Joint Custody and getting a passport?

[maslex]

Here's a little backstory....

SIL has a son from a previous marriage (son is now 14). ExDH hasn't seen him in YEARS and I mean YEARS. Hasn't paid but $12 in child support since he left (when child was about 3-4) Thing is.....in the divorce, they got joint custody. She does not know where he is now


Fast foward to today SIL, new husband (been married 6 yrs now) and said child are supposed to take a cruise with us this summer. They went to go get their passports today and was told that they couldn't do it because the biological father needs to give permission for her to take him out of the country. How can he sign anything if nobody knows where he is and even if they did find him, he is the type of person who would NEVER sign anything like that, in spite.

Is there anyway around this? Probably not, I'm sure. But we're all just confused here. They already have already put the deposit down (and I THINK put their tax return on the rest of it to pay it off) .

Does anyone know what they can do?

 

[tazdev3225]

I would talk to a lawyer and see if they can get a modified custody. They would best be able to advise her.

 

[taylor1293]

I agree with the other poster, consult an attorney.

Also, you don't a passport to cruise if you are leaving from the US and returning to the US.

 

[Disneycrazy!!]

contact a lawyer, they will have to go to court to have custody changed. they will have to prove abandonment and go thru the legal steps. It may not happen before their cruise but at least if anything else comes up the father can't have a say anymore.

 

[kbeverina]

I agree that they're going to have to see an attorney. Even if the cruise is close-looped, and a passport isn't required, I'm guessing the son doesn't have the same last name? That could cause a problem with him boarding if he doesn't have a notarized letter from his father allowing him to go.

 

[pyrxtc]

I've never had a problem getting thru the border with my daughter who doesn't have the same last name as the rest of us. yes, we just had to show a BC last time but still no problem.

To get permission, you will have to prove that you tried to contact said father. you will have to post in the paper who you are looking for and why and try to contact any known family members to find father to get permission. You then have to prove that he is not responding and cannot be found and change custody, then you can get the passport on your say so alone.

 

[Imzadi]

I agree with the other poster, consult an attorney.

Also, you don't need a passport to cruise if you are leaving from the US and returning to the US.

I think that law has since been changed. It was something like, you don't need one to LEAVE to go on a cruise. But, U.S. custom will ask for one upon returning. That's when you'd be up a creek if you didn't bring one with you. Also, some ports on a trip are international, so that's when there is a problem of those ships traveling from there to the U.S. as they may have picked up new people who then have to prove they are U.S. citizens.

 

[Donnainnj]

I thought the rule was changed to. I knew it was due to, but it hasn't. Cruising closed loop, US is the only exception it seems. After all those dates it was due to take effect, but it never happened.
Donna

 

[Poohlovr]

No, the PP was correct. No passport is required on a closed loop cruise (leaving from and returning to a U.S. port)

All that is required is a birth certificate. They also say that a notarized letter from the absent parent is required, but I have never had to produce one for my grandsons (different last name).

 

[disneymarie]

Here's a little backstory....

SIL has a son from a previous marriage (son is now 14). ExDH hasn't seen him in YEARS and I mean YEARS. Hasn't paid but $12 in child support since he left (when child was about 3-4) Thing is.....in the divorce, they got joint custody. She does not know where he is now


Fast foward to today SIL, new husband (been married 6 yrs now) and said child are supposed to take a cruise with us this summer. They went to go get their passports today and was told that they couldn't do it because the biological father needs to give permission for her to take him out of the country. How can he sign anything if nobody knows where he is and even if they did find him, he is the type of person who would NEVER sign anything like that, in spite.

Is there anyway around this? Probably not, I'm sure. But we're all just confused here. They already have already put the deposit down (and I THINK put their tax return on the rest of it to pay it off) .

Does anyone know what they can do?

Perhaps this qualifies as an abadonment issue and an attorney can get a court order, the primary custody to mother and legal. That the father has abondoned his rights by not having parental contact for a year.
Your friend does not need an attorney to have the order changed. There is a document she can present to the court from the Orphans Court and the Judge generally hears in the morning on these issues. Provide all the documents of abadonment that she has.....
I urge her for more then this trip to change the order.

I never had an order for custody, ex left and I reared the children, two with disabilities. I was able to have wage attachment. The ex remarried, had nothing to do with the children. When our oldest daugter passed away, I did not have the abadonment issue in the court order when he stated to the court he wanted nothing to do with the children and stopped his pursuit of visitation.
Now I was awarded a settlement in her passing, he refused to participate to be a part of the suit, the estate, wanted nothing to do with it.....Where a judge or jury could access his losses.

Now, he wants half the settlement as a sperm donor. Our children are so distraught over the loss, we have so many issues in coping the grief, and depression. This animal is jeopardizing everything,
I can't stress enough to your sil, please no one wants to think of a tragedy, but, protect her family from the potential of something like this ever happening.
GET TO A COURT ASAP....the orders are ammendable always.

I wish your friend well, but she will need the court to help her.

