My 13yo niece was crushed and publicly humilated

[coffeeandfags]

Phew, ive just read this whole thread. Just wanna send {{{{{hugs}}}}} to the OPs DN ...... as the mum of a 13 y.o., i wouldve been broken-hearted for my little girl if this had happened to her

One word though OP, KARMA......

 

[Camicar]

I actually feel a bit (a very tiny bit) bad for the girl who asked your niece to leave. Only in that treating people like this (and her parents supporting her horrible behavior) will backfire on her in life.

No, it won't. I know tons of people like that and they lead perfectly happy lives. They never get caught and if they do, they never feel any guilt or remorse bec they truly believe that the only important thing in life is pleasing themselves. If that is your MO, you have no guilt, no honor, and no remorse and so nothing that happens to you is your fault or something you deserved.

My MIL was one of them. When she died more than 300 people came to her funeral and were weeping and moaning about what a loss it was. We who knew her best were just agog at how well she had fooled so many people. The sickest one was this very nice little old Asian lady who was just sobbing. And we sat there knowing how my MIL had never referred to her by her real name in private, but always by a VERY derogatory racial slur. She did this even while she was dying after the lady would bring food over to the house. She was a witch up the end. And she had no regrets.

So, I wouldn't waste one atomic second of time feeling sorry for these horrible excuses of humanity. They would run you over without a second's thought.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

No, it won't. I know tons of people like that and they lead perfectly happy lives. They never get caught and if they do, they never feel any guilt or remorse bec they truly believe that the only important thing in life is pleasing themselves. If that is your MO, you have no guilt, no honor, and no remorse and so nothing that happens to you is your fault or something you deserved.

My MIL was one of them. When she died more than 300 people came to her funeral and were weeping and moaning about what a loss it was. We who knew her best were just agog at how well she had fooled so many people. The sickest one was this very nice little old Asian lady who was just sobbing. And we sat there knowing how my MIL had never referred to her by her real name in private, but always by a VERY derogatory racial slur. She did this even while she was dying after the lady would bring food over to the house. She was a witch up the end. And she had no regrets.

So, I wouldn't waste one atomic second of time feeling sorry for these horrible excuses of humanity. They would run you over without a second's thought.

Unfortunately you are 100% right.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

but don't you usually have mass several times on Sunday? Jewish services aren't usually like that.

Many, many churches only have one service on Sunday.

ANd once again you dont know how all congreagations work. The pastor would love to include as many people as possible, it is juts not possible . . .

We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. My education has taught me otherwise. There's always a way to be inclusive in church. That's what Christianity is all about, according to my theological perspective.

 

[Cindy B]

No, it won't. I know tons of people like that and they lead perfectly happy lives. They never get caught and if they do, they never feel any guilt or remorse bec they truly believe that the only important thing in life is pleasing themselves. If that is your MO, you have no guilt, no honor, and no remorse and so nothing that happens to you is your fault or something you deserved.

My MIL was one of them. When she died more than 300 people came to her funeral and were weeping and moaning about what a loss it was. We who knew her best were just agog at how well she had fooled so many people. The sickest one was this very nice little old Asian lady who was just sobbing. And we sat there knowing how my MIL had never referred to her by her real name in private, but always by a VERY derogatory racial slur. She did this even while she was dying after the lady would bring food over to the house. She was a witch up the end. And she had no regrets.

So, I wouldn't waste one atomic second of time feeling sorry for these horrible excuses of humanity. They would run you over without a second's thought.

I know exactly what you are saying. I have a family member who is the same way. I went to a function to honor this family member and I was shocked over all the accolades.

 

[TurboKitty]

I was wondering if there were any new updates.

I feel so badly for this poster's niece. I hope this week was uneventful for her compared to last weekend.

I am really trying to wrap my brain around about someone writing "that's what Christianity is all about" in a thread about teen bullying and a Jewish coming of age celebration.

 

[sha_lyn]

I was wondering if there were any new updates.

I feel so badly for this poster's niece. I hope this week was uneventful for her compared to last weekend.

I am really trying to wrap my brain around about someone writing "that's what Christianity is all about" in a thread about teen bullying and a Jewish coming of age celebration.

the comment was reguarding a church limiting the number of guest to a Communion.

 

[TurboKitty]

the comment was reguarding a church limiting the number of guest to a Communion.

Yes, I realize that. The actual comment just made me shake my head because #1 it seemed rather out of place in this thread and #2 it read as a tad judgemental to me, and somewhat unChristianlike in tone. YMMV.

 

[RitaZ.]

No, it won't. I know tons of people like that and they lead perfectly happy lives. They never get caught and if they do, they never feel any guilt or remorse bec they truly believe that the only important thing in life is pleasing themselves. If that is your MO, you have no guilt, no honor, and no remorse and so nothing that happens to you is your fault or something you deserved.

My MIL was one of them. When she died more than 300 people came to her funeral and were weeping and moaning about what a loss it was. We who knew her best were just agog at how well she had fooled so many people. The sickest one was this very nice little old Asian lady who was just sobbing. And we sat there knowing how my MIL had never referred to her by her real name in private, but always by a VERY derogatory racial slur. She did this even while she was dying after the lady would bring food over to the house. She was a witch up the end. And she had no regrets.

So, I wouldn't waste one atomic second of time feeling sorry for these horrible excuses of humanity. They would run you over without a second's thought.

You know, you're right. I think we all know people like that, unfortunately. There are people that are fooled by them. I've never understood that. Maybe the part of the brain that detects insincerity isn't functional in them.

