Non-school Coaches asking to see kids' grades?

[Mickey Fliers]

The coach isn't checking to see if the kid is on honor roll. The OP said they are checking for Ds and Fs. I agree with the coach. A child getting Ds and Fs should be spending more time on academics....not an after school sport. That would be a great motivator to get the kid's grades up.

 

[Aisling]

Since my son was in martial arts, maybe that's why I went along with the "passing grades" rule so easily, because martial arts is about a complete package...focus and perserverance (sp) in all areas of life. The rule was a life lesson, and I appreciated it. But I do see how some parents would be insulted by this rule.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I have a feeling very few parents brought in the report cards, that is why they sent us the reminder email. I will probably just not bring it in.

Well, if that's the case, it sounds like this requirement was made known to the parents 'way back' when the kids first registered, and many are just now refusing to comply. If that's the case, then yes, you need to provide your daughter's grades. If, on the other hand, it's a brand new/surpise issue, then maybe not. Why not reply to the coach's e-mail - and ONLY to the coach, no need to clog up a bunch of mailboxes - and ASK?

 

[Mermaid02]

Well, now it sounds like this requirement was made known to the parents 'way back' when the kids first registered, and many are just now refusing to comply. If that's the case, then yes, you need to provide your daughter's grades. If, on the other hand, it's a brand new/surpise issue, then maybe not.

Why did your quote come up under my name? Weird.... Edit: now it has the OP's name.... I'm so confused! LOL

The OP says this is a NEW thing......

 

[Aisling]

Well, now it sounds like this requirement was made known to the parents 'way back' when the kids first registered, and many are just now refusing to comply. If that's the case, then yes, you need to provide your daughter's grades. If, on the other hand, it's a brand new/surpise issue, then maybe not.

I agree with the bolded part. If it was a surprise after my child was already involved, I wouldn't like it only because I like people to be straight and upfront from the beginning so I can decide if another kind of sports program would be better for my child.

 

[shrubber]

Consider this.
It is up to the parent and the child to sign up for and participate in some fashion for a sport.
But it is soley up to the coach to decide if that kid plays or rides the bench.
In many if not all sports, and certainly more so in the grade school level, the coaches use a variety of criteria to determine who is in the game and who is not.
Apart from skill level, coaches look at work ethic, attitude, leadership, sportsmanship, comraderie etc. On and off the field. I would fully support a coach that said, well your little sowflake can sign up, practice and pay the fees all year, but if I don't or can't see progress in the above listed criteria, they don't play.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Why did your quote come up under my name? Weird.... Edit: now it has the OP's name.... I'm so confused! LOL

The OP says this is a NEW thing......

Not a weird thing - an "I didn't get enough sleep last night" thing Sorry for the mistake, I've corrected it now.

 

[Mermaid02]

Consider this.
It is up to the parent and the child to sign up for and participate in some fashion for a sport.
But it is soley up to the coach to decide if that kid plays or rides the bench.
In many if not all sports, and certainly more so in the grade school level, the coaches use a variety of criteria to determine who is in the game and who is not.
Apart from skill level, coaches look at work ethic, attitude, leadership, sportsmanship, comraderie etc. On and off the field. I would fully support a coach that said, well your little sowflake can sign up, practice and pay the fees all year, but if I don't or can't see progress in the above listed criteria, they don't play.

It takes a village huh?
I disagree- I'll raise my own kids thanks. Big Brother has enough to worry about.....

 

[jordansmomma]

I love this coach, I wish more coaches were worried about a child learning. I don't see anything wrong with this at all.

I love coaches like this!

I say great, the coaches and the organization realize that sport X should come in #2 behind school work. If my kid was failing a course in school, they would participate in extra curricular activities only after bringing their grades back up.
My son played Pee Wee football last fall, and the coaches made it perfectly clear, bad grades, no play time.

That is how it should be!

Both of my boys have played sports every year.
The coaches that choose to ask for grades are the ones that really care, and are teaching the kids that when you get older in order to be academically eligible for sports your grades must be passing. It doesn't mean all A's but it just means grades above F's or D's.

In Grid kids (football) last fall my son was benched 2 games because he was always forgetting his home work. After he realized his coach was serious he has not forgotten his homework, or complained about reading in the evenings. He would rather play sports that he is in that sit and watch his team mates play.

