Moms of 1st graders: when is bedtime?

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Research has shown that kids that age need 10-12 hours of sleep. If they do not receive this amount on average then they can start displaying symptoms of ADHD. I wonder how many medicated kids out there just need to have a stricter bedtime. My 10 year old goest to bed at 8p.m, wakes at 6:30-7:00am. She wants a later bedtime but I pulled up the research online and told her when she was 12 we would discuss the change. Of course, when there is a sleepover she gets to stay up way late - funny thing is she still gets up at the same time. Most kids wake around the same time no matter if they go to sleep on schedule or later - they just end up with a shortage of sleep time. Here is one website that is easy for your child to understand - http://www.sleepforkids.org/html/you.html
Take Care,
Tam
tam
Good luck.
tam

Definitely a good web site, but not sure any of my kids would really care about the research aspect of it all. I don't debate things like bedtime with my kids so I wouldn't even bother citing medical studies to them. The ADHD thing, well, I'm not a doctor, so what I think would be pure speculation. I agree about the sleep shortage and waking up at the same time regardless of bedtime, think that happens with adults too though. Maybe that is why we try and catch up on weekends and then are so messed up on Monday morning.

 

[TSMRunnels]

My kids want reasons for everything so the website helped us. We have a family rule that if we don't have a reason for something then we need to sit down in a family council and decide if we are going to change the rule, etc. So sometimes my husband and I can't explain a rule - just something we grew up with - so we delete the rule or change it. After I showed my 10 year the website -- she agreed that we would put the sleeping later discussion on hold.
Take Care,
Tam

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

my 3 and a 1/2 y.o. goes to bed around 8:00 every night with no napping and gets up around 6:30 a.m. ...

 

[5fordisney]

Interesting post! I've often wondered what time others put their kids to bed! Our family tends to be the go to bed later, sleep in later when we can type so bedtime here for my 4, 5 and 7 year olds is anywhere from 8:30-9:30. However, the earliest anyone of them gets up is 7:45. That's still 10-11 hours of sleep for my kids per night. Weekends, bedtime is about an hour later, yet my kids will sleep in until 10:00-10:30 no matter when they go to sleep. Early risers think we are crazy, yet we think friends who get up at 6:30 on the weekends are crazy! I think as long as your kids get the amount of sleep they need to grow and develop, what timeframe they are doing it in shouldn't matter.

 

[Gomez Gang]

our kids (ages 7,8 and 11) go upstairs at 9:00 to start "the ritual" (brush teeth, wash face, set out clothes for next day, say prayers)
they shut thier eyes about 9:30 but they sleep until 7:15 a.m.during the week. personally, I would like them to go to bed earlier but I work 4 nights a week and my husband is a softie with bedtime.

weekends and vacations, anything goes!!!!!!!

no, you are not a mean mommie..........you are a good parent to keep your kids on track and give them a schedule.
kids need routines!

 

[Hannathy]

I think as long as your kids get the amount of sleep they need to grow and develop, what timeframe they are doing it in shouldn't matter.

Amen! There is no right time for bed. do what works for you and your child. Not every child needs the same amount of sleep and not every family runs on the same schedule.

 

[Hope73]

A friend of mine has two sets of Twins 2@4yrs, 2@6yrs first grade and a third grader. She puts to bed at 8 pm mainly for her and husband to have quiet time.

 

[bunny]

I think the other poster was correct in her assumption that children with stay at home parents go to bed earlier. I work. By the time I get home, eat dinner, clean up, etc it is close to 7. I usually do some work around the house and then from 8 to 9 we do something together as a family whether it is watching TV, playing a game, or going outside. At 9 PM we start getting ready for bed and my second grader is in bed at 9:30. He gets up by himself between 7 and 7:15. He has always been on the high honors roll. Now my 4 year old takes a nap at daycare (which he doesn't need!) and goes to bed around 10:30. My husband and I don't really have any alone time together. I guess that is just another pitfall of having two parents working. But we are also not willing to sacrifice time with our children for that.

So for you moms that put your kids to bed between 7 and 8, do your husbands get to spend any time with the kids during the week? Also isn't it still light outside?

 

[Whosemom]

We have the homework out of the way before Dad gets home, and eat fairly early, like 5:00. We almost always are able to sit down together for the meal. Then, if its not dance night or Bible study or, or, or...we have the evening together. Then DH has bed-time duty. I figure the two times the monkeys want to talk is as soon as they get home, and at bed-time, so he needs to do it to stay in touch.

I do often feel bad for my friends who pick up the kids on the way home from work at 5:30, fight the HW battle, get supper on, do a chore or two and fall exhausted into bed. In our house, that would be chaos.

 

[vanreg]

My 1st grader is in bed by 7:30-8pm and falls asleep instantly. Her 4yr old sister goes to bed at 7:15 and my 4th grader (10yrs) goes to bed by 8:30-9pm.

They have always slept alot---19-20hrs as babies. I find that if they miss their bedtime, the next day is a nightmare with a ton of whining.

In the summer, they are usually up a little later, but can sleep later in the morning also.

 

[kinntj]

My DH gets home at 7pm, so having the kids go to bed between 7 and 8 isn't going to work. My 3 year old goes to bed at 8:30 and our almost 5 year old goes to bed at 9pm. They both get up at 7am. When they are school age we'll adjust as needed. My DD is in afternoon K next year, so we'll still have the same schedule. Once she hits all day school, she might be ready to hit the hay earlier.

 

[JerJan]

My first grader goes to bed at 8:30 and gets up at 7:30 (she gets 45 minutes on her TV timer) so she really goes to sleep around 9:15. We let her stay up until 9:00 on the weekends and maybe 9:00 or 9:30 this summer......