 

[Avalon_toon]

I'm so sorry for your niece. I hope she can find comfort in her real friends, and I hope her mother's letters lead to some pretty instant karma for the other girl.

 

[mickaholic4077]

Many, many churches only have one service on Sunday.



We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. My education has taught me otherwise. There's always a way to be inclusive in church. That's what Christianity is all about, according to my theological perspective.

You know,for being a minister,I am shocked at the tone your post gives off. You make it sound as if your perspective is the only right one and others are wrong.(But then again,I'm American!!)

 

[akhenaten]

Many, many churches only have one service on Sunday.



We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. My education has taught me otherwise. There's always a way to be inclusive in church. That's what Christianity is all about, according to my theological perspective.

OT
well desire to be inclusive and actual church space can be two different things......perhaps you have never been to a Catholic mass that was so crowded you had to stand in a cowded vestibule, halfway out the door.....that is no was to celebrate a mass and I certainly would rather be limited in how many relatives I can bring to an occasion in order for my childs grandparents to be able to sit and experience the ceremony!!


OP hope your niece is recovering from her horrible experience....

 

[LisaNJ25]

You know,for being a minister,I am shocked at the tone your post gives off. You make it sound as if your perspective is the only right one and others are wrong.(But then again,I'm American!!)

Mr & Mrs Smith is a minister??

 

[kribit]

No, it won't. I know tons of people like that and they lead perfectly happy lives. They never get caught and if they do, they never feel any guilt or remorse bec they truly believe that the only important thing in life is pleasing themselves. If that is your MO, you have no guilt, no honor, and no remorse and so nothing that happens to you is your fault or something you deserved.
My MIL was one of them. When she died more than 300 people came to her funeral and were weeping and moaning about what a loss it was. We who knew her best were just agog at how well she had fooled so many people. The sickest one was this very nice little old Asian lady who was just sobbing. And we sat there knowing how my MIL had never referred to her by her real name in private, but always by a VERY derogatory racial slur. She did this even while she was dying after the lady would bring food over to the house. She was a witch up the end. And she had no regrets.

So, I wouldn't waste one atomic second of time feeling sorry for these horrible excuses of humanity. They would run you over without a second's thought.

I totally agree. The girl is old enough to understand what she did was horrible. I don't feel bad for someone that mean and vindictive.

 

[fey_spirit]

I keep seeing folks say they can't believe an adult would act this way... maybe parents need a wake up call as to exactly what some parents will do and how far they will go.

When I was a teen, my best friend and her mother were a little too close... almost Norman Bates and his mommy close. The mother and grandmother decided they didn't like me (I think they suspected we were more then friends). They couldn't convince my BF not to spend time with me without causing a war and the last thing they wanted to do was upset the little dear. So instead they started telling her lies about me, and when that didn't work because she would always come to me to get my side of the story, they started telling these lies to anyone who would listen.

Lies about promiscuity, lies about me being a thief... and on and on.

So yeah, I have no trouble at all believing adults are capable of this kind of thing, and don't doubt for a moment that grandma might very well have been lucid when she pulled the Queen Bee routine.

Your poor niece! That's just awful! Do you think maybe the grandmother has dementia? I can't imagine an adult doing something like that, otherwise.

 

[happygirl]

Exactly! To me, it would be like inviting people to the wedding reception but not allowing them come to the wedding. Weird.

actually I think the wedding thing is done alot


As far as the girl asking to leave, I bet the hostess went to the grandma and made a fake sob story that why the grandma asked her to leave, and that why the parents weren't involved in it, cause mom and dad would have know better

I'm so sorry that happed to you niece

 

[fey_spirit]

Isn't it the role of a minster/paster/priest/rabbi to give spiritual guidance and council? Shouldn't the one who is supposed to act as one of Deity's chosen speak out when one of his "flock" acts in such a morally and disgusting way?

I agree. I would find it incredibly weird if I received a letter from an angry parent about one of my parishioners. Honestly, I would probably put it in the trash. I'm their minister, not their disciplinary.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

You know,for being a minister,I am shocked at the tone your post gives off. You make it sound as if your perspective is the only right one and others are wrong.(But then again,I'm American!!)

I'm giving my opinion on the matter. I didn't say anyone was "wrong". In fact, I repeatedly stated that I simply had a different perspective. I was just explaining that perspective. I don't know why you would think that this goes against the role of minister.

Isn't it the role of a minster/paster/priest/rabbi to give spiritual guidance and council? Shouldn't the one who is supposed to act as one of Deity's chosen speak out when one of his "flock" acts in such a morally and disgusting way?

I guess it would depend on the denomination and on the individual minister. No, my role is to guide not to repremand or shame my congregants. It is to love them, even the ones whose actions I personally disagree with. Personally, if I received a letter like that, I would be talking to the person who wrote the letter first and encourage her to speak directly to the parents. I could certainly facilitate that conversation. I'm here to guide people; not to act for them.

 

[fey_spirit]

Tell me that you don't preach to "sinners about conversion" and I can respect this.

I guess it would depend on the denomination and on the individual minister. No, my role is to guide not to repremand or shame my congregants. It is to love them, even the ones whose actions I personally disagree with. Personally, if I received a letter like that, I would be talking to the person who wrote the letter first and encourage her to speak directly to the parents. I could certainly facilitate that conversation. I'm here to guide people; not to act for them.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

Tell me that you don't preach to "sinners about conversion" and I can respect this.

I belong to a liberal-mainline protestant denomination, if that helps.