"Mom, look at 'dat boy, over 'dere..."

[pumpkinboy]

So you know how little kids get really curious when they see your disabled child? And a lot of their parents try to keep them from offending anyone?

I find myself talking to children (and their embarrassed parents) when they are curious about my son, who has pretty severe CP, non-verbal, spastic quad, fed by g-tube, but still a handsome redheaded boy. He is able to communicate somewhat using his eyes (up for yes, away for no). I will often go up to children who are clearly curious, and even if they don;t ask "what happened?", they clearly want to. And I explain that my boy Caleb had an "Owie to his brain when he was being born" and that he does everything that they do except walk and talk: that he likes music, and computer games and cartoons where people fall down (esp Donald Duck). That usually helps a lot and their parents are relieved that their children did not offend us.

Well I wanted to share an experience we had recently.

One afternoon, a little 4 yr old boy caught a glimpse of my handsome boy and said loudly to his Mom: "Momma, look at dat boy!"...
She tried to distract him and stop the pointing and calling attention, but he was not to be contained. "No, Momma, dat boy over dere" pointing at my boy.
Mom is mortified, and grabs his arm and starts to take him someplace quiet and out of the way. But he tries to wiggle out and look at my boy some more, and then he says at the top of his lungs:

"No, Mom. Dat boy over dere, Momma! Look!"
"He gots Mickey Mouse on his hat!"

Well how about that.

 

[irishsharon]

That story made my day If we could all see through a childs eyes

 

[melancholywings]

I love this story, and how you handle their curiosity is wonderful.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

That's really awesome.

A teacher of mine told a story about her daughter's ballet class, and how every week, when she picked her daughter up, she would hear a story about how the "black girl" was bad, and got punished, week after week after week.

When it finally came to recital time, the mother noticed there weren't any African American children in the class. She asked her daughter if the girl had been punished so often that she wasn't allowed to dance anymore.

"No, mom," the girl said, "she's right there."

She pointed to a little blonde girl in a black leotard.

 

[livndisney]

I have shared this story before but thought it applies here as well LOL

just yesterday at the store a woman was staring. She walked up and down the isle staring at my daughter. She was staring so much she ran into another cart. Momma bear got ready as she started to walk by again...... she was staring at the dress my daughter was wearing and wanted to know where I got it

 

[kirstenb1]

Thanks for sharing Pumpkinboy. That made my day.

 

[Bearshouse]

I love this story. It is great. My DS10 has moderate spastic CP, non-verbal, eye gaze up for yes and down for no too.

We were at the library the other day and this little boy about 3 kept staring at us and saying wheels. His mom was so embarrassed and kept trying to distract him. I finally asked if he liked all things with wheels, and she said yes. She was very sorry because he had never seen a wheel chair before.

So we put the brakes on DS's wheelchair and let the little boy check it out. They both had a great time and the little boy told his mom he wanted a wheelchair too.

Bearshouse

 

[jerlove]

Thanks for the stories everyone. They made my day.

 

[BC Disney Lover]

Thanks for posting this. I'm not usually on this board but the title caught my eye. I've thought about asking over here about exactly what to say to my children, especially my daughter who is very observant and curious

 

[C&G'sMama]

I LOVE this story.

I'm the one with the Aspie that asks all the questions. We just answer him honestly. If we got embarrassed every time he opened his mouth we would never go out.

 

[emh1129]

Aww... that's sweet
I also think it's wonderful how open you are to explain and educate other people!

 

[LockShockBarrel]

This is so nice to read, especially after all the threads (even on the other boards) with people getting so offended when they're being stared at. A nice reminder that there's still some innocense left in the world and not everyone is judging you.

 

[pumpkinboy]

I love this story. It is great. My DS10 has moderate spastic CP, non-verbal, eye gaze up for yes and down for no too.

We were at the library the other day and this little boy about 3 kept staring at us and saying wheels. His mom was so embarrassed and kept trying to distract him. I finally asked if he liked all things with wheels, and she said yes. She was very sorry because he had never seen a wheel chair before.

So we put the brakes on DS's wheelchair and let the little boy check it out. They both had a great time and the little boy told his mom he wanted a wheelchair too.

Bearshouse

Yeah, I find a lot of kids under 5 are mainly interested in the equipment; older kids (after developing empathy) want to know that he's OK, or if they might "catch it".

I have a regular talk with younger kids about the wheelchair: that the curved handlebars indicate that it is his "racing wheelchair", and that he likes to go fast in it. Little boys are intrigued by this, of course. I have in fact raced other people with kids in wheelchairs at Epcot in the big open area over towards Germany when there are not many people there. My racing secret is lifting up the front casters for lower resistance, and therefore faster speed (two wheels is faster than four, esp on the big wheels in back).
DW would prefer if I would just let it be, but the chance to educate is just too irresistable to me; plus, my boy Caleb loves to make new friends.

Love the stories about black leotard girl and the woman staring at the dress too.

 

[SueM in MN]

 

[livndisney]

Yeah, I find a lot of kids under 5 are mainly interested in the equipment; older kids (after developing empathy) want to know that he's OK, or if they might "catch it".

I have a regular talk with younger kids about the wheelchair: that the curved handlebars indicate that it is his "racing wheelchair", and that he likes to go fast in it. Little boys are intrigued by this, of course. I have in fact raced other people with kids in wheelchairs at Epcot in the big open area over towards Germany when there are not many people there. My racing secret is lifting up the front casters for lower resistance, and therefore faster speed (two wheels is faster than four, esp on the big wheels in back).
DW would prefer if I would just let it be, but the chance to educate is just too irresistable to me; plus, my boy Caleb loves to make new friends.

Love the stories about black leotard girl and the woman staring at the dress too.

I just realised it looks like we will be at the world at the same time-no staring at the dresses

 

[ratlenhum]

That's cute!

 

[jrbdad]

PB-

Thanks for sending me the link to this thread, made my day. "Hi!" to Caleb.

 

[kamik86]

My parents tell a story about me that is something like this. My mom took me to do Laundry at a coin-op place because our washer was broke. Well I was probably 3 or 4 and the first African-American I had ever seen (I live in an area with few minorities, espeically so 20 years ago... my schools growing up were always theones that didn't give you statistics on how any race did besides white because if they did you would know how the 1 or 2 children of any other race performed.)

Well he was a big guy and I kept stareing... And talking and basically wondering how he got such a dark tan. My mom was mortified and afraid he would be offended... guy turned out to be really nice and spent a while talking to me and explained that it wasn't a tan.

 

[MrsBlovesDisney]

Pumpkinboy........OMG what a great story!!! You have just made my day!!! God Bless and thanks for sharing!!!

 

[lunapnp]

Pumpkinboy....Thanks so much for sharing that story! It really made my day. I have learned over the years that most of the children are really just curious and don't really mean any disrespect by "staring." Kids are just inquisitive creatures...how else are they going to learn if they don't ask??? When my DD was young, most of the kids would ask why she was in a wheelchair, or why she used a walker, etc. Once I gave an answer, most of the kids would be like "oh, okay" and would be on about their business. In all honesty, it's the ADULTS who are usually rude and insensitive! If we could all be as accepting as most of these little ones.......