 

[Mermaid02]

Not a weird thing - an "I didn't get enough sleep last night" thing Sorry for the mistake, I've corrected it now.

Doesn't take much to confuse me..........

 

[shrubber]

It takes a village huh?
I disagree- I'll raise my own kids thanks. Big Brother has enough to worry about.....

Raise away!
By putting your child in the hands of a coach, you abdicate some responsibility to the coach, certainly deciding who plays or not.

 

[luvmy3]

Since my son was in martial arts, maybe that's why I went along with the "passing grades" rule so easily, because martial arts is about a complete package...focus and perserverance (sp) in all areas of life. The rule was a life lesson, and I appreciated it. But I do see how some parents would be insulted by this rule.

My two dses are in martial arts and part of the complete package is to help kids become better students by using the techniques learned while taking MA. How excluding them because they are struggling helps is beyond me and I am thankful that their school does not have such a rule.

I don't believe that punishing a child for bad grades is anyone elses job but the child's parent, I think the coach in this situation is way overstepping his boundaries. If the sports organization is not affliated with the school, and doesn't recieve money from our school taxes to run, then that coach has no business seeing any child's report card, except his own.
However, a private organization can set up any rule so if the good grade rule is part of a contract that was agreed to, then its the parents choice to have their child participate (like you Aisling). OP, since you never signed anything agreeing to that, I'm with you.

 

[5lilfish]

My dd is in a sport where the kids are grades 3-6. It is not school sponsored or even at a school. We got an email that they would like to see each child's grades to make sure they are doing well. If they get a D or F, they will bench them from a practice. I think this all stems from one of the coaches, who is raising her niece who has a lot of issues and has been benched for grades.
Personally, since it is not a school sport, I don't think it is any of their business what my dd grades are ( she is a really good student and in the gifted program). I realize there are parents that don't care, but is it insulting to parents to ask this? I am responsible for seeing that my child does well in school, not them. What do you think?

Sorry. The coaches heart might be in the right place, but this really isn't appropriate. If my child's grades are a problem, I will decide whether or not he/she can play a sport that I paid for. Now, I think it would be great if the coach was very supportive of a parent that was informing him/her that their child would be missing a game/practice because of poor grades....but that decision should be made by the parent. Aside from being none of his/her business, there are other factors that complicate the matter. For example...how does he/she decide what is a good grade vs a bad grade. If my son has an 88 in certain subjects, that is not good. For other kids, an 88 would be excellent.

Jess

 

[shrubber]

Sorry. The coaches heart might be in the right place, but this really isn't appropriate. If my child's grades are a problem, I will decide whether or not he/she can play a sport that I paid for. Now, I think it would be great if the coach was very supportive of a parent that was informing him/her that their child would be missing a game/practice because of poor grades....but that decision should be made by the parent. Aside from being none of his/her business, there are other factors that complicate the matter. For example...how does he/she decide what is a good grade vs a bad grade. If my son has an 88 in certain subjects, that is not good. For other kids, an 88 would be excellent.

Jess

But you don't get to decide, that is kind of the point. The coach gets to decide. If you want to be in charge, grab a whistle and a clipboard.
The OP was talking about kids as young as the third grade? I have never seen a sports program for kids that young that did not focus on being a well rounded kid on and off the field rather than playing time.

 

[5lilfish]

Raise away!
By putting your child in the hands of a coach, you abdicate some responsibility to the coach, certainly deciding who plays or not.

Not if this is a house league/recreational sport. All sports(at this level) that we have been involved in state that the coaches must provide equal playing time. Assuming that providing proof of good grades is not a league rule, then the coach has no business linking playing time with grades and may very well be breaking the league rules by not playing the child.

I do believe school comes before sports but I also believe (unless it is a school sport) that I should be the one monitoring my child. I think that each child has their own potential. Finally, I believe in a well rounded kid. If my child brings home a 90 vs a 93 because he/she is playing sports, in a band/play, volunteering, etc, then I am fine with it. I'd rather see them involved in things than sitting home doing nothing but school work. Now, if their grades go in the tank, we have a problem....and then we need to help our kids rethink their priorities and make sure school is in the front seat.

