Monster Under My Drivers Seat!!!! AGGHHHH!!!
- Thread starter JimFitz
- Start date
hrh_disney_queen
<font color=red>My DH has the hots for Stacey<br><
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I agree, no matter how many times, I love this story.. I thought it needed resurrecting today...
DisGirlAllie
DIS Legend
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ditto
Thanks for bumping this "hilarious" thread Allie! I really needed a good laugh...
OMG I didn't even mean to do that! I was searching for a different thread and just came across this! Sorry for bumping a thread from like a year ago even if it is a classic DIS story.
Principessa Alba
DIS Veteran
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- Aug 11, 2005
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- 926
Run like the fat man! This is just the laugh I was looking for!!! 
meloneyb21
DIS Veteran
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DisGirlAllie
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I still can't get over this story.
My parents were both laughing in hysterics.
My parents were both laughing in hysterics.
daisyduck123
<font color=green>I just love those parmesan mashe
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PrincessKitty1
Epcot is my happy place.
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Jim, you're GOTTA be a professional writer--if not, you've missed your calling! You could give Dave Barry a run for his money!
disneynutt1225
<font color=deeppink>I'm a fruit loop girl<br><fon
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2 years later and this post STILL has me laughing so hard I'm crying. Run like the wind, fat man!
Run like the wind, fat man! disneymarie
<font color=blue>Its a rumour about the donuts...<
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Thanks for the thread rebound, I REALLY needed a smile and laugh tonight. This story made my sad tears into happy ones in a moment!
I would like to share my animal stories if you don’t mind reading a few.
I live in some of God's county, a little bit of Camelot in the Pocono PA area. When I sing to the wind, the birds sing back to me.
I have Turkeys, in a waddle across my mountain to come down to the creek; the dear stop often to eat the berries and apples from my yard, the Bear as big as a Volkswagen sits against the front steps tearing his claws into my pumpkins shoving seeds into his mouth.
Earlier this spring, I looked outside and saw a garbage bag in my driveway. I went out to get it thinking a can tipped over and pick it up before the "animals" had it all over the yard. My darling "Tigger" cat ran out on me. I threw the bag into a can and upright it, then looked for Tigger.....As I rounded the corner I found more garbage bags, there were Captain Crunch with crunch berries all over....so was Tigger eating at the bottom of the bag left over food, and at the top of the bag, carefully using long *** claws was a HUGE bear ripping away at Fruity Pebbles!
I left out a half gasp unable to scream to "TIGGER!!!!" and ran to the front door! The two of them kept eating away!
There is a lot of beautify in our animal creatures, scares and laughs.
One evening my sister sat out on the back porch sneaking a smoke in PJ's and socks. Before puffing she threw her life saver away.
Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw a black cat. Slowly the kitty came over to her and started licking her sock toe....She looked down and saw the long white stripe on the nice little Kitty!
Unable to move, scream, or moves she had to sit there and leave the fella lick away the piece of life saver that had gotten stuck on her sock!
When he was finally finished and move slightly away she tore back into the house!
Another, I worked as a police officer, our area was growing with developments with many city folks. One really early morning hours I received a dispatch for a potential train derailment with chemical spill....The family home, was through the woods from the train tracks across the mountain. When I arrive on scene I see the home owner and quickly can evaluate the scene.....They owners are chasing their doggie and with a hose trying to rinse him off...They said he came in from his business and has a foul odor from the train spill......Without trying to totally losing it, I had to explain that there was no train derailment it was not a lethal chemical it was a SKUNK...to try a tomato juice bath... Case closed.
On a great spring afternoon along our business route which has a wooded rear area I was dispatched to the Curry Donuts. There was an animal in the dumpster and patrons could not use the drive through....When I arrived here is huge momma bear sitting on the ground with bags around her pulling out goodies. Picking through cups, and filled donuts, throwing over her shoulder the cake ones. Then coffee cups to wet all the jelly D's.
So as we are in their yard, I think I will just scare momma off with lights, horn or sirens...
