Mom against sweets in the classroom

[sms]

In my DS school, the only rule they have is if you bring in cookies, cupcakes, etc., they have to be store bought. Nothing homemade.

They are allowed birthday parties. If they get "treat bags" they have to wait to open at home.

I don't see anything wrong with having a treat every now and then. They get a healthy snack everyday. They just had an end of school party where each class did a little song and dance and afterwards the kids were able to buy candied apples, cotton candy, drinks and popcorn. It was a fun day!!1

 

[DawnCt1]

Pssst...meet me behind the gym at 3 o'clock for a cupcake party. Pass it on.

I'll bring the brownies.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

Pop-tarts are a gateway drug. Pretty soon the kids will be in the corner doing lines of fondant.

This is the most under-appreciated post in this thread.

Ok, why can't you just send in a small toy or puzzle or party favor type thing for each child when you want to celebrate a birthday? Those will last a lot longer than a cupcake anyway.

But I thought we were supposed to have a cookie-cutter approach to school. If your child needs something special, it's your responsibility to handle that individually for your child.

I'll bring the brownies.

?

 

[disykat]

When I was growing up, we had treats at parties only. No one brought birthday treats past Kindergarten. We lived through it.

I would much rather have it that way than the way my kid's schools were. Rarely did a day go by when a classmate didn't hand out treats or one of their teachers gave them candy.

It irritated me because EVERY time I made a treat at home, I'd find out they'd already had cupcakes, brownies, candy, etc. at school that day as well.

My kids eventually stopped eating the candy the teachers were handing out on their own - when they started getting cavaties at the dentist!

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I actually heard about this woman yesterday and I read an interview with her and she was interviewed at 2:00 PM and admitted to the interviewer that she had not eaten anything yet that day. So, while I agree somewhat with her message about junk food, she definitely takes it to the other extreme and admitted to skipping breakfast and lunch most days. That is just as unhealthy IMO.

It's too bad that the person trying to make a valid point is such an extremist because I think the truth in her message will get lost because of it.

 

[luvmy3]

If I understand correctly, parents are already sending their own child with a snack for snack time. The problem is that other parents are sending in treats for the entire class to have at snack time. So then a small child has to make the choice to either A) refuse a treat that everyone else is being given, and eat just the snack they brought, B) accept the treat that everyone else is having, and not eat the snack they brought, or C) eat both the treat and the snack they brought from home.

Putting temptation in the way of a child who may not have the maturity or will power to refuse, and may cause them to feel left out of the celebration, is not fair.
I don't really get why people seem to equate "being a kid and having fun" and "celebrating" with sugary treats. If having the kids sing him happy birthday and celebrating at home with his family and/or at his party isn't enough, let the kid hand out stickers or something. Why does it always have to be about food???

Whats not fair is NOT teaching your own child that they may have their own rules to follow and they may be different from everyone elses. Then say well my child won't be able to resist the temptation so your child shouldn't be allowed to do something, because of my child.
My kids know what they are allowed to eat at school, like ice cream only on Fridays or only white milk and I have heard the argument "but everybody else gets to have it everyday" . And you know what I say? Well thats them and you are you and YOU are not allowed to. They are able to resist that temptation, we just need to trust them enough to do.

 

[SereneOne]

Oh goodness! My child is tube fed Pedisure. I guess to "be fair" there can be no solid food at school and everyone must drink pedisure.

Meg starts K5 this year and last year she was in K4 and brought mini cupcakes for her classmates. The teacher just said she needed the ingredients list to make sure the children with allergies did not get anything they were not suppose to have. I would send a goodie bag (bubbles, mini crayons and c book, a bouncy ball,,,whatever) in place of cupcakes if they allow it.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Well, I think she is over the top. Now I do control the amount of sweets my kids have. I also was not crazy about the amounts of junk they would get at the school parties...it was over the top. But the key would be moderation....

Now my kids schools are not allowed anything!! And I think that is wrong and over the top. I saw nothing wrong with munchkins or cupcakes for birthdays. And having some sweets at parties was ok too...they went from all to nothing and I think that is wrong.

I also happen to be one of those moms that put 1 small piece of candy in goody bags! But the goody bags of full of fun items that don't break after 2 seconds!!

