In Search of my Body...Not The One I ate...#3 "Crowning Goddesses As We Go"

[SeptemberGirl]

Paula! How did JC go last night????

 

[goofyfan-12]

Mornin'! I'm going to Disney World Tomorrow

Whoo Hoo!!!! Can I hide in your suitcase????


Anxious to hear how weigh in went.

Don't think I'm forgetting that you need to post an updated pic with Goofy. I'll let you get thru the holidays.

Thanks... I promise to post new pics soon.... Just need to find time to breathe again....

Last night I made buckeyes and cut out cookies and put in the freezer. I have thumbprints in the freezer too. When I get home, all I'll have to do is ice the cutouts and make peanut butter blossoms. I'm feeling pretty good. Now if the snow storm will just stay away tonight I can rest easy.

I'll send you my address so you can mail the cookies here...

Oh, except hubs grandpa is in the hospital. He's been sickly for a while.

Gotta go find Nancy's post, that escaped.[/B][/COLOR]

Lyz - have a great time....

Paula! How did JC go last night????

OK - results of the weigh in last night....

So let's review, I spent a week in Disney World eating and drinking my way through the dining plan and a visit with new friends. Came home for a few days and spent the weekend in Boston eating and drinking my way through with an old friend for a total of two weeks off of JC food and exercise plan.

The result was a loss of .1 pound.... I am over the moon thrilled as I went into this vacation hoping to stay the same or gain a pound or two. To have posted a loss (even one as small as that one) was huge. Both my JC consultant and I busted out our happy dances last night.... I then came home and went swimming and prompltly fell asleep.... such the exciting life I lead...

OK - off to get some work done and then to my company's Christmas party tonight... I have no idea what I am wearing to this and Liz - you know I have no fun clothes in my closet...

Talk to you later,
Paula

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Total rockstar Paula! Weigh to go!!!

I am soooo happy for you!!!!

 

[goofyfan-12]

Total rockstar Paula! Weigh to go!!!

I am soooo happy for you!!!!

Thanks...

You know we should plan a shopping trip in the Spring so I can get some fun clothes. I am starting to save up some cash so I can go into the City and shop for a new wardrobe. You would be an awesome style advisor... mkay...

Paula

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Thanks...

You know we should plan a shopping trip in the Spring so I can get some fun clothes. I am starting to save up some cash so I can go into the City and shop for a new wardrobe. You would be an awesome style advisor... mkay...

Paula

I'm all about it! Let me know what's good for you. Shopping...whee!!!

 

[HockeyKat]

Paula, that's AWESOME!!

Liz, I was a good girl. Only you and E on the Twilight-related stuff.

Lyz, have a great time!

 

[3DisneyKids]

OMG, Paula! Goddess Crown! That is AMAZING. "I went to Disney World and I lost weight!" Way to go.

Liz-do not take a water pill. Not because it is cheating, but because it is not natural and thus not healthy. Do it the right way. You KNEW this would be my answer. Just drink a$$loads of water for 2 days...you will be fine.

Eating...yeah, me too. I have nothing but parties and lunch dates for the next 2 weeks.

Lyz--OMG, tomorrow! You have to find a way to at least text me. Like, go tell B that you want to go see something that he won't be interested in. Then text from there, m-kay?

Kat--glad you like the Kool-Aid so well. Fortunately for the rest of my life, I have finished it. And I read most of BD twice. I read through it so fast the first time (just to get to the end) that I felt I had to go back and re-read it to do it justice. And Liz, the re-read did little for me...still pissed.

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Feeling a little bit unmotivated running wise. I look at the last 2 weeks, one of which I completely rested after the 1/2 and last week when I did some running but not as much, but added the shred in too. I lost more weight those 2 weeks, than I did in the 5 weeks prior when I was totally racking up the running miles.

I understand. Completely. It has a lot to do with the fact that you are training your body for an endurance event. You WANT your body to become accustomed to the running - so that it can do it for hours on end. Which means, that your body has "learned" how to respond to the running...how to use and conserve the energy that you have provided it vs. what it's going to need for the running.

It's frustrating, yes. But our BODIES are waaaay smarter than our brains! Our bodies know how to change, adapt, conserve....so, when you "shock" it with a completely different set of exercises, it's all like WTH? and it has to use some of that "stored" energy.

Make any sense at all?

I wouldn't worry too much about how much you run right now...as long as you are keeping up with your cardio in other ways. I know that you are doing another 1/2 in just a few weeks....I once did a 1/2 in mid-October, then the WDW in Jan. I trained for the Oct. one by doing all my miles...then after the 1st race, I did a combo of cycling and running....just to keep my cardio at the level I wanted, without my body having to take the pounding. I'd hit the TM for 30 minutes, take a cycle class for an hour, then TM for another 30 minutes...got a good solid 2 hours of cardio...Worked for me, anyway....

