Man, I don't remember the Governor holding me THAT close! You are very resourceful, Andrew!
Yes, I guess I will have to admit a special relationship with W. BUT that was before Lampy! Let's get that straight. Or is that not "straight"?
After the hunting accident here in Texas, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Commission is passing around the hunting regulations regarding when you can and can't hunt attorneys. I think the season is year around.
By the way, Andrew, I have some friends that would like to invite you to our hunting lease this year. I have told them all about you. and you are just the kind of guy they would like to hang up. OOps, I meant to say "hang with."
Now, these regs came to me by email from a State Official. I did not write them, so I don't want you attorney types taking this wrong. Blame the Texas Game Wardens.
New State of Texas Hunting laws - Attorney season and bag limits
1300.01 GENERAL
1. Any person with a valid Texas State hunting license may harvest
attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of
currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally
struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine,
helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier"
for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW
dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills,
prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms,
law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to
hunt, trap, or possess it.
10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department
inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter,
drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or
tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
5. Honest Attorney EXTINCT
6. Cut-throat 2
7. Back-stabbing Whiner 2
8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty