Yes, DD was an exceptionally beautiful child. She was adopted, so I cannot even take credit for that.
The remarks started in Russia and never stopped once we came home. The first was my neighbor, whom I had previously told, "She's so pretty." My neighbor saw her and yelped, "OMG!!! That baby is not PRETTY. She's GORGEOUS! I've never seen a baby that beautiful." That was my first real clue. I really don't don't know how much was "exceptionally beautiful" and how much was simply her combo of golden tanned skin, blonde hair and blue eyes that could be seen a mile away. That particular combo seems to stop people in their tracks. I was approached with offers to have her model, etc. No thanks.
To be honest, I found it unnerving for complete strangers to go out of their way to come over and say something about her looks. Not all of the time, but in cases where it went over the top. Checkers who left their registers (with customers in line), women who walked away from their own kids, etc. And yes, it happened. That is just weird. I've seen many adorable, pretty children in my day and told many mothers their children were just that, but I'd never walk away from my OWN child to do it.
As she got older and went to preschool, it became obvious that she has what we call "The X Factor." Kids and teachers are drawn to her. We became concerned that if she ever figured out that she could influence/lead people because of being pretty/popular that she might go over to the dark side and turn into a snot. So from an early age, we set about trying to avoid that.
We do tell her she's pretty, but not constantly. More often, we tell her we are proud of how kind and thoughtful she is or some other inward trait. Basically, we concentrate on her character and her school work. So far, so good. She's 11 and hasn't a clue how pretty or popular she is.
I always told DH that it would all come to a screeching halt once she went through the awkward stage all kids go through.....You know, their bodies get all weird, they get pimples, their faces change, etc. As of now, that hasn't happened. She seems to be morphing into a teenager very gradually. But I will say her "stunning" looks have toned down. If someone looks at her, they will see a pretty 11 y.o. who is so far avoiding the curse of the awkward transition and goodness knows, that alone is a blessing.
I have warned DH that once makeup comes along and she starts fixing her hair, to be very scared. He is.
All I know is, some kids are born pretty and some kids grow into pretty adults. They are not always the same group. Lots of plain kids make gorgeous adults. We never made a big deal out of how pretty she was as a child because we knew it would tone down during the transition years, and if she valued herself only because of her looks, life would be very hard. Plus, her looks were due to the luck of the draw. And we've told her God makes us all different and that life would be boring if we were all alike. Also, if we dwelled on how pretty she was, she was more likely to become self-centered and we didn't want that.
We went to Russia without a clue as to what she looked like. All we wanted was a healthy child. We got that and thanked God. I remember on the flight over, my DH said, "I wonder if she'll be cute?" I said, "I don't care if that baby looks like a troll. As long as she's reasonably healthy, we're taking her." And I meant it. DD may be pretty, but it's not the most important thing about her by a long shot.
, it was crazy.