Bad thing, Momma stood up took those big old paws and plopped them, boom onto the hood and starts to rock the cruiser....
OK, in reverse we go....sit back and close the drive through until momma is feed up!
There is no fighting Mother Nature...and the Donut shop got a suggest lock for the dumpster!
I had calls for Bats in the house, snakes in the garage, try to talk pet birds that escaped out of trees....Took home lost doggies that were so happy I got them home instead of the pound they gave me wet kisses....
I laughed at the squirrels that chased the CATS up the trees, and the ones that sat in trees and threw chestnuts at dogs from above.
This past winter, we had a Valentines Day super storm that dumped more then a foot of snow and three inches of ICE/SLEET. On my deck, a squirrel climbs to my kitchen window ledge looking in with ice handing from its face and fur, with two little paws up begging to come in..., While the FIVE cats sat there going go ahead Mom!
I went out and made a shelter and left some cat food for it. Ever since, this nice size fella returns while my daughter gets ready for school in the morning looking in the patio door to the kitchen....while "Tigger" holds the sheer back. So funny they are nose to nose.
Last week Tigger brought home a chipmunk.....in his mouth he thought he would bring it in for the gang to play with...well no way! I tell him Tigger put it down! He thinks about it lays it down and there it lays, RIP on its back four paws to Heaven. Well, I think there is another gift for hubby to remove. After about 30 seconds I see this chipmunk open its eyes flip over and run off, LOL, It had been playing dead. Tigger just looked at it and I laughed so hard.
How about a hot draught summer day, as your washing away the dished my dad comes about ten feet from my back door, a concrete pad on the old homestead....He ask if I have a snake in the house? A Snake I ask, why? He said the kids came to get him that they saw a snake come in the house....As I say to him, why would they say that, and I turn to look out the door....OMG there is a HUGE at least 6 foot long copperhead! It was coiled into the folds of a hefty bag on the floor.
I let out an inhuman scream of a real life zombie!
There it was not 4 foot from me! I went straight up in the air to the sink and counter as it started to slither around...Dad got a snow shovel and got it out the door, but I was so bad he thought it bit me and did not get it killed before checking on me.....
Boy, when I got the calls for snakes in garages...did I take a slow ride to those.
Tonight, a development behind me called 911 and I listened to the call on my scanner. A bear was on the yard between two houses.....it was right in their housing development....Well, a year and half ago, there were no houses there, that is the other side of my mountain where the Bears have lived her longer then I have, my parents, grand parents and great-great grandparents,
Thanks again for making a really sad night into a good laugh and lots of fond memories.
Dianne
I would like to share my animal stories if you don’t mind reading a few.
I live in some of God's county, a little bit of Camelot in the Pocono PA area. When I sing to the wind, the birds sing back to me.
I have Turkeys, in a waddle across my mountain to come down to the creek; the dear stop often to eat the berries and apples from my yard, the Bear as big as a Volkswagen sits against the front steps tearing his claws into my pumpkins shoving seeds into his mouth.
Earlier this spring, I looked outside and saw a garbage bag in my driveway. I went out to get it thinking a can tipped over and pick it up before the "animals" had it all over the yard. My darling "Tigger" cat ran out on me. I threw the bag into a can and upright it, then looked for Tigger.....As I rounded the corner I found more garbage bags, there were Captain Crunch with crunch berries all over....so was Tigger eating at the bottom of the bag left over food, and at the top of the bag, carefully using long *** claws was a HUGE bear ripping away at Fruity Pebbles!
I left out a half gasp unable to scream to "TIGGER!!!!" and ran to the front door! The two of them kept eating away!
There is a lot of beautify in our animal creatures, scares and laughs.
One evening my sister sat out on the back porch sneaking a smoke in PJ's and socks. Before puffing she threw her life saver away.
Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw a black cat. Slowly the kitty came over to her and started licking her sock toe....She looked down and saw the long white stripe on the nice little Kitty!
Unable to move, scream, or moves she had to sit there and leave the fella lick away the piece of life saver that had gotten stuck on her sock!
When he was finally finished and move slightly away she tore back into the house!
