Laws regarding public breastfeeding

[ShayBells]

I think as much as its a mothers right to breastfeed (whenever and however) it's just as much the other persons right to feel uncomfortable.

I was serving when I was 19 and there was this table I came up and introduced myself and asked for drink orders as I was talking the mom took out her breast and than proceeded to breastfeed. Man was it awkward for me. I'm just saying would it of killed her to wait for the one extra second it would of took me to finish the drink orders and walk away?

Does that make me sucha terrible person for thinking that? Not that I didn't want her to do it. It's her right as a mother but I would have been much happier if she would of waited one more second for me to walk away first.

 

[ronandannette]

Why is it so absurd to think that there are women out there who are just as comfortable being topless as men are.

One of my aunts immigrated here and she walked around the house topless all the time. And she raised 4 boys, none of whom are sexual deviants as adults.

My other aunt came to visit us and we took her to Florida. We were on the beach and the first thing she did was take her top off. My mother had to tell her that people just didn't do that here. Both of them thought it was ridiculous the hang ups Americans have with breasts.

I would never do it as I would be self-conscious, but I live in a pretty crunchy city and there are plenty of women who would and do garden topless. They go out to sunbathe and then work in the yard.

Just because you think it absurd that anybody would consider going topless, there really are people out there who are just as comfortable going topless as a man is comfortable taking his shirt off in public.

Read more carefully please. I said my question was absurd - purposely to point out that many of the comments in support of this behaviour is ideological rhetoric, not a real defence of something you actually want to be free to do. In fact, not ONE SINGLE WOMAN has agreed that they do, or would do this. The closest we've come so far is your Aunt.

 

[gemini2727]

I think as much as its a mothers right to breastfeed (whenever and however) it's just as much the other persons right to feel uncomfortable.

I was serving when I was 19 and there was this table I came up and introduced myself and asked for drink orders as I was talking the mom took out her breast and than proceeded to breastfeed. Man was it awkward for me. I'm just saying would it of killed her to wait for the one extra second it would of took me to finish the drink orders and walk away?

Does that make me sucha terrible person for thinking that? Not that I didn't want her to do it. It's her right as a mother but I would have been much happier if she would of waited one more second for me to walk away first.

Your comfort level is your business, I don't think it makes you a terrible person at all. But I can say it becomes so second nature to begin nursing when your baby starts fussing, you hardly even think about it. I doubt she intentionally meant to flash you.

 

[Ceila]

I think as much as its a mothers right to breastfeed (whenever and however) it's just as much the other persons right to feel uncomfortable.

I was serving when I was 19 and there was this table I came up and introduced myself and asked for drink orders as I was talking the mom took out her breast and than proceeded to breastfeed. Man was it awkward for me. I'm just saying would it of killed her to wait for the one extra second it would of took me to finish the drink orders and walk away?

Does that make me sucha terrible person for thinking that? Not that I didn't want her to do it. It's her right as a mother but I would have been much happier if she would of waited one more second for me to walk away first.

That doesn't make you a terrible person at all - it just means that you're human, and we all have different comfort levels about different things. Had you refused to continue taking their order, or said something to her, then that would have been uncalled for. Just wishing that she'd waited? Nothing wrong with that in the least.

 

[Planogirl]

Eh, there are two topics here. One was the right to go topless and the other was indiscreet nursing. I was commenting on the topless aspect and not really the nursing. The topic of nursing has been beaten to death and it doesn't appear that the two sides will ever come to a middle ground.

 

[Planogirl]

Baby steps are for babies, not adults. What do you think of women in our society who cover their hair and/or and faces in public? Their men sexualize these parts. Should we respect them by covering up as well as to not offend? They are citizens of our country just as we are.

Babies are being fed and I cannot believe people think women should be "discreet" about it. There is nothing shameful about feeding a baby in the most natural and healthy way possible.

The women who cover their hair and faces have nothing to do with what we currently accept in our culture. I said nothing about that because it isn't relevant to the point I was making.

 

[lauradis]

I'm amused by all of the back and forth on this. Clearly people will never agree.

I would love it if some men joined in and gave their thoughts. I think that most men see breasts as sexual items and I doubt that many of them will think any differently just because of how they are used.

I Ask my husband this last night. He said its sexual, but not in a lets get in on way.

 

[Disney Doll]

Thought of this thread when Neil Patrick Harris came out on the stage of the Academy Awards topless with his nipples showing and in his tighty whities.

Frankly, I didn't need to see that either. I don't think it added to the show. And yes, I understood the reference.

But then again, by today's standards I'm a fossil because I think everyone shows far too much skin and wears their clothing far too tight.

 

[IndyRnRfan]

I am a man and my question is, this was never an issue for the past 200+ years. Why all of the sudden is this becoming an issue to where women need to publicly breastfeed? Is it because women are out of the house more these days than the past with infants? I find this hard to believe but just curious is all.

