Once upon a time there was a wonderful king who built a beautiful kingdom where everything was good <that would be
Disneyland>. He then bought up land in Florida with the intention of building a 'perfect' community he wanted to call EPCOT (no theme parks of any kind). Unfortunately he couldn't get financing for his (moronic) dream unless he cloned another Disneyland there first. He agreed, then he died, then construction began and the delusion of Epcot was gone (whew!).
When this cloned park finally opened it was devoid of many of the things we have come to love over the years, there was no mountains, no roller coasters, no pirates (or dragons), no Pooh, no night parade, and Tomorrowland was a joke featuring Mission to the Moon (the only Tomorrowlike attraction), a race car track(?!?), a 360 movie about the USA(?!?), a ride about traveling...IN A PLANE(?!?). Everything sparkled, because it was brand new as you would expect. People came from all around to see the beautiful kingdom that the wonderful king had basically nothing to do with didn't originally want to build at all. As a result the park was very crowded, the lines were very long and as a result they had to keep the park open real late to accomodate all the guests. Characters encounters were rare and the guests killed each other to see them when they randomly popped up somewhere. Everything was clean, as it still is today (except to those with selective memories who didn't bother to remember the messes they encountered when they first went so they now think that somehow magically the messes never existed). Few people ever got hurt, as it still is today. Everyone was happy, as they still are today. Servants served with glee, as they still do today. People who visited the kingdom were treated as honored guests as they still are today, and did not ever want to leave, as they still do today. Everywhere was joy and happiness, the smell of goodies as there still is today. There were no magical memories of childhood, since the park just opened. The park was so new and so 'special' that many later developed rediculously unrealistic memories of how 'perfect' it was and could never again enjoy it like they did when they first experienced it.
After updating Tomorrowland to actually be a Tomorrowland and adding some Pirates, the 'kings of the time' decided, in a fit of greed, to rip the heart out of Fantasyland by selling the only 'Mickey Mouse' attraction (the Mickey Mouse Revue) to Japan. The kings of the time then decided to expand their kingdom by building their (money making) version of EPCOT and brought new meaning to the word commercialism, by basically selling every pavilion out to a sponsor. The rest of the world laid waste. The new kings, were idiots and failed to protect the kingdom and greenmailers almost destroyed the whole company. After realizing their stupidity, the kings of the time finally brought in a new king (Eisner). Eisner brilliantly expanded the empire with new and different theme and water parks, and beautiful themed hotels and brought the Kingdom right into your hometown (Disney Stores), into your theatres (Disney on Ice shows, and a revitalized movie empire), and into your homes (Disney Channels and ABC). More and more people came to visit the kingdom because it made them happy to be there and the kingdom got better every day. Unlike the original king who ruled alone with only his brother to challenge him, Eisner answered to a board and the stockholders, whose #1 goal was to make money. In such a big kingdom Eisner found it impossible to make everyone happy all the time, but he did his best. The empire has always paid its servants better than nearby empires, and it's benefits are chershed by all including all of those keep the kingdom clean and safe.
In the last 15 years, the king built many new expensive and unique things in the kingdom and developed many new alliances with many talented people and their empires (george lucas, muppets, pixar), and developed more new original themes (lion king, aladdin...) than the original king did (most of which were NOT based on original stories) and the sparkle of the kingdom has never been better. The beautiful tiny little kingdom was now a beautiful giant kingdom filled with many different things for everyone to enjoy. He has built glorious mountains and reversed the crass commercialization of the previous administration. It's hard to find commercial references in HIS 1st park, MGM. His 2nd park AK involved a decade of research and development and you won't find 1 store on this parks 'main street' (the oasis), and all of the buildings are part of the jungle. Wonderfully rich live entertainment is everywhere, character encounters are everywhere at anytime as well as where you expect. Parades can be found at almost all the parks, with spectacular special events throughout the year (star wars days, food/flower festivals, soaps weekend, xmas, halloween...). Unlike the good old days, there are now so many ways to enjoy yourself in Eisner's kingdom aside from the many new parks and attractions, including pin trading, wonderful eating experiences with many character dining options, catching a live street act, or just sitting around and enjoying the streetmousephere go by (musicians, street players, the people, the cheerful castmembers, the beautiful landscaping and architecture). You can even be accompanied by pal mickey. No longer is a trip to the kingdom one dimensional, with all these dimensions, you can make your vacation whatever you want it to be... from a frenzied park-hopping marathon, to a laid back day enjoying live shows and all you can eat dining.
But this didn't stop Eisner, he demonstrated his caring and wisdom when he eliminated the one unpleasant theme park experience...waiting in line. Fastpass was such a success that other kingdoms scrambled to copy the ingenious concept which allowed you to do more, gives everyone the opportunity to enjoy the ultra-popular attractions, while eliminating the need to wait in long lines to enjoy them.
And to top it off, Eisner has now taken the kingdom full circle and finally restored the heart of the MK by adding Mickey's Philharmagic back where Mickey's original attraction was ripped out from in the good all days.
Unfortunately there are still some miserable guests who miss the wonderful king and his dream, ignoring the fact that if his dream had been allowed to come true would have meant no Kingdom at all, no parks, no hotels, no fun, no time. A king who entire kingdom was based his reinterpretation of the works of others, a king who then built one magical park based on these works then cloned it here in Florida. They spend their little time in the kingdom now looking for messes that went unnoticed in the good ol' days in their excitement of enjoying the newness of the earlier kingdom. They fail to notice how much more beautiful and diverse the landscaping is nowadays (especially since AK opened) than it was in the good ol' days. And with their negative attitudes they manage to bring down even the most cheerful cast member (funny, nearly all the CMs I meet are cheerful and more than helpful).
Despite the miserable ones, the happy guests find it easy to enjoy all the wonder that Eisner has provided and continues to provide. The bad guests will probably remain as their miserable old selves until they die, but the good guests and the good servants will continue to light the fireworks and celebrate throughout the beautiful diverse multi-dimensional kingdom, and live happily ever after. The End.