Mornin'! I'm going to Disney World Tomorrow

I'm so excited for you!!! Last night (again....) Becca said that we NEED to go back to WDW.

Last night I made buckeyes

One of my all time fav's. Going to the grocery store in a few minutes here...gonna get what I need for those

Oh, except hubs grandpa is in the hospital. He's been sickly for a while.
[/B][/COLOR]

Hope things go well for Gramps...

No, it just means you have to look somewhere else.

Ugh. You and Kat. FINE. I'll check the grocery store. But I'm NOT going out of my way for it.

So, I have a semi-sick kid, a desire to eat everything in sight, and 300 pierogi to make. Good times.

GOOD LUCK with all that


Also, I can so tell I am retaining water. Is it cheating to take a water pill? Tell me the truth.

Not cheating at all. I'd do it...

The result was a loss of .1 pound....

SWEET! That's an awesome accomplishment, Paula! Have fun at the party tonight!!!

I'll be home, watching BL cursing at stupid Vicki.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Super important question. Are Twilight and New Moon the only ones in paperback? Cause I found the motherload at the local bookstore, but the last 2 are hardback and $20 each. Gulp. I only bought NM and wanted to know if this was my only option for the other two. And if it is, I'm screwed, cause I'll have 2 paperbacks and 2 hardbacks. The series won't match. Arrrgh. I am so mental.

And if EriKa is so daggon mad, I'm not sure I can keep reading. I don't purposefully set myself up to be disappointed. I hope she's mad about another thing, not the main thing. Does that make sense?

Example, I have never watched Titanic. I know the end. It blows. I have enough stress that I don't need someone elses. kwim?

Oh and is anyone else looking at strangers wondering if they are vampires?

Amy - Great pictures. Tell us more about your VB.

Who knew that was coming?

Kat - Sorry to wig out re the book. I am so all about Lyz not getting spoiled.

Ha, I didn't understand this at all, till I read on down to Kats post. Liz is the treasure keeper.

Also, I can so tell I am retaining water. Is it cheating to take a water pill? Tell me the truth.

I'd take it. That's what it's for!

Lyz - have a great time....

Sanka.

OK - results of the weigh in last night....

So let's review, I spent a week in Disney World eating and drinking my way through the dining plan and a visit with new friends. Came home for a few days and spent the weekend in Boston eating and drinking my way through with an old friend for a total of two weeks off of JC food and exercise plan.

The result was a loss of .1 pound....

Paula! That is awesome!

Paula, that's AWESOME!!

Liz, I was a good girl. Only you and E on the Twilight-related stuff.

Lyz, have a great time!

Thanks KittyKat.

Lyz--OMG, tomorrow! You have to find a way to at least text me. Like, go tell B that you want to go see something that he won't be interested in. Then text from there, m-kay?

I TOTALLY will.

Hope things go well for Gramps...

Thank you.

Ugh. You and Kat. FINE. I'll check the grocery store. But I'm NOT going out of my way for it.

lol

I'll be home, watching BL cursing at stupid Vicki.

I forgot, Vicki is on tonight. Anyone notice how sexy she "feels?" I say feels, cause I find her repulsive, but her whole demeanor has changed. That's good, but...

I think Steph must have New Moon and thus MIA.

Ok, have to get a few things done. Then go get my Christmas grocery shopping done. And put another coat of red polish on my toes.

 

[amykab]

Paula, WTG on the loss! Awesome!

Nancy, thanks for your thoughts on the running thing. I did go out this morning for almost 4 miles and it felt great. I didn't take my garmin and I think it helped. I just did what felt good.

Lyz, safe travels! Weather is awesome. Delena loved the lights. At least it looked like she did. She was pointing everywhere and talking non-stop in her Delena-speak. I thought i saw eclipse in paperback. Did you check amazon?? they have free shipping right now.

Kat, will definitely let you know if I might be able to head over that way. Not sure what DH has planned.

Erika, I need to know too. Are you mad at the book?? Or still mad about the other thing and rereading the book didn't help?? I had breaking dawn issues. I won't get into them on here since alot of people haven't read it yet.

Liz, I'll post VB details later....

Have a good day everyone!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

I thought i saw eclipse in paperback. Did you check amazon?? they have free shipping right now.

Just checked. Only Spanish paperback is out. Looks like pb release is May 2009! Kat - I might need you to read it to me.

 

[3DisneyKids]

This will be a Twilight post...so you can tune out if you want.

Lyz--yes, the last 2 are only in hard cover. But I got them both at Target for $12.88 each. If you can't stomach the price, I will send you my copies.

