Loss of DH

[AnnaS]

Anna I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family. Words can never express the tremendous loss. One minute, one hour, one day at a time.

Thank you. Still walking around in a fog.

 

[AnnaS]

As with others here, Anna, so very sorry to hear of your husband's passing. My condolences to you, your family, your friends. God speed for him, prayers are with you all. I just said above, a day at a time, no more, just, one, day. 's

Thank you. Still trying to wrap my head around all this. My heart is broken.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Annaand prayers.

Extra caring prayers to all.

 

[mommasita]

Thank you. Still walking around in a fog.

Sending love to you as well.

 

[BroadwayHermione5]

I just joined the club

I may make my own posting if and when I’m ready to share. But it’s been comforting to read through this thread while I search for understanding. Hopefully all who has lost someone is doing as well as they can be.

im so sorry

 

[DisTXMom]

Longtime disboards member and never dreamed I’d be posting on this thread. DH went to the hospital 5/1 with some health concerns and after a very traumatic path, was diagnosed and died of brain cancer in June- less than 2 months later. It was very fast and has been hard to process how someone can go from normal and healthy to gone so quickly. He was 53. I’m not yet 50. We had a beautiful life, it was just so very short compared to what we had hoped for. The heartbreak and pain is so much. I know it will get better but when you’re in it, it’s hard to believe it will actually get better. Trying to be thankful for things such as I have a good career of my own and so don’t have financial worries, I’m comfortable doing all of the household and financial things, our DD’s are nearly grown…. Continue to be blessed in many ways but this is not the life I wanted.

 

[Marrila]

Longtime disboards member and never dreamed I’d be posting on this thread. DH went to the hospital 5/1 with some health concerns and after a very traumatic path, was diagnosed and died of brain cancer in June- less than 2 months later. It was very fast and has been hard to process how someone can go from normal and healthy to gone so quickly. He was 53. I’m not yet 50. We had a beautiful life, it was just so very short compared to what we had hoped for. The heartbreak and pain is so much. I know it will get better but when you’re in it, it’s hard to believe it will actually get better. Trying to be thankful for things such as I have a good career of my own and so don’t have financial worries, I’m comfortable doing all of the household and financial things, our DD’s are nearly grown…. Continue to be blessed in many ways but this is not the life I wanted.

I am very sorry for your loss.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Longtime disboards member and never dreamed I’d be posting on this thread. DH went to the hospital 5/1 with some health concerns and after a very traumatic path, was diagnosed and died of brain cancer in June- less than 2 months later. It was very fast and has been hard to process how someone can go from normal and healthy to gone so quickly. He was 53. I’m not yet 50. We had a beautiful life, it was just so very short compared to what we had hoped for. The heartbreak and pain is so much. I know it will get better but when you’re in it, it’s hard to believe it will actually get better. Trying to be thankful for things such as I have a good career of my own and so don’t have financial worries, I’m comfortable doing all of the household and financial things, our DD’s are nearly grown…. Continue to be blessed in many ways but this is not the life I wanted.

Good evening, @DisTXMom. So sorry to see you posting here of your husband's recent passing. My best wishes for you, your daughters, family and friends. God speed for your husband. A day at a time, a step at a time. 's for you.

 

[ramee]

Longtime disboards member and never dreamed I’d be posting on this thread. DH went to the hospital 5/1 with some health concerns and after a very traumatic path, was diagnosed and died of brain cancer in June- less than 2 months later. It was very fast and has been hard to process how someone can go from normal and healthy to gone so quickly. He was 53. I’m not yet 50. We had a beautiful life, it was just so very short compared to what we had hoped for. The heartbreak and pain is so much. I know it will get better but when you’re in it, it’s hard to believe it will actually get better. Trying to be thankful for things such as I have a good career of my own and so don’t have financial worries, I’m comfortable doing all of the household and financial things, our DD’s are nearly grown…. Continue to be blessed in many ways but this is not the life I wanted.

I was just reading on the widower’s Reddit when I thought I’d take a break and check in here. When I saw this thread come up, my heart sank. I lost my husband suddenly in April and I often randomly wonder “how did we get here?” I’m sorry you are going through this. Try to find as many resources and support as you need. Keep your positive perspective on other things as to not completely lose it. Take of yourself

 

[TCRAIG]

I am so sorry for all who have to go through this painful part of life. I too lost my husband last year after being married almost 43 years. It was sudden and completely unexpected. Just know that you are not alone and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve and no set timeline.

