Just getting this off my chest

[helenabear]

I am sure I will make a ton of people unhappy with what I am about to say, but those who know anything about me know that I try to never cause trouble nor do I say anything intentionally that would upset someone. I just need to get this off my chest. With that said, I don’t understand what goes on here on the CB sometimes. I understand that people will disagree with each other. After all if we all agreed on everything then the world would be one boring place. I enjoy seeing the difference of opinions here. I can’t say anyone has changed my mind about my core values, but let me say on occasion you all get me thinking and that’s a good thing.

What I don’t understand though is why some people feel the need to put out their opinion, in such a disrespectful and hurtful manner, and make others feel that their thoughts are pointless and useless. There are so many harsh tones here and it really saddens me. As I said I don’t expect us all to agree with each other on everything, and I personally don’t want to see it, but can’t people express opinions without attacking, being harsh, rude, inconsiderate, insensitive, and basically uncaring? I know I don’t always agree with my friends and we can nicely state our beliefs and then go on with it.

I’ve been here a long time and I must admit I watch a lot more than I post (imagine that if you will) and I hate what I see sometimes. I am not saying that we can’t disagree, but if you can’t say something in a constructive way then don’t say it! I will admit that there are times where I wanted to say things that weren’t nice, but I learned a long time ago that if I don’t have something nice to say then to shut up. I just am so saddened by a lot of what goes on here. I really don’t want to leave as I have so many good friends here now, but sometimes it is hard to see the comments that people say to each other. So I guess I am just asking for everyone to think before you post because with words, you have the power to hurt people more than you ever could believe.

It just breaks my heart when I see so much hurting going on... stepping off my soapbox now and waiting for the flames… I am sure I deserve them.

 

[SeaShelley]

No flames, just hugs.....please try to not let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch! (Wish I had an audio of the Osmond Brothers to insert here!!)

 

[tc]

Here, here! Well said.

 

[dizneenut]

Nicely said, Elaine. I agree with you. I come here to laugh and have a good time and escape the stress of real life. It saddens me to see everyone at each other's throats. Its fine to disagree, but don't put people down for having a different opinion than yours.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

 

[JerseyJanice]

I'm very sorry to see you unhappy, HB, and I truly hope you don't leave the CB. We need nice posters like you around.

The whole issue here is that it's not what people say, it's how they say it. If certain individuals would "get" that, they wouldn't need to whine about how they get picked on all the time.

But then again, I am convinced there are a handful--and only a small handful--of posters who come here mainly because they thrive on *******.
One can only hope for their own sakes that they run their real lives a little better.

 

[Steve H.]

No flames from me either -- no need for them.

I think you make a lot of good points and hopefully people will take some advice from what you say.

 

[Serena]

No flames from me either.
We all need to remember too, that some of us are under more stress than others at any given time. We need to give a little slack if someone does lose their temper and not retaliate.

Most of us know this comes and goes and we'll get through this wave too.

Luckily I wasn't involved in this one, but I have been in others. We do get over it.

 

[CRB#33]

{{hugs}}

You are such a nice person! A pleasure to know.

I certainly hope no one would even think to flame you for asking for respect and niceness on the boards. I think they are qualities we all should strive for. I'm well aware, I fall short of these sometimes. Thank you for the eyeopener.

 

[PhotobearSam]

No flames...just hugs

I know what you mean. Maybe it is easier to hurt someone that you don't see their face but I always remember that there is a person under that Dis name and I think "If that person was really here in front of me...Would I say that?" It helps to think that way.

Now everyone play nice

 

[Claudia1]

Well said, helenabear, well said!

The strife pains me also and I have stopped posting & responding to many threads that I read because of it. I don't want to instigate an insult.

Thanks for your thoughtful, heartfelt post!

 

[Poohbear123]

Yes, I agree with you Helenabear and Photobear Sam. As you see, I do not post too much, and when I do, its usually "Fluff" stuff, like my (stye) for example. I really DO NOT want to get "into it" with others, especially the way I feel about certain subjects! I keep it ALL to myself.

 

[JAP]

{{{{{{{{HUGS/HUGS/HUGS}}}}}}}}}

Elaine you and Luis and two of the finest people I have met. You deserve NO FLAMES and stated your opinion very well. I could not have said it all better myself and feel the SAME WAY.

HERE IS TO A BETTER DAY ON THE DIS!!!!

I hope everyone is feeling better and remember THE WRITTEN WORD CAN SEEM A LOT MORE HARSH THAN WHAT WAS INTENDED.

FYI I have no idea what took place last night, but I get the feeling lots of people have been hurt.

Jen

 

[Robinrs]

Elaine,

I remember when my son's day care teacher told me that it's been her experience that MOST people don't care how others feel about how they act. I found that very hard to believe but it seems to be true.

I step out of my realm of reality and realize that not everyone cares how they hurt other people. It's more important for them to be RIGHT.

My boss once told me something that changed my life....If it feels better to SAY it than it will be to the person who HEARS it, don't say it.

That used to be my FAVORITE thing to do, to be proud of getting the oneuppance, that last word, but as I've grown up I realize that it's more important to maintain peace.

It's been HARD, especially for a big mouth like me, but it has definitely been a maturing experience for me.

I've learned this from my Dad and my son, who would rather die than hurt a soul.

I'm still learning. And still amazed and how many people just don't care under the guise of so called "intelligence".

 

[honeywolf7]

I completely agree, HB.

 

[Disney Doll]

No flames from me helenabear. I happen to agree with you 100%. I don't think anyone feels that people don't have the right to state their opinions...different opinions make the world an interesting place. The sarcasm, insults, and demeaning tones etc are what upset me. I try to refrain from posting in that nasty manner (not saying I always succeed but I do try!) while still trying to make my thoughts known.

It seems to me that those who tend to post sarcastically etc are the same ones who cry "foul" when their sarcasm and nastiness is met with anger.

Respect is the key. If you don't have it for others, don't expect it from others.

I will join you in donning my flame-retardent suit, as I am sure the flame-throwers will be arriving shortly !

 

[EROS]

Very nice post, Helenabear. I respect your views. However, to reiterate my thoughts on a different thread, I have little sympathy for anyone around here who calls fellow members EVIL . Hitler did the same thing with the Jews of Germany. It's an old trick of the ruthless and intolerant. We saw the same behavior directed at all of us on Sept 11,2001 .........

 

[caitycaity]

i agree hb, with a lot of what you said.

i also agree with eros, that i really don't think i would classify any member that i have seen post regularly on the dis as "evil." evil is a pretty strong word.

 

[Beanie]

No flames from me, Elaine....I will just fling greenies at you instead!

Seriously, I agree with everything you said...I like posting on the CB and have made some wonderful friends through it!!

Hugs!!

 

[Teejay32]

oh put a sock in it Eros. This time, please. Robinrs has more reason than a lot of us do to feel the way she does, let's just not bring world history events into it.

If she said something wrong, she can apologize. Put down the sword.

 

[ratsrule]