Jess

 

[Tink888]

Consider this.
It is up to the parent and the child to sign up for and participate in some fashion for a sport.
But it is soley up to the coach to decide if that kid plays or rides the bench.
In many if not all sports, and certainly more so in the grade school level, the coaches use a variety of criteria to determine who is in the game and who is not.
Apart from skill level, coaches look at work ethic, attitude, leadership, sportsmanship, comraderie etc. On and off the field. I would fully support a coach that said, well your little sowflake can sign up, practice and pay the fees all year, but if I don't or can't see progress in the above listed criteria, they don't play.

And a coach of any sport not sponsored through a school can evaluate all of those things on the field without requiring grades. After all, isn't that why most parents enrolls their kids in a sport......to learn a work ethic, teamwork, sportsmanship, skills and a love of the game.

In theory it sounds like a great idea but in reality it's not.

Take adult sports leagues for example: what if an adult who wanted to play on a softball league were suddenly required to provide a job history, criminal history and a credit report? One could make the argument that providing those goes to the character and work ethic of a player......the ability to hold down a job or pay your bills on time in a sense goes toward a person's character, ethics, attitude and leadership qualities. Would anyone have an issue with that?

Another issue is confidentiality. In a school setting there is a degree of confidentiality regarding a students grades. In most athletic associations would it be fair to say that there's a fair amount of gossip that goes on both on and off the field among parents and within the politics of the association? What degree of confidentiality do you think really exists among these associations which are made of primarily of other parents who are volunteering their time to coach. Would you want your child's grades, in addition to their playing skills, to be the subject of gossip within the league?

 

[tazdev3225]

As a coach, a parent and a grandparent I can see this from both sides. I know that the club I coach for and the league there is no requirement of passing grades to play. I DO however support any parent who comes to me and says that their son cannot play because of a bad grade. I had this happen last year and had to let the umpire know or we would have forfeited the game. Every player is required to play 2 innings. The parent wanted their son at the game to learn an invaluable lesson. If we need the player to field a team the boy knows that he will be sat at the next game. I only have 11 boys on my team and if a couple don't show up it's not fair to the other boys to lose the game this way. The parents know this up front and agree to this arrangement.
As a parent of 2 special ed kids I did not want them to be punished for their grades. The sports arena was the one place my kids excelled and I was not going to take that away from them. It was a huge confidence builder for them.
I can understand the coach wanting to take an interest in schoolwork but unless it is a requirement of the club or league I would leave it as optional, and at the discretion of the parent on how to discipline their child for bad grades.

 

[5lilfish]

But you don't get to decide, that is kind of the point. The coach gets to decide. If you want to be in charge, grab a whistle and a clipboard.
The OP was talking about kids as young as the third grade? I have never seen a sports program for kids that young that did not focus on being a well rounded kid on and off the field rather than playing time.

Not true...see my post above. The coach does not get to decide. Most recreational leagues have rules for equal playing time. If good grades is not a league rule then this volunteer coach has no business linking playing time and grades.

Jess

 

[Aisling]

I don't believe that punishing a child for bad grades is anyone elses job but the child's parent, I think the coach in this situation is way overstepping his boundaries.

I never though of it as "punishing" them. I just saw it as part of the discipline.

I don 't know what the coach/instructor did with children with learning disabilities, though. I assume if the parents spoke to him about the problem, there would be some leniency. But for the average kid, a passing grade of C isn't too much to ask for.

I may not sound like it, but I'm a parent who doesn't want to be told how to raise my kids. I don't like Big Brother over my shoulder. For some reason, the passing grade rule seemed reasonable to me. But I do understand and respect your opinion.

 

[5lilfish]

Another issue is confidentiality. In a school setting there is a degree of confidentiality regarding a students grades. In most athletic associations would it be fair to say that there's a fair amount of gossip that goes on both on and off the field among parents and within the politics of the association? What degree of confidentiality do you think really exists among these associations which are made of primarily of other parents who are volunteering their time to coach. Would you want your child's grades, in addition to their playing skills, to be the subject of gossip within the league?

Absolutely agree....granted my kids have good grades, but I still don't need certain busy-body parents to know what grades/comments my kids receive. It's none of their business.

Jess