Mom against sweets in the classroom

[Jennasis]

Are you seriously saying it is your right to send treats for everyone in the class and the kids who aren't allowed to have them, for whatever reason, should just learn to get over it????

Maybe the adults need to figure out that their snowflake's birthday is not just cause for the world to stop revolving on it's axis. Their need to put on a production celebrating their child's birthday does not trump the feelings of his/her classmates. Why can't they just put a birthday cupcake in their kid's lunch and celebrate later at home like the rest of us? Do their children have such low self esteem that they have to be validated by the entire class.

BTW, this thread has completely proven the argument MeMe Roth was making. "Don't tell me what to feed my kid, and don't tell me what I can offer to yours." North American's are entirely too focused on food based rewards. Not every treat has to be something that is consumed.

Your entire argument is flawed as the same could be said for the "snowflake" parents who oppose birthday treats. Why should the whole class be deprived because one parent disapproves of cupcakes?

I am so glad I don't have kids.

 

[MineMail]

I just wish parents would get together and say "It's getting out of hand...let's agree on another way to celebrate." I remember when a nice birthday was when the nuns smiled at you that day.

One of my kids' teachers had a different approach. She celebrated birthdays once each month on the last schoolday of the month. Everyone with a birthday that month (along with one or two "vacation birthdate kids") was celebrated. The parents could send stuff if they wanted, but it was more important to recognize the birthdays with a Happy Birthday song and congrats. This was a private Catholic school, but there were a lot of students from other religions and no one made a big deal about it.

I didn't get on my MIL's case about the junk she fed my kids (altho, I didn't "get it" ) because she rarely saw them.

My MIL was a crack-candy dealer in a dress and orthopedic shoes, lol. Her goddaughter didn't allow candy for her children, so MIL went out of her way to buy these HUGE lollypops for each of the kids (1 and 3 yrs old) and royally pissed off the goddaughter. Thankfully, she only saw those kids a few times a year. The reality is that MIL was trying to buy their favor with sweets and it never worked. The kids were still rude and standoffish towards her.

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

Your entire argument is flawed as the same could be said for the "snowflake" parents who oppose birthday treats. Why should the whole class be deprived because one parent disapproves of cupcakes?

I am so glad I don't have kids.

That's what I was thinking. If the vast majority are doing something and they're supposed to stop because they don't want to hurt the feelings of a select few, who is the snowflake?

Anyway this thread is making me hungry.

 

[browneyes106]

She should worry less about treats & worry more about the lack of daily PE classes at so many schools. Just like anorexics & bulimics, she has a serious disorder! As a PP stated most of the kids are already obese, or well on the road to it by the time they start school! They need exercise, not lectures!!!

So true, so true. I agree with your post and the others who voiced that same opinion. A moderate diet is vital, but it's not the only thing to focus on in the obesity situation.

Having done playground duty at an all-girls PreK-8 school, I noticed that they STOP playing games around sixth grade and spend lunch/recess gabbing away while sitting on a bench. To try and stem it, we chalked up jumping games and brought jumpropes, which helped somewhat, but were still ignored by many of the older girls. I think daily PE would be a better use of time than gossiping; it would also cut down on the "Mean Girl" situations.

May I suggest to teachers/camp counselors that they NOT use a student's lunch as an example of what not to eat? It affects their food choices in a negative way. Long story, but the counselor felt the non-whole grain bread my kid ate on the fourth day was nutrionally "awful" and pointed it out to everyone as a learning experience. DD's lunches came back uneaten for the next four days (even the ones on whole wheat bread) because she was so embarrassed by this counselor's actions. Geez, I had leftovers one day from entertaining guests, cut me some slack. Guess what camp she's NOT going to attend this summer?

I agree with both of you. I mentioned children not getting enough exercise in one of my previous posts. I think when tackling childhood obesity fitness
also needs to be brought up. PE is lacking in many schools. I have friends and relatives who are doing their best to keep their children very active. My cousin's wife has 12 year old triplets from a previous marriage. She enrolled her son in a fall afterschool flag football program which he loved during the fall. Her two daughters play DDR almost daily after school. My coworker's husband plays basketball with their son a few times a week. I think parents should be encouraged to do similar with their children or put their children in activities which keep them active.

 

[luvmy3]

That's what I was thinking. If the vast majority are doing something and they're supposed to stop because they don't want to hurt the feelings of a select few, who is the snowflake?

Anyway this thread is making me hungry.

I sure hope thats supposed to be a veggie burger cupcake

 

[Becky2005]

She should worry less about treats & worry more about the lack of daily PE classes at so many schools.

