1/2 but he is VERY well behaved, and will be the first to say "please" "thank you" "you're welcome" and "excuse me". And it is a huge generalization on your part. I don't even like my parents scolding my son, but I have to deal with it

Excellent post........I would NEVER yell at someone else's kid unless they are endangering my kids. It is no one's business to 'judge' if someone else's child is being obnoxious--that is up to the parent. Even when my son has friends over, I never yell at other peoples kids---that is up to THEIR parents.

Basically it falls back to 'minding your own business', and this is something that has gone by the wayside in this country in recent years. Instead of taking it upon yourself to yell at someones child---just be glad that kid that you think is acting like a 'brat' isn't yours.

 

[princesswendy720]

I think I get it from my Mom, but if someone is doing something rude or clearly defying rules that have been announced on a loudspeaker, I'll say something about it.

It's usually a backhanded, sarcastic comment. I feel that that gets my point across without being overly confrontational.

For example, when people stop in the middle of the row instead of moving all the way down, I'll say as I climb over them "So much for moving all the way down."

I got really heated this past trip while riding PoTC and someone was taking flash pictures from the back row of the boat (Pirates was walk on and there were only 6 of us on a single boat) with their SLR. We're talking about a huge flash every couple of seconds. I kept turning around and glaring. Dbf said I should've pulled my camera out, turned around, and kept flashing pictures and blinding her until she stopped. He told me this after we got off. I wish I could go back in time and do this because it was such a good idea!

I applaud people who do realize when children are being kind of rude (not knowing it of course) and correct them. It's never bothered me but sometimes little kids get overzealous in long lines and cut in front of you. When it happened on our last trip this little offender's Dad just called her back and said to stay with him. It also happened during a parade...a little boy kept elbowing me in the back of the head (we got to the curb 45 minutes before the parade started during MVMCP) and hitting me with his little glowy things. I would have said something but his parents were aware and kept saying "you're hitting that lady, you need to stop."

I also uttered the words "Gosh, people can be so rude" several times during our last trip when I would get stepped on, shoved, cut off, etc. It was loud enough that they could hear me.

 

[inkkognito]

The whole "I plopped my butt down and didn't discuss it any further." thing seems really rude to me, especially if there were other good seats left. If the front row was really it and this person had been saving them for some time, that's one thing. If the theatre had just opened at the time and inkkognito walked up when there were ample other choices and plopped down just to "make a point" (especially if it was expressed exactly as it appeared in the description), I'd have called inkkognito the rude guest too.
I'm a firm believer in winning more flies with honey than vinegar. If you have to be rude to counter another rude person, then all you've done is sink to their level.

What about the clear statement in every daily Navigator that says "Saving of seats in the theater is not allowed?" Is it okay to blatantly disregard the rules?

There was a little more discussion, but I gave the Cliff Notes version here for brevity. I explained that he could check his Navigator if he didn't believe me and that I'd be happy for him to call a crew member over if he felt he was being wrong. He just stalked away. Yes, there were other seats, but I wanted to sit in the front row (I am vertically challenged) and the rules say "no saving."

When I sat down, a woman and her grandchild in the row behind me came up and sat next to me. The woman said, "Thank you so much. We tried to sit in the front and that guy told us the same thing. I thought he must work for Disney because I couldn't believe someone would be rude enough to save a whole row."

 

[jamstew]

I got really heated this past trip while riding PoTC and someone was taking flash pictures from the back row of the boat (Pirates was walk on and there were only 6 of us on a single boat) with their SLR. We're talking about a huge flash every couple of seconds. I kept turning around and glaring. Dbf said I should've pulled my camera out, turned around, and kept flashing pictures and blinding her until she stopped.

Excellent idea I'd definitely do this if there was no one between me and the offender, but I wouldn't get into a "flash war" if other people in my boat would be affected.

 

[WDSearcher]

What about the clear statement in every daily Navigator that says "Saving of seats in the theater is not allowed?" Is it okay to blatantly disregard the rules?

There was a little more discussion, but I gave the Cliff Notes version here for brevity. I explained that he could check his Navigator if he didn't believe me and that I'd be happy for him to call a crew member over if he felt he was being wrong. He just stalked away. Yes, there were other seats, but I wanted to sit in the front row (I am vertically challenged) and the rules say "no saving."

When I sat down, a woman and her grandchild in the row behind me came up and sat next to me. The woman said, "Thank you so much. We tried to sit in the front and that guy told us the same thing. I thought he must work for Disney because I couldn't believe someone would be rude enough to save a whole row."

I didn't say it was okay to not follow the rules. I said that if you have to be rude to counteract someone else being rude, then it does nothing.

