Is not allowing your child to nap child abuse?

[EllenFrasier]

I know someone who has a baby that just turned one year old. She does not allow the child to take a nap during the day because she wants her to go to bed at 8:30 at night. The child is obviously tired, rubbing her eyes, laying her head down on the couch, yawning, etc. but she snatches her up and gets her moving so she does not fall asleep.
I asked her why and she says if she takes a nap, she won't go to sleep until 10 or 11 at night. So she is making her stay awake all day just so she does not have to deal with her at night? I was thinking that it was probably a phase the baby was going through when she would not go to sleep at night after a nap - my kids all did that.
What do you think? My sister says it's child abuse because she won't let her baby sleep when she is obviously tired.

 

[Kellydelly]

It's not abuse, but it is ignorant .

 

[Jennasis]

It's stupid, but I don't think it rises to the level of abuse.

 

[DMickey28]

My youngest DS never napped very regularly in the first place. He goes to sleep at 6:30 and gets up around 7-7:30a. He's just over 2 and has been doing this for at least a year. I don't stop him from napping if he needs it but 9 times out of 10 he will throw a fit once I actually put him down. He also will not go to sleep until at least 8-9pm if he takes a solid nap. Usually 45 minutes is enough.

A baby that age needs at least 13-15 hours a day so unless that baby is sleeping until 10am I doubt she's getting enough.

I don't know that I would go so far as label it child abuse but poor parenting ... probably.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Yes, it is. Sleep deprivation is a cruel thing to do to person, let alone a little baby. She's being a selfish *****.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/sleep-requirements

 

[FireDancer]

That sounds about as much like child abuse as what I am typing right now is bullying you.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, without a doubt...
Controlling and abusive.
Sleep deprivation is HARMFUL.

Read the other current thread about 'my child's body is not mine'.

Sleep and normal and healthy sleep cycles are a very, very, important part of health and child development.

Controlling and abusive, to deny a child a baby an opportunity to nap.

 

[alex9179]

Man, I MISS the days my kids would nap! I still try to convince my 4 yr old to take some kind of rest during the day if he's grumpy or obviously tired, but he rarely falls asleep. I guess that he doesn't want to miss anything. Silly boy. However, I will not let him nap after 4pm. That's just asking for a really long night.

I don't think it's "file charges" abusive, but it certainly isn't looking out for her kid's best interest. I would encourage a rest earlier in the day and then keep her active after she wakes if I wanted her in bed by 8:30pm.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

That sounds about as much like child abuse as what I am typing right now is bullying you.

Okay, let's take your normal sleeping time amount and minus 4 hours from it for a year, no naps allowed either, and see how you feel. (this is using the 16 hours rule for sleep for babies and figuring the baby is probably up around 8:30AM, or earlier, who knows)

Sleep deprivation is a known torture method.

 

[Heidict]

Abusive, no. Maybe she needs to get her up earlier in the morning and allow a short nap in the afternoon so that she is still ready to go to sleep at a decent hour in the evening? I'm sure there is a way around this so that the baby goes to bed at 8 at night, but is allowed a brief nap in the afternoon.

 

[Hannathy]

If you had ever seen true child abuse you wouldn't even think this could be it.

If a 1 yr old truly wanted to sleep just redirecting them wouldn't do it, a baby who's body really needs and wants to sleep would sleep, we have all seen them sleeping thru parades at Disney or on rides, etc.



Not all kids need 16 hrs of sleep. We are individuals and in such have vastly different needs. My DD never napped and never needed that much sleep as a baby. She would only sleep about 9 hrs a night maybe 10 even as a newborn. And she is a perfectly healthy, intelligent, 20 yr old now.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

http://content.usatoday.com/communi...y-babies-grow-most-when-they-sleep-the-most/1

Poor little baby.

 

[FireDancer]

Okay, let's take your normal sleeping time amount and minus 4 hours from it for a year, no naps allowed either, and see how you feel. (this is using the 16 hours rule for sleep for babies and figuring the baby is probably up around 8:30AM, or earlier, who knows)

Sleep deprivation is a known torture method.

Sleep deprivation as a method of torture is keeping people up for days at a time, not saying you have to sleep through the night but not take a nap.