I found that interesting since I thought it was an IL state law that you *had* to have gym class every year. I figured we were the last ones on that front but I see you are in Southern IL and this isn't the first time I'm hearing, not all IL schools seem to have PE every single day like ours do. As a matter of fact, for my High Schooler, your PE grade is part of your GPA. It affects your class rank, etc... You have to have it at least 3 1/2 years to graduate. The other 1/2 is Health class that is taken during gym period.

I know in grade school here, they have gym 2x week and they are required to run the mile at the end of the school year for the Presidential Physical Fitness stuff, so they work on that all year long building up to the mile. They somehow count recess during grade school as part of the physical fitness. Once they hit 6th grade, they have PE every single day with changing into gym uniforms.

We also had birthday treats when I was in school. Basically, a whole lot hasn't changed in how that stuff is done since I was in school. It certainly never took 1-2 hours way back over 20 years ago & doesn't now either.

 

[FayeW]

That's what I was thinking. If the vast majority are doing something and they're supposed to stop because they don't want to hurt the feelings of a select few, who is the snowflake?

Anyway this thread is making me hungry.

Because the "vast majority" are not all celebrating their birthdays on the same day. Each celebration is about that day's birthday child, not the entire class. So 15, 20, 25 times a year some kids are being made to feel uncomfortable in their classrooms so that PARENTS can validate their birthday child. This is such an entitlement mentality and it starts in the cradle. Little Johnny's Mom brought cupcakes, so I better bring cupcakes AND soda. So now Suzie's mother brings cupcakes, soda, and candy. Then Jack's mother sends cupcakes, soda, candy and stickers.

I think it's nothing more than "keeping up with the Joneses." Can't have my kid being the only one who didn't bring treats, so I better make sure mine is better than the others.

It is truly bizarre for me, because that just isn't how it's done here, or at least not in the schools my kids attend(ed).

 

[FayeW]

Your entire argument is flawed as the same could be said for the "snowflake" parents who oppose birthday treats. Why should the whole class be deprived because one parent disapproves of cupcakes?

I am so glad I don't have kids.

Although you are childless, I am sure that you can understand the difference between a child not being able to participate in something the rest of the class is doing, and the opportunity to participate not having been presented to any of them at all. Those children will not be deprived. They can be invited to a celebration for the birthday child at another time, away from school, and the other children who may not be able to participate.

 

[dhcoffey]

I am one of those mothers who does bring cupcakes to school on their children's birthdays. My youngest just finished 5th grade, so we're done with it. They both enjoyed it and so did their classmates. I always checked with their teachers a week before to make sure it was okay and always received the go ahead. I have also never had an allergic child in one of my kids' classes, so I didn't have to worry about that.

It wasn't during class time but during lunch time. My husband or I one would be there at the school at lunch and wait until they had all finished their lunch and then would hand them out to the kids. We have actually had a couple of kids say no, thanks, we'd rather have an ice cream (that the school sells), so it is possible for them to say no and nothing be thought about it. There's no party, no singing, just handing out a cupcake after they finish their lunch and before lunch is over, five minutes tops.

Heather

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

Because the "vast majority" are not all celebrating their birthdays on the same day. Each celebration is about that day's birthday child, not the entire class. So 15, 20, 25 times a year some kids are being made to feel uncomfortable in their classrooms so that PARENTS can validate their birthday child. This is such an entitlement mentality and it starts in the cradle. Little Johnny's Mom brought cupcakes, so I better bring cupcakes AND soda. So now Suzie's mother brings cupcakes, soda, and candy. Then Jack's mother sends cupcakes, soda, candy and stickers.

I think it's nothing more than "keeping up with the Joneses." Can't have my kid being the only one who didn't bring treats, so I better make sure mine is better than the others.

It is truly bizarre for me, because that just isn't how it's done here, or at least not in the schools my kids attend(ed).

What a coincidence. That's not how it's done here either. At least not in the schools my kid goes to.

 

[fussymonkey]

IMO, it's wrong that other parents would choose to make another child feel like that. Other kids would pick on them, treat them differently, etc. And we haven't even gotten into children on gluten-free diets, kids who are allergic to eggs, etc. The best thing is for parents to truly parent their own kids and decide what their kids will have. Not others.

Parties in school, as well as celebrating birthdays by bringing in a treat, have been a tradtional part of elementry school for generations. There are lots of minorities clamoring to have something *they* find offensive banned from schools: the pledge of allegience, holiday parties even when called "winter holdiay party" or "harvest party", sweets, etc. As a parent I might decide there are many things that are social norms that I don't want my child to participate in, but withdrawing the child from those activities is my responsibility.

I agree that the schools should make some reasonable compromises, like calling winter holdiay party a winter holiday party and therefore not exclude children of all faiths and nationalities, but when the demands are not about broading activities to be inclusive, but rather about eliminating tradtions all together, a line is crossed.

