Non-school Coaches asking to see kids' grades?

[happygirl]

Absolutely agree....granted my kids have good grades, but I still don't need certain busy-body parents to know what grades/comments my kids receive. It's none of their business.

Jess

He's not been a busy body or whatever you said. He cares about the team and what's there education to come first. What a monster

 

[krcit]

I'm really shocked I don't know why ((dis boards)) That people would allow there child to play on a sports team with bad grades, What kind of lessons is that teaching a child. It's okay to get bad grades you can still do sports of fun things

I disagree with this. I have 3 kids. My oldest is very, very smart. AP classes, high honor roll. She has always been this way. School comes very easy to her. If her grades are less than mid 90's then she would be in trouble. My middle dd is more average. She gets 80's and 90's and has to study to get them but she can get them. Now here comes my ds. He has a learning disability and is struggling to read in 3rd grade. Should they all be expected to make the same grades? Of course not. My ds is only in 3rd grade but from what I see so far, the kid works his butt off t just get by in school. When he is in high school I bet getting 70's will be just fine for him. How does a coach know everyone's situations? While 90's might be par for the course for some kids, 70's might be hard-earned for another. That is my decision as a parent, not a coach who has no clue about my child. JMO, of course.

 

[shrubber]

Not true...see my post above. The coach does not get to decide. Most recreational leagues have rules for equal playing time. If good grades is not a league rule then this volunteer coach has no business linking playing time and grades.

Jess

Well, that is an assumption on your part. We do not know what type of league or sport this is. And yes, the coach, or perhaps, the league gets to decide who plays, not the parent.
If indeed the league had a rule that everybody gets to play, then showing the kids grades would be irrelevant would it not?

 

[5lilfish]

He's not been a busy body or whatever you said. He cares about the team and what's there education to come first. What a monster

I never said HE was a busy body. I agreed with the person I quoted that gossip occurs. I meant that WE have some busy body parents in our league and that I don't think they have any business knowing my kid's grades/comments.

Jess

 

[Aisling]

Absolutely agree....granted my kids have good grades, but I still don't need certain busy-body parents to know what grades/comments my kids receive. It's none of their business.

Jess

Thankfully, I never did care what other parents knew or thought about my kids' grades. Also, in my kids sports, when some kids were put out because of failing grades, the other parents would be very supportive, recommending tutors or teachers who would help the child understand the schoolwork.

One of my sons was on the verge of being put out, not because he didn't grasp the schoolwork, but because he had a bad attitude about school responsibilities. My husband and I really got on his behind and my son straightened out his attitude by the next term.

 

[5lilfish]

Well, that is an assumption on your part. We do not know what type of league or sport this is. And yes, the coach, or perhaps, the league gets to decide who plays, not the parent.
If indeed the league had a rule that everybody gets to play, then showing the kids grades would be irrelevant would it not?

Basis for my assumption: sport for grades 3-6. At that young age and with that age spread, it is more than likely a recreational league. Travel sports do exist for kids as young as 3rd grade, but there wouldn't be that big of an age bracket.

As for being irrelevant...I guess that is my point. If good grades is not a rule for the league, then what the coach wants is completely irrelevant.

Jess

 

[shrubber]

I disagree with this. I have 3 kids. My oldest is very, very smart. AP classes, high honor roll. She has always been this way. School comes very easy to her. If her grades are less than mid 90's then she would be in trouble. My middle dd is more average. She gets 80's and 90's and has to study to get them but she can get them. Now here comes my ds. He has a learning disability and is struggling to read in 3rd grade. Should they all be expected to make the same grades? Of course not. My ds is only in 3rd grade but from what I see so far, the kid works his butt off t just get by in school. When he is in high school I bet getting 70's will be just fine for him. How does a coach know everyone's situations? While 90's might be par for the course for some kids, 70's might be hard-earned for another. That is my decision as a parent, not a coach who has no clue about my child. JMO, of course.

I think a reasonable point is if your 3rd grader is working his butt off just to get by in school, and he is unable to do it, a passing grade that is, then why would you be devoting all this afterschool time to sports in the first palce?

 

[SaraJayne]

Since it is not a school-sponsored activity, it is none of the coach's business how your child is doing academically. If that was a condition for registering, I wouldn't be signing my child up for that program.

Our school sponsored athletics do have an academic code that must be followed and that I agree with. My DS has had two players benched on his basketball team due to being academically ineligible. Even though the school has a different standard than DH and I do, DS has always known that if he ever gets anything below a 'B' on his report card, he's done with sports for the season.

 

[luvmy3]

I never though of it as "punishing" them. I just saw it as part of the discipline.
I don 't know what the coach/instructor did with children with learning disabilities, though. I assume if the parents spoke to him about the problem, there would be some leniency. But for the average kid, a passing grade of C isn't too much to ask for.

I may not sound like it, but I'm a parent who doesn't want to be told how to raise my kids. I don't like Big Brother over my shoulder. For some reason, the passing grade rule seemed reasonable to me. But I do understand and respect your opinion.

Punishing falls under discipline, so IMO a coach has no personsal right to discipline a child for anything thats done at home or school. Again if its a rule of the leauge its different but to sit a kid out because of the coach's own personal feelings on how someone elses child should be punished, is just wrong.
I wouldn't have a problem with a passing grade rule if it was something clearly stated from the beginning and something I would have to agree to before my child even started the sport. If my ds's MA school had that rule I would have the choice to go elsewhere, especially since one of the reasons I have my one ds enrolled is to help him stay focused in school (which his lack of his having a negative effect on his report card this year). I would have no problem signing that if other ds was the only one enrolled.

