Mom against sweets in the classroom

[mumom95]

Yet again, I have the right to raise my kids how I see fit. If people in particular have a problem with it, then it's their problem, not mine.

Problem is, you don't seem think the other parents have a right to raise their kids how they see fit. No one has said that the parents who don't want their child to have sugar should be forced to allow their child to eat it. But the parents who don't think it is right to have celebration treats at school sure feel they have the right to say what the other parents can and cannot do.

 

[FayeW]

Problem is, you don't seem think the other parents have a right to raise their kids how they see fit. No one has said that the parents who don't want their child to have sugar should be forced to allow their child to eat it. But the parents who don't think it is right to have celebration treats at school sure feel they have the right to say what the other parents can and cannot do.

No one has any issue with what you feed your own kid. The issue on this thread is parents believing it is their right to provide food for other children. By all means, send YOUR child a birthday treat. No one is suggesting you are restricted from doing that.

 

[sbell111]

Because the "vast majority" are not all celebrating their birthdays on the same day. Each celebration is about that day's birthday child, not the entire class. So 15, 20, 25 times a year some kids are being made to feel uncomfortable in their classrooms so that PARENTS can validate their birthday child. This is such an entitlement mentality and it starts in the cradle. Little Johnny's Mom brought cupcakes, so I better bring cupcakes AND soda. So now Suzie's mother brings cupcakes, soda, and candy. Then Jack's mother sends cupcakes, soda, candy and stickers.

I think it's nothing more than "keeping up with the Joneses." Can't have my kid being the only one who didn't bring treats, so I better make sure mine is better than the others.

It is truly bizarre for me, because that just isn't how it's done here, or at least not in the schools my kids attend(ed).

I don't believe that this competition really exists.

From a kids point of view, I think that he is simply happy to be getting a cupcake. That cupcake doesn't make him feel bad for only bringing cookies on his bday.

From a parents point of view, I imagine that it's more likely that they are stressed that they have to fit making cupcakes into their already busy schedule. Thay are unlikely to be worried about how they will outdo the previous parent.

 

[sbell111]

No one has any issue with what you feed your own kid. The issue on this thread is parents believing it is their right to provide food for other children. By all means, send YOUR child a birthday treat. No one is suggesting you are restricted from doing that.

When I was a kid, the teachers always asked if we had brought enough for everyone.

Further, I think bringing treats for everyone in the class tends to help the child socially and teach him that there is a benefit to sharing with others.

 

[MineMail]

My youngest daughter had a classmate who brought in canollis for his birthday. She had never had them before and absolutely LOVED the tiny tubes. The boy's family owned a bakery, so he can be forgiven for upstaging my lopsided applesauce cupcakes, lol.

When I attended a classroom poetry reading recently, the teacher provided cupcakes and lemonade as refreshments. The kids were told they could eat the ones the parents didn't consume. I can't tell you how greedy some of these kids were, bringing around the tray and telling us to leave them so they could have them, putting their fingers on two "by accident" so they had to eat both, begging parents for any that were taken but not eaten. As I gave mine to one of the kids, I said "you'd think you never had a cupcake,lol." The kid told me, deadpan, that she ate a free lunch everyday and never had anything for snack time later on. It explained why my DD said this girl mooched snacks every day.

 

[mumom95]

No one has any issue with what you feed your own kid. The issue on this thread is parents believing it is their right to provide food for other children. By all means, send YOUR child a birthday treat. No one is suggesting you are restricted from doing that.

In all my years in education, I never once saw a child force feed a birthday cupcake to another child. They bring something in to share, and the kids that want it say yes, the kids that don't say no.

If a parent doesn't want their child to eat the sweets, they teach their child to say no. It's that simple. This way the parents who do want their child to partake in birthday celebrations get what they want and the parents that don't want their kids to eat sugar get what they want. It's not a hard concept.