 

[mjkacmom]

And if it didn't happen at all, no one would have to deal with the kids who have allergies, the kids with diabetes, the kids who can't have cupcakes, the kids whose religions prohibit celebrations and therefore have to be removed for a portion of the day, thereby singling them out. Why are we singling kids out? Why aren't we just letting teachers teach? If I want my kids to go to a party, then I will take them to one myself. When I was in school, if cupcakes were brought in, that meant no instruction for the last 1-2 hours a day. Before the no treat ban on my kids' school, it was the same issue.

There are usually only a couple of kids who have to bring in their own treats - the ones I know have no issue with it. Never met anyone who had to leave the classroom for religious reasons. It takes 5 - 10 minutes to hand out and eat cupcakes - I don't know what you guys were doing for 1 - 2 hours! It's not a party - it's snack time.

 

[browneyes106]

I've gotten some laughs in this thread. I can undeerstand this women's concerns about children's eating habits but after reading the above post by gabes_mommy. It does seems this women is a bit extremist and if she skipped breakfast and lunch it does make me wonder what kind of eating habits she has.

I agree people need to learn moderation. I grew up in a small town. During elementary school there were about 40-50 kids in each grade. Each grade was divided into two classes of 20-25 in each class. I remember growing up usually from kindergarten to the third grade there were only 3-5 times we would eat cupcakes or cake to celebrate someone birthday. Usually the only kids who celebrated their birthdays at school were kids whose moms didn't work outside the home or who had night jobs. What would happen the mom would make a cake or cupcakes at home and then bring in the food towards the end of the day. By the time I was in fourth grade kids pretty much didn't care to celebrate their birthdays at school. We also had Halloween and Valentine parties. I think at most we only ate sweets about 5-10 times a year at school.

Also the women should focus on the fact that there are some children don't exercise enough. The women needs to tackle the subject of obesity from other angles. Children must learn to eat in moderation but they should also learn the importance of exercise.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Also the women should focus on the fact that there are some children don't exercise enough. The women needs to tackle the subject of obesity from other angles. Children must learn to eat in moderation but they should also learn the importance of exercise.

I agree with you here!! I had a concern about my kids, since I am overweight and my family members were. Well..guess what...my kids aren't! I watch what I feed them! When I cut out high fructose corn syrup and trans fats, they quickly learned that oreos and enteman's were no longer in the house.

Outside, yes they do have things...they will have soda.. I let them eat fast food. I make sure I have plenty of fruit, which they love, in the house. They are allowed snacks, and I buy plenty of organic chips and other items. But they know that everything, even fruit is eaten in moderation!! They are really good about it!

I educate my children, they understand I am doing it because I don't want them to have the issues I had. But I am not going to say you can't have that birthday cake at a freinds party because it has trans fats!! Once in a while it won't kill them!!

But just because I feel this way doesn't mean I am going to force the entire world to do what I want!! That's just insane!! I would love to never have to see HFCS or partially hydrogonated on another food label.. and I do my part by not buying those items and buying others. My DS was very happy when I started buying English Muffins again!! I just hope that more companies will follow suit!! Let's get real...oreos were made without that stuff way back when .

 

[FayeW]

Whats not fair is NOT teaching your own child that they may have their own rules to follow and they may be different from everyone elses. Then say well my child won't be able to resist the temptation so your child shouldn't be allowed to do something, because of my child.
My kids know what they are allowed to eat at school, like ice cream only on Fridays or only white milk and I have heard the argument "but everybody else gets to have it everyday" . And you know what I say? Well thats them and you are you and YOU are not allowed to. They are able to resist that temptation, we just need to trust them enough to do.

Are you seriously saying it is your right to send treats for everyone in the class and the kids who aren't allowed to have them, for whatever reason, should just learn to get over it????

Maybe the adults need to figure out that their snowflake's birthday is not just cause for the world to stop revolving on it's axis. Their need to put on a production celebrating their child's birthday does not trump the feelings of his/her classmates. Why can't they just put a birthday cupcake in their kid's lunch and celebrate later at home like the rest of us? Do their children have such low self esteem that they have to be validated by the entire class.