 

[dolphindan1]

Excellent post........I would NEVER yell at someone else's kid unless they are endangering my kids. It is no one's business to 'judge' if someone else's child is being obnoxious--that is up to the parent. Even when my son has friends over, I never yell at other peoples kids---that is up to THEIR parents.

Basically it falls back to 'minding your own business', and this is something that has gone by the wayside in this country in recent years. Instead of taking it upon yourself to yell at someones child---just be glad that kid that you think is acting like a 'brat' isn't yours.

So someone else's child is spending the night at your house, running around going crazy, jumping on furniture, yelling at the top of there lungs and you are not gonna say anything....Sorry not in my house....its my house not his...that child will get a nice firm cut it out or else....if it upsets him he can call his parents and i will take it up with them...I dont expect anything less that what I expect from my own children....

See I see it opposite from you...I dont see enough people getting involved...people let way too much go...I am 35 and I know my parents didnt just let stuff go especially in there own home...I feel if a parent is so protective of there child that another adult cant say anything to them, then there are bigger issues to discuss....

Dont flame JMHO

 

[Sawx04]

Ah, the Internet. I went to babelfish.com, typed in a few sentences, and got a translation (in Portugese, just for the sake of an example - they have many, many languages). I'm going to make a print out for my next trip, and if someone pulls the 'no speak English' with me, I'd be happy to pull out my handy pocket translator. I may not be able to pronounce everything, but I'm certain that they'll be able to read my note:

You have to wait your turn.
You may not step in front of me.
Please go to the end of the line.
Do you want me to call Security?
Have a great day!

English to Portugese
Você tem que esperar sua volta.
Você não pode pisar na frente de mim.
Vá por favor à extremidade da linha.
Você quer-me chamar a segurança?
Tenha um grande dia!


KC

Funny stuff...

que fez o meu dia!!! (You made my day!!!)

 

[m&m's mom]

I like the direct approach. If someone is being obnoxious to the point of impacting my fun- I am going to call them on it.
I have confronted a man yelling obscentities at his kids and wife at WDW. It was during the fireworks and we were in very tight spaces and there was no way I could get away. I was very firm telling him his language was not appropriate around kids and he needed to stop immediately. He shut up.
Those afraid of the results- almost every time I have confronted someone they shut up. Once in a while they will smart back but then they back off.
My DH, 2 DD's and 2 best friends and I were waiting outside a restaurant in our town when a REALLY drunk man started screaming obscentities at his 2 young teen girls. I mean screaming across a whole parking lot at them. The girls were dieing of embarrassment and NO ONE was saying anything. When the girls got to him they got in the car (someone else was driving). The car got to the stop sign an half block from us and he was still yelling and cussing even though they were in the car. On total instinct I charged toward his car yelling at him to shut up and quit using that language. I think my poor DH and our friend were totally taken off guard. I yelled at him the whole way over and they left when I got pretty close. The guy was HUGE so probably not the best idea. The part that made me the maddest is there was a security guard right behind a car between me and the guy and he did nothing.

 

[inkkognito]

I didn't say it was okay to not follow the rules. I said that if you have to be rude to counteract someone else being rude, then it does nothing.

Okay, you're entitled to believe that it was "rude" for me to take a desirable seat that was open/fair game according to Disney's rules. Myself, I call it assertive, and I don't worry too much about what anyone else wants to label it (I'm sure Mr. This Whole Row is Mine would agree with your view 100 percent).

 

[WDSearcher]

Okay, you're entitled to believe that it was "rude" for me to take a desirable seat that was open/fair game according to Disney's rules. Myself, I call it assertive, and I don't worry too much about what anyone else wants to label it (I'm sure Mr. This Whole Row is Mine would agree with your view 100 percent).

I got "rude" from how you described the encounter, not because I believe that it's rude for you to take what was clearly a seat available to you. The way you initially described it made it sound like you were just blunt and curt and plopped yourself down in the row with a sense of entitlement. Which is what all the people here are saying that all the "rude" people do. In which case, I could not understand how behaving exactly like the rude guy made you less rude. (You can be right and still come across as rude.)

If you were more civil to Mr. ThisWholeRowisMine than came across in your inital description, then I do aplogize for reading more into it.

 

[BradyBz12]

Here in the south, the equivalent, is using a person's name and then saying "bless his/her heart". You can insult someone as much as you want but tack on the "bless their heart" comment and you've just made nice...
Bless their hearts every one of them.

OMG I am so going to remember that one! I'm "from the North" here in NH, but I'm pretty sure I can pull it off.

Funny stuff...
que fez o meu dia!!! (You made my day!!!)

Too funny indeed! But seriously, I don't buy the language barrier when it comes to lines. In what country is the concept of people standing in a line and you joining it AT THE BACK so foreign?

And lest we all forget...
Mantengase alejadro de las puertas!

