Is a Friday Night Weddding inconsiderate?

[Handbag Lady]

As the bride of a very inconsiderate Monday afternoon wedding, I don't give a hoot when others need to plan their wedding.

In our case, having it on Monday vs. a Saturday would have cost us $2500 right off the bat. So if you want, why not contact the bride and tell her you will pay $2500 to go on a Saturday when it is good for you.

In all seriousness, go or don't go. Having a wedding on any day means that someone you want to go can't go. Some people have to work on Saturdays. Some people have religious reasons why they can't go on a Friday night or Saturday day or Sunday evening.

You can't please everyone so you might as well please yourself.

 

[Nancyg56]

I'm NOT trying to spin this into a forbidden religious thread, but please be aware that some churches place restrictions on Saturday weddings. Catholicism is one of those.

Most Catholic churches in the US will not allow a Saturday wedding any later than 2 pm, because they want everything associated with the wedding to be gone in time for Saturday afternoon reconciliations before Mass, which is normally at 5. Friday evening is generally the preferred time for a Catholic wedding; perfectly normal IME. My own Catholic ceremony was at 7:30 pm on a Friday -- I made it as late as possible to give guests time to get home from work, change, and get to the church.

That is the custom in my area. In fact, Masses are held at 4 PM in my church and 4:30 PM in my previous parish so no wedding after 2 PM. Then you get into the time lapse between the end of the Mass and when guests can get into the reception, generally not before 5 or 6 PM. Now IMO, that is a problem. Not a deal breaker, I go and I don;t complain, but my goodness! There are often a lot of issues.

I have never been to a Friday night Catholic Wedding, they have all been on Saturdays and the majority, including my own, have been very late afternoon or very early evening ones.

You are very fortunate, in our area it is not going to happen.

My DD was married at 6 PM on a Friday. We were not trying to save money she wanted a Friday night. I believe that if you want to go you try to figure it out, if you really do not want to go or cannot go then politely decline.

 

[HighClass]

When both bride and groom are married in the town they live in/grew up-most guests are in the area, so its no big deal what day or time.


My point in the Inconsiderate area-the groom's WHOLE family-masses of Aunts Uncles cousins etc HAVE to spend the night in a hotel to attend. In this economy, that is a financial burden for some.

A Saturday afternoon wedding would allow the out of town guests to go home afterwards.

That is all.

 

[Stacerita]

Recieved an out of town wedding invitation.
All of groom's family-both sides -will have to drive 1-1 1/2 hours to get to wedding site. On a FRIDAY night at 7pm.

Most people work, so considereing time to get home, change to wedding garb, jump in car and race to wedding....and all will hAVE to stay in hotel.


To me in this case

-a Saturday Afternoon wedding would have been CONSIDERATE. None of the elderly relatives plan to attend.

Thoughts????

Inconsiderate?...no. Would I be happy about a friday wedding?.....proabably not. What is inconsiderate is expecting the couple to have a wedding that is better for you is. No one many know why they choose that date. I have a cousin who got married on a friday night. I was bothered that I had to take a day off work, and get a hotel that night. Not to mention get a sitter and such. But later I found out that the date they choose was the anniversary of their first date. So it was special date to them. It had nothing to do with it being a friday night.

Those who want to go to the wedding will, those who don't won't. You just need to choose what you want to do.

 

[LoraJ]

When both bride and groom are married in the town they live in/grew up-most guests are in the area, so its no big deal what day or time.


My point in the Inconsiderate area-the groom's WHOLE family-masses of Aunts Uncles cousins etc HAVE to spend the night in a hotel to attend. In this economy, that is a financial burden for some.

A Saturday afternoon wedding would allow the out of town guests to go home afterwards.

That is all.

So it is not the day, just that it is at night? So they still would have been inconsiderate if it was on Saturday night?

Sorry, guestzillas don't get to dicate when the wedding is.

 

[swald91]

We got married in a Catholic church almost 18 years ago on a Friday night. We did have relatives from out of town-not too far. We married on that night b/c it was the 5th anniversary of our first meeting! I guess if guests want to go they will make the arrangements-whether it's a Fri., Sat. or I do believe I read here a Mon. nite!!!

 

[MUFFYCAT]

When both bride and groom are married in the town they live in/grew up-most guests are in the area, so its no big deal what day or time.


My point in the Inconsiderate area-the groom's WHOLE family-masses of Aunts Uncles cousins etc HAVE to spend the night in a hotel to attend. In this economy, that is a financial burden for some.

A Saturday afternoon wedding would allow the out of town guests to go home afterwards.

That is all.

Your screenname sure does say alot.
Expecting them to have just a afternoon wedding is rude on your part.

It's there special day, the couple would be better off without you and selfish feelings there.

 

[onelilspark]

When both bride and groom are married in the town they live in/grew up-most guests are in the area, so its no big deal what day or time.


My point in the Inconsiderate area-the groom's WHOLE family-masses of Aunts Uncles cousins etc HAVE to spend the night in a hotel to attend. In this economy, that is a financial burden for some.

A Saturday afternoon wedding would allow the out of town guests to go home afterwards.

That is all.

By the way you have it worded, I'm guessing that it's in the Bride's hometown. That's tradition.

