Losing a parent - sadness/depression

[kittengal13]

OP, your post has moved me to tears so I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling. I am so, so unbelievably sorry for your loss and I just want to give you a huge hug right now i hope you begin to feel better soon, and all my thoughts are with you

 

[JeanetteK]

I just need her to come to me. I need to feel her around me. I guess today (and last night) is just going to be one of the tough days. She made scrapbooks for me and my siblings back in 1993. I got mine out last night before I went to bed. I was hoping that if I focused solely on her before bed, that she would come to me in my dreams. She didn't.

Why is it if I even have one fleeting thought of my jerk ex-husband I will have a dream about him? I think of my beautiful, loving mother all day and focus on her especially at night and I can't dream of her? I just need some sort of little hint that she is around me. I just need to feel her presence.

Hugs and prayers to each and every one of you who have posted and shared your stories. Thanks for all the kind words. Today is just a bad day for me.

 

[mks2774]

Praying for you that you will be comforted during this time! Hugs to yoy

 

[maxaroni]

I just need her to come to me. I need to feel her around me. I guess today (and last night) is just going to be one of the tough days. She made scrapbooks for me and my siblings back in 1993. I got mine out last night before I went to bed. I was hoping that if I focused solely on her before bed, that she would come to me in my dreams. She didn't.

Why is it if I even have one fleeting thought of my jerk ex-husband I will have a dream about him? I think of my beautiful, loving mother all day and focus on her especially at night and I can't dream of her? I just need some sort of little hint that she is around me. I just need to feel her presence.

Hugs and prayers to each and every one of you who have posted and shared your stories. Thanks for all the kind words. Today is just a bad day for me.

Just PM'd you

 

[maxaroni]

Tough day for me. Losing my mom just hurts so much. Today it's 3 weeks that we ended dialysis and brought her home on hospice. She passed a little over 48 hours later.

 

[JeanetteK]

Tough day for me. Losing my mom just hurts so much. Today it's 3 weeks that we ended dialysis and brought her home on hospice. She passed a little over 48 hours later.

I got your PM. Thanks for sharing that!

The "weekly" milestones or the "monthly" milestones of their illness/being placed in Hospice/their last day reminders are tough. I've never focused on how long it has been since something happened, but those milestones just come to you. No need to even try to figure it out.

Praying for you today, as we share a tough day together.



Jeanette

 

[JoiseyMom]

Hugs OP. It does get better. My mom has been gone for almost 16 years. I still miss her so much. But it gets better. It will take time. You are always going to miss her, but the gut wrenching pain will decrease and you will feel better. Promise. But then there are times that you will feel it again.

My daughters friend (18 last week) just lost her mom yesterday. I feel her pain and feel helpless. I had hard enough time as a grown women, I can't imagine how this child is dealing with it.

Hang in, remember all the good times and smile and cry. She is with you always.

 

[karenbaco]

OP.....My MOm is in my dreams very often. Funny because I dream of my deceased sister once in a blue moon and my Mom more often, but never my Dad. Maybe it's because he was such a different person when he passed? Anyway, I have random dreams about my Mom, they are always happy ones though, then I wake up My grandmother made a teddy bear for me from my MOm's favorite shirt. I keep it in a display case because it's very special to me and it smells like her. I also took some of her ashes and put them in a locket that I wear to feel close to her. It does help.

 

[JeanetteK]

Sending hugs and prayers to all of those hurting today. Hoping for a less tearful day today for myself.

 

[dreamin_disney]

I'm sorry for your loss.

Same thing happened to me. I was 26 when I lost my Mom to Cancer. She was only 61. We had a close relationship. This month was 15 years that shes been gone. And for some reason one of the hardest, I'm dealing with lots of closure these last few months.

What helped me get through it was remembering her sick and suffering due to cancer. When I start to feel down, I think of her suffering and I remind myself shes in a better place and no longer suffering. I try to remember the positive and the good times. I used to feel really down on her B-day and anniversary or her death but now I try to take her flowers on those days and go out to a movie or go to lunch or dinner with dh and dd. She's still in my heart and when I need to talk to her I do it silently in my heart and my thoughts. Its kinda of weird but It just feels like shes far away on a vacation but no dead. Maybe because I hold her close to my heart.