I think it is crappy and kind of odd but I don't think it rises to the level of abuse. The whole (admittedly misguided) reason that the mom is skipping the nap is to make the kid sleep more at night so while they are losing sleep time in the middle of the day they are making up for it by sleeping longer at night (by going to bet at 8:30 instead of 11:00).

Of course this place is kind of nuts so I'm sure by page 3 this will be a capital offense.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

If you had ever seen true child abuse you wouldn't even think this could be it.

If a 1 yr old truly wanted to sleep just redirecting them wouldn't do it, a baby who's body really needs and wants to sleep would sleep, we have all seen them sleeping thru parades at Disney or on rides, etc.

What, exactly, IS "true child abuse"? Emotional and physical abuse don't have to be horrific to have a lasting, irreversable, negative impact on someone.

 

[DopeyDame]

It sounds like she's a mom really struggling with sleep issues with her kid.

A baby going to bed at 10 or 11 at night clearly isn't a good situation either (yes, yes, I know, you're kid goes to bed at 11 at night and is awesome and cheery and wonderful from 7am onward, but your kid is unique and that's not normal for a 1 year old)

I suspect there's a lot more going on that just "I'm mean and don't want to deal with my kid at 10am."

Calling this abuse does a lot of harm to kids who are actually abused.

 

[luvmy3]

I know someone who has a baby that just turned one year old. She does not allow the child to take a nap during the day because she wants her to go to bed at 8:30 at night. The child is obviously tired, rubbing her eyes, laying her head down on the couch, yawning, etc. but she snatches her up and gets her moving so she does not fall asleep.
I asked her why and she says if she takes a nap, she won't go to sleep until 10 or 11 at night. So she is making her stay awake all day just so she does not have to deal with her at night? I was thinking that it was probably a phase the baby was going through when she would not go to sleep at night after a nap - my kids all did that.
What do you think? My sister says it's child abuse because she won't let her baby sleep when she is obviously tired.

I wouldn't say she is doing it so she doesn't have to deal with her at night, it sounds like she wants to get her on a schedule, maybe a baby staying up till 11 PM every night doesn't work with their schedule
Having said that, I don't think its a wise thing to do, but I don't consider it abuse at all. And as far as sleep deprivation, I know when my babies were very tired, no amount of me forcing them to stay awake would work. I don't know your relationship with her OP, but unless you are with her and her baby every minute you have no idea whether or not the baby does end up taking a nap sometimes, even if its 20 minutes here or there. Also, unless that woman never leaves the house I would assume that as soon as tired baby got into her car seat she'd be out like a light.

ETA when my dd was an infant she had her days and nights reversed. She slept alot during the day but was up alot at night. Her ped. told us to keep her awake the best we could during the day to force her into a normal pattern.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Sleep deprivation as a method of torture is keeping people up for days at a time, not saying you have to sleep through the night but not take a nap.

I think it is crappy and kind of odd but I don't think it rises to the level of abuse. The whole (admittedly misguided) reason that the mom is skipping the nap is to make the kid sleep more at night so while they are losing sleep time in the middle of the day they are making up for it by sleeping longer at night (by going to bet at 8:30 instead of 11:00).

Of course this place is kind of nuts so I'm sure by page 3 this will be a capital offense.

If she's letting the kid sleep it out for 16 hours, sure. If she's getting the kid up after only 11-12 hours, the child is earning sleep deprivation. It's been proven that people have to make up time lost sleeping or suffer sleep deprivation symptoms. It all adds up in your "sleep bank". You can't keep taking it out and not putting it back.

 

[FireDancer]

What, exactly, IS "true child abuse"?

This and this and this.

There is also a trial going on in Pennsylvania that kind of qualifies.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

Not abusive. I know lots of parents who have done this. It can be so hard when kids won't go to sleep at night, when the parents need to sleep. If the child naps, then won't go to sleep at night, then the total amount of sleep would be the same as if she doesn't nap, but goes to sleep earlier at night.

If it were me, I would probably try to get the child to nap at an earlier time. If that doesn't work, then I would make her bed time earlier. I sure wouldn't be letting my child stay up until 10 or 11 at night!

I can remember not letting my boys fall asleep in the car on the way home from the store because I wanted them to take a good nap when we got home. I knew if they fell asleep in the car they would only sleep a short time, then be grumpy in the afternoon.