Non-school Coaches asking to see kids' grades?

[SaraJayne]

I think the parent has to decide what kind of sports program they want their child to be in: one that just teaches the sport and provides recreation/exercise, or one that teaches positive life values in addition to the sport.

They aren't always mutually exclusive.

 

[Becky2005]

How does this work for schools that don't even do grades???? Our school doesn't do official grades until 6th grade.

My poor kids would never do any sports because there are only 3 choices: Exceeds Expecations, Meets Expectations & Needs Improvement. I know one my sons will *always* get Needs Improvement for writing/reading. They have IEP's. If they were "Meeting Expectations" they wouldn't need the IEP in the first place.

That would annoy me but I guess it depends on the sports.

We go through the Park District 90% of the time and we do that because we don't WANT the ultra competitive stuff that goes on for private sports. We want the kids to just go out there & have fun while learning the sport. We have had to stop basketball for my 4th grader because he is not coordinated & at this point we can't find a program that isn't all competitive at this point. He would not do so well on a team like that. He still needs to build skills not be grouped into a feeder program.

 

[kaytieeldr]

My ds is only in 3rd grade but from what I see so far, the kid works his butt off t just get by in school. When he is in high school I bet getting 70's will be just fine for him. How does a coach know everyone's situations?

Well, then you talk to the coach. But isn't 70s equivalent to a C? So that child wouldn't be excluded from the one game, even by the OP's daughter's coach's rules.

 

[declansdad]

Speaking as a coach, academic standing should only be used as a criteria in two instances:

1. a school based team'
2. a club team that makes this criteria known before hand.

In both instances, there are still legitimate reasons for allowing someone to play who is scoring low on the academic scale. In some instances, this is the students release and a big reason that they can be kept on track. Take that away and it may also remove the students motivation for even trying in school.

As a parent, I don't think I would approve of a non-school coach asking to see my son's academic record. It is my decision as a parent to limit my son's activities because of non-athletic activities. The coach has a number of other tools to punish/reward a player.

 

[Aisling]

They aren't always mutually exclusive.

You're right about that. But there are programs that are just for fun and not into the other aspects. That said, every sports experience can teach discipline and focus, even if it's not officially part of the program. Sport is always good!

 

[kaytieeldr]

How does this work for schools that don't even do grades???? Our school doesn't do official grades until 6th grade.

My poor kids would never do any sports because there are only 3 choices: Exceeds Expecations, Meets Expectations & Needs Improvement. I know one my sons will *always* get Needs Improvement for writing/reading. They have IEP's. If they were "Meeting Expectations" they wouldn't need the IEP in the first place.

Then, ideally, the coaches would know about the 'grading' system and bench - for one game, if the OP's post is worded correctly - players with 'needs improvement'.

 

[Becky2005]

Well, then you talk to the coach. But isn't 70s equivalent to a C? So that child wouldn't be excluded from the one game, even by the OP's daughter's coach's rules.

Depends on the school district & the teacher's grading system. In our middle school, the grading scale is NOT across the board. I remember one teacher's A was 94% anything under 94% was a B. That always stuck out to me since it seemed really high.

I was just reading in the newspaper a school district here re-evaluating it's grading system because they literally only have 2 grades & failing.

"operates on a seven-point system: A score of 93 or higher is required to achieve an A, while a score of 86-92 earns a B. Anything below a 70 is an F"

 

[Becky2005]

Then, ideally, the coaches would know about the 'grading' system and bench - for one game, if the OP's post is worded correctly - players with 'needs improvement'.

How would they know if it's not a school sponsored team? I don't know about where you are but every single school district here has totally different grading systems. Some still use letters, some use symbols, some use things I haven't figured out (including ours!!! I was there when they transitioned! The teachers didn't even know how to decide where to put the kids!).

The first year I had one teacher put my son in "Needs Improvement" because she told me that she knew he could do better. Wait? I thought report cards were for what you had already DONE not your potential.

I'm probably one of the most lenient parent for grades though due to getting a D by working my behind off for Geometry. I was proud I didn't fail that class. I managed to get A's & B's in every other class, graduate with High Honors, etc.... but literally passed Geometry by the skin of my teeth!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well, then you talk to the coach. But isn't 70s equivalent to a C? So that child wouldn't be excluded from the one game, even by the OP's daughter's coach's rules.

Why is it the coach's business if someone's kid has an IEP? As long as the kid is a team player, tries his/her best at practice/games, is polite and respectful then that is all the coach needs to worry about. The coach is there to teach the sport. The end. He is not there to worry about kids reading skills, math concepts etc. nor is it any of his business if a kid has an IEP, services, extra help etc.

