kelscross' journey (comments welcome)

[kelscross]

Okay...now I'm really getting discouraged. What is the point of walking your butt off pouring with sweat everyday and then turning around and riding at least a mile a day on a bike every evening? It's just causing me to gain! I eat much less than I used to and I am so much more active but it's getting me nowhere.

It's getting harder to stay with this when for two weeks in a row I saw no change and even a weight gain!!!!

For all it's worth here's my measurements.

B: 44
W: 40.5 (.5 loss)
H: 48
A: 14
T: 24 (1.0 loss)

(Total 3.5 inches lost)

I know I'm a big measurement freak and have said over and over again as long as your losing inches...but I'm really starting to feel all this exercise isn't worth anything. You work your butt off (and believe me I really don't enjoy a second of it) and IF you get results it's minimal.

I'm so depressed.

 

[DisneyEnthusiastic]

Oh Kellee...I'm so sorry to hear you've gained. You are doing so great! Please don't get discouraged. I hope you really can start getting that water in...it really helps to flush your system. When you workout your body is storing the fat because you're not getting enough water. I'm not an expert on this...but I know what I've read and you really need water. Please up that water intake and I bet you will see massive results next week!!

Turn that frown upside down

Gail

 

[Princess Michelle]

Awe, Kellee,

I echo everything that Gail aready said.

One thing you said that might be worth taking a look at is that you eat a lot less than you used to. How much less? Is it possible that you aren't putting enough calories in your body? You need so many just to live every day and if your body doesn't get enough it will hold on to whatever you give it and you will not lose. Sometimes it's a struggle to make sure I get even 1,200 calories a day, stuff doesn't add up as quickly as you would think but I know I have to have at least that many calories a day, anything less is too little. You also have to be careful where the calories are coming from, if you are getting too many fat calories it's going to hinder your results. I don't know if this is the case or not, just something to look at if it might be.

Please don't get discouraged, if you keep it up you may just wake up one Friday and see 3-4 pounds gone at one time! You are still losing inches and that is awesome.

I truly do understand the disappointment of the scale but I am trying to keep in my mind that the scale doesn't know what it's weighing. It doesn't know if it's weighing bones, muscles, fat, it has no clue. It is possible that you are building muscle and we all know it weighs the most! I so fear getting on the scale tomorrow and seeing a gain because I've tried so hard this week. We just have to keep chugging along, we will make it eventually.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

For what it is worth, Kellee, I think you did absolutely fantastic this week! I wouldn't worry about that stupid scale anyway. You have lost inches and I think that tells a lot more than a scale anyway. More importantly than the weight loss though is your health. As long as you are watching what you eat and exercising you are doing something much more important than losing weight. You are maintaining your health. That is more important in the long run. My guess is that you either are gaining muscle or you are on a plateau w/ the scale. Either way, don't give up or despair. Like Michelle said, keep doing like you have been doing and one week at weigh in the weight will seem like it suddenly dropped overnight. And I also agree w/Gail about the water. I love the idea of filling up a pitcher w/64 oz. I remember from nursing school everything that Gail was saying about the water earlier. It really can affect how rapidly and how much you lose. Here's to a great weigh in next week!

 

[kelscross]

Thanks guys! Sorry I didn't post to anyone today, I have to get over feeling sorry for myself. I did read them all though. You all did a great job and Michelle I hope your weigh in goes well tomorrow.

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Kellee,
Sending your way today. Please do not give up! You are losing inches, exercising, and making healthier food choices. That is wonderful! The scale will cooperate.... just hang in there!

Take good care of you Kellee and have a weekend!

Tracy

 

[Princess Michelle]

Are you doing okay, Kellee? We miss you! ::

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Michelle had the same idea as me...I just wanted to check and see if you are okay. I hope you are not too discouraged. The WISH boards just wouldn't be the same w/o you. I know we've never met...but I consider you a good friend nonetheless. If you need anything, feel free to PM me or e-mail me. Can't wait to hear from you soon!

 

[kelscross]

Sorry to disappear on you guys. This weekend was so busy I didn't have time to do much of anything.

I had a HUGE pharmacology final exam this morning so I spent literally all weekend day and night studying for it. I think I did very well though I find out Wednesday.

