Moms of 1st graders: when is bedtime?

[Louisianafive]

My 6 and 8 yr. old DD's go to bed at 7pm. However, they listen to music or watch a short movie and usually are asleep by 8pm. My 13 yr old DD starts around 7:30pm, but is up antil 8:30pm. 13 yr old is ADD and needs the schedule and if goes to bed any later is absolutely horrible the next day. They all wake in the morning around 6:00 am. And on the evenings when we have sports or church they are so ready to be in bed when we get home later than usual! This also gives me and DH some alone time to unwind nd prepare for the next day.

I have had some people tell me I am nuts for putting them to bed early! But you know what? These are my children and this works best for my family!!

 

[Hannathy]

We have told DD that with each new grade we will allow her an extra 15 min.
K-7p
1-7:15
2-7:30
3-7:45
4-8:00
5-8:15
6-8:30
7:8:45
8-9:00
9-9:15
10-9:30
11-9:45
12-10:00

I can always tell the parents of little ones! I wouldn't carve these times in stone for the upper grades. 8:45 for a 7th grader, yeah right. Concerts don't even start till 7 sports practice goes to 6 and then they have a couple of hours of homework. Things like dance and confirmation run till 8 or 9. School dances go till at least 9 or 930. I can just see my 8th grader telling her friends I have to leave the dance cause it is my bed time- that would be great for the social standing! Middle school basketball games go till 9 or so. And what senior with a job and tons of homework is going to go to bed at 10? The key to raising children is being flexible.

 

[Benducci]

My girls start for bed around 7:30pm - asleep by 8. We get up at 6:45am & are out the door by 7:45 am.

 

[Benducci]

I can always tell the parents of little ones! I wouldn't carve these times in stone for the upper grades. 8:45 for a 7th grader, yeah right. Concerts don't even start till 7 sports practice goes to 6 and then they have a couple of hours of homework. Things like dance and confirmation run till 8 or 9. School dances go till at least 9 or 930. I can just see my 8th grader telling her friends I have to leave the dance cause it is my bed time- that would be great for the social standing! Middle school basketball games go till 9 or so. And what senior with a job and tons of homework is going to go to bed at 10? The key to raising children is being flexible.

For special things like dances, I could see staying up later but why not have an earlier bedtime for those off nights? I don't see what is wrong with that. to be honest, it sounds like your 8th grader is dictating to you rather than the other way around. Sleep is important at that age. Make some rules, stick to them & have times for exceptions. You said it yourself that the key is flexibility.
For high school, I would set the limit at 11. No later. Again, they have to get up earlier for school & need just as much sleep. And if they have job, they should not be out that late. When do they get the chance to do their homework? Homework should be first priority.

 

[Hannathy]

For high school, I would set the limit at 11. No later. Again, they have to get up earlier for school & need just as much sleep. And if they have job, they should not be out that late. When do they get the chance to do their homework? Homework should be first priority.

Oh don't preach to me about homework being the first priority my DD is very advanced and in very academic classes and that is one reason you can't have bedtimes in high school. If she has 1 1/2 hrs of reading for 3 AP classes plus other homework what is she supposed to do tell her teachers don't give me homework I have to be in bed by 10. Some nights the homework takes till midnight. My DD is actually past 8th grade and none of my kids dictate to me, but by the time they are that age I'm not dictating to them either, they are too intelligent for that and I wouldn't insult them by dictating. we work together. Do you have an 8th grader or above. School is not like our times you have to have very tough classes and a lot of outside activities if you hope to get into a competitive school now, it is very tough and early bedtimes don't fit into that schedule. And on top of that bedtime has never been a battle for us because we don't stick to a time and my kids are thriving so there is no right or wrong. if you want to be rigid on bedtimes go ahead but at our house we never will be.

 

[tigger813]

Our first grader, soon to be second grader, goes to bed at 7:30 on school nights and 8 on weekends. We will move to 8 or 8:30 during the summer. This year she has gotten up at 6:15 and leaves for school with Daddy at 7:25.
Next year she will take the bus to school and home again (8:25 and 3:15)each day instead of going to a before and after school program.
She's never been a big sleeper though sometimes on weekends she'll sleep until 7:30 or 8. She usually doesn't actually go to sleep until 8:30 or 9 sometimes even later.