 

[Planogirl]

I admire the concept but I agree that the coach should just worry about athletics. I imagine that this stems from too many parents once again not caring how their kids do in school. I think that this requirement is well-meaning but goes too far.

 

[my3sonsagn]

My DS15 did Tae Kwon Do for a few years, and they had a policy (unwritten, but it was made known to the parents when we signed up) that the instructor got to see all "Friday Folders" and report cards. They never said the grades out loud, and they always looked more at the teachers' comments about effort and behavior than number/letter grades. Those with bad reports had to do extra push-ups and live with knowing they had disappointed their instructor while those with good reports got praised by the instructor; the kids who had had a bad report then improved it really got praised. DS is easily embarrased and felt awful about disappointing his Master, but it really motivated him to work harder, and the praise he got for improving made him feel on top of the world. It really made an impact on his work ethic and the effort he made at school. Did it seem a little harsh to me at first? Yes. I quickly saw the difference it made, though, and it made me realize that today's kids are too often handled with kid gloves, and it isn't good for them in the long run. They also asked parents every class if their child was behaving at home, and the same "punishment"/rewards applied. It made a big difference at home, too, and he once admitted that all of that made him feel like the instructor really cared about him as a person instead of just his MA abilities.

It got to be that the drive was too much, and we couldn't find a closer school, so we quit, but I would love to be able to get him (and my other sons) back into it.


Jennifer

 

[sparklynails23]

IQ's for the population follow a normal curve. Those at the lower end might work their behinds off and never acheive the same as those on the higher end. Are we going to further punish them for a genetic disposition that they have no control over by prohibiting them from participating in sports? That's not right.

The coach does not know whether the bad grades were caused by lack of effort or low IQ, so the kids should not be required to show their report cards. Even if this doesn't apply to your child who is doing well in school, I would stand up for the other kids who might be unfairly affected by the rule.

 

[my3sonsagn]

IQ's for the population follow a normal curve. Those at the lower end might work their behinds off and never acheive the same as those on the higher end. Are we going to further punish them for a genetic disposition that they have no control over by prohibiting them from participating in sports? That's not right.

The coach does not know whether the bad grades were caused by lack of effort or low IQ, so the kids should not be required to show their report cards. Even if this doesn't apply to your child who is doing well in school, I would stand up for the other kids who might be unfairly affected by the rule.

That's why I"m so glad that DS's TKD Master looked more at the teacher's comments than the number/letter grades. Every report card I've seen has had those on there somewhere; maybe suggest to the coach that those alone is what playing/benched should be based on? Or just the conduct/effort grades instead of the academic grades?

Jennifer

 

[shrubber]

IQ's for the population follow a normal curve. Those at the lower end might work their behinds off and never acheive the same as those on the higher end. Are we going to further punish them for a genetic disposition that they have no control over by prohibiting them from participating in sports? That's not right.

The coach does not know whether the bad grades were caused by lack of effort or low IQ, so the kids should not be required to show their report cards. Even if this doesn't apply to your child who is doing well in school, I would stand up for the other kids who might be unfairly affected by the rule.

If your child cannot pass third grade, you should have a lot more on your plate than worrying about wether or not the coach puts them in the game or not.

 

[hereyago]

I applaud the coach. Too many times, parents are oblivious to their child's education. They want Johnny or Marie to be the next great athelete, even if they can't spell.

I know there are some aspects of sports that can help a child such as discipline,etc. But if your kid is getting crappy grades, then your kid needs to work on their education and not sports.

It does take a village. From the parents to the teachers to the coaches. Every adult in your child's life will have an affect on them. And should be there to guide them.

Education is more important than sports.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

If your child cannot pass third grade, you should have a lot more on your plate than worrying about wether or not the coach puts them in the game or not.

The two are not exclusive. You can have a child who is academically behind due to a LD. That child could have 99 plans in place to help him/her. Sometimes activities that seem not important like a sport might actually be encouraged by their therapists to help with some areas. If my child was busting their behind to pass school and I was doing all I could to help them I would not take away the one thing they enjoy. Sorry but that serves no purpose. There are plenty of kids who struggle but that doesn't mean they should have no enjoyment at all.
What about the kid who is struggling and has parents who don't do much to help? Punishing the kid by benching him is not going to make the parents help the kid.
Teach the sport. Leave the rest to the parents.
Oh- and I had a child take Tae Kwon Do. They did not ask for report cards. They asked for the parents to fill out a sheet that let the instructors know that the kids were doing well. I would not have brought them report cards either.

