my friend just doesnt think

[mi*vida*loca]

It's not that serious.

 

[MamaBelle4]

I don't see anything wrong with it & think you totally overreacted. I do think that you coming here and criticizing her for it is rude especially when your own description of the picture makes it pretty clear she was using it to show off something she made.

Do you know how long it takes to make an Afghan? It is a labor of love. Materials for cheap yarn probably cost a minimum of $40, let alone higher quality yarn, plus your friend devoted hours to it. She was proud and wanted to share what she did AND your daughter's reaction. This is a huge over reaction in my opinion. I understand trying to keep minors off of social media, but for adults to react to negatively is unrealistic in my opinion. I guarantee you, you are on someone's Facebook somewhere.

ETA: I agree with the poster I quoted.

 

[nkereina]

In today's world, I would say your daughter is in the minority as someone who is adverse to social media. I'm sure your friend didn't think twice about posting it, so a simple "she stays off social media for work, can you edit her out" type of thing would suffice in that scenario. And if you have a FB and she posts a pic of you, its tough to argue she had no right. You're already on the site. You can also adjust your privacy settings so that if she tags you in photos, you can approve or deny it so it does or doesn't show up on your own page.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

If you don't want to be tagged, change your Facebook settings. I work in a high school, and have my FB so locked down so if I haven't friended you, you can't see anything but my profile photo, background photo (or whatever the bigger picture is called) and my name.

My FB is locked down. I don't want anyone posting pictures of me on their FB. I can't control everyone's privacy settings.

 

[DisneyOma]

My FB is locked down. I don't want anyone posting pictures of me on their FB. I can't control everyone's privacy settings.

But you can block the tagging. You can't stop people from taking your photo in public and posting it, except to stop going out in public. Doesn't mater that you don't want to be on there, they can take your photo and put it there, as long as it is in a public setting.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

As I mentioned previously, I'm not concerned about random strangers getting a picture of me in the background & putting it on social media. I don't want family & close friends to put pictures of me on their FB. Now that they know how I feel, it isn't an issue. If any of them chose to put a picture of me on their FB, I wouldn't allow them to take another picture of me.

 

[starry_solo]

Oh, beware there is also a teen tinder website called "spot a friend" that people are targeting teens. Some one made a fake account of my daughter in her high school cheer uniform (a picture they stole from Instagram). She came to me pretty upset about that. A guy friend as school found her pick, did a screen shot and sent to her asking if that was really her account. I emailed, sent a twitter, and facebook message to this company with no response.

Be careful about this. Some human traffickers do this to get new victims.

 

[sam_gordon]

As I mentioned previously, I'm not concerned about random strangers getting a picture of me in the background & putting it on social media. I don't want family & close friends to put pictures of me on their FB. Now that they know how I feel, it isn't an issue. If any of them chose to put a picture of me on their FB, I wouldn't allow them to take another picture of me.

Can you please explain what the difference is? If family/friends put a picture of you on FB but don't identify you is that OK? If not, how is that different than a stranger putting up a picture of you?

I'm not saying this to be snarky, I truly don't understand.

 

[DisneylandDarling]

I do get where you're coming from. Legally, once something is posted on FB (or just general internet), it is completely public. Doesn't matter if you have your privacy settings on full lock down, they can still be accessed one way or another.

 

[MomOfDisneyPrincess]

with the job my DD does she doesnt want anything to do with facebook or any of those type of sites

For those of you who think this is no big deal and an overreaction, what if this woman is an undercover police officer, works in a prison, is a district attorney, etc. All occupations where you would prefer to be anonymous and not on social media for the safety of yourself and your family. Is the first sentence of the OP being glossed over?

 

[sam_gordon]

For those of you who think this is no big deal and an overreaction, what if this woman is an undercover police officer, works in a prison, is a district attorney, etc. All occupations where you would prefer to be anonymous and not on social media for the safety of yourself and your family. Is the first sentence of the OP being glossed over?

Assuming the woman is not identified, but the picture is just posted, I still don't understand the concern. OK, maybe an undercover police officer if the picture doesn't fit the story, but what difference do the others make?

 

[LSUmiss]

In today's world the onus is on you (general) to inform people not to post a picture of you.

Which I think is part of why I get OPs complaint & depise most forms of social media. I don’t think I should have to remind ppl to respect my privacy, but, in today’s society it’s assumed that ppl want or don’t care about it.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Assuming the woman is not identified, but the picture is just posted, I still don't understand the concern. OK, maybe an undercover police officer if the picture doesn't fit the story, but what difference do the others make?

I mean, it's for a baby shower, probably pretty obvious at this point OP's daughter is pregnant.

 

[CarolAnn856]

For those of you who think this is no big deal and an overreaction, what if this woman is an undercover police officer, works in a prison, is a district attorney, etc. All occupations where you would prefer to be anonymous and not on social media for the safety of yourself and your family. Is the first sentence of the OP being glossed over?

No. But if I was that concerned, I would make my position clear upfront, especially at an event where I was the center of attention.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Can you please explain what the difference is? If family/friends put a picture of you on FB but don't identify you is that OK? If not, how is that different than a stranger putting up a picture of you?

I'm not saying this to be snarky, I truly don't understand.

Fair question. I have an abusive ex-husband from many years ago that I'm still afraid will go off the deep end someday. Obviously, he knows my first name & my extended family, but doesn't know my last name. I don't want any pictures of me posted online that could be connected to my full name or where I live. I realize, if he really wants to find my full name he could with some effort, but I don't want to make it easy for him. More than that, I don't want him to see pictures of me happy with my DH & DS to further fuel his anger. I always worry that he's a tragic event in his life away from hunting me down & trying to punish me by killing my family, then me. I don't post pictures on my own FB for the same reason, even though I have the most stringent privacy settings. Pictures of me in the background of some random person's pictures won't connect my picture to my name or put me on his radar.

 

[MomOfDisneyPrincess]

No. But if I was that concerned, I would make my position clear upfront, especially at an event where I was the center of attention.

I thought use your head--she once wanted to put a pic of DGD I told her my son would have a fit to have his DD on FB

It sounds like they already have made their position clear and this "friend" is ignoring it.

 

[Hikergirl]

It sounds like they already have made their position clear and this "friend" is ignoring it.

The OP made her position clear, but it wasn't a picture of the OP that was posted, it was a picture of her dd.
It was a baby shower, and obviously pictures were being taken. The OP's dd should have asked people not to post them on FB if she didn't want them to end up on there.

 

[Sleepy425]

As a foster mom, I have to be careful about pictures posted of my kids. Before my daughters were adopted, if we were at a party and someone was taking pictures I always asked that they please try not to post my daughters’ pics. My family learned the rules quickly, and would help spread the word if we were at a party where I didn’t know people. It wasn’t the end of the world if my girls ended up in a picture, we just made sure that we weren’t tagged in those pictures.
So I agree with what others are saying - if your daughter is adamant about not being on Social media, she needs to let her concerns be known while the pictures are being taken.

 

[NJlauren]

I have a friend where at her wedding she posted a sign asking people not to post pictures on social media. Everyone was very respectful. If it’s your shower and you don’t want them posted online, make it very clear.

 

[CarolAnn856]

It sounds like they already have made their position clear and this "friend" is ignoring it.

I'm not seeing that anywhere in the OP. It could be true, but you're just guessing. IMO, if the daughter's position was known, I imagine the thread would have been called "my friend just completely ignored my daughter's wishes."