my friend just doesnt think

[LovesTimone]

The person that almost got her killed was her ex-husband. Not the photographer. To put the blame on the photographer is inexcusable. I'm sorry your friend went through that, but the photographer is not, even partially, to blame.

I'm not blaming the photographer... but if they would have stopped just second and said Hi, I'm with the newspaper and I got these great pictures of you and your kids... is it alright to print it... perhaps this might not have happened...the picture just gave him the lead that he needed to find them, the paper was in the car when they arrested him...he is 100% to blame for what he did to her...

 

[sam_gordon]

Yes... if you have links to the team parents why not just ask... would it really hurt you to just ask...

For the third or fourth time... I don't post the pictures on social media. I don't know what other people do with them.
And, as mjkacmom said, what about the kids on the other team? As I said, I've probably taken thousands of pictures over the years in multiple sports with multiple teams. Not one parent has said anything to me (other than parents from our team saying "we love the pictures").

I'd have a hard time believing a random picture of someone I don't even know led to that. How would you know it was the picture that caused that? Because he told the police that's how he found her and the paper with the picture was in the car when the arrested him...

So this was a picture from a newspaper? Posted online? The picture must have been taken in public then.

 

[Kellykins1218]

I think the main social norm that has changed is the narcissism associated with all of this. First that ppl think they’re pics are so enthralling that they all must be shared & the idea that they have a right to share whatever they want b/c they enjoy it even if it effects others negatively.

 

[MamaBelle4]

I'm not blaming the photographer... but if they would have stopped just second and said Hi, I'm with the newspaper and I got these great pictures of you and your kids... is it alright to print it... perhaps this might not have happened...the picture just gave him the lead that he needed to find them, the paper was in the car when they arrested him...he is 100% to blame for what he did to her...

I think your expectations are unreasonable. The media has been around for how long? The media simply does not ask everyone if it is okay to print or air their picture or image. What about when a news anchor is doing a live segment and someone unknowingly walks in the camera's view. Do they need to stop filming the live segment to get express permission to air what they just filmed?

 

[CarolAnn856]

ITT...quite a few people who have no understanding of what rights they have - and do not have - in terms of photographs.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm not blaming the photographer... but if they would have stopped just second and said Hi, I'm with the newspaper and I got these great pictures of you and your kids... is it alright to print it... perhaps this might not have happened...the picture just gave him the lead that he needed to find them, the paper was in the car when they arrested him...he is 100% to blame for what he did to her...

I can totally respect that what happened to the person you know was horrific.

However, what if her ex-husband had randomly bumped into her? What if he picked her face out in a sea of people from a photo taken randomly. Your post from earlier wouldn't make any sense if he found her any other way other than a random photo in a newspaper. The fact that he says he did is the only thing you can find to pinpoint but it's entirely possible he could have found her by many other means.

Was she in the witness protection system? Did she have a restraining order against him? Had she changed her name legally and hidden herself away? Had she ensured her contact information wasn't available (it's amazing how much information can be found by a simple google search for example)? Did she own any property under her legal name that could be searchable? etc, etc, etc.

 

[smiths02]

I can totally respect that what happened to the person you know was horrific.

However, what if her ex-husband had randomly bumped into her? What if he picked her face out in a sea of people from a photo taken randomly. Your post from earlier wouldn't make any sense if he found her any other way other than a random photo in a newspaper. The fact that he says he did is the only thing you can find to pinpoint but it's entirely possible he could have found her by many other means.

Was she in the witness protection system? Did she have a restraining order against him? Had she changed her name legally and hidden herself away? Had she ensured her contact information wasn't available (it's amazing how much information can be found by a simple google search for example)? Did she own any property under her legal name that could be searchable? etc, etc, etc.

Just an FYI-No Witness Security Program participant, following program guidelines, has been harmed or killed while under the active protection of the U.S. Marshals Service.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Just an FYI-No Witness Security Program participant, following program guidelines, has been harmed or killed while under the active protection of the U.S. Marshals Service.

