Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[TKDisneylover]

I really wanted to say "well, I'm not having kids because you so kindly have helped to populate the world with your own hockey team", but thought that may have been inappropriate.

Honestly that would have been hilarious had you said it. Can you imagine the look on his face!

Of course we take the kind road, but they can say things like, "your crazy and people like you don't know what your missing." People like us? Yes we do know what we're missing, we won't go crazy trying to feed, cloth & send them through college!!

 

[maddhatir]

Hey All!

(I need to explain a bit. I work in a liquor store,

Liquor store- let me ask you- do you drink absinthe??

Here in the States we just started getting it. I found this out only after doing some research AFTER I ordered a bottle online that was shipped from Germany! It cost me 135.00! The shipping was just as much as the bottle.

I just had a few shots- it is OK. It feels like I took a good perscription cough medicine. I ordered the ALANDIA Suisse La Bleue Clandestine- I personally do not feel it needs sugar- I think it is sweet enough and I did not add any water either. I am not crazy about anise- but the flavor is not too bad--

BUT! it is VERY HOT going down though. I did happen upon something weird. I was drinking coke before pouring my shot. After taking a few sips of my shot- I wanted some coke- so I took a sip of coke then a shot of the absinthe- OMG- it made the shot so much smoother to go down- I wonder if that is what the sugar would do???

 

[TKDisneylover]

Liquor store- let me ask you- do you drink absinthe??

Here in the States we just started getting it. I found this out only after doing some research AFTER I ordered a bottle online that was shipped from Germany! It cost me 135.00! The shipping was just as much as the bottle.

I just had a few shots- it is OK. It feels like I took a good perscription cough medicine. I ordered the ALANDIA Suisse La Bleue Clandestine- I personally do not feel it needs sugar- I think it is sweet enough and I did not add any water either. I am not crazy about anise- but the flavor is not too bad--

BUT! it is VERY HOT going down though. I did happen upon something weird. I was drinking coke before pouring my shot. After taking a few sips of my shot- I wanted some coke- so I took a sip of coke then a shot of the absinthe- OMG- it made the shot so much smoother to go down- I wonder if that is what the sugar would do???

When we went to Mexico people were doing shots of absinthe, but we passed. I had heard conflicting things about it (just being so strong) that I didn't want to chance having a hangover while sitting on a beautiful beach the next day. Yea right, so I did that with tequila instead!

You could be right about the coke making it smoother to go down since there is a lot of sugar in the regular Coke.

Um, do you think they sell that at Disney? Like maybe in Germany at World Showcase?!

 

[maddhatir]

When we went to Mexico people were doing shots of absinthe, but we passed. I had heard conflicting things about it (just being so strong) that I didn't want to chance having a hangover while sitting on a beautiful beach the next day. Yea right, so I did that with tequila instead!

You could be right about the coke making it smoother to go down since there is a lot of sugar in the regular Coke.

Um, do you think they sell that at Disney? Like maybe in Germany at World Showcase?!

I am NOT a drinker and I had 2 shots w/in a half hour and I was fine. I had a headache afterwards- but that could have been from anything! I could have probably done one or 2 more if I was out drinking. I was certainly not impressed with it- I will stick to my vice - WAY more fun!

DH did not even care for it.

I will be able to check to see if they sell it in Disney b/c I am leaving Wed night- DH and I are doing a spur of the moment trip to meet up with BIL, SIL and the kiddies!

I would think I would have better luck finding it in France though- But hey- I will certainly check in Germany too!

 

[TKDisneylover]

I will stick to my vice - WAY more fun!

I totally agree with that! No HANGOVERS!!!

I would think I would have better luck finding it in France though- But hey- I will certainly check in Germany too!

We will be there Sunday, so I will check out both France & Germany. Maybe we will get lucky and find some to try. I don't think I want to shell out $135 a bottle. But that does remind of the time we had two $65.00 shots of tequila, would never do it again, but it was excellent stuff!

Have a nice spur of the moment vacation!