Friday night their daddy called and said he was coming down to have the girls ready at 7am he couldn't stay long, he had a meeting with someone here in Dayton. Well...he didn't show up until 12:30 pm!! Mariah waited for him all morning. She would go to the door and look practically every five minutes. I tried to call and he wasn't answering his cell. So at 11am we went to the grocery but she started crying saying "he didn't even come for my birthday" that was tough to deal with. From now on I'm not even going to tell them so they won't get disappointed.

We were at the store and he calls on my cell asking where we were! The nerve! I told him that we would be home when we finished shopping. When we did arrive home, he came shortly after and stayed a whopping 30 minutes. He hasn't seen the kids in 2 1/2 months and he spends a whole 30 mins with them, gee wiz. She didn't care though as long as she got a birthday present! ha! He got her the princess boom box. The one at Sears that is pink and the buttons are purple shaped like Mickey Mouse. She loves it!

My dad came in Sunday morning (after I stayed up until 4:30am studying) and then I studied all day long. We had her party today. She got lots of barbies and Kim Possible stuff. The only problem at the party was my other DD (almost 3) was puking the entire time! I don't know what got into her but she's better now.

And that's it ...whew...a busy weekend. I haven't gotten caught up on all the posts yet. I'll do that tomorrow evening when I get home from work.

Thanks for looking out for me though!! Night all!!

 

[DisneyEnthusiastic]

I think that we all had the same idea. I kept checking to see if you posted anything. I'm glad to hear you are okay.

That stinks about your ex. I think it makes an us madder than the kids. They don't hold a grudge very long...and a nice present sure does sweeten the deal. I also agree that you shouldn't tell them in advance. I do that a lot w/ my mother in law. She says shes coming by to see the kids and usually doesn't show or is extremely late which then usually messes up other plans. Best not to tell them...I hate seeing them disappointed. At least she had a good party...sorry about your youngest though. Is she feeling better now?

It sounds like you've been super busy! My fingers are crossed for your test results!! Good luck! And it was so great hearing from you! I was really beginning to worry!

Gail

 

[toystoryduo]

Wow Kellee!

You have been super busy lately! I hope that this week proves to be a relaxing one for you.

I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your ex, but I am glad that he bought your DD a present that she loves! to your DD!

How is your other DD feeling? I hope that she is feeing much better today.

Have a great week this week!

Tracy

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Hi, Kellee! I am so glad you are doing okay. And believe me, I can understand why you wouldn't want to tell your girls next time your ex says he will show. My dad used to pull the same stunt all of the time on my younger brother. My mom finally decided to stop telling him when my dad was supposed to come. She decided it would be easier on him and if my dad did show then it would be a nice surprise for my brother. And you know what?! Nine out of 10 times my dad never showed. I am sorry your girls are going through that. My brother was only about 2 when my dad walked out and he doesn't think of him as his real dad. He considers my stepdad his dad. (My brother is almost 15 now.) So, don't worry...Gail is right. They will learn to get over him. It will be much easier on them since they are still really little. I was 12 when my dad left and it was harder for me to forgive him and get over it than it was for my brother. So, anyway, happy b-day to your little angel. Sorry her dad nearly ruined it for her! Hope you have a good week and I am keeping my fingers crossed that your next weigh in will make up for your last 2. Good luck this week!

 

[kelscross]

Thanks guys for understanding. I'm trying to get caught up on all of your posts. I want to really read them all and see how you are doing.

I'm not doing so well as far as diet/exercise go. I'm not really on any kind of plan anymore. Just floundering around, hoping that scale doesn't inch up again. I know if I don't do something then it will inch up more than it has. I might have to drop out of the Labor Day challenge because I know there is probably no way that I can lose those 10 pounds before then.

I've just gotten off schedule and off motivation and I'd really like to get back on!

I will post in your posts tomorrow. I just want to be able to read everything.

Have a good day tomorrow!

 

[Princess Michelle]

Kellee, I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time right now. Is there anything we can do to help you?

 

[KLH 1973]

Sorry to hear your having a hard time...just remember that muscle weighs more than fat and if your working out that hard you might be getting some new musles.

Also my dr. told me that if you don't eat enough your body will hord your fat thinking your starving...

just a thought

Kristin

 

[kelscross]

Thanks guys again! You all are really a strong support! Now...Michelle here's what I need....I need you guys to come over and a couple of you pull from the front and a couple push my behind and get my lazy butt up!!! ha!