BTW, this thread has completely proven the argument MeMe Roth was making. "Don't tell me what to feed my kid, and don't tell me what I can offer to yours." North American's are entirely too focused on food based rewards. Not every treat has to be something that is consumed.

 

[61292cna]

She should worry less about treats & worry more about the lack of daily PE classes at so many schools. Just like anorexics & bulimics, she has a serious disorder! As a PP stated most of the kids are already obese, or well on the road to it by the time they start school! They need exercise, not lectures!!!

 

[MineMail]

She should worry less about treats & worry more about the lack of daily PE classes at so many schools. Just like anorexics & bulimics, she has a serious disorder! As a PP stated most of the kids are already obese, or well on the road to it by the time they start school! They need exercise, not lectures!!!

So true, so true. I agree with your post and the others who voiced that same opinion. A moderate diet is vital, but it's not the only thing to focus on in the obesity situation.

Having done playground duty at an all-girls PreK-8 school, I noticed that they STOP playing games around sixth grade and spend lunch/recess gabbing away while sitting on a bench. To try and stem it, we chalked up jumping games and brought jumpropes, which helped somewhat, but were still ignored by many of the older girls. I think daily PE would be a better use of time than gossiping; it would also cut down on the "Mean Girl" situations.

May I suggest to teachers/camp counselors that they NOT use a student's lunch as an example of what not to eat? It affects their food choices in a negative way. Long story, but the counselor felt the non-whole grain bread my kid ate on the fourth day was nutrionally "awful" and pointed it out to everyone as a learning experience. DD's lunches came back uneaten for the next four days (even the ones on whole wheat bread) because she was so embarrassed by this counselor's actions. Geez, I had leftovers one day from entertaining guests, cut me some slack. Guess what camp she's NOT going to attend this summer?

 

[luvmy3]

Are you seriously saying it is your right to send treats for everyone in the class and the kids who aren't allowed to have them, for whatever reason, should just learn to get over it????

Maybe the adults need to figure out that their snowflake's birthday is not just cause for the world to stop revolving on it's axis. Their need to put on a production celebrating their child's birthday does not trump the feelings of his/her classmates. Why can't they just put a birthday cupcake in their kid's lunch and celebrate later at home like the rest of us? Do their children have such low self esteem that they have to be validated by the entire class.

BTW, this thread has completely proven the argument MeMe Roth was making. "Don't tell me what to feed my kid, and don't tell me what I can offer to yours." North American's are entirely too focused on food based rewards. Not every treat has to be something that is consumed.

No, I'm saying their parents should be teaching them that they have certain rules that may sometimes make it so they don't get to have what the other kids do. They should be teaching them how to handle that, its actually a very valuable lesson that can go way beyond cupcakes and candy.
Its not my job to make sure your (general you) child doesn't feel left out of the celebration just becuase he can't have a cupcake, thats yours as his/her parent. Do your job at home and these things wouldn't be issues in school.


Food rewards are very different from treats at parties and celebrations IMO. Its not like the kids are getting this every day because they did some schoolwork. We are talking about the occasional party/celebration.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

When I was growing up, we had treats at parties only. No one brought birthday treats past Kindergarten. We lived through it.

I would much rather have it that way than the way my kid's schools were. Rarely did a day go by when a classmate didn't hand out treats or one of their teachers gave them candy.

I agree. How did we ever survive.

Did I let my kids have the treats? Yes. I'm not going to have them singled out; my choice. But honestly, it just got ridiculous how often people handed out junk to them. They couldn't attend a story hour at the library (less than an hour), or Sunday school (less than an hour) without including junk food. Some teachers rewarded them at school for correct answers with candy. I was very careful about not having crap at home, since they got so much of it everywhere else.

There's obviously a wide range of parental tolerance for candy and other junk. Personally, I never introduced junk to my kids on my own before it was introduced by outside sources...why give them something they know nothing about?? Of course, the younger ones were introduced to junk before the oldest, since they attended events earlier. But then I'd see people like my niece, whose 2 year old son was sitting on my mother's kitchen floor, playing quietly with a toy, and his mother asks him "Do you want some candy?", so he stops playing so she can hand him Smarties one after the other. I don't get it.

What makes a treat a "treat" is that it's not doled out often.

I'm glad those days are over. And my oldest is majoring in Nutrition.