 

[AnnaS]

@TCRAIG , @ramee @DisTXMom (tried multi-quote ).

Sorry for your loss...... I don't say and won't say "one day at a time", for me it's "one moment at a time". We were always together. Everywhere I turn, he is not here with me. Hang in there. Not a fun club to be in for sure.

4 months have just passed for me. It is getting harder and harder for me. I know and "thought/knew" it would get harder before it might start to ease a bit. I miss my DH so much more and more each day. I am trying so hard to keep the same routine (just alone now), distract myself.

Someone describe it as carrying a heavy stone (in my heart for sure). Some day, the stone will feel lighter but I will always carry it with me.

 

[ramee]

@TCRAIG , @ramee @DisTXMom (tried multi-quote ).

Sorry for your loss...... I don't say and won't say "one day at a time", for me it's "one moment at a time". We were always together. Everywhere I turn, he is not here with me. Hang in there. Not a fun club to be in for sure.

4 months have just passed for me. It is getting harder and harder for me. I know and "thought/knew" it would get harder before it might start to ease a bit. I miss my DH so much more and more each day. I am trying so hard to keep the same routine (just alone now), distract myself.

Someone describe it as carrying a heavy stone (in my heart for sure). Some day, the stone will feel lighter but I will always carry it with me.

I feel all of this. I wish I could continue to be blissfully ignorant to this kind of pain.

A week a so into it, I felt like I had to apologize to my mom. While a different dynamic, she had lost 2 siblings within months years ago. I said “I’m so sorry. I didn’t understand.” She said “I wish you didn’t have to.”

It’s a whole new perspective. I took it a step further and apologized to my best friend. I’ve always tried to relate my experiences with my kids to her kid with autism. But I’ve realized; you just don’t know until you know…until you walk the same path.

Unfortunately, though, the universal experience of loss is a matter of when. We expect to reach old age. I’m not sure there is ever enough time.

Just know that you are not alone and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve and no set timeline.

Exactly.

*hugs* to all.

 

[Snowysmom]

@DisTXMom I am so sorry for your loss. The road is hard and everyone's road is different. It is one second or one minute at time some days. Prayers for you and your daughters.

I can't believe my DH has been gone almost 3 years as it seems like yesterday. We were together all the time. If you saw him, you saw me. We were supposed to retire in 2024 and had so many plans together so this year has been hard. I keep working so I have something to do. The days are still tough. I do have some times when I can think of him and smile but those are not too many yet. I went to a grief group recently and the grief counselor is a very wise comforting person. She did say you will grief for your DH for the rest of your life but it is just a matter of how it ebbs and flows. I wish more people would understand that.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[DisTXMom]

@DisTXMom I am so sorry for your loss. The road is hard and everyone's road is different. It is one second or one minute at time some days. Prayers for you and your daughters.

I can't believe my DH has been gone almost 3 years as it seems like yesterday. We were together all the time. If you saw him, you saw me. We were supposed to retire in 2024 and had so many plans together so this year has been hard. I keep working so I have something to do. The days are still tough. I do have some times when I can think of him and smile but those are not too many yet. I went to a grief group recently and the grief counselor is a very wise comforting person. She did say you will grief for your DH for the rest of your life but it is just a matter of how it ebbs and flows. I wish more people would understand that.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you @Snowysmom Yes that is how it feels. Realizing that I will mourn him forever, it will just be less acute over time and there will be more good mixed in. As you said it’s hard to have all your dreams just get wiped away with a loss like this. Thank you

 

[SpaceMan5]

It has been hard reading the posts about losing loved ones. It is never easy in the moment or down the road years later.

I will speak from experience, take the time to fully grieve. It is easy to put aside your own feelings and say that I need to be there for others, to be the strong one but you have to find a balance.

Seek professional help. Don't have the mindset that I can handle this and it will be fine. How do you know for sure? Get out in front of it and don't wait.

 

[Snowysmom]

Spaceman5 Good advice. Thank you. I found talking with a therapist to be very helpful. You do need to take of you. That is not always easy but so necessary.