Is a Friday Night Weddding inconsiderate?

[MaryAnnDVC]

Oh, and I did attend a Friday night wedding at 7 PM, locally, where all the guests were local (except her mother and sister, who were going to come for days anyway), and I had no problem with that.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I think it's their wedding, they can do what they want. They can schedule it at noon on a Tuesday. Seems like they're meeting the segment of the population who works a 9-5 shift way more than half way, picking a time that means they'll have to take maybe an hour off work.

As to the hotel, I'm not sure I see the logic -- if I'm drunk I can't drive home after a wedding no matter what time, and if I'm sober an hour and half isn't a problem at any time of the day. If all the elderly relatives live in the same location an hour a way then surely someone can offer to drive them -- what about you?

 

[Chicago526]

I don't think so. Heck, one of my good friends got married on a thrusday afternoon! Most friends and family had to take at least a half day off of work to attend, and very few people complained (just the people on her father's side, really, but they've always been a bunch of selfish jerks, they would have complained about damn near any date/time they could have picked).

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I should add that I think that calling and complaining about anyone other than a very close family member not coming is inconsiderate no matter the reason.

In my family I would be very hurt if my mom, my brother or my best friend of 21 years couldn't come -- but they'd all be involved in the planning. Anyone else doesn't owe me a reason or an apology if they make a decision not to come.

 

[becpee]

I don't think it's inconsiderate at all (I got married on a Friday at 4:30).
Invited guests do not have to attend a wedding, they are invited and are welcome to turn down an invite, so if they think it's inconsiderate, maybe it's a better idea that they don't go as they'll be bitter the whole time.
We decided on a Friday for a few reasons, we considered that people would maybe have to take the afternoon off and thought that if they really wanted to be there and if they wanted to be at work they would, it's their choice.
I think Friday weddings are a great idea, what normal person wouldn't want an afternoon off for a wedding anyway?

 

[NotUrsula]

I'm NOT trying to spin this into a forbidden religious thread, but please be aware that some churches place restrictions on Saturday weddings. Catholicism is one of those.

Most Catholic churches in the US will not allow a Saturday wedding any later than 2 pm, because they want everything associated with the wedding to be gone in time for Saturday afternoon reconciliations before Mass, which is normally at 5. Friday evening is generally the preferred time for a Catholic wedding; perfectly normal IME. My own Catholic ceremony was at 7:30 pm on a Friday -- I made it as late as possible to give guests time to get home from work, change, and get to the church.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm NOT trying to spin this into a forbidden religious thread, but please be aware that some churches place restrictions on Saturday weddings. Catholicism is one of those.

Most Catholic churches in the US will not allow a Saturday wedding any later than 2 pm, because they want everything associated with the wedding to be gone in time for Saturday afternoon reconciliations before Mass, which is normally at 5. Friday evening is generally the preferred time for a Catholic wedding; perfectly normal IME. My own Catholic ceremony was at 7:30 pm on a Friday -- I made it as late as possible to give guests time to get home from work, change, and get to the church.

I have never been to a Friday night Catholic Wedding, they have all been on Saturdays and the majority, including my own, have been very late afternoon or very early evening ones.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I'm NOT trying to spin this into a forbidden religious thread, but please be aware that some churches place restrictions on Saturday weddings. Catholicism is one of those.

Most Catholic churches in the US will not allow a Saturday wedding any later than 2 pm, because they want everything associated with the wedding to be gone in time for Saturday afternoon reconciliations before Mass, which is normally at 5. Friday evening is generally the preferred time for a Catholic wedding; perfectly normal IME. My own Catholic ceremony was at 7:30 pm on a Friday -- I made it as late as possible to give guests time to get home from work, change, and get to the church.

I was married in the Catholic church at 5:30pm on a Saturday - guess it just depends on where you live?

 

[ICF]

Friday evening is generally the preferred time for a Catholic wedding; perfectly normal IME. My own Catholic ceremony was at 7:30 pm on a Friday -- I made it as late as possible to give guests time to get home from work, change, and get to the church.

huh? I've been to dozens of Catholic weddings....not a one as EVER been on anything other than a Saturday.

They are held as to not interfere with Saturday night mass, but I've been to ones prior to that between 1 and 3 and even one that took place after Saturday night mass around 7pm.

 

[jrmasm]

My wedding was Labor Day weekend, and it never occurred to me that it was when I picked the date, but even if it had I wouldn't have cared if people decided they would rather have a picnic or go camping instead of go to my wedding. That date was important for me and I wanted to be married that day, I wasn't thinking about how the guests would feel about it. I guess none really cared since most everyone that was invited, came.

