kelscross' journey (comments welcome)

[kelscross]

Well here I go again. Another weight loss attempt. This time I hope to find something that I can stick to. My problem sticking to diets is I am usually hungry and miserable so I quit.

Let me tell you about myself...

I am 32 years old, struggled with weight since puberty.

5'4" 210 pounds.

I am a nursing student which makes it very difficult to get any meals in much less healthy ones. Fast food was my mainstay last quarter and it shows. After my second child I ballooned to 250 pounds. I lost 30 after the divorce, didn't try just fell off. I went on WW for three months and lost another 20 pounds. I quit WW because I couldn't afford the fee anymore and I was starving every day and just plain miserable. So that brings me to today...again the fast food on the way to school put on 10 pounds this quarter.

I am also a single mother of two little girls 2 and 3 years old. I used to work full time and go to school, but God has blessed me and things have fallen into place where I can afford to work part time, go to school, and raise my girls. Not to say money isn't tight from time to time, but I budget well. We were even able to plan another WDW vacation this year thanks to Uncle Sam.

My ultimate goal is to weigh 130 pounds. I would be satisfied at 145 or 150. My short term goal is to be under 200 pounds. I have joined the Labor Day challenge to try to lose those 10 pounds before our trip.

I have started the meal plan on slimfast.com. It's not drinking shakes all day like before. They plan your meals with some shakes, meal bars etc, and then real food. So far so good, except I was starving yesterday evening so I had to break down and get a snack.

The reason I am overweight is I am LAZY...I hate exercise in any form so it will be a real struggle to make myself move my body every day or 3 days a week for that matter.

I love food, fast food. I don't eat when I'm sad or bored or anything I just like food.

My schedule is really screwy which makes it difficult to eat real healthy sometimes. Thanks to the fast food restaurants who are trying to add healthier items to their menus.

I hate vegetables so that makes it difficult as well. I like most raw but it gets old after a few days. I despise them cooked. Yes, I've tried them but I literally gag on them if they are cooked.

I better go check on the kiddies. I've already done my workout for the day while they were at preschool. I'm trying to drink lots of water also.

 

[Forever42]

You sound like me - I have such a hard time getting healthy meals in when I'm at school all day and sometimes at night. I try to cook on the weekends but I get tired of leftovers by Tuesday or Wednesday.

Don't forget that snacking isn't evil!

One thing that I know I should do regarding exercise is to find something to do that's active, but doesn't seem like exercise. And once you get started with any kind of exercise, you'll get to like it - or, at least, not hate it.

Good luck!

 

[Princess Michelle]

Hi kelscross! We have really similar weightloss goals. I too am looking forward to being under 200 for a start and then I'm looking to the 120-150 range for long term.

It sounds like you're on the right track. Keeping the journal here really does help. Good luck to you!

 

[kelscross]

I didn't do so well on the water today. I only got in 32 oz. It's not that I don't like water it just that I don't drink much of anything even before I started this. I usually only drink during meal times.

I'm glad I did my power yoga today. I woke up with my back killing me (first sign that I'm starting to tip the scales too much) and it feels much better after I did the yoga. Still a bit sore but at least I can move. I'm going to try to get the gumption up to get up 1/2 hour early in the morning before class and do the power yoga. In addition to that we went swimming at my aunts this evening for two hours.

I did okay on the food intake. Although I did not follow the "plan" exactly this evening for dinner. I had left over KFC in the fridge that needed to be eaten so that's what we had. I only ate half of what I usually eat though. I did stick to my guns this evening, my aunt went for Mcdonalds for the kids and I turned it down, but boy those fries looked awful good. I have to admit I did eat three french fries.

I'm going to put my measurements down. Sometimes it's not all about losing the pounds but losing the inches as well.

Bust: 44
Waist: 41 1/2
Hips: 49 1/2
Arms: 14
Thigh: 25

Now I can compare each week to see how I'm doing. So that's it for today. I'm going to go study pharmacology.

 

[DisneyEnthusiastic]

Good Luck with your journey Kelscross! Your goals sound a lot like mine!

I'm getting my journal together today.

Again...good luck with the journal...it looks like there is so much support on the WISH boards!

Gail

 

[DoeWDW]

Kelscross, welcome to the WISH Journal board!

You're doing great, in spite of your busy life! How do you do it with two little ones??? How many months are between your girls? I had my 2 kids 18 months apart. It was tough until the youngest turned 3 and then things got a lot easier.

If you get hungry and need a snack, try to make it something with some protein in it. Peanuts make a great snack, or string cheese. A snack of all carbs can sometimes make you MORE hungry half an hour after you eat it.

Best wishes on your healthy living journey!!

 

[Princess Michelle]

It sounds to me like you did really well! 32oz. is a great start in the water dept. if you aren't used to drinking anything outside of meals. Just try to drink a little more each day. I find that if I always have it in front of me it's easier to drink it.

Good job getting that exercise in and thinking of ways to incorporate it into your schedule!

I think you showed amazing strength only eating 3 french fries, gosh, I don't know if I could have done that! Good job!