It's no different from school lunches. Some parents allow their kids to buy the school lunches, some parents don't. You have the right to do what you want, but you shouldn't say just because I don't want my kid eating school lunches, they shouldn't be offered to the other kids.

 

[Becky2005]

From a kids point of view, I think that he is simply happy to be getting a cupcake. That cupcake doesn't make him feel bad for only bringing cookies on his bday.

Yep...my 9 year old has asked to bring in Chips Ahoy cookies every year. It started in 1st grade when there was a peanut allergy in that class, he wanted chocolate chip cookies to bring in. We looked at the label and no warnings anywhere about peanuts/being made in a peanut factory & looking at the ingredients didn't see any peanut stuff. Every year since then he always asks to bring in those cookies, even though he doesn't have anyone with a peanut allergy in his classroom.

I have NEVER seen the one upmanship for birthday treats that has been talked about in this thread.

Maybe this is one of those geographic differences again. The birthday treats have been going on forever in our area, so it's not as if it's a new thing that just sprung up overnight. It's a tradition and so far, nobody around here has any problem with that tradition. If it isn't something you grew up with or just someone started and it isn't the norm, maybe that's where all the it turns into a full blown birthday party at school comes from.

Then again, our school does lots of things that aren't educational beyond birthday treats but is fun for the end of the year for the kids, etc... Hopefully my kids will be out of school before all those things are banned too.

 

[PaulaSue]

And let me further say that I think the amount of cupcake parties and such in schools today have come to a ridiculous level. Educators are in school to educate, not to throw a birthday party in class, thereby taking away already limited instructional time. If parents want to have cupcakes in class, they should throw the parites at home and invite the other kids over.

How is having a cupcake in cake to celebrate a b-day a party? Takes 10-15 minutes and makes the kid feel special. Everyone gets a little break and makes the whole day special for the class.

BTW, who has room/money, especially now a days to invite the whole class to a party for every kid in class to do so. Then you have the whole time to fill party thing and then the guests feel like the need to give gifts, etc....

 

[luvmy3]

I don't believe that this competition really exists.

From a kids point of view, I think that he is simply happy to be getting a cupcake. That cupcake doesn't make him feel bad for only bringing cookies on his bday.

From a parents point of view, I imagine that it's more likely that they are stressed that they have to fit making cupcakes into their already busy schedule. Thay are unlikely to be worried about how they will outdo the previous parent.

One year I made cute heart shaped rice krispie treat lollipops for dd to bring in to share for her birthday. Yeah never again, I don't care if every other parent is the Ace of Cakes, my kids are bringing in Stop N Shop cupcakes

 

[PaulaSue]

Thank you. Can you imagine being the only one in the class left out? IMO, it's wrong that other parents would choose to make another child feel like that. Other kids would pick on them, treat them differently, etc. And we haven't even gotten into children on gluten-free diets, kids who are allergic to eggs, etc. The best thing is for parents to truly parent their own kids and decide what their kids will have. Not others.

Again, I don't have to worry about this, and the whole sugar thing with our son has just become noticeable in the past few months, but I, for one, am glad I don't have to fight that battle.

At our old school (before the ban) kids with food allergies had a stash of approved food in their cubbie that they would eat during cupcake time if it wasn't allergy safe for them.

 

[FayeW]

In all my years in education, I never once saw a child force feed a birthday cupcake to another child. They bring something in to share, and the kids that want it say yes, the kids that don't say no.

If a parent doesn't want their child to eat the sweets, they teach their child to say no. It's that simple. This way the parents who do want their child to partake in birthday celebrations get what they want and the parents that don't want their kids to eat sugar get what they want. It's not a hard concept.

It's no different from school lunches. Some parents allow their kids to buy the school lunches, some parents don't. You have the right to do what you want, but you shouldn't say just because I don't want my kid eating school lunches, they shouldn't be offered to the other kids.