You can never expect social norms to change just becuase you don't wish to conform to them.

 

[luvmy3]

Because the "vast majority" are not all celebrating their birthdays on the same day. Each celebration is about that day's birthday child, not the entire class. So 15, 20, 25 times a year some kids are being made to feel uncomfortable in their classrooms so that PARENTS can validate their birthday child. This is such an entitlement mentality and it starts in the cradle. Little Johnny's Mom brought cupcakes, so I better bring cupcakes AND soda. So now Suzie's mother brings cupcakes, soda, and candy. Then Jack's mother sends cupcakes, soda, candy and stickers.

I think it's nothing more than "keeping up with the Joneses." Can't have my kid being the only one who didn't bring treats, so I better make sure mine is better than the others.

It is truly bizarre for me, because that just isn't how it's done here, or at least not in the schools my kids attend(ed).

You are also making alot of assumptions how treat giving escalates to full blown junk food mania in schools. Most teachers allow 1 treat to be brought in and most parents follow that rule at least thats how its been in my childrens classes.

 

[PaulaSue]

OP, She sounds like the nut who made our old school and now new school to outlaw anything with sugar for the kids in school. Really stupid thing is that they still sell all that candy crap for the fundraisers.

For Goodness sake let them being in cake for their b-days. You are only a kid once.

 

[mjkacmom]

Because the "vast majority" are not all celebrating their birthdays on the same day. Each celebration is about that day's birthday child, not the entire class. So 15, 20, 25 times a year some kids are being made to feel uncomfortable in their classrooms so that PARENTS can validate their birthday child. This is such an entitlement mentality and it starts in the cradle. Little Johnny's Mom brought cupcakes, so I better bring cupcakes AND soda. So now Suzie's mother brings cupcakes, soda, and candy. Then Jack's mother sends cupcakes, soda, candy and stickers.

I think it's nothing more than "keeping up with the Joneses." Can't have my kid being the only one who didn't bring treats, so I better make sure mine is better than the others.

It is truly bizarre for me, because that just isn't how it's done here, or at least not in the schools my kids attend(ed).

Since treats aren't done where you are, let me clarify: parents send in munchkins, cupcakes, brownies, cookies - nothing fancy. No goodie bags, no drinks allowed. No one tries to out-do each other - it's a PITA, but the kids love it. I have good friends with food restrictions - peanut allergy, crones disease - and they don't have problems with it - they're used to it. The bring their own food EVERYWHERE. Since treats aren't done in your kids' school, I don't know where you get the "keeping up with the Joneses."

 

[mjkacmom]

Thank you. Can you imagine being the only one in the class left out? IMO, it's wrong that other parents would choose to make another child feel like that. Other kids would pick on them, treat them differently, etc. And we haven't even gotten into children on gluten-free diets, kids who are allergic to eggs, etc. The best thing is for parents to truly parent their own kids and decide what their kids will have. Not others.

Again, I don't have to worry about this, and the whole sugar thing with our son has just become noticeable in the past few months, but I, for one, am glad I don't have to fight that battle.

Oh yes, our school has a big problem with the kids picking on the kids with allergies - they actually throw the treats at them! They are forced to sit in the corner with their parent-provided peanut free cupcake while the other children tease them. My nephew is allergice to wheat, eggs, and peanuts, and has no issue bringing his own. Now, if only the kids would stop taunting him...

 

[JVL1018]

Since treats aren't done where you are, let me clarify: parents send in munchkins, cupcakes, brownies, cookies - nothing fancy. No goodie bags, no drinks allowed. No one tries to out-do each other - it's a PITA, but the kids love it. I have good friends with food restrictions - peanut allergy, crones disease - and they don't have problems with it - they're used to it. The bring their own food EVERYWHERE. Since treats aren't done in your kids' school, I don't know where you get the "keeping up with the Joneses."

Same here-no goody bags are allowed, the kids bring in whatever treat(same ones that you listed) and sometimes juice boxes, sometimes not.
They do sing to the birthday kid, but it is done at snack time or at lunch(the kid chooses), so no teaching time is compromised.
The birthday boy or girl then brings the leftover treats up to the office(he or she gets to pick one or two friends to walk with him) to offer the prinicipal and the secretary a cupcake/munchkin/whatever. The principal says happy birthday and gives the kid a little gift(pencil) and the kid goes back to his classroom.
That's it.
My kids have junk each and every day, I admit it-I can't be the only one who packs a couple of cookies for dessert in their lunchbox, can I??
They love fruits and veg too, so they get plenty of that, daily, as well-today my son's lunchbox had grape tomatoes as snack, ham and cheese on light wheat for lunch with animal crackers for dessert.
My daughter had the same except I put in a banana for snack instead of tomatoes.