 

[kelscross]

The day is almost over and I think I did pretty well. I think I hit the water mark. I stopped counting actually. Since I do not drink anything between meals hardly (I've really tried, it almost makes me sick to do it) I found an easier way for me to get in the water. Before each meal I drink an 8 oz glass of water and then after the meal I drink another 8 oz glass of water. That seemed to work for me today. Except I can't stay out of the bathroom now! HA!

The diet went a little better today. I wasn't as hungry as yesterday. I just had my evening snack. My dinner was huge but on the "plan" it was a hamburger pattie on a wheat bun a HUGE salad of spinach and red cabbage with fat free dressing, and mandarin oranges topped with fat free cool whip and milk for dessert. I was stuffed and I didn't even eat the whole salad. I mean it called for a huge one 2 cups of spinach and 1/8 of a head of cabbage!

I did the power yoga again today but I didn't get up early to do it. I have the hardest time getting up anyhow (extremely low blood sugar) some mornings that it just wasn't happening this morning. I did it after class before I had to go get the girls from school. I'm going to try tae bo tomorrow if my back is better.

DoeWDW: My girls are 13 months apart. I think it is much harder now than when they were babies. The older one was so easy to take care of so it wasn't hard to take care of them both. But now they are both toddlers they fight CONSTANTLY and at any given time one of them is throwing a fit of some sort. That drives me nuts!

Speaking of which...I think I hear them fighting again. Gotta go break them up and get them ready for bed! Thanks for the encouragement guys.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Hi! First of all, thanks for the encouragement in my journal. Anyway, I used to be a nursing student too. I only did it for one semester because I realized it wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I can completely relate about eating a lot of fast food b/c of it though. I had classes all day, then clinicals, and even a night class once a week. I lived on fast food. I am addicted to it as a result. I am trying really hard to break that addiction. It sounds like you have done really well considering all of your responsibilities. Your girls will be really proud of you...especially when they are old enough to know that mommy used to weigh more but lost it by making better decisions. Just think! You are a positive role model!
Good luck! I will be here for support if you need me.

 

[kelscross]

Thanks Tasha for the well wishes!!

Today I got to do the Tae Bo as my back was feeling much better. I had to stop sometimes and I couldn't kick my legs very high but I did it anyhow.

I broke down and had McDonalds for lunch today but that didn't put me off track. I knew I wouldn't get in the last two snacks and dinner because I had to work and we hardly get a break in much less a meal. So I think I'm okay on the calories today. I might have went over a bit in fat grams but I've been doing so well this week I don't think it will kill me.

I also worked my butt of today at work. I am an STNA and we didn't sit down the entire shift, I feel like I walked a mile up and down those hallways. Plus lifting and turning and changing and showering (I could go on and on ha!) people really make me sweat like crazy.

I'm kinda down today. My ex husband is getting on my nerves. I try to stay civil and friendly for the kids' sake. Sometimes I wish he would just disappear out of our lives completely and stay gone. I hate this show up for a week and then disappear for four month routine he plays. I'm the one left answering all the questions when the girls want to know where their Daddy is. In three weeks it will be Mariah's (the older of the two babies) birthday. I called him to make sure that he didn't plan anything for that weekend. He is self employed so you have to tell him advance or he wil work instead. He says "I can't commit to that". You can't commit to that??? It's your daughter's birthday you big jerk!!!!!!!!

It also bothers me that when we got divorced that he said he made 25,000 a year so they figured the child support at the bare minimum. He admitted to me yesterday that he pays himself 6,000 per month in salary from his business. 6,000 per month!!!!!!! He should be paying like 1200 per month for childsupport with that income. However, he gets away with the measley 400.00 per month. So I ask him if he could send 60.00 to the girls so I can take them to see Dora the Explorer Live. He says no. I might have to give CSEA a call then.

Well that's it for now. I have to clean the girls' room tonight. It's much easier when they are gone (they are with my grandma) and I need to study for a quiz tomorrow. Nite all.

 

[Princess Michelle]

Hey! Good job doing that Tae Bo! I used to have some of those tapes and they are a workout and a half! A lot of fun though. I will be glad when my back is better so I can get back to my normal routine. The videos I have, have some of the kick boxing moves in them that I just can't do right now because it bothers my lower back.

I wouldn't feel too bad about the McDonald's. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do and fast food is not evil. We just have to keep it in moderation and watch the portions of what we order. That stinks that you couldn't get anything while you were at work though they should make an effort to give you guys some kind of break while you're there!

I'm sorry about the problems with the ex. That frustration would have sent me right over the edge since I tend to comfort myself with things that taste good (working really hard on that). You handled it great though. I hope things get better for you in this situation.

Have a great day!

 

[kelscross]

Today was a good day, not a good dieting day, but a good day in general. I got switched to day shift at my work until I leave to go work in the scholarship program at the hospital. I went to class and scored a 100% on a pharmacology quiz! It was the cardiac function and drugs and that is not easy to keep straight so I'm pretty proud of myself.

My grandmother, cousin and her kids, and my girls went out to eat...uh..oh...here's the kicker....they chose the Golden Corrall!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not a buffett!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't choose all healthy things but I DID choose in moderation. I had small servings of what I usually get and I chose only one dessert instead of three like usual. So I guess I didn't completely blow it.

I didn't get any exercise today except mall walking this evening so I guess it's okay.

I posted my weekly weigh in on the Labor Day challenge board....2.5 pounds lost this week!!! whohooo! only 7.5 pounds to go and I'm in Onederland!!!!!!

I bought myself a pair of sketchers flip flops that were on sale at Sears to celebrate my success so far! I wanted a pair of pajamas but I'm not buying any more clothes for myself.

Well...that's it...I'm off to bed! Wish me luck for the weekend, this is my weak time of the week!

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Wow! I am sooo proud of you! I can't wait to be that close to Onederland! I think you are doing really well w/everything. You have a busy life so if you break your diet once in a while don't get discouraged. Just remember tomorrow is a fresh start. I don't know how you managed Golden Corral! We don't have a Golden Corral here anymore. It closed down. But I went to Florida (my family lives there) several times in the last 2 months and ate Golden Corral several times. Buffet's are now an enemy for me. I am glad to hear you were able to eat in moderation.
BTW, I read your post about your ex. UGH! He sounds like my dad. Except when my mom used to ask him for money he would say, sure, I'll get it to you next week. Then, something would, of course happen. He would feel just terrible. (NOT! ) He just couldn't come up w/it. Funny how he always managed to come up w/money for new things for himself. But anyway, I am now grown and married. One of my brothers is turning 21 in 2 weeks. I have a 14 yr. old brother who is deaf and goes to speech, etc. My dad doesn't pay for him. I also have 2 half-sisters that are about to turn 9 and 7 from my dad's 2nd marriage. He doesn't pay child support for them either. He is on his 3rd wife and thankfully she is smart enough to not have any more kids. She already has a 19 yr. old from a previous marriage. Sorry I am rambling. I just feel for you and your girls. I am glad they have you to care enough about their well-being since their father is obviously no better than my own. Anyway, I hope you continue to do well! I give you 5 sunnies!

 

[kelscross]

Hey Tasha thanks for the sunnies makes me feel good after the guilts I had last night eating at the buffet.

I forgot to put my weekly measurements down yesterday. I was so excited about losing the 2.5 pounds that I didn't check. Here goes:

B: 44
W: 41 1/2
H: 48 (1.5 loss!)
T: 24.5 (.5 loss!)
A: 14

Total inches lost this week: 2.0!

 

[Princess Michelle]

Good job on losing 2.5 pounds and 2 inches! I'm so happy for you! I give you 5 golden sunnies too!!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hello and welcome to WISH journaling!

I read through your journal and it seems that we are on similar journies... I am 28 years old with two girls (almost 2 and 3 years old), I am 5'5" and currently weight 208, and we are both from Ohio! It's a small world after all....

Congratulations on your weight loss! That is wonderful!! Keep up the good work and you WILL meet your goals!

I am sending you a PM.....

Have a great Sunday!
Tracy

 

[Mr.BsMom]

Keep it up - you're doing great!

 

[kelscross]

I knew weekends were going to be tough with me but I have been like Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde.

This week I did so well, followed my plan to the T (for the most part) drank as much water as I could. Exercised every day.

Then....Friday rolls around and I'm an eating machine. I have binge eaten all weekend, didn't exercise a bit and I don't think I drank one glass of water all weekend. I know it's no excuse but my family likes to eat out all weekend and that is my weak point. Friday it's Golden Corrall, at least I tried in moderation, still a Nono. Then it was McDonald's on Saturday (and not a salad mind you) then tonight it was Olive Garden. When I go to restaurants I don't want to order on the light side of the menu!!

I'm so ashamed of what I ate this weekend, I can't even list it all. I'm sure I gained back the 2.5 pounds I lost this week.

So go ahead give me a ZERO sunny day for the ENTIRE weekend.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Sorry...I couldn't give anyone zero sunnies. How terrible would that be to your support system?! Besides, I truly think you don't deserve 0 sunnies. I would give you at least 4. I know, you probably think that is crazy but I have good reasons for it. See, my reasoning is this...you are new to the dieting and you will have setbacks from time to time. We all will. Especially on the weekend and especially when you have 2 little kids and especially when you have family that likes to eat out. Trust me. I can totally relate. The hardest part for me is going out to eat...especially with family at a buffet. And Olive Garden is another weakness b/c I love Italian food. (Must be the Italian in me. ) The closest Olive Garden to us is in Memphis, TN. (about 2 1/2 hrs. away). So we don't eat there often. But they are building one 15 min. from our house...so temptation city here I come! So anyway, you are getting 4 golden sunnies from me, like it or not! Remember, tomorrow's a fresh start. Good luck!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi there!
Weekends can be tough on our diets can't they? I know that although Saturday was an OP day for me, Sunday was a disaster. I had a major, major binge. However...

Today is a brand new day! We'll just pull ourselves up and get back on the wagon.

I hope today is a day for you! Have a good one!

Tracy