 

[3girls4me05]

Excellent post........I would NEVER yell at someone else's kid unless they are endangering my kids. It is no one's business to 'judge' if someone else's child is being obnoxious--that is up to the parent. Even when my son has friends over, I never yell at other peoples kids---that is up to THEIR parents.

Basically it falls back to 'minding your own business', and this is something that has gone by the wayside in this country in recent years. Instead of taking it upon yourself to yell at someones child---just be glad that kid that you think is acting like a 'brat' isn't yours.

Really? I think back to when I was a kid (I am 38) and you can bet that if a neighbor saw me doing something wrong when I was out playing in the neighborhood they would tell me to stop and then be on the phone with my mom. My parents would be grateful for people who did this, not angry or insulted. It was the "It takes a village" type of thing. Let me tell you it kept me in line! My kids know that if an adult besides me or my DH has to correct their behavoir then they will be in BIG trouble with me. I expect them to be on their best behavoir in public so other adults should not be having to speak to them (except to compliment them of course)

 

[mickeymedic]

Really? I think back to when I was a kid (I am 38) and you can bet that if a neighbor saw me doing something wrong when I was out playing in the neighborhood they would tell me to stop and then be on the phone with my mom. My parents would be grateful for people who did this, not angry or insulted. It was the "It takes a village" type of thing. Let me tell you it kept me in line! My kids know that if an adult besides me or my DH has to correct their behavoir then they will be in BIG trouble with me. I expect them to be on their best behavoir in public so other adults should not be having to speak to them (except to compliment them of course)

Yup! This is exactly how I was raised. There had better be no reason for an adult to have to correct my behavior. I was expected to behave. Period. And I was expected to respect all elders - not just my parents.

 

[jamstew]

Yup! This is exactly how I was raised. There had better be no reason for an adult to have to correct my behavior. I was expected to behave. Period. And I was expected to respect all elders - not just my parents.

Same here, and that goes double for my grandchildren. I don't hesitate to correct them for a behavior that I deem inappropriate/unacceptable in public, in my home or theirs. If their parents are there, I'll say something to them first and give them the opportunity to do something, but something is going to be done. I know I'm from a diifferent generation, but I was raised the same as you were, and I raised my children that way as well. If I see a child misbehaving (at Disney or anywhere else) in a way that disrupts my or my family's enjoyment of what we or others are doing, I'm gonna say something--to the parent if they're around, or to the child if they aren't.

Try controlling a bunch of pre-teen boys in your pool and see how long you can go without correcting them I have been known to call parents to come get their unruly children--sorry, but I expect better.

 

[Suellen]

I think it is totally different if the parents are not there. I would not be happy if someone corrected my child's behaviour in front of me. That being said... my children know what is expected of them. Yes the 18 month old as well as the 3 1/2 yo. They know not to be rude, talk while someone else is talking, they are expected to ask before getting down from a table, they know to say excuse me, please, thank you ~ and are not to address an adult by first name without using a title.

Really ~ I guess my opinion is they best not give another adult a reason to say something to them ~ and if they do ~ you can bet your last dollar I will see it and say something myself.

Of course ~ the rude/misbehaving children are the least of my worries. It is the parents and the pushing and shoving that drives me nutso!

 

[cassmat]

Last week I was getting coffee at The Quick Service Restaurant in Coronado Springs.
Lovely, friendly chatty cashier was waiting on a family of 4, chatting with them, having a lovely conversation..as we waited...I wasn't upset, as I knew she was just being friendly.

At the same time a little boy, around 4, got in line behind me...his Dad came over and yelled at him for letting people butt in front of him...(he wondered away) and then proceeded to tell the little guy to kick the next person who butted in the shin...OMG...I said oops..."don't tell your child something like that". He said he needs to learn, we are from New York....the he starts in o ths cashier, telling her to get the families room number and call them later, as he is in a hurry to get his kid to the park...
And this is where it got good...she looked at him and said, "excuse me, these are my customers and they were here before you". I felt like clapping!! It was also her look and tone...
My husband and I drank our coffee and I went and told her I admired how she had handled that jerk...lol!

 

[marsrunner]

If I'm there on vacation with my kids, there's no way I'm confronting people except in one of two instances: someone touches one of my kids in an obviously not accidental manner, or someone says something TO one of my kids, either swearing at them or berating them or whatever. Note, I don't mean saying "Hi" or "don't you look cute". I mean trying to discipline my kids or something like that.
In either of those two cases I would confront the person (not physically...no need to get arrested at Disney!) and send my wife with the kids to fetch the nearest CM. I can tell you it would take every ounce of restraint I have to not beat somebody soundly about the head and/or shoulders if they shoved my kid. I've seen it happen to others and I marvelled at the restraint displayed. That being said, they aren't getting away with it if I can help it!
Otherwise I'm pretty easy going. I try my best not to let anyone affect my vacation.