 

[shortbun]

The passport requirements have changed folks. You need one even to go to Canada now. OP, I doubt the legal hoops necessary will be doable to apply for and get a passport by summer. This is one of the problems with allowing that undesirable other parent to drift away because you want no contact with them. You guys may have to wait until your nephew is of age before he can get his own passport. It's to protect the kids but there should be a way. Good luck.

 

[bumbershoot]

The website is helpful here.

http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html


The page is like a flow chart.


Best case: Both Parents MUST: * Appear in person with the minor
* Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent

If can't do that: One Parent MUST: * Appear in person with the minor
* Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent
* Submit the second parents' notarized Statement of Consent (Form DS-3053)

(took out the sole custody part since she has joint)

And lastly: If none of the above documentation is available, the applying parent must submit Form DS-3053 stating why the non-applying parent/guardian's consent cannot be obtained.

 

[Acklander]

This is one of the problems with allowing that undesirable other parent to drift away because you want no contact with them.

I suspect she didn't just "allow" him to drift away. Some guys drift away all on their own.

 

[maslex]

I suspect she didn't just "allow" him to drift away. Some guys drift away all on their own.

This is true. After the divorce, ExDH went his way (he did have his "weekends or every other weekend", I don't remember) with his son. That didn't last very long though. He then started not showing up on some weekends and then it just stopped all together after a while.

He also has another son in his early 20's, that he has done the same thing to. Didn't have anything to do with him and would not give up his parental rights (same thing he's doing with Dnephew). SIL's husband wants to adopt him as his own (has been with him since he was 5) but ExDH has said before that he would never give up his rights.

 

[livie1205]

be aware if you get the passport the other parent WILL be able to use it....even if you have it they can file for another copy and then they can take the child out of the country! This is why I have not taken my son on a cruise...I do NOT want my ex to have that right.He has a weird obsession with middle east customs and has alot of friends from there and I am scared to death he would take him and go there!

 

[abdmom]

On a closed loop cruise originating and returning to the U.S. , you do not need a passport. You need a birth certificate and a drivers license or other photo I.D. For a minor, if both parents are not accompanying the child, you also need a notarized letter from BOTH parents stating that they give you permission to take the child out of the country. If you have sole legal custody, you need to show those papers. If the other parent is dead, you need to show the death certificate. People have been denied boarding without that letter.

I agree with the previous posters who said that she should consult an attorney.

 

[golfgal]

If he hasn't had contact with his son for x number of years (5 or 7 or something like that) she can petition the court to get his parental rights waived. I would contact an attorney and find out the laws in your state. I have a friend that was trying to adopt her step-son and the mom knew the law and would call the day before the time expired just to spite them. It was a really sad situation.

 

[SnowWhite607]

On a closed loop cruise originating and returning to the U.S. , you do not need a passport. You need a birth certificate and a drivers license or other photo I.D. For a minor, if both parents are not accompanying the child, you also need a notarized letter from BOTH parents stating that they give you permission to take the child out of the country. If you have sole legal custody, you need to show those papers. If the other parent is dead, you need to show the death certificate. People have been denied boarding without that letter.

I agree with the previous posters who said that she should consult an attorney.

can you tell me where you got this info? We are going on a cruise in June to Cozumel, Honduras and Belize and were told we had to have a passport. I have already applied for my daughters and am taking mine and my husbands to be renewed next week.

But we leave and return to New Orleans.

 

[cntrygal]

This is how the kids and I ended up going to Disney the first time. I triied to get a passport for my oldest. Problem was, I didnt have custody, I had him as a teenager, his father has never wanted anything to do with him and never asked for visitation, so no order of anything was filed, we had no idea where his father was, it had been 15 years. So i gave up on the cruise and took the kids to disney instead.

 

[taylor1293]

The passport requirements have changed folks. You need one even to go to Canada now. OP, I doubt the legal hoops necessary will be doable to apply for and get a passport by summer. This is one of the problems with allowing that undesirable other parent to drift away because you want no contact with them. You guys may have to wait until your nephew is of age before he can get his own passport. It's to protect the kids but there should be a way. Good luck.

US Citizens are not (yet!) required to have a passport for a closed loop cruise!

On a closed loop cruise originating and returning to the U.S. , you do not need a passport. You need a birth certificate and a drivers license or other photo I.D. For a minor, if both parents are not accompanying the child, you also need a notarized letter from BOTH parents stating that they give you permission to take the child out of the country. If you have sole legal custody, you need to show those papers. If the other parent is dead, you need to show the death certificate. People have been denied boarding without that letter.

I agree with the previous posters who said that she should consult an attorney.

can you tell me where you got this info? We are going on a cruise in June to Cozumel, Honduras and Belize and were told we had to have a passport. I have already applied for my daughters and am taking mine and my husbands to be renewed next week.

But we leave and return to New Orleans.

Took me just a few mintues to do a search. Here are the links from Carnival, RCCL, and Disney.

http://www.carnival.com/CMS/Static_Templates/EMB_travel_document.aspx

http://www.royalcaribbean.com/beforeyouboard/passportGuidelines.do

http://disneycruise.disney.go.com/faqs/preparing-for-your-cruise/proof-of-citizenship/