ETA: I have been a class parent for the last 4 years and I've been to plenty of class parties and there is always a kid or two who turns down the cupcake/brownie/whatever. My son is often the kid who turns it down because he only likes vanilla cake, not chocolate. No one cares, no one says a word to the kid, the kid isn't made to feel different or bad-it's a nonissue. Just says no thank you and that's the end of it.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Birthday celebrations have been going on in schools since I was a kid 30 years ago, and probably well before that. I would say at this point, they are very much part of the elementary school experience. I'm sure in those decades of parties there have been a few who have felt left out, but I'm guessing its not as bad as some may want to believe or else parties and celebrations would have been banned for that very reason a long long time ago. I guess if one doesn't like the tradition of school celebrations or expects the traditions to be changed for them and their children they should be thinking about homeschool or finding a school that has rules against parties and celebrations . Of course we can't really expect that all parents do that, so we can let those kids who want/can have their cupcake to do so and those who won't/can't have something else. Its pretty simple and seems it has worked for decades.

Yep.. if if not broke don't fix it. I am tired of parents with these holier than thou attitudes who decide something is "evil".

I need to go bake cupcakes to send in to school tomorrow for my daughters summer birthday.

 

[creativeamanda]

Oh yes, our school has a big problem with the kids picking on the kids with allergies - they actually throw the treats at them! They are forced to sit in the corner with their parent-provided peanut free cupcake while the other children tease them. My nephew is allergice to wheat, eggs, and peanuts, and has no issue bringing his own. Now, if only the kids would stop taunting him...

When you have a child with a latex allergy and another kid rubs a rubber band against her arm "for kicks", then tell me that things like that don't happen. As you are rushing 15 miles to the school on the phone with the school nurse, then tell me that allergies are a joke.

As far as people from other religions not being able to celebrate--our community has a large amount of Jehovah's Witnesses. While I disagree with their religion, I have had students cry to me because they had to leave birthday parties and just wanted to be "one of the crowd". I have had kids cry because their parents couldn't afford to bring cupcakes to school and others picked on them because "their parents did not care." It's not a simple fact that parents don't care, but that parents chose to have a small celebration at home. We are teaching our children that they are entitled to more and more. When does it all stop?

Finally, if it only takes 10 minutes 30 times a year to pass out cupcakes and eat them, then that is 300 lost minutes of instructional time. Given a 20 minute lesson (common for the 1st grade), then those are 15 lessons that the kids have lost due to something that could be done at home.


I'm finished with this thread. Yet again, I have the right to raise my kids how I see fit. If people in particular have a problem with it, then it's their problem, not mine.

 

[mumom95]

Parties in school, as well as celebrating birthdays by bringing in a treat, have been a tradtional part of elementry school for generations. There are lots of minorities clamoring to have something *they* find offensive banned from schools: the pledge of allegience, holiday parties even when called "winter holdiay party" or "harvest party", sweets, etc. As a parent I might decide there are many things that are social norms that I don't want my child to participate in, but withdrawing the child from those activities is my responsibility.

I agree that the schools should make some reasonable compromises, like calling winter holdiay party a winter holiday party and therefore not exclude children of all faiths and nationalities, but when the demands are not about broading activities to be inclusive, but rather about eliminating tradtions all together, a line is crossed.

You can never expect social norms to change just becuase you don't wish to conform to them.

 

[JVL1018]

When you have a child with a latex allergy and another kid rubs a rubber band against her arm "for kicks", then tell me that things like that don't happen. As you are rushing 15 miles to the school on the phone with the school nurse, then tell me that allergies are a joke.

As far as people from other religions not being able to celebrate--our community has a large amount of Jehovah's Witnesses. While I disagree with their religion, I have had students cry to me because they had to leave birthday parties and just wanted to be "one of the crowd". I have had kids cry because their parents couldn't afford to bring cupcakes to school and others picked on them because "their parents did not care." It's not a simple fact that parents don't care, but that parents chose to have a small celebration at home. We are teaching our children that they are entitled to more and more. When does it all stop?

Finally, if it only takes 10 minutes 30 times a year to pass out cupcakes and eat them, then that is 300 lost minutes of instructional time. Given a 20 minute lesson (common for the 1st grade), then those are 15 lessons that the kids have lost due to something that could be done at home.


I'm finished with this thread. Yet again, I have the right to raise my kids how I see fit. If people in particular have a problem with it, then it's their problem, not mine.

I don't know about anywhere else, but here they do it during a time they wouldn;t be teaching anyway. they have 10-15 minute snack time every day and an hour for lunch/recess. Birthdays are always done during one of those two times.