 

[5lilfish]

I think a reasonable point is if your 3rd grader is working his butt off just to get by in school, and he is unable to do it, a passing grade that is, then why would you be devoting all this afterschool time to sports in the first palce?

Because a child working his/her butt off in school should be allowed to have some fun (and still needs exersize). Suppose this same academically struggling child excels in sports. The self conidence and boost in self esteem that child gets from sports might very well carry over to helping the child in other areas of his/her life. My DD, who does just fine in school (honor roll) definately used the self confidence she gained on the playing field to boost herself up in school. It made a big difference for her. It gave her great leadership skills that I don't think she would have if it weren't for sports.

Jess

 

[krcit]

I think a reasonable point is if your 3rd grader is working his butt off just to get by in school, and he is unable to do it, a passing grade that is, then why would you be devoting all this afterschool time to sports in the first palce?[/QUO


I don't see where the OP mentioned the amount of time devoted to the sport but around here, the rec league baseball for example has about 1 or 2 2 hour long practices a week and 1 game a week. I certainly don't see that as excessive and ds needs some time away from schoolwork. Or should I keep him chained to his desk b/c he was unlucky enough to be born with a learning disability?

 

[shrubber]

Basis for my assumption: sport for grades 3-6. At that young age and with that age spread, it is more than likely a recreational league. Travel sports do exist for kids as young as 3rd grade, but there wouldn't be that big of an age bracket.

As for being irrelevant...I guess that is my point. If good grades is not a rule for the league, then what the coach wants is completely irrelevant.

Jess

Perhaps you misunderstood. The OP said the kids will be benched if they do not provide passing grades. If in fact, the league has a everyone must play rule as you suggested, then the two are contradictory.
I think it would be safe to assume that the league does not have a playing time garauntee, or the OP would simply say, 'Well, whatever, the league/coach has to play her' regardless of her grades. .
You might not like his/her criteria, but it would remain the coaches decision.

 

[Aisling]

Punishing falls under discipline, so IMO a coach has no personsal right to discipline a child for anything thats done at home or school.

I see what you're saying, but I didn't mean discipline in the punishment sense. I meant it in the focus and responsibility sense.

I wouldn't appreciate a coach "disciplining" my child as in punishment. That's not his job. But I always felt like teaching sports and teaching the discipline (focus) that comes with it makes a good coach and makes a good sportsman.

The children with learning disabilities fall into a separate issue.

 

[5lilfish]

Perhaps you misunderstood. The OP said the kids will be benched if they do not provide passing grades. If in fact, the league has a everyone must play rule as you suggested, then the two are contradictory.
I think it would be safe to assume that the league does not have a playing time garauntee, or the OP would simply say, 'Well, whatever, the league/coach has to play her' regardless of her grades. .
You might not like his/her criteria, but it would remain the coaches decision.

I didn't misunderstand. What I am saying is that I would look into (or be interested in knowing) what the league rules are for playing time. If the league requires certain amounts of playing time, and the league does not have any grade policy, then what the coach wants is irrelevent....and NOT his decision. He may not have thought of it that when he asked to see the report cards. Een if there is no policy for playing time (which I kind of doubt), if the league does not have a grade policy then the coach really has no basis for creating one....because, the parents that paid for this sport were not signing on for this.

Jess

 

[okeydokey]

I think a reasonable point is if your 3rd grader is working his butt off just to get by in school, and he is unable to do it, a passing grade that is, then why would you be devoting all this afterschool time to sports in the first palce?

Maybe because he is already working his butt off for his academics and his sport allows him a place where he can excel and be good at something. Maybe he needs some exercise. Maybe he needs an outlet for some emotion. Lots of reasons.

 

[shrubber]

I didn't misunderstand. What I am saying is that I would look into (or be interested in knowing) what the league rules are for playing time. If the league requires certain amounts of playing time, and the league does not have any grade policy, then what the coach wants is irrelevent....and NOT his decision. He may not have thought of it that when he asked to see the report cards. Een if there is no policy for playing time (which I kind of doubt), if the league does not have a grade policy then the coach really has no basis for creating one....because, the parents that paid for this sport were not signing on for this.

Jess

That is all very true, we'll have to wait for the OP to clarify

 

[Anjelica]

My son started martial arts when he was 7 years old. (He's 24 now and still heavily into it), and his instructors had a rule of looking at the school report cards every term. Poor grades = no instruction. I wasn't insulted, and it was a great motivator for my son. Be happy that your child's coach takes education seriously. They do this for a good reason.

Chad is more like pro MMA fighter these days....lol.

 

[Aisling]

I think the parent has to decide what kind of sports program they want their child to be in: one that just teaches the sport and provides recreation/exercise, or one that teaches positive life values in addition to the sport.

I know a few parents who got their kids into sports because they were doing poorly in school, and the programs that taught them the joy of teamwork as well as personal achievement in all areas of life really benefited those children.

 

[Aisling]

Chad is more like pro MMA fighter these days....lol.

Yeah, that's true. My Jesse is another story.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Doesn't take much to confuse me..........

Fantastic! Let's start our own clique thread: "It's too early in the morning for me to be awake" and the only requirement is nobody can post before noon