Amy--yes, issues with BD. We'll talk off the thread. And Lyz...it is still totally worth reading all of it. You will not be disappointed. It is just a point about which Liz and I disagree and I am dying for your take on it. (Mostly cause I know you will agree with me. )

Kat! Feel like I haven't hung out with you in ages. Sorry..that is on my end. I am just, blah.

Nancy--LOVE what you said to Amy about the racing funk. Yes, this helps me a lot as well. I have been having a very hard time with my running for the past 2 weeks. I may do as you suggest and just make sure I get in 2 solid hours of cardio as opposed to 2 solid hours of running.

Lyz--sorry about gramps. Will he be home for Christmas?

 

[3DisneyKids]

And Lisa! Ok, so you are race-obsessed, right? love everything about training and racing, etc.

So here comes the obvious question. Why don't you commit to a race and start training??? I would totally train with you! You are already in such great shape...I bet you would love the challenge of training for a 5k. I KNOW you could do a 5k!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Oh God! Yes, must watch Vicky go down in flames tonight! It HAS to be Michelle, right? It just HAS. TO. BE.

I mean, now that Vicky as been home for several weeks, etc. she MUST know how badly she has come across on tv. And she must know that she is HATED on all of the fan sites. Wonder if she will address that tonight? It is live, right?

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Lyz--yes, the last 2 are only in hard cover. But I got them both at Target for $12.88 each. If you can't stomach the price, I will send you my copies.

No, I can stomach $12.88. It was the $20. Thanks

Amy--yes, issues with BD. We'll talk off the thread. And Lyz...it is still totally worth reading all of it. You will not be disappointed. It is just a point about which Liz and I disagree and I am dying for your take on it. (Mostly cause I know you will agree with me. )

Ha!

Kat! Feel like I haven't hung out with you in ages. Sorry..that is on my end. I am just, blah.

Nancy--LOVE what you said to Amy about the racing funk. Yes, this helps me a lot as well. I have been having a very hard time with my running for the past 2 weeks. I may do as you suggest and just make sure I get in 2 solid hours of cardio as opposed to 2 solid hours of running.

Lyz--sorry about gramps. Will he be home for Christmas?

Hope. This happened last year too.

And Lisa! Ok, so you are race-obsessed, right? love everything about training and racing, etc.

So here comes the obvious question. Why don't you commit to a race and start training??? I would totally train with you! You are already in such great shape...I bet you would love the challenge of training for a 5k. I KNOW you could do a 5k!

Good suggestion. for Lisa.

Oh God! Yes, must watch Vicky go down in flames tonight! It HAS to be Michelle, right? It just HAS. TO. BE.

I mean, now that Vicky as been home for several weeks, etc. she MUST know how badly she has come across on tv. And she must know that she is HATED on all of the fan sites. Wonder if she will address that tonight? It is live, right?

Yes it is.

 

[amykab]

Erika, can't wait to hear your thoughts on BD...

 

[Dizneydawn]

Hello my favorite mamacitas...

Got home yesterday afternoon...computer system had crashed on the end of Embarq while we were gone...and just am up and running today after a tech came out and millions of minutes on the phone...

Let me catch up on all of you...will read and do my best...

Miss all of you...can't wait to upload my pics for you! The ones of the night we all met are cute...and I cannot believe how fantabulous all of you are!

Hi to all the rest I did not see! Will post in a few hours after I reread all...

 

[HockeyKat]

This will be a Twilight post...so you can tune out if you want.

Lyz--yes, the last 2 are only in hard cover. But I got them both at Target for $12.88 each. If you can't stomach the price, I will send you my copies.

...

Kat! Feel like I haven't hung out with you in ages. Sorry..that is on my end. I am just, blah.

Lyz has been taken care of. Because I am sneaky.

Yeah, yeah. You just hate me.


I am working from home all day today, waiting for the new TV to arrive...

 

[Dizneydawn]

only on page 170 and feel so overwhelmed and jealous!

Amy - great running shots and that little girl is so flippin cute she is just squeezable...

Nancy - where did you buy at? I also have atime share for a resort in Cancun/Isla Mujeres...

Lyz - love the house decs and your dream about the tree being thrown - cracked me up...

Lisa - you are such a great poster and insight seeker - you really take the time to read about all of us and read through the lines to the inside meanings as well - I appreciate your input always....

Steph - the house is fabulous looking...love that village...

And as for the women of the trip...

It was hard for me to not be a bit envious of your alone time and although I knew my priority had to be th ekids this time...I would love another chance to be me without the kids...

They loved you all and E - Treyner thinks you are a riot...he sat closest to you so had the full on E impact....