 

[PaMom001]

My DD10, 11 on 6/20, goes to bed now at 8:30 with lights out at 9:00. At age 7 she went to bed by 7 with lights out by 7:30. She always sleeps like a log. She can sleep 12-13 hours easy.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I can always tell the parents of little ones! I wouldn't carve these times in stone for the upper grades. 8:45 for a 7th grader, yeah right. Concerts don't even start till 7 sports practice goes to 6 and then they have a couple of hours of homework. Things like dance and confirmation run till 8 or 9. School dances go till at least 9 or 930. I can just see my 8th grader telling her friends I have to leave the dance cause it is my bed time- that would be great for the social standing! Middle school basketball games go till 9 or so. And what senior with a job and tons of homework is going to go to bed at 10? The key to raising children is being flexible.

I'm sorry, i don't think i asked for your opinion.


This is just an example of these over stressed over sceduled kids we have running around here today. While I do think that a Senior in High School is an exception and should be allowed more freedom. I do believe that certin activities should not be held if it interferes with an appropriate bedtime. School dances, are normally Friday/Saturday nights. Games are usually once a week. These are not daily things. I have a 5 year old in soccer now that has games at 6pm. And we make the exception for games and practice nights. It was a guideline. An over obsessive, anal rentive guidline that DH and I have dreams of...OKAY???
lol

 

[dee1923]

I think 8 is good. bed time for my son is at 8 ( he is 4) , yes sometimes 9 but rarely.
He has to wake up at 8:00 because he starts preschool at 9.

 

[MOMtoZachEvanGrace]

My first grade DS7 goes to bed at 8:30, with an occassional 9pm sneaking in. He wakes up at 7:30am. He is allowed to stay up late on weekends and of course while at DISNEY!

 

[Starr W.]

I'm sorry, i don't think i asked for your opinion.


This is just an example of these over stressed over sceduled kids we have running around here today. While I do think that a Senior in High School is an exception and should be allowed more freedom. I do believe that certin activities should not be held if it interferes with an appropriate bedtime. School dances, are normally Friday/Saturday nights. Games are usually once a week. These are not daily things. I have a 5 year old in soccer now that has games at 6pm. And we make the exception for games and practice nights. It was a guideline. An over obsessive, anal rentive guidline that DH and I have dreams of...OKAY???
lol

Don't go to your elementary school's spring art/muscial festival when the music teacher is retiring at the end of the year! Yikes it ran behind, then 4th grade was the last to perform. Fine this is now 8:30, then music teacher gets up and gives her "farewell speech" and sings a song(with 4th graders stuck on stage). Then all the kids who did Jr Jazzers with her over the years mob the stage, thank god for the 4th grade teachers started herding their students off(they probably wanted to get home too). So long story short it was about 9:30 ish by the time we got home(and you had to have a pardon from the governor of Ohio to get out of performing, it was part of their grade).

After my rant, 8:30 bedtime(4th grader and incoming kindergartener both). They head up about 8:15 to get washed.

 

[PollyannaMom]

It's great to read that some 1st graders have bedtimes similar to my DS (upstairs around 7:30, shooting for asleep before 8:00) - because I was just thinking earlier today how he is surrounded by kids who stay up later, and wondering what am I going to do when he starts really being miserable about it!

But as some other posters mentioned, he just won't sleep in!! He wakes up on his own - usually after 10 hrs, but is definitely "a little more angelic" on the rare occasions that he sleeps for 11. Will check out the website someone posted - thanks in advance.

 

[write2caro]

Oh don't preach to me about homework being the first priority my DD is very advanced and in very academic classes and that is one reason you can't have bedtimes in high school. If she has 1 1/2 hrs of reading for 3 AP classes plus other homework what is she supposed to do tell her teachers don't give me homework I have to be in bed by 10. Some nights the homework takes till midnight. My DD is actually past 8th grade and none of my kids dictate to me, but by the time they are that age I'm not dictating to them either, they are too intelligent for that and I wouldn't insult them by dictating. we work together. Do you have an 8th grader or above. School is not like our times you have to have very tough classes and a lot of outside activities if you hope to get into a competitive school now, it is very tough and early bedtimes don't fit into that schedule. And on top of that bedtime has never been a battle for us because we don't stick to a time and my kids are thriving so there is no right or wrong. if you want to be rigid on bedtimes go ahead but at our house we never will be.

Geez, Hannathy! While I think you often make some good points, it's sometimes hard to hear them if you sound so angry. While my kids are both very young (2+yrs & 9 mos), I remember what it was like for me in middle and high school. There would have been no way for me to keep up with my course load and be in bed by 9pm or even 10 or 11pm on some nights. I was in all accelerated classes and doing well, preparing for competitive college admission. By high school I certainly didn't have a set bedtime - that would have seemed really odd to me, actually. Hannathy, I think you're right about flexibility being key.