Another, I worked as a police officer, our area was growing with developments with many city folks. One really early morning hours I received a dispatch for a potential train derailment with chemical spill....The family home, was through the woods from the train tracks across the mountain. When I arrive on scene I see the home owner and quickly can evaluate the scene.....They owners are chasing their doggie and with a hose trying to rinse him off...They said he came in from his business and has a foul odor from the train spill......Without trying to totally losing it, I had to explain that there was no train derailment it was not a lethal chemical it was a SKUNK...to try a tomato juice bath... Case closed.
On a great spring afternoon along our business route which has a wooded rear area I was dispatched to the Curry Donuts. There was an animal in the dumpster and patrons could not use the drive through....When I arrived here is huge momma bear sitting on the ground with bags around her pulling out goodies. Picking through cups, and filled donuts, throwing over her shoulder the cake ones. Then coffee cups to wet all the jelly D's.
So as we are in their yard, I think I will just scare momma off with lights, horn or sirens...
Bad thing, Momma stood up took those big old paws and plopped them, boom onto the hood and starts to rock the cruiser....
OK, in reverse we go....sit back and close the drive through until momma is feed up!
There is no fighting Mother Nature...and the Donut shop got a suggest lock for the dumpster!
I had calls for Bats in the house, snakes in the garage, try to talk pet birds that escaped out of trees....Took home lost doggies that were so happy I got them home instead of the pound they gave me wet kisses....
I laughed at the squirrels that chased the CATS up the trees, and the ones that sat in trees and threw chestnuts at dogs from above.
This past winter, we had a Valentines Day super storm that dumped more then a foot of snow and three inches of ICE/SLEET. On my deck, a squirrel climbs to my kitchen window ledge looking in with ice handing from its face and fur, with two little paws up begging to come in..., While the FIVE cats sat there going go ahead Mom!
I went out and made a shelter and left some cat food for it. Ever since, this nice size fella returns while my daughter gets ready for school in the morning looking in the patio door to the kitchen....while "Tigger" holds the sheer back. So funny they are nose to nose.
Last week Tigger brought home a chipmunk.....in his mouth he thought he would bring it in for the gang to play with...well no way! I tell him Tigger put it down! He thinks about it lays it down and there it lays, RIP on its back four paws to Heaven. Well, I think there is another gift for hubby to remove. After about 30 seconds I see this chipmunk open its eyes flip over and run off, LOL, It had been playing dead. Tigger just looked at it and I laughed so hard.
How about a hot draught summer day, as your washing away the dished my dad comes about ten feet from my back door, a concrete pad on the old homestead....He ask if I have a snake in the house? A Snake I ask, why? He said the kids came to get him that they saw a snake come in the house....As I say to him, why would they say that, and I turn to look out the door....OMG there is a HUGE at least 6 foot long copperhead! It was coiled into the folds of a hefty bag on the floor.
I let out an inhuman scream of a real life zombie!
There it was not 4 foot from me! I went straight up in the air to the sink and counter as it started to slither around...Dad got a snow shovel and got it out the door, but I was so bad he thought it bit me and did not get it killed before checking on me.....
Boy, when I got the calls for snakes in garages...did I take a slow ride to those.
Tonight, a development behind me called 911 and I listened to the call on my scanner. A bear was on the yard between two houses.....it was right in their housing development....Well, a year and half ago, there were no houses there, that is the other side of my mountain where the Bears have lived her longer then I have, my parents, grand parents and great-great grandparents,
Thanks again for making a really sad night into a good laugh and lots of fond memories.
Dianne
- Joined
- Dec 15, 1998
- Messages
- 27,075
This thread is worth a bump. 
Disneynutbsv
DIS Veteran<br><font color=deeppink>If I had kept
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- Jan 16, 2005
- Messages
- 5,073
Still funny!!!
Someone should bump up the bikini wax thread
Someone should bump up the bikini wax thread
LivelyLissa
<font color=sienna>I was very confused. Of course,
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2008
- Messages
- 215
Oh my goodness that was funny!!!!!!!
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