Is there some award for an 18-month-old thread with this many posts in it?
Seriously, I read the first several pages and glazed over with all the anxiety -- this kind of thing could be contagious!
Anyway, in case you're still getting the uber-commando urges, here's a tip (and I apologize if it was already given somewhere between pages 6 and 166): when you find yourself getting anxious about a situation, visualize a stop sign in your mind's eye. This is to break the cycle of worry/anxiety. Then, if it's something over which you have control, take positive action to rectify it. Flat tire? Get out and fix it. Kid threw up? Take a deep breath and clean it up (besides, you planned ahead for just this situation, right?). If, however, it's something over which you have no control (slow traffic, late airplanes, lost luggage), realize that getting angry or anxious will do NOTHING to resolve the situation -- in fact, may actually make it worse. Tell yourself that you did everything humanly possible to plan your event, and remind yourself that YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THINGS NOT IN YOUR CONTROL (and this INCLUDES your family members when they disregard or fail to use your planning tools). Say this over and over again until you feel in control again.
I used to be a Type A traveler, making myself and all around me absolutely miserable at the slightest perceived mishap. I've gotten a lot better since realizing that I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THINGS OVER WHICH I HAVE NO CONTROL. In fact, I now chalk all mishaps and ill-timed events up to "the adventure of travel," laugh at misfortune, and press on to enjoy the rest of my vacation time.
Again, I hope this helps (or I apologize for being long-winded and repetitious). When I have more time (and I'm suitably tranquil), I'll read the rest of your thread.