Is this bride "selfish"???

[robinb]

So is she selfish for not having the wedding in the city they all reside?

Yes. I don't care for destination weddings.

 

[disbridemimi]

No, of course not! It is their wedding day! ANd I noticed that you mentioned that the BRIDE is selfish but not the groom? Did he get hogtied or forced?
You got to choose what you wanted for your wedding, don't be that person that has to complain about someone elses. Let them have their one day as they want it.

 

[crashbb]

Yes. I don't care for destination weddings.

Just because you don't care for them (which you are, of course, completely allowed to do) doesn't make someone selfish for having one.

 

[mumom95]

They aren't selfish at all, but they also don't have the right to get upset if some people decline the invitation.

 

[HighClass]

See, her siblings and parents will definitely come...


I feel her selfishness is that her younger brother-starting 8th grade(he is a stellar scholar and never misses school) and 3 nieces/nephews will miss school in the first weeks to attend this.

Their school starts Aug 10(very early this year)-and the fact her mom used up her vacation already.

 

[Stacerita]

See, her siblings and parents will definitely come...


I feel her selfishness is that her younger brother-starting 8th grade(he is a stellar scholar and never misses school) and 3 nieces/nephews will miss school in the first weeks to attend this.

Their school starts Aug 10(very early this year)-and the fact her mom used up her vacation already.

Its still their wedding. Maybe it makes you selfish for wanting them to have a wedding where you want them to.

 

[Lintasare]

Is there anyone in your family you don't have an issue with?

 

[TwinsinCA]

I don't think having a wedding out of town is selfish. What gets me are the people that then have a reception later that is closer to home. Either you want people to celebrate your wedding or you don't. But don't have what amounts to a gift grab later.

 

[maelstrom]

My cousin got married in Hawaii, and everyone who was invited lived in Arizona, Ohio, New York, or France. They totally understood that some people (us) couldn't come. They held a small reception/party a couple of months later in Ohio (where they were living at the time) and we went to that. And I don't blame them one bit for having their wedding where they wanted it, even if that meant that some family was unable to attend.

 

[Va-bear]

Yes. I don't care for destination weddings.

I agree - unless the couple is eloping and no one else is invited.

Why cant weddings be about the bride/groom AND the bringing together of two families like they used to be? And why cant the couple just take an elaborate honeymoon to the same spot?

I've seen more sad, sad situations due to these weddings - one case, only the grooms side attended because the brides side couldn't afford it, nice. Another case, the parents spent decades worth of their retirment money because the mom couldnt bear not to be there. (Did the bride and groom consider this...no, it was THEIR day.) You can be thoughtful and still have it be your day. Is it your right to do otherwise, ofcourse it is.....

 

[LoraJ]

I don't think having a wedding out of town is selfish. What gets me are the people that then have a reception later that is closer to home. Either you want people to celebrate your wedding or you don't. But don't have what amounts to a gift grab later.

Yup, I had no desire to have an At Home Reception. to me, it defeated the purpose of the destination wedding. Some of our friends did throw us a surprise wedding shower BBQ. We had no clue. It was really nice and we were very touched.

 

[disneyjunkie]

See, her siblings and parents will definitely come...


I feel her selfishness is that her younger brother-starting 8th grade(he is a stellar scholar and never misses school) and 3 nieces/nephews will miss school in the first weeks to attend this.

Their school starts Aug 10(very early this year)-and the fact her mom used up her vacation already.

Is the wedding on a Saturday? If so, the family can fly out on Thursday night and return on Sunday. That way they will be there for the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and the wedding. The kids will only miss on day of school. The mother will miss one day of work.


They will miss all the hoopla leading up to the big day, but at least they will be there for the main event.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Maybe it's because I would love a Disney Wedding, but I don't think destination weddings are selfish. At least for me, it doesn't matter where I get married. Pretty much my entire family will have to fly and get a hotel, etc. etc. We live in Missouri. The rest of my family lives in California, Colorado, Kansas, and Virginia.

Maybe this place has a special meaning for them? As long as they are okay with the possibility that people might miss it, no harm no foul. If the parents don't want to pull the kids out of school, it's not the end of the world. The kids will survive.

 

[robinb]

Just because you don't care for them (which you are, of course, completely allowed to do) doesn't make someone selfish for having one.

The reason I don't care for destination weddings is BECAUSE I think they are selfish. In this case the bride and groom are being especially selfish because all three families live in the same community but they want a beach wedding a three day drive away . I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings here, but that's how I feel about it.

 

[Disney Doll]

They should be able to have their wedding where they want. I say "they" because last time I checked, there were 2 people involved in a wedding, not just a bride. Seems like a lot of people are saying "Is she selfish?".

What would be selfish would be if they started throwing a fit and making people who couldn't attend feel badly about it.

 

[HighClass]

Thanks

My brother, who loves his stepdd dearly, just felt it was alot, especially since he and his wife (Bride's Mom) just spent a lot of time and $$ on their long planned Trip to Europe. Now the expense of plane tickets for the 4 of them at home, more vacation time etc. Their nuclear family is very close and all will definitely attend.

 

[Wishing on a star]

While I agree that most destination weddings ARE 'selfish',
I am not so sure that this is one of them.

Personally, I would NEVER choose a destination over knowing that my mother/father/loved ones would all be able to attend.
But, to each his own.

Some may feel it is selfish to get married anywhere away from parents and immediate family. However, in the end, if the couple just wants to elope, that is their perogative.

I think that the biggest factor in being 'selfish' is being 'demanding'.... expecting everyone to bend over backwards to show up at a very high/unrealistic/prohibitive expense. (Think pricy resort....) And, I am not sure that the couple is being demanding, or that the cost is truly prohibitive. It sounds like a simple affair.

I am sorry, OP, but I just can't see what the one set of parents big 'dream vacation' has to do with this wedding.

It certainly doesn't sound like the bride is asking her mom/parents to pay for it.

 

[HunnyPots]

What's wrong with being a little "selfish" about your wedding? A wedding is for the bride and groom; why should they have to worry about anybody else's schedule? Unless they are demanding that everyone drop what they're doing and come to the wedding, I see nothing wrong with what they've planned.

 

[shortbun]

nope, not selfish. In fact, it sounds like a wonderful, fun, wedding. People who can't make it should just say it.

 

[Nancyg56]

I don't think it is selfish but it may be shortsighted. Sometimes a plan seems perfect at first but as the time draws closer the consequences of that choice are not so pleasant.

In this case, her parents and her immediate family have financial complications as well as timing issues that need to be addressed. That may impact some of the "hoopla" that is part of wedding festivities. The destination may also impact her guest list and that may be a disappointment as well. If the Bride and Groom are okay with this then, they are not selfish, it is their wedding. If the B&G are upset if guests cannot attend or if the immediate family cannot spend as much time or money contributing to their wedding then they have been shortsighted.

My SIS IL was invited to a destination wedding in Hawaii and immediately told the B&G that she was going o attend. This was in the planning stages and many of their friends and family said this as well. Came down to it, very few of them were able to attend, it sounded good as they were all talking about it but when it came down to actually having the time available and the finances allocated it was not so easy. I felt badly for the couple, they were led to believe that their wedding would be well attended.