Where ever I get married, people will have to travel. It's going to be unavoidable, so I don't find it to be inconsiderate. Again, if it's that much of a hardship for you, just decline. And if it is the Groom's family and they really do care, they'd find a way to be there. Honestly, 90 minutes worth of driving one way isn't that much.

ETA: I find anything that begins "In this economy" as a total cop-out.

 

[KigerKat]

We got married on a Sunday - saved a TON of money on the reception hall, DJ and flowers. We found that NOT having it on a Saturday frees up a lot of vendors and they even lower their costs to get more people to do that.

 

[Kathi OD]

We got married on a Friday night. DSIL got married on a Sunday afternoon. Whatever works for the bride and groom. If you're offended at their choice of day and time, then just respond that you can't attend.

 

[alexandria674]

I have never heard of the term before but I read a post that contained the word "guestzilla" and finally there is a word that is perfect!

I understand the values of being a good hostess and the importance of trying to make others comfortable but sometimes the guests are a bit demanding.

For instance, the cost of a Friday wedding is cheaper then a weekend wedding. Should the bridal family pay more to accomodate everyone? No. Not only because of common sense but you cannot accomodate EVERYONE. What one sees as an annoying day for a wedding, the other sees as a great day. Would you complain more if it was on a Wednesday?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

When both bride and groom are married in the town they live in/grew up-most guests are in the area, so its no big deal what day or time.


My point in the Inconsiderate area-the groom's WHOLE family-masses of Aunts Uncles cousins etc HAVE to spend the night in a hotel to attend. In this economy, that is a financial burden for some.

A Saturday afternoon wedding would allow the out of town guests to go home afterwards.

That is all.

What about the financial burden of the hosts? You don't want to pay for a hotel room because if the financial burden- and I do 110% get that- but you want the bride and groom to buck up a few thousand more to have a Saturday wedding?

 

[Camicar]

II think Friday weddings are a great idea, what normal person wouldn't want an afternoon off for a wedding anyway?

Well, this normal person doesn't want an UNPAID afternoon off. If you have enough vacation time that you can take time off, great. I do not.

 

[luvmy3]

When both bride and groom are married in the town they live in/grew up-most guests are in the area, so its no big deal what day or time.


My point in the Inconsiderate area-the groom's WHOLE family-masses of Aunts Uncles cousins etc HAVE to spend the night in a hotel to attend. In this economy, that is a financial burden for some.

A Saturday afternoon wedding would allow the out of town guests to go home afterwards.

That is all.

Its sounds more like the problem is that it is an evening wedding? If the bride and groom chose to have it on Saturday night would those same people not come? It would seem that even if its a Saturday wedding at they would still either have to stay in a hotel or drive home

 

[TinklednPants]

Friday night weddings work well when your honeymoon cruise sails on Saturday.

 

[ckay87]

I've been known to do lots of social type things on a Friday night, far from home. Concerts, Atlantic City, dinner with friends, just to name a few. A wedding would just be one more. And 1- 1 1/2 hour drive is nothing for me.

Friday night...it's party time! Why not a wedding then? Just sleep the next day.

 

[Piecey]

My wedding was the most inconsiderate wedding of anyone I know.

I got married on a Thursday night, in Las Vegas, and only told people a week before because I didn't want anyone there. Including family.

It was my choice, 100% up to me. I don't care that people were angry at me for not doing it how they wanted... I loved every bit of it and wish the bride of the wedding in question the same thoughts when she looks back!

 

[EMom]

I haven't read all the replies, but it's not inconsiderate to have a Friday night wedding. There may be many reasons for it.

A friend of mine booked her wedding at the groom's home church ONE YEAR in advance and she got the worst time slot for a Saturday wedding because it was the only one left. All the other Saturday openings and the one (?) for Sunday had long since been booked. She was thankful to even get an available spot for a Saturday. So any bride to be that walked in LESS than one year in advance had to be saitsfied with Friday night or NOTHING. And many, many brides do not plan a wedding a full year in advance. Even if the church isn't heavily booked, perhaps the reception venue is, so the bride could run into the same trouble and have to be happy with a Friday time slot.

Also, with weddings costing a FORTUNE these days, there is often a significant cost variance between a Friday wedding and a Saturday or Sunday wedding. Having the wedding on a Friday could mean a difference of thousands of dollars. I can see where that could matter to a couple, whether they are paying for the wedding themselves or the parents are footing the bill.

One more possibility, although it's less likely, depending on the honeymoon.....Some packages depart only on certain days. If they booked a package that departs on Saturdays and Wednesdays, for example, they pretty much need a Friday wedding.

At any rate, it's their wedding and their call.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would say it may be inconvienent or disappointing for some people. However, if you are not able to attend just send your regrets.

I got married at the courthouse on a Friday, with only a handful of people.

I think people blow weddings out of proportion.

 

[RN4Babies]

When both bride and groom are married in the town they live in/grew up-most guests are in the area, so its no big deal what day or time.


My point in the Inconsiderate area-the groom's WHOLE family-masses of Aunts Uncles cousins etc HAVE to spend the night in a hotel to attend. In this economy, that is a financial burden for some.

A Saturday afternoon wedding would allow the out of town guests to go home afterwards.

That is all.

I'm confused....wouldn't a Saturday afternoon wedding involve an evening dinner reception? That's how the majority of weddings here happen; the reception usually ends around 11pm on a Saturday night. People either stay in a hotel for the night or drive home.