I wasn't stating that they had been harmed or killed while in the program .

I was simply asking if they had been in the program.

 

[smiths02]

I wasn't stating that they had been harmed or killed while in the program .

I was simply asking if they had been in the program.

I'm saying that there is no way she was because no one in the program has been harmed or killed.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm saying that there is no way she was because no one in the program has been harmed or killed.

Ah ok. I see.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Just an FYI-No Witness Security Program participant, following program guidelines, has been harmed or killed while under the active protection of the U.S. Marshals Service.

I don't know... Haven't you seen Bird on a Wire?

 

[Wendy31]

I don't know... Haven't you seen Bird on a Wire?

Oh my gosh!! I LOVE that movie!

 

[mummabear]

@LovesTimone Ypu do know that just by walking into a Disney park you are giving them permission to use your image.

Not to mention those ride shots with you in them are likely shared by a large percentage of people who buy them. Am I meant to get permission from others in my log?

 

[gotomu212]

Twenty years ago during a heat wave I was eating an ice cream cone at a local park. The ice cream was melting like crazy and somehow a photographer that I didn’t see got a picture of me with ice cream all over my hands, arms, and chin....that became the front page of our major metro newspaper the next day about how Everyone’s Losing It During This Heat Wave. In that case every single person in my city saw it and although my name wasn’t credited (or asked for) you absolutely knew it was me.

Sooooo this isn’t a new issue at all. In the grand scheme of things you can ask people not to post, you can change settings so you aren’t tagged, but really unless Bob the Ax Murderer happens to be friends with random party goers and happens to see a pic of you and your kids, and then from that contacts friend to ask where to find you to kill you...there just isn’t much point worrying that somehow you’ll be harmed by what someone else posts on their page. If you have friends that don’t respect your posting rules, they’re crap friends and you shouldn’t hang out with them.

Although it’s never bad advice that if you have a job where embarrassing pictures could cause a problem, don’t do embarrassing things in public or specifically tell all your friends to please not take pictures of it (this is a big thing when friends go through divorces and they say hey while the custody case is pending please don’t take pictures of me at a party or bar since it just gives the wrong impression).

 

[gotomu212]

I can’t believe other people think they have the right to share photos of other peoples children without the parents consent. Are you kidding me with the “just don’t go outside” attitude?
My brother works in a field with extremely violent offenders with varying degrees of mental illness. He should just be a-ok with his kids being on Facebook because you took the pictures? He doesn’t put pics of his own kids online and a friend or acquaintance doesn’t have the right to if he asks you not to. Luckily in real life we’ve yet to meet anyone who didn’t completely understand that it was a safety concern. They mention it nicely, everyone agrees that their need to post a pic of a birthday party doesn’t supersede child safety and that’s that. At our schools and sports groups we have to give written consent to be used in any social media. I just figured it was decent manners.

ETA.. I was at dinner with a group of moms from ds’s sports team this week. The photo taker asked if anyone minded if she shared on Facebook. I would do the same.

It just unfortunately doesn’t seem realistic. What is far more likely is that there are lots and lots of pictures of his kid online but unless he’s friends with every other parent he’d have zero way to know.

How does this kid play sports at a public field? Every single parent and grandparent are taking pictures and at least a huge share of these people are going to post pics of their kid(and presumably the other kids) on their social media. I know my son’s basketball team picture was shared by at least 8 of the 12 parents within an hour of taking it. Is your brother telling every parent not to post a team picture because that reall seems completely unreasonable and I can’t imagine every random team parent would agree to that (but again how would you ever know if they did or didn’t??) that’s just one example but I’d add birthday parties, playing at the park, going to the zoo, going to Disney....

I personally don’t do Facebook and I’m honestly not a fan of random pictures of my kids being online but I get that there’s no way for me to police who takes pictures of him (and at this age I’m not even at the parties and all the games either).