Seriously not making excuses here, because there is no excuse, but my schedule has changed dramatically. Those first few weeks I was able to exercise every day and really consciously eat well because I worked less hours and had time between dropping the girls off at school and then going to work. That's when I did most of my planning and exercising.

I've lost that "free" time and I have found it nearly impossible to really get a good work out in with having two toddlers running around. Yes we play outside together but it's not the same.

I really have to sit down and plan and go to the store. I haven't had a chance to do that. See, I can not take my children to the grocery for two reasons...1. They can not both fit in the cart with the groceries and I wouldn't dare let them run amuck in the store. 2. For some reason my children act their worst in the grocery, walmart they're fine, the mall, they're fine...you get them in Kroger's and they turn into these demon children. I have to get a babysitter to go to the store and my family has been involved with other things to help with that lately.

I also am going to talk to my doctor. He put me on Wellbutrin to help me quit smoking and to lessen the stress, anxiety of school and stuff. Well it's not working at all. I feel no different than before and It's been several months that I've been on it. I have found that I am still as high strung as before. My stress levels have gotten to the point of having heart palpitations. I'm not sure if I'll talk to him about that because he will not do anything for me because I still smoke. I'm sure the smoking is not helping the situation, but this man is a little extreme about it. He thinks EVERYTHING is caused by smoking...even an ear infection

So that's where I'm at. Please don't think I'm a psycho now. I just wanted to own up to my feelings. Now the embarrassing part is to call the doctor and ask him to put me on something else or something in combination with the Wellbutrin because I feel like I am psycho at times!

 

[DisneyEnthusiastic]

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a rough time. It's hard enough being a single parent to two toddlers, but then to quit smoking and trying to lose weight...plus work and school! You have so much on your plate right now. My grocery store now has those little cars attached to the cart..so it looks like the kids are driving. Maybe you should make the suggestion to your local grocery store.

From what I understand, it is very hard to do both...quit smoking and diet at the same time.

And you are not psycho! You are going through a very rough time.

Whatever you decide to do, we are here for you. Maybe you should take it slow...just keep an eye on what you are eating and then fit in the exercise when you can. You seem to keep pretty active with the children.

You are such a strong woman to be taking on so much.

Gail

 

[kelscross]

Gail you are right. It is nearly impossible to quit smoking and diet at the same time. My doctor says that the Wellbutrin helps with that letting you get control of your craving without eating and gaining weight.

He did say that in combination with the patch or gum that I would have a greater success rate. I don't agree with that. Sure I'll stop the urge to pick up a cigarette, but the nicotine addiction will still be there.

So I thought I'd chose losing the weight first. After all, that bothers me more than the smoking does. So then my OB/GYN says if I'm still smoking come September then he will not write out another prescription of BC pills because I will be 32 and smoking.

I think my best bet right now is to watch the fast food and snacks. And make a conscious effort to have some type of work out every day.

I also found out my final grade in class. I didn't make it to the A. I got an A on the final but it wasn't a high enough A to bring the grade all the way up. I got an 88B. Acceptable I guess.

Have a good day everyone!

 

[DoeWDW]

Kellee, you are an inspiration to me! I know things are really tough for you - you've got so much going on in your life - but you're still trying to be healthier. As long as you're still trying, I think you're doing just fine!

Please give yourself some credit for all the amazing things you do - raise your girls, spend time playing with them, work, go to school, study, try to fit in healthier eating and even some exercise, etc. etc. etc. You are a strong woman, Kellee!

I want to remind you of something - this healthy living thing is not an "all or nothing" deal. If you've got a lot going on, then scale back your expectations. You may not eat on plan at every meal, but maybe you can manage one healthy meal a day. Most smokers smoke at certain specific times during the day - maybe you can find a way to give up just one of those cigarettes. Baby steps, Kellee, will take you where you need to go.

I'm throwing a WISH party on the health living road today - would a party help improve your mood?? We've got the music cranked up and we're dancing (that counts as exercise! ). We're all smiling and laughing and hanging out with our WISH friends - can you feel the party atmosphere??

"Celebrate good times, come on!!"

 

[kelscross]

Doe..thank you so much for the party! Better than the pity party that I've been on.

Today is laundry day so I've been lugging up three flights of stairs. And I also vaccumed my front stairs. I guess that counts as exercise tonight right? I hope so cause I sure am tired!

I can't believe that I've been so down that I didn't realize that I've passed the 30 day mark until my trip to WDW!!!

I hope you guys had a great day!