 

[nmartin]

My little boy who is in grade 1 and will be 7yrs in October and is bathed at 7pm and then we do homework. He is usually in bed at 7:45 to 8pm. Me and my husdand were talking about this just tonight how others think this is way to earily. Our neighbour's kids are outside until 9pm and have just turned 1yr and 5yrs old. I believe (although I often question this decision) that my children are better off for it. They know the routine and bedtime is not a hassle at all. They awake earlier in the morning than other children but in the long run it leaves more time in the evening for the parents and makes mornings easier than having to rush children out of bed to get out of the house on time for school/work. This schedule stays the same on weekends most nights unless something special is going on. This works for us and we are not asked continuously to stay up later. As he enters grade 2, I will allow him the choice to stay up to 815 to 830pm if he chooses to read in bed to instill the love to read (I beleive this is the time to develop the passion for books)

In the end each parent know what is best for our individual children but when others question our parenting skills we question ourselves

 

[dementia412]

Mine are 4, 6, and 7. They all usually go to bed at 8:30, 8:00 if they are acting loopy. Once in a while we let them stay up because a special movie is on or (we did this a few weeks ago) we go to the drive in, but it's rare. They are up by 7:30 at the latest, and when the youngest is at preschool she naps for about an hour in the afternoon. Picking a bedtime is about the child's need, some need more, some less, but I've found that kids who nap sleep LONGER at night. Any time I manage to get one of them to take a nap I know they are gonna have a good sleep that night. :

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I love this topic. DH and I have always felt like mean ogre parents b/c we have a set bedtime for DD (5) for 7pm. She wakes up around 6:55 am. (we don't get her up) Which I think is important. If she wakes herself up, consistantly around the same time every morning, we belive that she has had the proper amount of sleep.

Our view on it is better sleep, smarter kids. I know when I have the correct amount of sleep, i am a smarter person. lol (most days) =)

Even on weekends we keep her bedtime consistant. *SOMETIMES< we let her stay up on a very special occasion* But we like to keep her sleep pattern the same. We belive that it's healthier.

Of course, I say all of this while working my own messed up work hours overnight, and going home to sleep 3 hours before going to a 9 am soccer game!! lol

 

[cheyennemama]

My daughter is headed to the 1st grade this fall. She goes to bed about 7:30pm. She wakes up at 7am and that's usually with a lot of coaxing. She's always maintained an early bedtime. Weekends are usually a tad later- 8:30pm maybe. And of course, I don't need to drag her out of bed.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

My little boy who is in grade 1 and will be 7yrs in October and is bathed at 7pm and then we do homework. He is usually in bed at 7:45 to 8pm. Me and my husdand were talking about this just tonight how others think this is way to earily. Our neighbour's kids are outside until 9pm and have just turned 1yr and 5yrs old. I believe (although I often question this decision) that my children are better off for it. They know the routine and bedtime is not a hassle at all. They awake earlier in the morning than other children but in the long run it leaves more time in the evening for the parents and makes mornings easier than having to rush children out of bed to get out of the house on time for school/work. This schedule stays the same on weekends most nights unless something special is going on. This works for us and we are not asked continuously to stay up later. As he enters grade 2, I will allow him the choice to stay up to 815 to 830pm if he chooses to read in bed to instill the love to read (I beleive this is the time to develop the passion for books)

In the end each parent know what is best for our individual children but when others question our parenting skills we question ourselves

I TOTTALLY AGREE!
You said it perfectly. We feel the same way. Sleep is SO important for growing kids. You hit the nail on the head.
When I posted I forgot to mention the good that comes for a marriage when kids are in bed at an earlier time. DH and I get our quality time for adult conversation and so on. We have told DD that with each new grade we will allow her an extra 15 min.

K-7p
1-7:15
2-7:30
3-7:45
4-8:00
5-8:15
6-8:30
7:8:45
8-9:00
9-9:15
10-9:30
11-9:45
12-10:00

Dh's parents did this with him, and he has much more "sleep discepline" than I do. And for that he is well rested and much more capable of handling stress throughout the day. We hope to give the same gift to our daughter.

 

[Ariel8676]

sorry double post...

 

[Ariel8676]

My girls are 5,4 (so 1 going in to 1st and the other K) They start getting ready for bed at 7pm and are in their beds by 7:30..on school nights. Sometimes i will let them watch a bit of tv before falling asleep(oohh bad mommy..lol)but they are usually out by 8pm.
Weekends i will allow them a bit later, but they both have activities that they do, so they still need the proper amount of rest.
There are so many people that gasp at the fact of sending their children to bed that early..my kids are well rested when they wake up and are in a good mood. I won't send them to bed that early in the summer...but i don't think a 5,4 yo should be going to bed any later than 9 (imo of course)..unless you are somewhere special like WDW or its a special occasion. My girls also get up and make their beds before leaving their room
Now my 18 month old..thats a different story..lol usually she is out by 10..lol but she can also take as many naps as needed the following day..

 

[3jsmommy]

My boys 6, & 4, tuck in at 8 but usually get a story read to them by DH or I & asleep by 8:30(ish). They wake up on their own usually by 7am. My 8 month old 7pm, but nurses a few times during the night still.
I think the 15 min. a year schedule posted earlier is good..until your children are in high school..then I could not imagine forcing them to go to bed at a very specific time, as they are almost (or technically already)adults! My brothers are teenagers & they would laugh at a 9pm set bedtime. They probably stay up until at least 10/11, & they do well in school & sports.