That said, my little ones have a fairly strict set bedtime for now...7:30pm!! I'll take it while I can get it!!

ETA: Perhaps I should add that I've always needed less sleep than average, which is why I am glad my parents were flexible and saw that some late nights were not a problem for me, even back when I was in 1st grade. My sister would still sleep 12 hours a night if she could, so everyone's different!!

 

[TSMRunnels]

I think this thread started out as being info. for little ones, not jr. high or high school? But since there have been some post for these I just had to put my two cents worth in. I use to teach Jr. High and High School Science. I became very concerned about what I saw. I just wanted to tell the kids --please RELAX, a little. I have never seen such stressed out kids as the ones that were in my honors class. Yes, school is important but no you don't have to stress yourself out to get into a good University. You don't have to be involved in all the sports and all the community events. Both my children are still rather young 8 & 10 and both go to bed at 8:30. When they are older I don't know that they will be in the IB (AP, etc)programs. I just recently removed both of them from the gifted and talented school here because of the amount of work they were giving. They can get into really good schools with regular or Honors classes. My husband is incredibly smart had the highest score on ACT but was not in IB programs and got into a very good school-- he is making very good money, enough that I can stay home with my kiddos. Everyone needs enough sleep to be able to perform at the best of their abilities and yes this changes over the years but as parents whether of elementary, jr. or high school it is our responsibility to enforce rules for their own good. The time for stressing is while you are getting your undergraduate to try and move on up to a graduate school.
Take Care,
Good sleep wishes for all -- hee hee
tam

 

[Benducci]

Oh don't preach to me about homework being the first priority my DD is very advanced and in very academic classes and that is one reason you can't have bedtimes in high school. If she has 1 1/2 hrs of reading for 3 AP classes plus other homework what is she supposed to do tell her teachers don't give me homework I have to be in bed by 10. Some nights the homework takes till midnight. My DD is actually past 8th grade and none of my kids dictate to me, but by the time they are that age I'm not dictating to them either, they are too intelligent for that and I wouldn't insult them by dictating. we work together. Do you have an 8th grader or above. School is not like our times you have to have very tough classes and a lot of outside activities if you hope to get into a competitive school now, it is very tough and early bedtimes don't fit into that schedule. And on top of that bedtime has never been a battle for us because we don't stick to a time and my kids are thriving so there is no right or wrong. if you want to be rigid on bedtimes go ahead but at our house we never will be.

Did I pick on your daughter specifically? I don't recall you mentioning her in your post. You mentioned a senior doing homework & having a job which is what I was responding to. I think a senior in high school should put their schoolwork ahead of a job. Is your daughter a senior in high school with a job? And I never said I was rigid with bedtimes. My kids stay up when there are special things going on. Tonight for example. My dh had to go into work emergency & came home late. It was a rough day for him and he wanted to go out to the mall & eat. We all went. We got home at 9:30. My kids were up even though it was an hour & half past their bedtime. But for the most part, they go to bed by 7:30 -8pm. That will be adjusted as they get older. But I cannot see letting them stay up late on a daily basis. They will not be able to do it. My kids need sleep. Obviously your kids do not need as much sleep.
I went back & read through the entire post. You answered the OP's question & then felt the need to continue to post arguing with people about their ideas of parenting & bedtimes & what-not. Not once did anyone pinpoint you or your family & yet you reacted as if they did. I do not understand this. Your method of parenting is working for you according to you. No one is saying otherwise. What works for you will not work for someone else. You said that yourself.

 

[Benducci]

I think this thread started out as being info. for little ones, not jr. high or high school?

True- the OP's original post was asking the question of parents with FIRST GRADERS!!

 

[Hannathy]

I debated whether to respond again and decided to. I was responding to the rigid unrealistic bedtimes posted for a teenager by threemuskeeter. And it reminded me of the statements by a childless person and how their kids would never do what they see other people's kids doing and asked if they had teenagers. I do have a teenager and I know the expectations and realistic time demands on them and I don't know any that have a set bedtime especially as early as 9. I also got defensive when Benducci told me my DD was dictating and leading me around and that I didn't feel school was important. As far as getting into schools if you haven't had anyone apply for college in the last 5 yrs you have no idea of the change in competition levels and what used to get you into a very fine school will not get you into many large state universities-but that is another thread that was an eye opener for some with kids approaching college. So enjoy your little ones and remember 8-10 yrs from now how your 16 yr old was going to go to bed at 9 and see how often that happens.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I debated whether to respond again and decided to. I was responding to the rigid unrealistic bedtimes posted for a teenager by threemuskeeter. And it reminded me of the statements by a childless person and how their kids would never do what they see other people's kids doing and asked if they had teenagers. I do have a teenager and I know the expectations and realistic time demands on them and I don't know any that have a set bedtime especially as early as 9. I also got defensive when Benducci told me my DD was dictating and leading me around and that I didn't feel school was important. As far as getting into schools if you haven't had anyone apply for college in the last 5 yrs you have no idea of the change in competition levels and what used to get you into a very fine school will not get you into many large state universities-but that is another thread that was an eye opener for some with kids approaching college. So enjoy your little ones and remember 8-10 yrs from now how your 16 yr old was going to go to bed at 9 and see how often that happens.