Carsyn could not believe that there was anyone like me out there that talked and talked...

Baylor was just plain overwhelmed...but took it all in...and replayed his favorite comments from you all throughout the week...

Dan and I were having an off night I think...both just tired at that point...and truthfully...usually I am a bigger mouth and he even out talks me many times...

Right before you came...the kids were taking pics on the Boardwalk...and truthfully...I had a minor meltdown...not on them...or about them...just about me...

I will post this in hopes that you all might understand different pieces...

I never am in pics...literally never...I take pics of my kids...pics of Chad and the kids when we were together...and pics of everyone else...but I avoid them like the plague...

And E - you are right...I am taking myself out of their lives and memories by choosing this...and that night...my true weight...my true size...and my true self-worth...slapped me in the face...

I do not have a full size....long mirror in my house...rarely try on clothes at a store...and so seeing myself in a picture that night...reviewing them...expecting to see the 20 pound loss...was all good in theory...except when I saw the picstures...all I saw was my hair a friz mess with the rain...and my weight...the whole thing...not from looking down...but from a full frontal view...

And I felt like I got kicked in the gut...slapped in the face...and I did not take it well...I walked away from the kids and Dan..and seriously cried...

Dan came over...stunned...asking what is wrong..and I could not explain to him how I felt...

It was like I saw myself for the first time...for who I am as a 37 year old...overweight woman...not the potential I can be....but who I really am now...not changed as of this moment...me...

I do not know if this is making any sense to anyone...if anyone has ever had that moment in their own lives...but it was life changing...

I also felt lied to by Dan...and this is the most screwed up...please have patience with me...

I do not even know how to write this to make sense....

Dan always says I am pretty...stunning...beautiful...loves my smile...teeth...thinks I am sexy...sees my inner me and can take the pieces he thinks are perfect and look past the ones that are not...tells me he loves my face..all the time...

And I think that I started feeling about myself like he describes me...that when I looked at those pics...I was expecting someone....not me...better...thinner...prettier..does that make any sense at all...???

I felt so defeated....so...sad...I asked him to never tell me I was pretty again until I weighed less...until I felt it...and that is just wrong...I was trying to protect myself...trying to protect myself from him loving me because can't he see I am not who he describes....

Truthfully...protecting myself from the fear that he will leave that person in the picture when he realizes that she is not who he thinks she is...

He was hurt of course...but at that moment...without a moment alone to process how I felt about myself...I reacted and not well....not how I have ever reacted to him in my life...and I was pushing him away...

So that night was not my best moment...and Dan and I had not had ttime to talk...to sort things out...

He asks me why I can look past his loose skin...his weight he has left to loose...if I am so repulsed by myself...and I really took the past week to think about what I felt about myself...and how I have gotten to a place to not be able to look past my outer shell to accept my inner one...yet can do so with everyone else...

And I took pics this last week after that...and had pics taken of me by Carsyn...that I have not erased...which is a huuuuuge step for me...I started noticing that my legs are not as heavy as I thought they were....my hair is thinner but not as thin as the bald spots I was envisioning....and yes I am overweight...but I can do something about that...and seeing my real self is the best thing I could have ever done...to get to that point...

I am sorry for rambling all this here...I just had to get it out...and will read pages 171-present tonight...but first I will head to Target to get my pics on a disc..print off Christmas ones and...print some off of me as well...so I can hang them up for motivation...and acceptance...and a new determination to be where my head matches my sight...where my vision of me is the picture others see...

 

[lisaviolet]

And Lisa! Ok, so you are race-obsessed, right? love everything about training and racing, etc.

So here comes the obvious question. Why don't you commit to a race and start training??? I would totally train with you! You are already in such great shape...I bet you would love the challenge of training for a 5k. I KNOW you could do a 5k!

Glad you put the icon. Cause that's what I did. Ummm nope. No love for running here. Great shape? Hmmm have to think about that one. Back to running thoughts. Get this weird pain - I believe it's a vein/circulation issue - in the bottom of my legs. And two - I'm van. Irish thin thin skin. The idea of pounding does nothing for my vanity. Not that you're supposed to feed that beast.

And I'm sure you would totally train with me! You're like the running Scientologist!!! Come to my running room!

Good suggestion. for Lisa.

Hey cutie lay off!!!! Another funny girl! Hey Lyz. Tomorrow, eh? Yeah!!!!!

Hello my favorite mamacitas...

Got home yesterday afternoon...

Hey Dawn,

Good to see you. Can't wait to hear all about it.

Lisa

Kat - I lost the highlight. Enjoy the new TV. Bigger? LCD and such?


And Erika - how I do love a race. I used to be glued to the Ironman as a child.