Everything you are feeling is normal. Just remember your Mom would want you to be happy and no sad. Sending you big hugs!

 

[JeanetteK]

What helped me get through it was remembering her sick and suffering due to cancer. When I start to feel down, I think of her suffering and I remind myself shes in a better place and no longer suffering. I try to remember the positive and the good times.

Everything you are feeling is normal. Just remember your Mom would want you to be happy and no sad. Sending you big hugs!

Thank you for your post. I know in my head that she's in a much better place. She has no pain, no suffering, no breathing problems. But in my heart, I just cannot accept yet that she's gone. Yesterday was 3 weeks since her passing. Honestly, it feels like it's been 3 years. Yet, at the same time, time seems to be dragging so slowly in my everyday life.

Having good and bad days, but the bad days are really bad.

Thinking of you all today and hoping you're all doing well.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Been thinking of you all day Sending prayers to you for strength, some quality sleep, and even one terrific hour today It's hard but you will get through, I promise

Ruthie

 

[JeanetteK]

Been thinking of you all day Sending prayers to you for strength, some quality sleep, and even one terrific hour today It's hard but you will get through, I promise

Ruthie

Thank you, Ruthie. Today has been okay. Sad, but not in tears. Thank you for your continued prayers and your kinds words.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Thank you, Ruthie. Today has been okay. Sad, but not in tears. Thank you for your continued prayers and your kinds words.

I propose a Dismeet when you are down here and a big HUG We will toast the parents !

 

[maxaroni]

Thank you for your post. I know in my head that she's in a much better place. She has no pain, no suffering, no breathing problems. But in my heart, I just cannot accept yet that she's gone. Yesterday was 3 weeks since her passing. Honestly, it feels like it's been 3 years. Yet, at the same time, time seems to be dragging so slowly in my everyday life.

Having good and bad days, but the bad days are really bad.

Thinking of you all today and hoping you're all doing well.

It was 3 weeks go tonight (3/4 going into 3/5....actually passing right after midnight) that mom took her last breaths and out of pain and suffering. However, i still can't wrap my head around the fact she's gone. It seems so surreal. She was so sick for so long and was basically house bound.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Maxaroni ....prayers for you too so very difficult

 

[maxaroni]

Maxaroni ....prayers for you too so very difficult

Thank you :

When OP posted this thread, it has helped me as well.

 

[Jaya]

I lost my father almost 20 years ago and it took me years to "let go" of him. I'd be looking at something and think "I'm going to have to tell Dad about this" and then I'd catch myself and remember he was gone. I can only tell you that, yes, it will eventually get better. You'll always miss your loved ones, but in time, you will be able to "let go".

 

[JeanetteK]

It was 3 weeks go tonight (3/4 going into 3/5....actually passing right after midnight) that mom took her last breaths and out of pain and suffering. However, i still can't wrap my head around the fact she's gone. It seems so surreal. She was so sick for so long and was basically house bound.

Thinking of you right now and praying for you. I'm glad that my post has helped you as well. I has been really helpful for me to hear others' stories, although I really would much rather be bonding over other subjects rather than the loss of our mothers. Sending you hugs right now!!!

My mind is all sorts of scattered. I burned my hand on the oven tonight. I bent my fingernail all the way back opening a carton of ice cream - snapping it off so short that it hurts. It's one silly mishap after another. I should just quit while I'm ahead.

Ruthie - I'll be in Disney 4/28 - 5/8. I'm up for meeting up if you are. If not, I just want you to know that your kind words have touched my heart, and I thank you!

 

[JeanetteK]

I lost my father almost 20 years ago and it took me years to "let go" of him. I'd be looking at something and think "I'm going to have to tell Dad about this" and then I'd catch myself and remember he was gone. I can only tell you that, yes, it will eventually get better. You'll always miss your loved ones, but in time, you will be able to "let go".

Oh, the wanting to make a phone call is the worst. Because it just comes to me so quickly and then BAM reality hits and makes me realize that it's an impossibility.