That is different, and you know it. A child should not have to self moderate in their own classroom to appease a classmate's parents' need to celebrate their child's birthday publicly. They should not be put in the position of having to learn to say no. You want to celebrate your kid's birthday, have a party on your own time.

 

[mjkacmom]

When you have a child with a latex allergy and another kid rubs a rubber band against her arm "for kicks", then tell me that things like that don't happen. As you are rushing 15 miles to the school on the phone with the school nurse, then tell me that allergies are a joke.

As far as people from other religions not being able to celebrate--our community has a large amount of Jehovah's Witnesses. While I disagree with their religion, I have had students cry to me because they had to leave birthday parties and just wanted to be "one of the crowd". I have had kids cry because their parents couldn't afford to bring cupcakes to school and others picked on them because "their parents did not care." It's not a simple fact that parents don't care, but that parents chose to have a small celebration at home. We are teaching our children that they are entitled to more and more. When does it all stop?

Finally, if it only takes 10 minutes 30 times a year to pass out cupcakes and eat them, then that is 300 lost minutes of instructional time. Given a 20 minute lesson (common for the 1st grade), then those are 15 lessons that the kids have lost due to something that could be done at home.


I'm finished with this thread. Yet again, I have the right to raise my kids how I see fit. If people in particular have a problem with it, then it's their problem, not mine.

I never said allergies are a joke, I think the fact that you implied that kids eating a different snack because of an allergy are picked on - I've never heard of that happening. My sister can't even have eggs in the house, because that is how severe my nephew's allergies are. Treats are given out during non-instruction time, so none is lost. I think most people can come up with the $2 to make cupcakes - if not, not bringing in a treat is the least of their problem.

 

[luvmy3]

That is different, and you know it. A child should not have to self moderate in their own classroom to appease a classmate's parents' need to celebrate their child's birthday publicly. They should not be put in the position of having to learn to say no. You want to celebrate your kid's birthday, have a party on your own time.

I would never raise a child to learn that they should never have to say no to something.

 

[Jeafl]

Because the "vast majority" are not all celebrating their birthdays on the same day. Each celebration is about that day's birthday child, not the entire class. So 15, 20, 25 times a year some kids are being made to feel uncomfortable in their classrooms so that PARENTS can validate their birthday child. This is such an entitlement mentality and it starts in the cradle. Little Johnny's Mom brought cupcakes, so I better bring cupcakes AND soda. So now Suzie's mother brings cupcakes, soda, and candy. Then Jack's mother sends cupcakes, soda, candy and stickers.

I think it's nothing more than "keeping up with the Joneses." Can't have my kid being the only one who didn't bring treats, so I better make sure mine is better than the others.

It is truly bizarre for me, because that just isn't how it's done here, or at least not in the schools my kids attend(ed).

In our first grade classroom this year we had 24 students. Out of those 24, I would say maybe 13 or 14 brought in birthday treats, and I think out of those kids only 3 or 4 brought in cupcakes. The majority brought in fruit snacks, pencils, pretzels, animal crackers, etc.

Only once did a parent ever bring in more than one treat. One mom brought in mini donuts and chocolate chip cookies. We let them eat the donuts, but sent the cookies home in a ziploc bag. I think the assumption that kids eat 30 cupcakes during school a year is pretty much an exaggeration.

We also had kids who didn't like the treat that was brought in and just said no thank you. Not one of them ever had their feelings hurt or felt bad. Maybe we were just lucky to have such level headed, well adjusted kids in class.

Also, in my classroom I found that the kids were so busy with their own treat, they never noticed who didn't have one. I have NEVER witnessed any child making fun or taunting another one because of ANY kind of allergies. In fact, I had 2 kids with epilepsy (one of whom had a seizure in class!) and another student who had a bad case of lice. The kids didn't make fun of them either. They asked a lot of questions, but it was strictly curiosity on their part, not meanness.

It's always interesting to hear what parents think really goes on in a classroom.