 

[merryweather20]

My DS15 did Tae Kwon Do for a few years, and they had a policy (unwritten, but it was made known to the parents when we signed up) that the instructor got to see all "Friday Folders" and report cards. They never said the grades out loud, and they always looked more at the teachers' comments about effort and behavior than number/letter grades. Those with bad reports had to do extra push-ups and live with knowing they had disappointed their instructor while those with good reports got praised by the instructor; the kids who had had a bad report then improved it really got praised. DS is easily embarrased and felt awful about disappointing his Master, but it really motivated him to work harder, and the praise he got for improving made him feel on top of the world. It really made an impact on his work ethic and the effort he made at school. Did it seem a little harsh to me at first? Yes. I quickly saw the difference it made, though, and it made me realize that today's kids are too often handled with kid gloves, and it isn't good for them in the long run. They also asked parents every class if their child was behaving at home, and the same "punishment"/rewards applied. It made a big difference at home, too, and he once admitted that all of that made him feel like the instructor really cared about him as a person instead of just his MA abilities.

It got to be that the drive was too much, and we couldn't find a closer school, so we quit, but I would love to be able to get him (and my other sons) back into it.

Jennifer

What made me feel good, was when my coach actually got to know ME, based on our time together.

When I was in elementary school I always had a C in Phys-Ed, I was always "the shy-one". Those labels certainly weren't going away. I loved that my coach made up her own mind and had no idea, what labels were bestowed upon me in elementary school. It was very freeing, I loved that feeling as much as I loved the swimming. I would hate to take that away from any kid, who felt "stuck", with labels like I did.

 

[shrubber]

The two are not exclusive. You can have a child who is academically behind due to a LD. That child could have 99 plans in place to help him/her. Sometimes activities that seem not important like a sport might actually be encouraged by their therapists so help with some areas. If my child was busting their behind to pass school and I was doing all I could to help them I would not take away the one thing they enjoy. Sorry but that serves no purpose. There are plenty of kids who struggle but that doesn't mean they should have no enjoyment at all.
What about the kid who is struggling and has parents who don't do much to help? Punishing the kid by benching him is not going to make the parents help the kid.
Teach the sport. Leave the rest to the parents.
Oh- and I had a child take Tae Kwon Do. They did not ask for report cards. They asked for the parents to fill out a sheet that let the instructors know that the kids were doing well. I would not have brought them report cards either.

I would imagine in your anecdotal scenario that something would be worked out. I saw a few posters say here that children with learning disabilities receive all sorts of special treatment.
Well within the coaches rights.
This is after all a non school activity, if you don't like it, take your kid out.
Find another team or start your own.

 

[5lilfish]

If your child cannot pass third grade, you should have a lot more on your plate than worrying about wether or not the coach puts them in the game or not.

I know what you are saying. I just think there is so much more to a child's well being than a number on a report card. When I was pregnant with my twins, my 3rd child sort of freaked out. It was a complicated pregnancy. I was on bed rest and my DD was very concerned that something was going to happen to me and/or the babies. She shut down in school (1st grade) and ended up in their reading recovery program. Taking away other activities would have just added to her stress. Sure, I could have explained this to a coach, but is it really any of his/her business? My oldest is on the autistic spectrum. He is just a step off of "normal" (very mild...goes to public school, plays sports, etc). He is VERY smart. Grades are the least of my concern for him. Unfortunately, every now and then when he gets worked up over something and has trouble letting it go. One time, when this happened, he tanked a couple tests and just couldn't recover quickly enough to pull his grade up by the end of the marking period. If a coach benched him because of it, it would have had horrible effects on my son. My son plays sports for the socialization, fun and learning experiences of team sports.....all much more important for him than a number on a report card. I get to decide that. Not some coach who only knows my son from seeing him at little league 4 hrs a week for 2 months. My second DD struggles with reading comprehension. All of her grades are great (above 90) except her reading grade. Should she be kept out of sports for that? We do work on her reading....at school and at home. That doesn't mean she cannot have a life or have fun. I mentioned earlier, that this DD has developed leadership skills and gained so much self confidence because of her success in sports. That has carried over to the classroom.

So, when one allows their child to play sports, they aren't always (of course, some are) ignoring the academic issues. They are taking care of the WHOLE child. The parent should be allowed to make these decisions.

Jess

 

[It'sWDW4me]

I don't agree with benching the kids for practice (maybe a game) but I wholeheartedly support any coaches/teachers who have the chutzpa to reinforce the importance of doing well (and this is subjective - not every kid is an A student) in school.

My DS has been taking karate lessons for years. His sensei always asks for report cards - if he's not doing so well, he gets to do extra push ups/crunches/laps during warm-up before each lesson. He's working on pulling his grades up now so that he can get those extras cut.

They're not expecting him to get A's in the classes that he has the most trouble in but they DO expect him to do his best - even if his best is a low C. They encourage him to do his best in everything he does. I'm liking the lesson his sensei is teaching - schoolwork/grades and, most importantly, the effort you apply to them will affect every aspect of your life.