And just playing devils advocate, why should anyone be inconveninced out in public by a women who needs to breastfeed their child out in the open? I am all for feeding your baby, but I also feel you should be discreet about it as well. I worked in the restaurant business for 6 years back in the 90's. I never once saw a woman breastfeeding a child and this was in a very populated major city. I don't really see it that often now and the times I do see it, the mom has a breastfeeding type top on or a cover over the baby so I don't really see what the big deal is. I guess other cities have women who are not as discreet. I am also not saying one way is right or wrong or legal or illegal but women did this just fine without any problems forever up until the past 10 years or so it seems. I am just trying to figure out why this is a problem now? Maybe restaurants and public places should have a feeding room for moms and this would solve the issue??? IDK. There has to be a happy medium somewhere.

Let me also be clear, I don't really don't care one way or the other. You want to breastfeed, that is fine. You don't, that is fine. You want to be discreet, go ahead. You want to plop it out, go ahead. But, whether it is breastfeeding or anything else, if you are making others uncomfortable around you by your actions, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

 

[Disney Doll]

Sorry, I thought I explained, but I guess I was not clear. The PP I quoted was referring to this:


Their mention of "4 year old" had absolutely nothing to do with the Time magazine article.

My comments about the time magazine article were separated from my response to the quoted poster and prefaced with "on another note", so I thought it was clear that my post included two separate topics. I apologize for being more confusing than I had intended.


And, neither I nor any previous posters were "defending" the Time article. I only referenced it since it had been mentioned (incorrectly) several times on this thread that it depicted a BFing 6 yr old.

I think there is a difference between a 6 yr old and a 3 yr old, just as there is a difference between a 3yr old and an infant, so it's relevant to have the facts when discussing what's appropriate and what's inappropriate.

I wasn't talking about the Time Magazine article. I was talking about my friend's sister whose 4 year old unbuttoned herm other's blouse at a family/friends gathering and began to breastfeed.

And frankly, if people are going to act outside of het societal norm, they have to expect they are garner some attention and commentary. That's the reality, like it or not.

 

[mom2rtk]

I am a man and my question is, this was never an issue for the past 200+ years. Why all of the sudden is this becoming an issue to where women need to publicly breastfeed? Is it because women are out of the house more these days than the past with infants? I find this hard to believe but just curious is all.

And just playing devils advocate, why should anyone be inconveninced out in public by a women who needs to breastfeed their child out in the open? I am all for feeding your baby, but I also feel you should be discreet about it as well. I worked in the restaurant business for 6 years back in the 90's. I never once saw a woman breastfeeding a child and this was in a very populated major city. I don't really see it that often now and the times I do see it, the mom has a breastfeeding type top on or a cover over the baby so I don't really see what the big deal is. I guess other cities have women who are not as discreet. I am also not saying one way is right or wrong or legal or illegal but women did this just fine without any problems forever up until the past 10 years or so it seems. I am just trying to figure out why this is a problem now? Maybe restaurants and public places should have a feeding room for moms and this would solve the issue??? IDK. There has to be a happy medium somewhere.

Let me also be clear, I don't really don't care one way or the other. You want to breastfeed, that is fine. You don't, that is fine. You want to be discreet, go ahead. You want to plop it out, go ahead. But, whether it is breastfeeding or anything else, if you are making others uncomfortable around you by your actions, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

It's because women are tired of being banished to the bathroom or bedroom to feed their child. Feeding your baby takes hours out of the day early on. MANY HOURS. And it's very isolating if you must hide out to do it.

That said, the only disagreement I've really noted on this thread is between those saying some discretion should be used and those who support public feeding in any fashion the mother wants to do it.

It's not a question of if, but how.

No need to play devil's advocate. I doubt you will find many willing to take an absolute stance that if it makes anyone uncomfortable, you should not do it. Babies deserve to be fed when they are hungry. Women deserve to have a life, regardless of how they feed their babies.

If it makes someone uncomfortable to see a woman nursing a baby in a discreet fashion, the problem is theirs, not the mother's.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I am a man and my question is, this was never an issue for the past 200+ years. Why all of the sudden is this becoming an issue to where women need to publicly breastfeed? Is it because women are out of the house more these days than the past with infants? I find this hard to believe but just curious is all.

And just playing devils advocate, why should anyone be inconveninced out in public by a women who needs to breastfeed their child out in the open? I am all for feeding your baby, but I also feel you should be discreet about it as well. I worked in the restaurant business for 6 years back in the 90's. I never once saw a woman breastfeeding a child and this was in a very populated major city. I don't really see it that often now and the times I do see it, the mom has a breastfeeding type top on or a cover over the baby so I don't really see what the big deal is. I guess other cities have women who are not as discreet. I am also not saying one way is right or wrong or legal or illegal but women did this just fine without any problems forever up until the past 10 years or so it seems. I am just trying to figure out why this is a problem now? Maybe restaurants and public places should have a feeding room for moms and this would solve the issue??? IDK. There has to be a happy medium somewhere.