 

[FayeW]

No, I'm saying their parents should be teaching them that they have certain rules that may sometimes make it so they don't get to have what the other kids do. They should be teaching them how to handle that, its actually a very valuable lesson that can go way beyond cupcakes and candy.
Its not my job to make sure your (general you) child doesn't feel left out of the celebration just becuase he can't have a cupcake, thats yours as his/her parent. Do your job at home and these things wouldn't be issues in school.


Food rewards are very different from treats at parties and celebrations IMO. Its not like the kids are getting this every day because they did some schoolwork. We are talking about the occasional party/celebration.

Keep your (general your) celebrations at home where they belong and it won't be an issue at school. A child should never be made to feel uncomfortable or out of place in their own classroom. Particularily not so somebody else can be "celebrated".

 

[koima]

When I cut out high fructose corn syrup and trans fats, they quickly learned that oreos and enteman's were no longer in the house.

Outside, yes they do have things...they will have soda.. I let them eat fast food.

I'm confused about this. Soda has HFCS and fast food is full of trans fats. So did you just cut them out at home and not when you're out? I'm confused as to why Oreos would be off limits but not McDonalds. Not trying to be snarky, just curious about what you mean.

I appear to be in the minority but I don't think these kind of snacks are appropriate to pass out in school. With overweight and obesity becoming epidemic, why encourage unhealthy eating as a way of celebrating? Couldn't celebrating be done in just as easily in a way that didn't include cake and candy?

My kids are little still and we're just starting to encounter this at preschool. My kids don't get soda or fast food; we don't knowingly give them anything with HFCS, trans fats, artificial colors, or chemicals masking as food. I'm really quite picky about it, and my kids are happy, healthy, thriving, and love the food I cook. I give them treats that I make and I've brought in homemade muffins or cookies for my son on days that they'll have treats in class so he's not left out. (His teacher lets me know ahead, which is very nice!)

I know I won't always be the one in control of my kids' eating habits, and I expect that they'll eventually have a hot dog or chicken nugget or candy that will change their tongue a different color, but I'm trying to teach them how to make the best, healthiest food choices and I don't want school parties to undermine those efforts.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Are you seriously saying it is your right to send treats for everyone in the class and the kids who aren't allowed to have them, for whatever reason, should just learn to get over it????

Maybe the adults need to figure out that their snowflake's birthday is not just cause for the world to stop revolving on it's axis. Their need to put on a production celebrating their child's birthday does not trump the feelings of his/her classmates. Why can't they just put a birthday cupcake in their kid's lunch and celebrate later at home like the rest of us? Do their children have such low self esteem that they have to be validated by the entire class.

BTW, this thread has completely proven the argument MeMe Roth was making. "Don't tell me what to feed my kid, and don't tell me what I can offer to yours." North American's are entirely too focused on food based rewards. Not every treat has to be something that is consumed.

I just wish parents would get together and say "It's getting out of hand...let's agree on another way to celebrate." I remember when a nice birthday was when the nuns smiled at you that day.

When we'd go out to eat...which was RARE...we let the kids have soda (no caffeine). If we had eaten out often, the rule would've been different. I didn't get on my MIL's case about the junk she fed my kids (altho, I didn't "get it" ) because she rarely saw them. If my mother gave them junk, I would have told her not to, because my kids saw her frequently...MY mother was much more into fruit and healthy foods.

 

[luvmy3]

Keep your (general your) celebrations at home where they belong and it won't be an issue at school. A child should never be made to feel uncomfortable or out of place in their own classroom. Particularily not so somebody else can be "celebrated".

Birthday celebrations have been going on in schools since I was a kid 30 years ago, and probably well before that. I would say at this point, they are very much part of the elementary school experience. I'm sure in those decades of parties there have been a few who have felt left out, but I'm guessing its not as bad as some may want to believe or else parties and celebrations would have been banned for that very reason a long long time ago. I guess if one doesn't like the tradition of school celebrations or expects the traditions to be changed for them and their children they should be thinking about homeschool or finding a school that has rules against parties and celebrations . Of course we can't really expect that all parents do that, so we can let those kids who want/can have their cupcake to do so and those who won't/can't have something else. Its pretty simple and seems it has worked for decades.