 

[C.Ann]

School is for education, not for parties..

-----------------------
That may be your take on it, but many teachers actually enjoy having these celebrations with their classrooms during snack or recess time.. My DGD (10)has always been blessed to have teachers who not only enjoy teaching tremendously - but are also able to make school a "fun" environment for them - without anyone's grades suffering because of it..

If you (general you) limit your child's intake of sugar and treats it is your job to teach them that when faced with those things they are to say no thank you. The school shouldn't restrict something just because a few kids aren't going to follow their parent's rules.

-----------------
Or get a list from the teacher as to when these events are going to occur and send a healthy alternative for your child..

Thank you. Can you imagine being the only one in the class left out?.

-------------------
There is no need to be "left out".. See my comment above..

If you don't want your child to have a treat, tell the teacher in advance, she'll let you know when a birthday is approaching, and you can send in a healthy snack, like the kids with allergies.

-------------------
Problem solved..

 

[sbell111]

... They should not be put in the position of having to learn to say no. ...

I'm sorry, but that little bit caused me to blow a breaker. Luckily, I got it flipped back on before my entire body shut down.

That being said, how is learning to say 'no' a bad thing?

"Hey kid, take this pill."
"No."

"Hey kid, can you help me find my puppy?"
"No."

"Hey kid, get in the car'"
"No."

"Hey kid, do you want to hold my dad's cool gun."
"No."

"Hey kid, eat this thing that your parents don't want you to have."
"No."

'No' should be on the top of the list of things to teach your school aged children, no?

 

[Doe]

I'm sorry, but that little bit caused me to blow a breaker. Luckily, I got it flipped back on before my entire body shut down.

That being said, how is learning to say 'no' a bad thing?

"Hey kid, take this pill."
"No."

"Hey kid, can you help me find my puppy?"
"No."

"Hey kid, get in the car'"
"No."

"Hey kid, do you want to hold my dad's cool gun."
"No."

"Hey kid, eat this thing that your parents don't want you to have."
"No."

'No' should be on the top of the list of things to teach your school aged children, no?

 

[turkeymama]

And so, you don't think it's wrong for parents who bring junk food to school to "bring their lifestyle" on other kids? Because that's what they are doing. School is for education, not for parties. Yet again, I believe parties and treats should lay outside the realm of public education and invite people via cards. That way, each parent can make the informed choice as to whether or not they want their child to be loaded with sugar.

My son's behavior is horrible when he has sugar. I therefore limit it. He's 8. He's not going to tell a teacher handing out cupcakes, "No thank you, my mom doesn't want me to have that." It's my place as a parent to parent--not the schools'. That we are all agreeing with. So why don't we take the parties and treats out of schools and put it back where it should be? If you want to have a celebration for something, have it at home. That way, no one objects to the sugar or the celebrations' meaning, etc.

Bolding is mine.
This is weak at best. My daughter is 8 and has a dairy allergy. She has enough discipline to tell the teacher, "No thanks, I can't have that." As a fail-safe, the teacher has been informed by me - the parent - to not give my daughter any snacks that I haven't approved.

 

[Jeafl]

I'm sorry, but that little bit caused me to blow a breaker. Luckily, I got it flipped back on before my entire body shut down.

That being said, how is learning to say 'no' a bad thing?

"Hey kid, take this pill."
"No."

"Hey kid, can you help me find my puppy?"
"No."

"Hey kid, get in the car'"
"No."

"Hey kid, do you want to hold my dad's cool gun."
"No."

"Hey kid, eat this thing that your parents don't want you to have."
"No."

'No' should be on the top of the list of things to teach your school aged children, no?

EXCELLENT point!

 

[turkeymama]

At our old school (before the ban) kids with food allergies had a stash of approved food in their cubbie that they would eat during cupcake time if it wasn't allergy safe for them.

We have just such a box of "approved, safe snacks" for my daughter every year (dairy allergy). Works perfectly.