I never said it was inconsiderate. I simply said I would rather attend a wedding on Friday than on a holiday weekend.

 

[shortbun]

Recieved an out of town wedding invitation.
All of groom's family-both sides -will have to drive 1-1 1/2 hours to get to wedding site. On a FRIDAY night at 7pm.

Most people work, so considereing time to get home, change to wedding garb, jump in car and race to wedding....and all will hAVE to stay in hotel.


To me in this case

-a Saturday Afternoon wedding would have been CONSIDERATE. None of the elderly relatives plan to attend.

Thoughts????

My thoughts are you should take Friday off and make a hotel reservation. I love Friday night weddings. They give me back the rest of my weekend AND having been a travel agent for many years-it's a great way to maximize the honeymoon options. The bride and groom can leave on Saturday or Sunday and/or spend time on Saturday with guest who have come in from far away. It's their wedding, you get to plan yours.

 

[emma'smom]

We were invited to a Friday wedding that was scheduled for 4pm with a 6pm reception. Even those who lived locally would have to take time off work to go and most of the family lived 1.5 hours away--and a 1/2 day's pay would be a sacrifice to many of these folks.

I didn't go to the wedding....I live 5 hours away and has professional obligations. I'm just a cousin, so I doubt the groom and bride cared much.

However, there were many aunts/uncles for whom missing this wedding just wouldn't have been an reasonable option--they wouldn't do that to their sister. Of course they willingly gave up a day of work and paid to stay in a hotel to be there for his wedding....and gave them a nice gift.

However, I did think it was a bit thoughtless on the part of the bride and groom to put their family in a situation where they would have to give up at least a 1/2 day of work to be there or choose not to go at all.

A 7pm wedding would have solved that problem for most of the folks they were inviting---without being a burden to them.

I think a couple needs to be gracious enough to think about the convenience of their guests. That's what it means to be a good host/hostess.
It may be their wedding---but just have a smaller wedding where everyone is able to come without it being a burden--and it will be just as inexpensive. I doubt the cousins would have been offended to be left off a more intimate (ie.cheaper) guest list at a more reasonable time for the folks who would really want to be there.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Recieved an out of town wedding invitation.
All of groom's family-both sides -will have to drive 1-1 1/2 hours to get to wedding site. On a FRIDAY night at 7pm.

Most people work, so considereing time to get home, change to wedding garb, jump in car and race to wedding....and all will hAVE to stay in hotel.


To me in this case

-a Saturday Afternoon wedding would have been CONSIDERATE. None of the elderly relatives plan to attend.

Thoughts????

Not inconsiderate at all. It's their wedding. I had a friend who was married on a Friday evening. It was gorgeous between the sunset and then later when it was dark. BEAUTIFUL pictures!

 

[castleview]

I think it's VERY considerate. I hate having a Saturday taken over by a wedding.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

Friday night weddings have become very popular around here I had a Friday afternoon/evening wedding (it was the day after Thanksgiving) and all of my in-laws had Friday night weddings with the exception of my brother whose wedding was on a Saturday afternoon. His wife wouldn't think of doing it any other time and as a result they had a very very low key wedding and didn't get to do a lot of things they would have otherwise wanted due to cost or no availability

DH's best friend is having a Sunday wedding this summer, I've already scheduled to have monday off of work. IMHO a Sunday wedding is less considerate than a Friday night wedding since most of us will be taking all of Monday off of work (to recover or get back home, the wedding is 'down the shore') rather than doing a half day on a Friday. Does it matter or am I upset? Not at all, I'm excited to go and have a good time

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I don't think a Friday night wedding is a huge inconvenience. It's not like it's a Wednesday morning- I can see how that would cause a problem for some people.

I don't see why taking a 1/2 day or day off work is the worst thing in the world, especially on a Friday. I've seen many (most, even) do it for far less important occasions!

 

[luvmy3]

I never said it was inconsiderate. I simply said I would rather attend a wedding on Friday than on a holiday weekend.

I never said you did.

 

[jrmasm]

I never said you did.

Huh, my bad I guess. You sure seemed offended in your response.

 

[luvmy3]

Huh, my bad I guess. You sure seemed offended in your response.

I only quoted your post because you mentioned a holiday weekend and I just happened to have mine on one.
I was just saying that it wouldn't have mattered if someone didn't want to come to mine because it was a Holiday weekend, but I was lucky that nobody seemed to care. Didn't take offense or mean to offend you with my response

 

[Kath2003]

I've been invited to a Friday wedding. Of course I can't go because I'm a teacher - I can't just 'take a day off'. I would have really loved to go but it's their choice, I guess. It's several hours from here so I may be able to make the evening reception if traffic is kind.