Let me also be clear, I don't really don't care one way or the other. You want to breastfeed, that is fine. You don't, that is fine. You want to be discreet, go ahead. You want to plop it out, go ahead. But, whether it is breastfeeding or anything else, if you are making others uncomfortable around you by your actions, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

It wasn't an issue 200 years ago because it was so common that people barely noticed. Babies who weren't breastfed were very likely to die. Someone posted photos earlier of women breastfeeding in public situations from around 100 years ago. By the mid-1900s, formula-feeding became more popular than breastfeeding, and those who breastfed tended to do it for a short period of time, so people stopped seeing it, and then it became "odd." It took quite a few years for breastfeeding rates to start to increase again. Now that more mothers are breastfeeding, and for longer duration, they want to go out with their babies - and they're fed up with being told to go "do that in the bathroom."

The comfort of others shouldn't be what determines what you do, because you can't please everyone. Before you start eating a steak in a restaurant, do you ask the people at the other tables if any of them are vegetarian and will be bothered by seeing you eat a piece of a dead cow?

 

[IndyRnRfan]

If it makes someone uncomfortable to see a woman nursing a baby in a discreet fashion, the problem is theirs, not the mother's.

That is what I was agreeing with. If you are doing it in a discreet fashion, it shouldn't be a problem. I can't believe people have a problem with this. I was under the impression that people were only having a problem with women doing this indiscreetly(just whipping out a breast). This hasn't been making our news so I was a little in the dark here.

 

[okeydokey]

I think as much as its a mothers right to breastfeed (whenever and however) it's just as much the other persons right to feel uncomfortable.

I was serving when I was 19 and there was this table I came up and introduced myself and asked for drink orders as I was talking the mom took out her breast and than proceeded to breastfeed. Man was it awkward for me. I'm just saying would it of killed her to wait for the one extra second it would of took me to finish the drink orders and walk away?

Does that make me sucha terrible person for thinking that? Not that I didn't want her to do it. It's her right as a mother but I would have been much happier if she would of waited one more second for me to walk away first.

Everyone has a right to feel uncomfortable. They don't have a right to tell the Mother to stop feeding her child there. That is why there are laws protecting NIP. I would think that a business that caters to Moms and young children would have known this.

 

[mom2rtk]

That is what I was agreeing with. If you are doing it in a discreet fashion, it shouldn't be a problem. I can't believe people have a problem with this. I was under the impression that people were only having a problem with women doing this indiscreetly(just whipping out a breast). This hasn't been making our news so I was a little in the dark here.

I think you're having an argument with a straw man. The thread's been going on for a while, but I don't remember anyone here arguing with someone breastfeeding in a discreet fashion.

 

[IndyRnRfan]

I think you're having an argument with a straw man. The thread's been going on for a while, but I don't remember anyone here arguing with someone breastfeeding in a discreet fashion.

I should have read all the posts first. I got about 3-4 pages in and had to stop reading all the stupid arguments and twisting of each others posts. Discreetly breastfeeding is fine and should be acceptable, not being so discreet well, then we have to define discreet which I believe someone else mentioned. This is a never ending discussion but hopefully an acceptable resolution comes about soon.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I think that in Canada and most US states, a resolution has been made: women are legally entitled to breastfeed (discreetly or not) wherever they and their babies are legally permitted to go. Pretty much solves it for me. In Ontario, the Human Rights Commission has specifically stated that women can't be told to cover up, breastfeed more discreetly or move to another place such as a rest room.

 

[IndyRnRfan]

The comfort of others shouldn't be what determines what you do, because you can't please everyone. Before you start eating a steak in a restaurant, do you ask the people at the other tables if any of them are vegetarian and will be bothered by seeing you eat a piece of a dead cow?

I see your point, but a vegetarian eating at a steak restaurant should expect to see people eating steak. If they don't want to see that, they shouldn't be at that restaurant. I don't care if you are breastfeeding in public, it should just be done in a manner that isn't offensive and this is the debateable part. What is offensive to some is not to others. As another poster said, there is no reason to have 2 breasts hanging out in the open in public. Cover them up.

 

[IndyRnRfan]

I think that in Canada and most US states, a resolution has been made: women are legally entitled to breastfeed (discreetly or not) wherever they and their babies are legally permitted to go. Pretty much solves it for me. In Ontario, the Human Rights Commission has specifically stated that women can't be told to cover up, breastfeed more discreetly or move to another place such as a rest room.

If that is the case, then there is no need for further discussion. I didn't realize this was true but if it is then the problem is solved.

 

[bcla]

Everyone has a right to feel uncomfortable. They don't have a right to tell the Mother to stop feeding her child there. That is why there are laws protecting NIP. I would think that a business that caters to Moms and young children would have known this.

If people feel uncomfortable, that's their business. How they handle it in public settings is everyone's business. In a service industry one generally needs to treat all comers fairly. Some people feel uncomfortable around dogs, but customers have a legal right to have trained service dogs.

I know there are a few things I see in public that make me uncomfortable. My wishing that I didn't have to see or notice those things doesn't necessarily carry any weight with whether or not I see those things.