 

[maddhatir]

I totally agree with that! No HANGOVERS!!!



We will be there Sunday, so I will check out both France & Germany. Maybe we will get lucky and find some to try. I don't think I want to shell out $135 a bottle. But that does remind of the time we had two $65.00 shots of tequila, would never do it again, but it was excellent stuff!

Have a nice spur of the moment vacation!

Oh wow- we are leaving Sunday!

The bottle only cost that much b/c the shipping was just as much as the bottle. It would have been about 65.00 for just the bottle.

We do have 2 different types in a liquor store down the street from us- I think one of the bottles is only 35.00.

 

[Cara]

I do have one child, but I have the perfect answer for the folks who should mind their own business. DH's grandfather was a dirty old man. Seriously. From the time we got married, he was on our case. When are you going to have kids? Are you ever going to have a baby? Yada, yada. One day he said, "When are you going to have kids. Can't you have any?"

My response: "We don't plan to have children. I just married him for sex."

He never asked again.

 

[ChisJo]

IOne day he said, "When are you going to have kids. Can't you have any?"

My response: "We don't plan to have children. I just married him for sex."

He never asked again.

That's my new response!!!

 

[TKDisneylover]

My response: "We don't plan to have children. I just married him for sex."

He never asked again.

I love it! That is an excellent response, especially for a "dirty old man." Thank goodness we do not have to worry about that question any more. I think once we hit our 40's they finally gave up.

 

[Cara]

LOL! Glad you liked the response. I thought my DH was going to pass out, LOL. I just could not believe his nerve. "Can't you have any?" I hate to speak ill of the dead, but he was a jerk!

 

[BigGreen73]

I do have one child, but I have the perfect answer for the folks who should mind their own business. DH's grandfather was a dirty old man. Seriously. From the time we got married, he was on our case. When are you going to have kids? Are you ever going to have a baby? Yada, yada. One day he said, "When are you going to have kids. Can't you have any?"

My response: "We don't plan to have children. I just married him for sex."

He never asked again.

Love it.

My DW and I have been married for over 10 years and we have no kids and are not planning on having any either. I personnally get along fine with kids and they gravitate towards me as I am a big kid myself. I have about a dozen nieces and nephews of varying ages, Everyone gives me the same lines of you guys would be great parents, you'd be an awesome dad, why don't you want any, you should have some, you don't know what your missing, not even one, etc etc etc. Ugh!! I did know having a kid was an obligation. It doesn't bother me anyway. Our life our choice. Period. Plus that just gives us extra cash for WDW.

 

[zima-cheryl]

BigGreen73 -- Saco, Maine! Small world. We drive by you every summer on our way to Bar Harbor. Next time we go by the exit I'll wave.

We love our annual treck to Maine! Long stop at the outlets in Kittery to do a bit of shopping then off to hike the backwoods for a few days.
Beautiful country up that way - at least in the summer. Not sure I'd visit in the winter months.

 

[Donald&Tinkerbell]

DH is from Augusta and the Navy sent us from FL to Winter Harbor for 2 years. I loved it, it was beautiful. Winters were a shock, this FL girl had never left the South until then. This was 1980 and we've been back in FL for 18 years. DH loves being this close to heaven (WDW). When we were in Maine, though, pressure from the in-laws was heavy. DH is the oldest of 6 and his mother chose to ignore our decision. My DM raised us to make a conscious decision about having kids. Funny, she had 3 daughters & 1 son, the son is the only one with kids.

 

[BigGreen73]

BigGreen73 -- Saco, Maine! Small world. We drive by you every summer on our way to Bar Harbor. Next time we go by the exit I'll wave.

We love our annual treck to Maine! Long stop at the outlets in Kittery to do a bit of shopping then off to hike the backwoods for a few days.
Beautiful country up that way - at least in the summer. Not sure I'd visit in the winter months.

I'll be sure to wave back. Just be sure to honk.

 

[Liisa]

Madd,

I'm a little late catching up... but an impromptu trip to WDW?!! How did you manage it. I thought your DH needed a break? Whatever you did, it worked! Good Job!!!

Liisa

 

[Rozzie]

I was thinking of this thread the other day at work, where I am affectionately known as the kid hater. I have quite a few people tell me in private that they are jealous of me sometimes, and wonder what their life would have been if they never had their kids. Yet, in a group, they still like to rib me for not having kids. It is strange how coworkers declare it their mission in life to get you to breed. Really, is their life that boring?

So question for the thread. Anybody thinking of getting their "plumbing" out? For my 35th (32 now), my Doc has already agreed to it, as there are some medical issues too that help my argument. Not to be too terribly nosy, just wondering if anyone is going this route a little earlier than usual. (Yep, my doc won't do it till' I'm 35, each appt, asks, "changed your mind yet?" )

 

[pfalcioni]

You know, it's funny that so many of you have had people razz them about their childless choice.

I'm in my 40's, been married since I was 27, and never had a single person ask more than once. Maybe it's my attitude? Maybe I don't act like 'parent' material? Weird.

I'm lucky that my bro and his wife took care of the grandkid thing.

 

[KirklandTutu]

I think it's a bigger issue with my family because both DH and I are only children.

On the plumbing issue...when I mentioned to my doctor that I didn't want kids she was all 'ok, here's the procedures, we can do it today if you want'. What?!?!?! just like that? I'm 31, and while I've never wanted kids and doubt I ever will, I do think that I should wait a few more years just incase the bug catches.

 

[zima-cheryl]

.... I do think that I should wait a few more years just incase the bug catches.

The beauty of it is we have soooo many options that you can stay child-free w/out doing anything permanent.

Personally I had the Essure done back in March & couldn't be happier. Didn't like the idea of surgery, so the office procedure was perfect for me. I'd really recommend that to anyone ready to go permanent.

And as for some doctors waiting until patients are a certain age - in a way I can understand. We are such a litigious society. Can't you see some kid getting her tubes tied then suing the doctor 5 years later 'cause she changed her mind? You know it probably has happened.

 

[PoohNTuck]

Hey Friends!
After several years of discussion and a little more than 6 mos marriage...
DH and I made the VAS appt today.

It's not until Jan 9th (we're away and then the doc is away for the holidays) but we're already nervous. Wondering if anyone could share the details of their appt, any questions asked, or anything to expect. DH and I are several years apart. I'm nearly 30 and he's in his early 20s. My hormonal pills are no longer working for me and I feel sad with very decreased libido on the newer, higher pills. We've upped me to the highest hormone I can do and the only benefit is pregnancy prevention. Long term use of condoms will lead to pregnancy as we won't use them reliably enough. Neither of us enjoy them at all. And while I did attempt NFP my cycles are so irregular from 15 years on the pill that I don't feel it's a safe way to prevent pregnancy.

We just want to make sure we have a successful meeting with the doc and no problems getting the procedure okayed. I'm afraid because I've read that people are denied for young age. We are married and have decided that we don't want children. Our occasional reasons for wanting them are shallow and fleeting. Knowing that we may "change our minds" we are prepared to adopt if and when we ever feel ready for children. And of course, nobody is prepared to talk about divorce. For example, if his next wife wanted children... but we aren't making any other decisions based on what his "next wife" would want so... can anyone ask any questions or give us any advice in preparation for the appt? We've read about the procedure many times, clearly understand the anatomy and practicalities surrounding the outpatient (no scalpel) procedure. And, I'm an R.N. and very prepared to cater to him for a few days while he "elevates his feet" and recovers.

It would just be embarrassing/frustrating/hurtful to be denied in January and there aren't many providers in our rural area (particularly those skilled in the no scalpel procedure) so despite his age we want to make a good impression on the doctor.

Anything I'm missing? We have a bit over a month til the appt so please give any and all advice/questions/etc on the board or in a PM if desired.

TIA,
PoohNTuck