DO YOU HONESTLY BELIVE THAT I DON"T KNOW THAT IS UNREALISTIC. (SEE MY LAST POST>>about dh's and I and our anal unrealistic dreams.) Geesh lady. How about we all just do what is best for our OWN KIDS at the time. And stay out of everyone elses buisness. okay.good.

oh and PS...if you know that your childs bedtime is what fits best for him/her..why do you find it so nessecary to defend? WHO CARES. I was just giving a suggestion the other night. ON A LATE NIGHT MYSELF..where I had not slept in days b/c of work. And yes, DH and I both have just recently graduated with Masters degrees, so I know how hard it is to get into college these days. We also have a 12 year old nephew that we are raising and have been raising since he was 6, SO...I know a bit about older kids scedules as well. And Let me tell ya, I would have given anything to have an 8:30 bedtime this week, and I am all grown up!

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Did I pick on your daughter specifically? I don't recall you mentioning her in your post. You mentioned a senior doing homework & having a job which is what I was responding to. I think a senior in high school should put their schoolwork ahead of a job. Is your daughter a senior in high school with a job? And I never said I was rigid with bedtimes. My kids stay up when there are special things going on. Tonight for example. My dh had to go into work emergency & came home late. It was a rough day for him and he wanted to go out to the mall & eat. We all went. We got home at 9:30. My kids were up even though it was an hour & half past their bedtime. But for the most part, they go to bed by 7:30 -8pm. That will be adjusted as they get older. But I cannot see letting them stay up late on a daily basis. They will not be able to do it. My kids need sleep. Obviously your kids do not need as much sleep.
I went back & read through the entire post. You answered the OP's question & then felt the need to continue to post arguing with people about their ideas of parenting & bedtimes & what-not. Not once did anyone pinpoint you or your family & yet you reacted as if they did. I do not understand this. Your method of parenting is working for you according to you. No one is saying otherwise. What works for you will not work for someone else. You said that yourself.

I agree with you completley, i was just trying to give OP some ideas last night with our experiences. And I feel so often like Mom's attack (???) WHY??
Shouldn't we all just do what is best for OUR OWN kids?
This is all so stupid. Why are people so defensive over when they put their kids to SLEEP?

 

[Benducci]

I debated whether to respond again and decided to. I was responding to the rigid unrealistic bedtimes posted for a teenager by threemuskeeter. And it reminded me of the statements by a childless person and how their kids would never do what they see other people's kids doing and asked if they had teenagers. I do have a teenager and I know the expectations and realistic time demands on them and I don't know any that have a set bedtime especially as early as 9. I also got defensive when Benducci told me my DD was dictating and leading me around and that I didn't feel school was important. As far as getting into schools if you haven't had anyone apply for college in the last 5 yrs you have no idea of the change in competition levels and what used to get you into a very fine school will not get you into many large state universities-but that is another thread that was an eye opener for some with kids approaching college. So enjoy your little ones and remember 8-10 yrs from now how your 16 yr old was going to go to bed at 9 and see how often that happens.

Again, you put words into people's mouths. I never said that your dd was leading you around & you felt school was unimportant. Again I was making general comment which you felt was personal. I do not know your personal history. You also made a comment about ThreeMusketeers rigid &unrealistic bedtimes. She never said she was rigid about it & came back to say that she felt there were times that it should be flexible.
You also are making assumptions about applying for college & high school. The topic was not about that - it was about bedtimes for first graders. I replied to that as did threemusketeers. You took it to another level. We did not address high school & college.
I have 3 little ones. I do not think it would be unrealistic to expect them to go to bed at a reasonable time when they are teens. Again yes, there are times that the rules need to be bent but for the most part, I think teenagers need just as much sleep as little ones. Their brains are growing also. I wish your dd success in her achievements.