I wonder how many parents have had this argument?

[WebmasterAlex]

Now that Alison is 9 it is much less of an issue but DW always complained the Alison did what I told her too and wouldn't listen to her in the same way. I tried to explain to her that it was simple... I always told her that if you do x..y WILL happen. When she did x...y happend. With DW it was always second chances and lightening up. I do believe it is kind of a "mommy" thing.
Just wondered how many other parents have this issue.

 

[Serena]

Oh, have you been to my house?

Yeah, this was an old argument with us. I was closer to the middle though, and he was unreasonably strict. And that isn't just my opinion.

If I had one of my dd's doing something and he needed something, he'd expect them to stop what they were doing for me, to do what he wanted or they got into trouble. They couldn't tell him that they were busy already, and that's just one example.

 

[snoopy]

Personally, I think Mommy's are wiser about picking their battles.

 

[worm761]

i agree with snoopy!!!!!

 

[DocRafiki]

If I had one of my dd's doing something and he needed something, he'd expect them to stop what they were doing for me, to do what he wanted or they got into trouble. They couldn't tell him that they were busy already, and that's just one example.

OOOOhhhh Serena, that would burn me up! That would happen to me at work with my assistants. I can't imagine it happening at my own home with my own children! I really should never get married.

 

[gina2000]

I give DS choices. He manages to figure out which one is the correct one every time!

DH is the one who can't get DS to cooperate as easily. He tends to ask instead of tell. I think that's a major pitfall for alot of parents.

 

[Serena]

Oh, I totally admit to doing the "mommy" thing.

Probably too often.

Doc, believe me it did.

 

[DixieAmos]

The anny used to always get the children to do things for her,they never listen to me.I am very lenient with them mind you,most mothers are.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

What your DH is doing Serena, is a little different than what I am talking about! She could definitely say to me "mommy said to do this" and that would be fine.

 

[Serena]

Alex, I know. From what I know of you, you are a really good daddy.


My h is on the extreme side, but we've had this argument, more than a few times.

 

[Patrick IL.]

I found with ours as the grew a little older, they attempted the divide and conquer method. Basically if "one" of us said it was ok and the other one did not agree they were in the clear Thus the "disagreement" would take place between the parents. It took a while to sort through this and catch on to the game. The female child in the house was the most creative on using this method DW and I would also disagree regarding consiquences for actions.

 

[doxdogy]

Actually in our house, it was the exact opposite. DH was more of the softie.

 

[glo]

I am the meanie in my house...I usually say you need to do this or this happens. DH tries to convince them and explain things in detail, and somehow things never get done. They also try the divide and conquer cuz they know DH is more of a softie, and I am the tyrant...lol

 

[browneyes]

My kids' daddy can sometimes get them to either stop doing something or start doing something a little quicker than I can. Especially our son. However, my kids know when I start counting up to 5, I mean business. My dd will stop/do whatever by the count of 2, my son on the count of 4. BUT! If I EVER start counting fast or slow to 20 in French, they both stop/do whatever on the count of un. I don't know why this works, they get into the same time out they'd get into if I don't have to count, but counting makes them wise up quicker.

 

[DaisyDebbie]

Daddy is the softie in this house too

 

[Eeyore2U]

Originally posted by WebmasterAlex
Now that Alison is 9 it is much less of an issue but DW always complained the Alison did what I told her too and wouldn't listen to her in the same way. I tried to explain to her that it was simple... I always told her that if you do x..y WILL happen. When she did x...y happend. With DW it was always second chances and lightening up. I do believe it is kind of a "mommy" thing.
Just wondered how many other parents have this issue.

DW and I had this discussion this morning. Boy was it nice to be an I told you so, when DS/16 didn't have the family room clean.

 

[Buckalew]

Thankfully, with our 8yo, we don't have this problem. She doesn't need to be asked twice. Both DH and I have always followed through like you say you do, Alex. We try to say what we mean and mean what we say. I can't stand to hear moms and dads that keep saying, "If you do that again... If you do it one more time..." They have big trouble and it starts very young.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I've had this one and mentioned it to the pediatrician on a visit back when it was a major problem. His explanation was...it's because you're "Mom." Gee, thanks!

 

[Goofy Dad]

I'm guilty of being the softy in our house...

But as for divide and conquer, our son has learned already that the one sure fire way to get in trouble is to ask the other parent something that he has already been told No for. That is grounds for instant punishment, no questions asked.

He can go to Mommy and say Daddy said I can't do such and such, and sometimes Mommy and Daddy will discuss and the verdict will change. At which time Daddy, says, your mother has intervened on your behalf, you may do such and such. Sometimes it's the other way around, and of course many time the answer stays no.

But if he tries to go behind the back of one or the other, that's big trouble time.

 

[KimRaye]

Softie is a polite way of saying DH lacks the disciplanarian skills of mommy. That's just my house.